The Parenting Reframe

This was such a special episode for me to interview Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions. Joe tells us his story of growing up with ADHD and how he came to write his book. We discuss the importance of understanding connection and power. Joe discusses why boundaries are so important and how our past childhood experiences affect how we parent. We go over so much more in this jam-packed episode. This is not one you want to miss. I know there is so much you will take away from this episode.  

What we go over with Joe Newman on Raising Lions:

• Joe’s story about how he wrote his book Raising Lions and the work he does.
• Why it is so important to understand connection and power with your child.
• Why eggshell parenting isn’t helping with behavior - when the parent backs away from challenges and does anything not to have a tantrum.
• The reason why strong-willed children need stronger boundaries.
• Why you need to take parts of old school and new school parenting to actually make it work.
• How giving too many choices is not helpful.
• Why doing less is more helpful.
• How Joe reframed timeouts to breaks.
• Breaks - what they really are and how and when to use them.
• Why no doesn’t mean no when you don’t set boundaries.
• How to get kids to take breaks when they aren’t listening.
• It takes time to undo children’s behaviors. It can sometimes take multiple experiences.
• It’s always us, as parents, it’s so critical to understand the dynamic of how you are dealing with your child.
• We are still at the beginning of understanding children. This requires stepping out of old paradigms and looking for what works for you and your child.
• Ask yourself, is what you are currently doing working? And if not, what can you do to shift the lens on what you are doing?
• Why ADHD children usually have sleep struggles.
• Kids need different things, some need approval, and others need power.
• Your child is not always seeking attention from you.
• Look at your behavior and past experiences as a parent. This affects your child.
• Children don’t learn cognitively first. They learn from experiences.

Learn more about Joe Newman - Raising Lions https://www.raisinglions.com/

Youtube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@raising_lions

Bio - Joe Newman likes kids with attitude because he was one. In 1970 he was diagnosed with ADHD & medicated.  His book, Raising Lions, is the culmination of a 30-year journey working with the most difficult kids and a desire to bring a new, more effective perspective to our educational institutions and families.  He teaches parents and teachers simple, practical methods to understand and motivate all our children.  In 2018 UCSB conducted a year-long study on how his method improved student behavior, motivation, and engagement in Pre-K through 6th-grade classrooms.  He’s been a guest on Radio Andy (Andy Cohen), goop podcast, The Tools with Barry Michels, and many other podcasts.  He’s spoken to audiences across the U.S., in Canada, Europe, Hong Kong, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia. In 2020, Raising Lions reached number one in its category on Amazon. 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This is a special episode for me. I am doing a parent coaching session with one of my first clients. I have had a lot of requests about what the inside of a coaching session looks like, so this is an excellent way to let you all see how I work with my clients. We will review the challenges of getting a 3-year-old to sleep through the night and alone. We will also discuss how to handle an older sibling having issues with attention when they feel the younger sibling is receiving more attention. 

 

What we go over in the live Parent Coaching Session:

• Sleeping challenges with a 3-year-old 
• Do what is best for your family, co-sleeping or in their room.
• Tip from Joe Newman, Raising Lions, how to handle “One more book.”
• Dr. Becky from Good Inside says when kids struggle to sleep independently, it’s another part of separation anxiety.
• Use of timers and limitations of what they are asking before bed.
• Use baby steps when trying to get your child to go to bed by themself.
• An unpopular opinion - for some kiddos, tv before bed is helpful. 
• Tips on setting the mood for bedtime.
• How having a game plan is essential for success. 
• Why taking away nap time might help. 
• Look at how baths affect your kiddo; sometimes, they are more stimulating than relaxing.
• How power struggles before bed can give kids more energy.
• How to handle an older sibling struggling with the attention the younger sibling is getting. 
• Ways to make special connections with your kiddo needing more attention.

Resources:

Joe Newman - Raising Lions https://www.raisinglions.com/

Dr. Becky - https://www.goodinside.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this mini-episode, we are discussing two different sides of tantrums or behavior our kiddos have with school vs. home. I have received both sides of this question where the kiddo does great at home but not and school and vice versa. In this episode, I am guiding you like I would if we were doing 1:1 coaching to help you ask the right questions to see why this behavior is happening and how to help you navigate how to help with these.

We discuss why my child’s different behaviors are happening, home vs. school:

• Guides to help with the different behaviors between home and school
• Every child is different, so this is just a guide.
• We go over children that don’t have tantrums at home but do at school.
• Question to ask, what is your child’s school learning environment and teaching style? What challenges are there for your child, and are they being challenged enough?
• Get the data on how they act at school; name it. And then see when it’s happening. This will require sitting with their teacher to better understand where it’s coming from.
• Find out if your kiddo is having issues sharing closer to lunchtime or when they are more tired at the end of the day.
• Consider adjusting bedtimes, adding more to their lunches, or maybe a snack is needed.
• Get a plan in place to see about changing this behavior before labeling them bad.
• Remember that kiddos are very accommodated at home; they don’t deal with wait times like at school.
• I remind parents that the issues children are dealing with are challenging for them to communicate with us.
• We must help our children build resilience, help them tolerate frustration, and develop problem-solving skills.
• Question to ask, especially for parents of neurodivergent children, are they in a place where they will thrive, or are they just trying to survive?
• Make sure to dig deeper into why the behavior is happening before putting all the blame on the school.
• Remember that school, in general, is designed for kids to conform.
• Why kids are acting up at home and not at school.
• Kids see other kids conforming, which can be overwhelming for your kiddos to follow, so when they get home to their safe place, they feel safe to express what they need and let their guard down. This results in tantrums and bad behaviors.
• It might be a good idea to see if there is a different class to help where it’s more your child’s speed.
• It’s a compliment to you as a parent when your child has tantrums or expresses hard emotions. It indicates they feel comfortable at home to do this.
• When a child acts up at home and not at school, it’s usually because they know the structure there. They can’t get away with it.
• Think about your boundaries in your home. Are you setting them and holding them, or are you repeating yourself repeatedly?
• Is there an agreement on parenting styles with your partner? If not, your child can be lost on what to do.
• Kids need a predictable outcome from both parents, even if they don’t like it.
• How are you connecting with your child throughout the day? Are you on your phone or computer when answering them? Are you asking them questions, being curious, and paying your full attention to them?
• Make sure you are validating their feelings about the boundaries you are setting for them.
• Look at the structure and routine of your home structure. If you have hectic mornings daily, this is setting your day up that way. Too much scheduled, too much snacking before bedtime, need to adjust bedtimes. Look at all these routines to see what you can help adjust to make it easier.
• Every family’s situation is so different. You should not be overwhelmed every day. If you are, reach out for help; 1:1 coaching, check with your doctor, mom groups, or carve out time for yourself.

Resources:

I have 2 -  1: 1 coaching spots opening up at the end of April. You can book a free 15 min call to see if this would be a good fit for you and your family.https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information.  https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this mini episode we are discussing two simple shifts that can help gain your kiddos cooperation. This episode is packed with examples of how to help you get off the Repeat and Warning train which eventually leads to yelling and feeling guilty. We go over the framework on how to help be consistent and get your kiddos to cooperate, toddlers to teenagers.  

We discuss how to get your children to cooperate :

• Why repeating ourselves is not helpful.
• How being triggered affects our frustration. 
• Understanding how you are responding to the situation is helpful in changing it. 
• Why you end up yelling to get your children to listen. 
• Why constantly repeating yourself leads to your kiddos realize you are not following through on what you are saying. 
• Pinpoint what it is that you keep repeating over and over, then come up with an action to assign with the direction you are giving. 
• The difference between time out and taking a break. 
• We go over an example of how to practice being consistent with your words. 
• A parent’s biggest superpower is staying calm. 
• Why validating their emotion is important, from toddlers to teenagers. 
• The problem with inconsistent responses. 
• Why it’s ok if your child is not happy all the time. 
• Reasons why having a coach is so helpful. 
• It can take a few times to help shift behaviors, being consistent is key.
• There is a different framework for helping each child, this goes all the way up to teenagers. 
• Why you have to have a game plan. 
• Boundaries are love! Get off the repeat and warning train!

Resources:

Make sure to sign up for the 45 min Stop the Whining, and start connecting Workshop on April 4th https://theparentingreframe.com/whining-workshop/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We are talking about how to respond to whining in this episode. Some of my most popular posts were on whining, so I wanted to dig deeper into dealing with it. It can be extremely triggering for parents, so we will go over ways to pause, acknowledge, respond, and reflect on how we respond to whining. I will give you some helpful exercises to help with the whining. I will also do a 60-minute workshop at the end of the month that you won’t want to miss, where we will go a little deeper!

We discuss how to deal with whining:

• How whining is so triggering, myself included!
• How whining is two-fold, we get triggered but still have to deal with the behavior. 
• Why we need to pay attention to our own triggers and how we respond. 
• How to move from reactive to responsible parenting.
• You are not separate from your child; it’s always an interaction resulting in some type of behavior. 
• We don’t want to place blame, just the recognition that we all play a part. How understanding this will help your family grow for the better. 
• How to use PARR (Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect) to help with whining. 
• Name your behavior when your child starts to whine. 
• Why not giving a consistent response isn’t helping.
• Why having a tool is essential to help you pause in stressful moments. 
• How I thought of whining kids before I had children; spoiled, bratty, or entitled.
• Once I realized my trigger, how I was able to change how I responded to whining. 
• You will make mistakes when dealing with triggers; just reset and try again.
• Whining is a secondary behavior to something else. 
• How to do a parenting audit.
  • When does the whining happen: time of day, near nap time, are they hungry, etc.?
  • Is it in response to something?
  • Find out the context of what is causing the whining.
• I will have a 60-minute workshop on whining at the end of March. Make sure you are on my email list so you will be the first to know when registration opens. 
• 3 different activities to help practice to help deal with whining when it’s not happening. 

Books referenced in the episode:

• Raising Lions - Joe Newman - https://www.raisinglions.com/
• Good Inside - Dr. Becky - https://www.goodinside.com/book/

Resources:

Make sure to sign up for my newsletter so you will be the first to be able to register for my 60-minute Whining Workshop at the end of March!

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We are talking with Megan Accardo, a good friend, great business coach, and wonderful mom. She tells us all about her journey from infertility to adoption, to finally being a mom to baby Kylee. So many women are going through similar situations and Megan wants to help them know that they are not alone. She goes into her IVF journey, loss, and the decision on how she finally becomes a mom. I am so excited for you to hear this episode, Megan has some wonderful advice on how she navigated her long journey to becoming a mother. 

Megan’s Journey with IVF and adoption:

• Megan talks about her 9-year journey with IVF and infertility. 
• She talks about her health journey along the way.
• How it was harder not knowing why she couldn’t get pregnant. 
• The practice she did to handle not being able to carry a child. 
• How it came down to 2 choices for motherhood.
• Her journey with the adoption process and the stresses of getting there.
• The stress of the 10-day grace period for final adoption. 
• The exciting homecoming of baby Kylee
• Do you have a baby shower when you adopt, and other questions?
• How important it is to have a community. 
• The transition of going back to work with a baby. 
• Megan gives some advice to anyone who is going through the same things. 
• How can you let go of how it was supposed to be.

Learn more about Megan:

Power Your Purpose Podcast: https://www.meganaccardo.com/poweryourpurpose

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meganaccardo

Website: https://www.meganaccardo.com/

Pod Party: https://coaching.meganaccardo.com/pod-party

Resources:

Friday March 3rd at 1 pm EST is my first live workshop - The Taming Tantrums Workshop. It will be 90 mins where you get answers to your tantrum questions and learn how to get through this incredibly challenging phase of parenting. If you can’t make it live, don’t worry…you will have access to the full recording afterward! Plus time for Q&As, Copy of Tacking Tantrums and Challenging Behaviours E-Book along with 2 bonuses. You don’t want to miss it! 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options

 https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We will be discussing how to respond to tantrums in this episode. I did a recent post on tantrums and I talked about the three things not to do during a tantrum and I got a lot of questions on this. So this episode I am going over 5 questions that were asked. I am going over ways to help during a tantrum and also things I have learned to change in how I handle situations. I hope you enjoy it!  Please excuse my dog in the background, dogs have tantrums too!

How to Respond to Tantrums:

• 3 things not to do during a tantrum and why.
• Why we want to hold space for our kiddo during a tantrum.
• Why it’s important for kiddos to regulate their emotions and the effects it has on them.
• Ways to help during a tantrum.
• Make sure you are on my email list so that you can sign up for my first-ever Live workshop on tantrums, the information comes out this week!
• How to handle tantrums around 15 months. A little different than when they are 3.
• How framing the situation before a tantrum is helpful.
• How using PARR (Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect) during tantrums can help cope with the situation easier.
• Why keeping your calm is essential for your kiddo during a tantrum.
• Advice for a teacher on how to handle tantrums in the classroom.
• How I handled tantrums in the classroom in my past years of teaching.
• Great quote from Dr. Becky Kennedy, author of Good Inside, Don't necessarily parent to be fair, parent the needs of your child.
• Techniques to calm down during a tantrum.
• The Starfish breathing to help stay calm during a tantrum or after.
• Why I don’t like the saying “Use your words”.

Resources:

Make sure you are on my email list so that you can sign up for my first-ever Live workshop on tantrums, the information comes out this week! 

Check out Episode 7 with how to use the starfish method with my good friend Harmony Slater. 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we are discussing picky eaters and tips to help with my friend and colleague Amy Hengstebeck, Director of Occupational Therapy at the Kaufman Children’s Center. She has expertise in feeding therapy, so I thought she would be the perfect person to bring on the show to talk about why our kids are picky eaters. She has some great tips to understand why and ways to help get them to try and eat new foods. 

Tips to help picky eaters:

• Why kids around 18 months - 2 years usually become picky.
• When picky eating becomes more of a problem.
• Sensory can be a big part of picky eating: different textures of foods, choking issues from certain foods, etc.
• How parents' reactions can help kids be picky.
• Why letting your baby be messy while eating is helpful.
• Some tips on spoon feeding to make it easier.
• When to start feeding meats and the foods you eat.
• Why do kids like crunchy carb food so much?
• How bringing some fun and silliness in helping kids understand different food is helpful.
• Ways to help bring new foods to your kiddos with play, little changes at a time.
• Tips on introducing new foods to a picky eater.
• Kids like predictability, so that can be harder with fruits and vegetables.
• When should the sippy cups go away, and tips on how to do it?

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we discuss why we don’t want our children to be always happy. There will be hard times in our kiddos’ lives, and we need to sit with them, help them process their feelings, and learn the lessons it is teaching them. The hardest thing as a mom is to make everything better for our children, from toddlers to adults, no matter how old they are. In doing this, we are not allowing them to grow from the lessons. I am reframing ways how we can do this. It’s not easy. I personally know this, but our kids need to sit in the emotions and learn from the hard times instead of, as the parent, always trying to make it better. 

Reasons why you don’t want your children to always be happy:

• Ask yourself what’s wrong with not being happy all the time?
• We teach kids to avoid and run away from hard things. 
• Why it’s not helpful to not process the hard things
• The reasons why I want my kids to learn how to deal with the hard things. 
• Why we want our kids to look at hard situations and see what they can take from the problems to grow from it
• Ways that you can reframe how to talk about challenging situations with your kids, even when you are as upset as they are
• Help them learn the lesson they can take from the situation, and reframe it positively 
• When we just want to make our kids, we are creating a co-dependency. 
• What happens when they aren’t having a good time, they won’t want to tell you to make you feel bad.
• Why coming from a place of neutrality is vital for our kids and how it can help them work through the struggle.
• Why we can’t make bad feelings the bad guy.
• One of the hardest parts of being a parent is the restraint to let your kids go through hard times, but they need to sit with it and learn from it.
• Take the time to see how you handle hard emotions as an adult.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we are going to dive a little deeper into how to handle tantrums in public. I will give some different solutions and ways to approach this problem. This is a common issue that we all have. I go over how to take the time to see how we handle tantrums at home and ways to handle these situations in public. 

Tips for handling tantrums in public:

• The difference between tantrums in public vs tantrums at home. 
• Parents feel very exposed when tantrums happen in public, the reactions will change compared to at home. 
• Why your energy level is heightened in a public setting and how your child notices this.
• Why asking yourself how you handle tantrums at home will help when you are in public.  
• The difference between secondary re-enforcement vs. redirecting.
• The reasons why you want your kiddos to have tantrums at home; make sure you have empathy and are holding space for the tantrums. 
• There are certain times when it’s good to redirect your child’s behavior. 
• Tips on how to handle situations when you know that a tantrum will happen. 
• Frame the situation ahead of time with scripts to help avoid a tantrum, grab my freebie, How to Get your kids to listen, to help with this. 
• How to handle your kids from not hitting or throwing, why time outs aren’t my favorite for this. 
• Why talking during a tantrum does not help. 

Resources: 

Here is the link to join The Parenting Reset, which will start on January 13th, there are only two spots left.

https://theparentingreframe.com/the-parenting-program/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.