The Parenting Lab (Help for the Healing Parent)

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This episode is a special one. Today, I’m joined by Tessie - one of my very first coaching clients - as she shares her powerful journey through this work.

In this conversation, Tessie opens up about where her family was before coaching, the challenges she faced as she began doing the deeper work, and the meaningful shifts that followed. We talk honestly about what it looks like to change patterns, regulate in hard moments, and build stronger, more connected relationships at home.

You’ll hear real-life examples from Tessie’s family, the lessons that surprised her along the way, and the advice she now offers to parents who are just beginning their own healing and parenting journey.

This episode is a beautiful reminder that change is possible - not because parenting becomes perfect, but because we learn to show up differently. 💛

If you’ve ever wondered what coaching actually looks like in real life… this conversation is for you.

Listen in as Tessie shares her story, her growth, and what’s possible when you commit to doing the work. ✨

Then tune in for Part 2, where her husband Dylan shares his experiences and how coaching altered how he views fatherhood.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

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Email Brittney: [email protected]

👉🏼 Purchase Lab 5: Regulated 👈🏼

In this episode, we’re rethinking one of the most overused - and misunderstood - words in the healing space: triggered.

Because what if your child’s behavior, your partner’s tone, or the chaos of your day isn’t what’s causing your reaction… but simply revealing what’s happening inside of you?

Using a powerful (and surprisingly clarifying) analogy, we break down the difference between the trigger and the mechanics - and why focusing only on what’s happening outside of you will keep you stuck in the same reactive patterns.

You’ll learn:

• Why triggers aren’t the cause of your reactions (and what actually is)

• What’s happening in your nervous system when you “flip your lid”

• How chronic stress creates a “hair-trigger” response

• Signs you’re being triggered in real time

• The connection between triggers and your inner child

• How to shift from blame → responsibility (without shame)

• Practical ways to create a “trigger lock” and respond with intention

This episode will help you stop feeling like you're at the mercy of your reactions - and start building the awareness, regulation, and capacity to respond differently.

Because the goal isn’t to eliminate triggers...It’s to change what happens next.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

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Email Brittney: [email protected]

🧘🏼‍♀️To learn more about your nervous system, download Lab Five: Regulated now! ✨

Is your instinct to step in every time your child struggles? What if that very struggle is exactly what helps them grow stronger, more confident, and resilient?

In this episode, we explore how resilience isn’t built by removing every challenge - but by learning to stay close while your child navigates frustration, disappointment, and difficult feelings.

Inspired by Douglas Malloch’s poem “Good Timber” and real-world examples like the trees of Biosphere 2, we dive into the difference between rescuing and supporting your children, how their nervous system builds resilience, and why your calm presence matters more than fixing every problem.

We also share practical strategies for:

• Helping children stay engaged with challenges without removing the learning opportunity

• Supporting emotional growth while avoiding overprotection

• Understanding your own nervous system reactions and triggers as a parent

Whether you’re parenting toddlers, school-aged kids, teens, or adult children, this episode will help you reframe struggles as growth opportunities - for both your child and yourself.

Discover how to let the wind blow while helping your children grow strong roots and deep resilience.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

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Email Brittney: [email protected]

✍🏼Download the Writing to Heal Mini-Lab!

Journaling has a reputation.

For some people, it feels natural and deeply healing. For others, it brings up images of teenage diaries, angsty poetry, or pages filled with emotions they’d rather not put into words.

But what if writing isn’t about documenting your life…
What if it’s a powerful way to understand it?

In this episode, we explore the art and science of therapeutic journaling - and why writing can be one of the most effective tools for emotional healing, nervous system regulation, and self-awareness.

Research shows that intentional writing can do far more than help you “vent.” It can reduce stress, improve emotional regulation, strengthen immune function, and help your brain process difficult experiences. When you put words to complex emotions, you activate the parts of the brain responsible for reflection and meaning-making - helping your nervous system move from overwhelm toward integration.

In other words:
Writing is a way of meeting yourself.

In this conversation, we explore:

• The neuroscience behind journaling and why it helps the brain process difficult experiences
• How writing reorganizes memories and reduces emotional intensity
• Why putting feelings into words helps calm the nervous system
• The connection between journaling, self-knowledge, and healthy self-esteem
• Four principles that make therapeutic writing effective
• Three powerful journaling methods you can try right away

Whether you’re someone who has journaled for years or someone who has always thought “journaling just isn’t for me,” this episode will help you see writing in a completely different way.

Because the goal isn’t to create something polished or impressive.

The goal is connection.

When you slow down long enough to explore your inner world - without judgment - you create space for integration, resilience, and healing.

✨ If you’d like guidance getting started, I’ve created a new Mini-Lab: Writing to Heal, with prompts and exercises for the three journaling practices discussed in this episode.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: [email protected]

🙋🏼‍♂️❓🤔⁠Download the FREE 100 Questions Guide⁠

Most parents are searching for the right answers. But what if the real power in parenting isn’t in having better answers - but in asking better questions?

In this episode of The Parenting Lab, we explore how asking thoughtful, curiosity-driven questions helps children develop emotional intelligence, confidence, critical thinking, and internal problem-solving skills.

You’ll learn why rushing to give answers can unintentionally create dependence and shut down communication - and how shifting to questions strengthens connection, autonomy, and trust.

We also cover:

• Why answers can close conversations - and questions open them
• How to build emotional intelligence and self-awareness in your child
• The nervous system science behind curiosity vs. control
• How questions strengthen attachment and long-term connection
• Practical examples of what to say in everyday parenting moments
• How to help your child develop confidence and internal authority
• Why this skill matters even more as your kids grow into teens and adults

This episode is especially helpful for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy, confident, and self-aware kids - without relying on control, lectures, or constant correction.

Because the goal isn’t to raise children who depend on your answers - It’s to raise children who trust their own ability to think.

🎧 Listen now to learn why better questions matter more than better answers.

Download the FREE 100 Questions Guide

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: [email protected]

Download Lab 6: Wired

Have you ever felt unheard in your relationship - even when you’re trying so hard to communicate clearly?
Do arguments escalate quickly, leaving you wondering why your partner (or your child) just doesn’t seem to get it?

You’re both in the same conversation.
You’re both in the same room.
But you didn’t come through the same door.

In this episode of The Parenting Lab, I’m sharing one of the most practical relationship frameworks I use with clients: Head, Heart, and Hands.

Every relationship operates through three foundational channels:

• The Head (logic, understanding, perspective)

• The Heart (emotion, attachment, connection)

• The Hands (action, follow-through, repair)

Most conflict doesn’t happen because we don’t love each other.
It happens because we’re entering the moment through different doors.

We’ll talk about:

• Why problem-solving can feel invalidating

• Why emotional reactions escalate conflict

• How attachment patterns shape your default response

• What happens when thinking, feeling, and action aren’t aligned

• Practical ways to improve communication in marriage and parenting

This episode blends the science of attachment and nervous system regulation with the art of communication and connection - so you can stop fighting the wrong battle and start building trust instead.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do we keep having the same fight?” - this framework will change how you see conflict, connection, and the people you love most.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: [email protected]

You’re speaking their love language.So why isn't it working?

If you’ve read the books, taken the quizzes, and tried to love your partner or child “the right way” - but something still feels off - this episode is for you.

In this thought-provoking conversation, we take a deeper look at one of the most popular relationship frameworks in pop psychology - The 5 Love Languages - and explore why speaking your partner’s or child’s love language might not be enough to create real emotional security.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner and love language quizzes everywhere, it’s the perfect time to ask a harder question: What actually makes love feel safe?

We’re diving into the powerful difference between love languages and attachment theory, especially in parenting and long-term relationships. You’ll learn why you can “get the behaviors right” - acts of service, physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation - and still feel disconnected. Because while love languages focus on what we do, attachment shapes how safe we feel.

In this episode, we explore:

• The hidden limits of the 5 Love Languages framework

• How attachment styles impact marriage and parenting

• Why emotional safety matters more than grand gestures

• The role of nervous system regulation in secure relationships

• How unresolved childhood patterns shape how we give and receive love

• What kids are really learning about love by watching your relationship

• Three practical anchors that build secure attachment at home

If you’re interested in attachment parenting, emotionally healthy relationships, nervous system regulation, breaking generational patterns, or building deeper connection in marriage, this conversation will challenge and encourage you.

Because secure attachment isn’t built in the highlight reel.
It’s built in the hard moments - through responsiveness, repair, and regulation.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing “all the right things” but something still feels off, this episode will help you understand why - and what actually grows roots that last.

🎙️ Let’s go deeper than love languages.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: [email protected]

Download Lab 5: Regulated

Have you ever felt closest to someone during conflict, crisis, or emotional intensity - and strangely disconnected when things finally calm down?

This episode explores trauma bonding through a nervous-system lens, looking at why stress, urgency, and emotional activation can feel like intimacy - and why peace can sometimes feel empty or unsettling instead of safe.

Trauma bonding is what happens when connection forms under chronic stress. When closeness only shows up during hard moments, the body learns that pain, unpredictability, or emotional intensity equals love. Over time, calm can start to feel unfamiliar - or even threatening.

In this episode, we unpack:
• What trauma bonding really is (and what it isn’t)

• How stress-based connection forms in families, friendships, and romantic relationships

• The difference between secure attachment, enmeshment, and trauma bonding

• Why calm can feel boring, empty, or disconnecting after years of intensity

• How these patterns are passed down across generations

• Why so many adults are creating distance from family - and what’s actually happening underneath

• How to heal trauma bonds without cutting people off or abandoning relationships

We also explore how trauma bonding shows up in parenting - especially with adult children - and why being needed can quietly become part of identity. If pain has been how love was proven, healing can feel like loss, even when it isn’t.

This episode isn’t about blame or labels. It’s about awareness, nervous system regulation, and learning how to stay connected without pain being the glue. Healing doesn’t mean losing depth or passion - it means redefining intimacy so it no longer costs your peace.

If you’re navigating complicated family dynamics, intense relationships, or the discomfort that can come with emotional calm, this conversation will help you understand what your body learned about connection - and how to gently update it.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: [email protected]

FREE How To Stop Yelling Guide

Download Lab Five: Regulated

If you’ve ever promised yourself you’d stop yelling - only to find yourself doing it again hours (or minutes) later - this episode is for you.

Yelling isn’t happening because you’re a bad parent, undisciplined, or doing something wrong. And the solution isn’t more self-control, better scripts, or “just staying calm.”

In this episode, we’re unpacking the truth most parenting advice misses: yelling is a nervous system response to overwhelm, not a behavior problem...

You’ll learn:

• Why yelling feels automatic - even when you desperately want to stop

• Why willpower and “trying harder” actually make the cycle worse

• What’s really happening in your body before you yell

• The hidden relational cost of yelling (and why it works in the moment but damages connection over time)

• How to regulate earlier so yelling no longer feels necessary

• Practical tools for noticing triggers, pausing without abandoning, repairing after rupture, and building nervous system capacity day to day

We’ll also talk about healing generational patterns, releasing shame, and why control without healing is just survival - not transformation.

This episode isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about understanding your nervous system, creating safety inside your body, and learning how to respond in ways that actually align with who you want to be as a parent.

If you’re exhausted from trying to stop yelling…
If you’re stuck in the yell→apologize→promise cycle…
If you know there has to be a deeper way - This conversation is for you.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠

Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠

Email Brittney: [email protected]

Ever lie awake after a hard parenting moment thinking, Why did I react like that when I know better?
If part of you wants to be calm and connected, but another part wants to shut down, snap, or walk away - you’re not broken. You’re experiencing inner conflict, and there’s a reason it shows up so powerfully in parenting.

In this episode we explore Parts Work for Parents - a compassionate, research-informed framework rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS) that helps make sense of why parenting can pull out versions of ourselves we don’t recognize or like.

You’ll learn how different “parts” of you - protective Managers, reactive Firefighters, and tender Exiles - work together to keep you safe, even when their strategies create disconnection or shame.

We talk about:

• Why parenting activates old emotional wiring, even when you’re doing “all the right things”

• How inner conflict is a nervous system response - not a parenting failure

• What Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles actually look like in real-life parenting moments

• How parts work reduces shame and helps you respond with more intention

• Simple, practical ways to start noticing and working with your parts - without overanalyzing or fixing yourself

This episode isn’t about becoming perfectly regulated or never getting triggered. It’s about learning how to understand yourself with more clarity, curiosity, and compassion so you can repair without self-attack and parent from a place of steadiness, not fear.

If you’ve ever wondered why you can want two opposite things at once as a parent… this conversation is for you.

♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney

Join The Parenting Lab Facebook Group!

For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit theparentinglab.org

Follow on Instagram @TheParentingLabPodcast

Email Brittney: [email protected]