The People Builder

Are you feeling fully refreshed and ready to go into 2020 and achieve your goals? Do you feel like you have your plan and your intention set in a way that are going to help you to get the results that you want? Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and I want to kick off 2020 by giving you a message and some tips around 3 things that you can do to make sure that your January sets you up for success throughout 2020.

So, happy New Year to all of you. Welcome to a new year, a new decade. I'm still in a little bit in holiday mode, although the office opens again today. I've got my Christmas period beard going on. I'm not sure how long that will stay. However, I wanted to make sure that I gave you what I could today to help you to get started fast.

So, let's take a look at what people like you and I can do to hinder what it is that we want to do in 2020. We can take the process that we went through in December of reflection and we can use it in a negative way as we go into the new year. We can look at the things that we got wrong in 2019 and they become an anchor and stop us from going forward. We can have a look at all those things that we became that we're not happy with and we can allow those to form beliefs about ourselves, which are not going to service and are going to hold us back.

But, I want to take you through 3 things that you and I can do in January while everybody else is still getting started again, having a think about whether or not I'll set some goals. Well, we're going to hit the ground running and do 3 things to set us up for success. Now, by the way, when I say the word success, that means something totally different to you than it does to me. And, to be honest, even I feel it's a word that I use too often. What is success? So, I think that's the first step is let's work out what success is for you before we go through this process. But now, having done that, getting ready to propel ourselves into 2020, let's take a look at these 3 things. 

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Hey, everyone. This is Grant and we have come to the end of another year. We've come to the end of another decade. It's the season to have fun and, you know, to get a bit crazy and to just reflect on the great opportunities that await you in 2020.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation around Intentionality by talking about finishing strong and planning well.

For FREE resources and coaching from one of the leading personal development experts in the world, visit: https://www.grantherbert.com

Get the FULL TRANSCRIPT here:

https://www.grantherbert.com/blog/thank-you-for-2019

Become A Coach and grow your influence, income, and impact here: https://www.peoplebuildersinstitute.com.au 

Hey, everyone. This is Grant and we have come to the end of another year. We've come to the end of another decade. It's the season to have fun and, you know, to get a bit crazy and to just reflect on the great opportunities that await you in 2020.

So over the last 3 or 4 months, I kicked off a series to really get us ready so that we could go into 2020 so much stronger and we could set an intention to move to a new level. Now, we talked about stress, we talked about sleep, we talked about self-care, we talked about personal power and having that inner knowing that you have everything that you need to be. You've got everything within you and around you to get ahead in life. You've just got to believe in that and believe in yourself, and you can do whatever it is that you need to do. You can be whoever it is that you need to be in every area of your life. We talked about setting boundaries and learning to say no and say yes appropriately. And last week, we started talking about intentionality. Over the last couple of weeks, intentionality. And we talked about going through the process to set us up to finish strong in 2019.

So as this is going to air, it's the 30th of January here in Australia. We got one more day. And what most people will do on the 31st of January is they will set some New Year's resolutions of things that they're not going to do next year or things that they're going to do differently next year. And you can go to any gym, for example, on the 31st and the 30th and the days before that of January and it's pretty empty. You go there the 1st week of January and it's full. You can't get on a machine. But sure enough in the third week of January, there's plenty of room on the machine because people have great intentions, but they don't set an intention that they are commited to. And they haven't set themselves up mentally and physically and belief-wise, et cetera, to be able to do things differently to what they did last year.

So I really hope that I've had some opportunity to speak into your life. I've had many of you connecting with me, asking me questions. I'd really love to see that increase more as we go into 2020 and I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear in the comments what are the things that you want to know more about. What journey can I take you on? You know, I know from my, you know, many years of experience of travelling around the world, working with people, people just like me, like you, the things that we need to work on, but I want to scratch where you're itching right now. And the more people who get involved with me, the greater I'll be able to give back.

So to finish off 2019, a year, for me, that had some extreme highs and some extreme lows. You know, we know it's what happens to us in life. It's what we make it mean that's important. But I'm charged, ready to go, doing things differently in some areas in 2020 and I'm looking forward to the new decade bringing me more opportunities to step into my full destiny, to step into what it is that I'm on the planet and I'm supposed to be doing so that I can leave a legacy for generations to come.

So what about you? As we go into 2020, what are you going to do differently next year? You know, by the way, if you don't believe in yourself, what I want you to do is I want you to take the belief that I have in you and work with that for awhile until you catch up, until you start believing for yourself. So it's been my privilege to work with you this year. I'm looking forward to taking you somewhere else on another level next year. Have an amazing New Year, set some intentions, and go into 2020 knowing that when you have a plan and you've prepared and you've put in the action, you get the results. I look forward to speaking with you again in 2020. Bye for now.

Are you really looking forward to the end of 2019? So that you can get into a new year, a new decade, and leave this one behind?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation around Intentionality by talking about finishing strong and planning well.

Every year, I go through a process at this time of the year with my clients to help them to be able to move forward and have an even better year next year than the one that they had this year.

See, you can achieve more in the first 90 days of next year than most people will do in the whole year by learning from the past and strategically planning for the future. The problem is most people are anchored to the past. You know, they look at where they were at the end of 2018 and then look at where they are now and then look at everything that didn't go well and everything becomes a problem and I understand. I used to be there. You know, it's like going on a holiday and you book a hotel from the website and it looks really, really great on the website and then you get there and it doesn't look that good. It doesn't look anything like the one that you thought that you'd booked. Now, does that stop you from ever going on holiday again? Does that stop you from ever using the internet to book a hotel again? No. We learn from that and we move forward. And the other problem that I see is people reacting to chaos all the time. So instead of having things planned, they are just seat of your pants, let's just do it from day to day, and let's react to the chaos that are surround us. And one of the really big things I say at this time of year in particular is this debilitating behaviour of comparison.

So comparing yourself to where you were last year and have I been good enough this year? Have I done enough this year? Comparing yourself to others and your perceived view of their success. And that can be a major downer for you as you go into the holiday period and all these things end up that you go into the new year missing opportunities. It locks you up in the current year and doesn't release you to go and do greater things in 2020 and beyond. So I want to help you with that. I want to change your results by changing the way that you finish the year and move into the next year. Now, I'll tell you straight upfront, I do not subscribe to new year's resolutions. This is a process that I do not only at the end of the year, but I do it every quarter and so to my clients. So instead of being anchored in the past, what we want to do is learn from the experiences we've been through and then move on.

You know, it's like Benjamin Franklin. He failed so many times in getting the light globe to work. The electric light globe. But what he really did and every time he got asked about it is he learnt all the ways not to do it. So he moved on to the next one, otherwise we would be standing in the dock right now, perhaps. So we learn to move on from things. We take the time to realign where we are, realign where we're going, realign with our values. So we look at what we did and we make sure that it's realigned and on purpose where we're going.

And we set up a personal flight plan. You know, an airplane, and I go on a lot of them, airplanes are only ever on track twice. Once before it pulls back from the gate and then again once it's reached the gate at the other end and it stopped. And in between the first and the second, the A and the B, we've got a series of tweaks and adjustments and, you know, flight plan changes based on atmospheric conditions, weather, and that amazing thing called air traffic control. You know, I always love it when we seem like things are going well on a flight and the captain will come on and say, "I'm going to get you at the gate early." And I immediately think, please don't say that because there's an air traffic control at the other end that normally gets you to do five or six laps of the airport before they let you land because of congestion. But we have a personal plan around how we're going to do things differently next year and those things help us to create massive momentum. So instead of being locked up from opportunity, we get started quickly. And as I said, you can get more done in the first 90 days than most people will do in the entire year.

So the whole process starts with getting clear on where you want to go. I use a system. I call it the R4 Method, where we look at the results that you want at the end of 2020. And then we come back to now and go, "Well, how is it different now? What's my current reality?" And then we've got a gap and then we look at what are the roadblocks that are going to stop you from going from where you are now to where you want to go. Things like limiting beliefs, mindsets, behaviors, things that you're doing that sabotage your results. And then we go, "Okay, so what are the resources that we need to add there so that I can go from where I am now to where I want to be and overcome those roadblocks to get there?" So once we've done that, we then can focus on the first 90 days. So let me take you through the process now, once we know where we want to go, that we go through at this time of year so that we can get into 2020, hit the ground running, and build that momentum.

By the way, if you would like a copy of a worksheet to do this, hit me up in the comments and our team will get that to you, but right now you just need a piece of paper. So the first thing we need to do is we need to reflect on the year that's passed. So we look at 2019 and we look at two things: we look at things that worked well and things that didn't quite go as we wanted them to. Now the difference here is the way that we do it. So we do it with what's called forward focused reflection. See, what a lot of people do at this time of year is they get back into the year and they look at everything that didn't work and they get down on themselves and they allow that small voice to pull them back. And those limiting beliefs come up again and it deflates them and disempowers them and they start the year flat. But if we imagine we're in a car and we're going on a journey, when we're in that car, we have two pieces of glass in front of us and no, one of them is not your phone. We have the windscreen or the windshield. This large piece of glass so that we can see where we're going. And then we have the rear-vision mirror, which is that small piece of glass up in front of us so that we can, every now and then, have a look up and see where we've been and see what's happening.

And that metaphor tells us how we need to reflect on our year. So we're reflecting on what's happened, what's been, whilst we're keeping most of our focus on where we're going. So we quickly go back into our past and look at our wins and look at the things that didn't go so well. And the only purpose that we go there is to be able to extract the information that's going to help us as we move forward. So we look at our wins and we go, "What did I do well? What worked?" And we take that and we use it again. And then we look into the things that didn't go so well and the only reason we look at them is to go, "What could I do differently moving forward?" So we reflect in a forward focused way to gather that information for moving forward.

The second thing that we do is we realign. You know, we've probably gone off on a few different paths over the year and done many things that took us off on a tangent that were the things that stopped us from getting everything done, from getting where we needed to be. We've also, perhaps, gone off on some of our priorities, our true priorities, our values, and done some things that were outside that. So we look at what's ahead and we realign based on what we're doing and where we're going and make sure that that fits in with our priorities and our values.

And then the last thing we want to do is make sure that we know exactly what needs to get done in the first week of 2020. And when I say the first week, it could be the first week back at your career, at your business, or it could be on the 1st of January. That's up to you. But we want to relaunch into the year knowing what we're going to get done. See, those who get more done in the first 90 days will invest time now, invest energy now to go through this reflect process, through the realign and refresh process, and have a plan ready. Those who don't want that momentum will wait 'til somewhere in January and then they'll might put a plan together and get started sometime mid-February. And they're already behind the eight ball. So we want to reflect, we want to realign, we want to refresh, and then relaunch with full of energy knowing exactly what we need to do.

So that's it for me this week. As I said, jump down in the comments. I'd love to hear what this has meant for you, what your reflection tells you, what your refreshing is going to be, and if you want a copy of a worksheet to help you to do that, make sure you ask that as well and give us, you know, an email address to be able to send that to you. That would be fantastic. So next week we're going to continue on this journey of intention by looking at other areas in our plan. I'll see you then.

Are you really looking forward to the end of 2019? So that you can get into a new year, a new decade, and leave this one behind?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation around Intentionality by talking about finishing strong and planning well.

For FREE resources and coaching from one of the leading personal development experts in the world, visit: https://www.grantherbert.com

Get the FULL TRANSCRIPT here:

https://www.grantherbert.com/blog/planning-your-journey

Become A Coach and grow your influence, income, and impact here: https://www.peoplebuildersinstitute.com.au 

Do you think and act on purpose and deliberately? Knowing what it takes to control your own outcomes? Your own destiny?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to start a conversation with you about your Intentionality.

So over the next few weeks, I want to take you through some of the things me and my clients do to make that happen in our lives. Things like making decisions and taking action consistent with your goals and values. Managing distractions and staying focused on your goals. Making a consistent effort to bring about the results you want at this time of the year. Getting clear about what you want to make happen in your life, in your career, in your home life or in a particular relationship. It all starts with acting deliberately to achieve the outcomes you want and that takes purpose.

Do you think and act on purpose and deliberately? Knowing what it takes to control your own outcomes? Your own destiny?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to start a conversation with you about your Intentionality.

For FREE resources and coaching from one of the leading personal development experts in the world, visit: https://www.grantherbert.com

Get the FULL TRANSCRIPT here:

https://www.grantherbert.com/blog/intentionality-and-purpose

Become A Coach and grow your influence, income, and impact here: https://www.peoplebuildersinstitute.com.au 

Are you one of these people that has a problem saying no? It's a bit of a trick question by the way, and I asked my clients that all the time and most of them come back and go, “Yes, that's me. I have a problem saying no”. I'm going to challenge you on that today. You don't have a problem saying no at all because every time you say yes to something out of obligation, you're saying no to something that's probably one of your true priorities.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to have a conversation with you around learning to say yes and no appropriately.

So over the last few weeks, we've been talking about developing our Personal Power, that inner self-confidence, and knowing that we have everything within us and around us to be who we need to be to get done what we've been put on the planet to get done. We talked about self-care and how self-care is not selfish. It's about putting yourself first so that you can then help others. It's about having a balance between taking care of others with self-taken care of. We talked about on the airplane when the mask drops down and they say fit your mask before assisting other guests. 

We went on this month to talk about the number of things and we talked about boundaries, we talked about setting boundaries, and we talked about your priorities and what it is that's important to you, and we talked about making 2 decisions, and then there was the 4 steps that I took you through last week. And by the way, if you're just joining me right now, go back and listen or watch each of those episodes and it'll take you on the journey to where we're getting to today. So today I wanted to finish up this series around Personal Power by talking about saying yes and no appropriately.

We're just about to come into the Christmas season and I find that this is an area or a time of year where there is a lot of people that want a lot of us, and we can have a bit of an energy challenge if we say yes to everything. So the reason I've taken you on this journey to get to here now is we need to have a high personal power, high value on ourselves, exercise self-care, get that mindset sorted out and those behaviours started before we're able to go through with what I'm going to teach you right now.

So right at the start I challenged you and I said, "You don't have a problem saying no, you have a priority problem." So, for example, in my corporate career, if my boss continually asked me to stay back and I just went yes, because I felt I needed to do that, to be liked, to belong, to be part of that team, to get to stay, whatever it was that my inner dialogue was telling me. Then immediately after saying yes, I'd have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that I had to then miss out on something that I'd promised one of my kids or my wife or someone in my family or a friend. So I said yes out of obligation. And quite often we do that and then that person goes away and then we go, “Oh, why are they asking me to do these things all the time?”.

And at the end of the day, the reason why I ask got asked those questions all the time was because I always said yes. And it's that instant response of, "Yes, I'll just say yes to everything because if I say yes to everything, then people will like me, people will accept me, people will approve of me. And that's where we talked about breaking free of that performance trap. So step one in being able to learn to say yes and no appropriately is to make sure that we have a clear understanding of our true priorities.

Now, right now, this week, it's been pretty hectic for me. I'm just about to go and get on a plane and fly to Melbourne overnight, working with some clients tomorrow, sorting out some things for next year. So even doing this right now, it's going to be shorter than what it normally is because I need to prioritise getting some self-care things done before I go. So it's good for you to know that I most of the time, because I'm human, practise what I'm teaching you. So I'm saying yes to getting those things done that I need to get done before I go that are important to me and no to getting this perfect and getting it, you know, a good length. That's what I'm used to doing.

So let's take a look at how we can learn to say no. So the first thing, as I said, is we get the priorities right. The second thing we want to do is I want you to do an exercise with me where you identify when you say yes, what you're actually saying no to. So, for example, my boss has asked me back, so I go, "Yes!" So that yes is getting me to say no to spending that time with my son or going to my daughter's recital, whatever it is. So we call it out and we write it out this way. We go, "By saying yes to staying back after hours, I'm saying no to going to have quality time with my children."

Now we're doing this not to beat ourselves up and to feel bad, we're doing this to identify which of those are of the highest priority and that's why we need to start with getting the priorities down first. So let's do it the other way, "By saying no to this, I'm saying yes to this." So if I just flip that one, "By saying no to working back every night this week, I'm saying yes to having a balance and quality time with my children."

So you can see how you can flip it the other way, "By saying no to eating this cake, I'm saying yes to my gut health and to a good night's sleep."

"By saying yes to eating all that fast food, I'm saying no to good gut health, which affects my mental health and my ability to perform, et cetera." So we are doing an audit, we're doing an inventory of saying yes and saying no.

So I'd love you to do that. What are the things that you say yes to way too quickly? And write those out as a list in the way that it says, "By saying yes to...," And then insert whatever that is, "I'm saying no to..." And call it out. So that's the first thing. And there's an exercise for you to do as soon as you've listened to this or watch this video. The second thing I want to empower you with as I leave today is learning to say no in a way that people understand. And it's about using a soft no. You see, that instant reaction of someone asked me to do something, so to fight those fears of not being good enough, not belonging, not being loved, I go, "Yes!" And it's in that split second we go, "Why did I say that?" We want to take it back. So what we want to do is we want to have an exercise or a process that gives us some space to think.

So my boss comes in and says, “Hey Grant, I've got this project that I want you to invest some more time in, and it's going to mean that you're going to need to work back 3 or 4 days next week.” Now instead of going, "Yes!" And then regretting it, what I could do differently is go, "Yes, boss, I'd love to see if I can do that. I'll need to get some more information from you as to what that actually entails so that I can see if it's going to work for me. So I've said yes, they've heard that I'm, you know, on board with them in what I'm going to do or what they wanted me to do. But I've got to filter at first and see if it fits with what I've got on. And what that does is two things: it gives me space and something different to do so that I don't just go "Yes!" And it gives me an understanding of what I need to do next and that is check it against my priorities.

So two things that I want you to do going into Christmas is set up a list that says, "When I say yes to this, I'm saying no to this." Both positive and negative. "And when I'm saying no to this, I'm saying yes to this in the same way." And then practise the soft no. Practise saying, "Yes, when I get some more information." And then because you are someone with a high level of personal power, say no boldly because your priorities are what's important to you. That's it for me for another week. I'm off to Melbourne. Have an amazing weekend and a great week coming up, learning to say yes and no appropriately. I'll see you next week.

Setting Boundaries

Summary:

• l Just like protecting our home, the same is true with our personal boundaries. We have power to say no.

• l You CAN set your own boundaries. Boundaries don’t separate you from life; in fact they enrich it. Boundaries give you the freedom to become the person you desire to be.

• l If you desire to be in charge of your own destiny, you have to learn how to speak up and tell others what is acceptable and what is unacceptable to you.

• l The first thing you need to do is make some decisions about you and your boundaries. Decision 1: Decide what you want and don’t want from other people. Decision 2: Decide to enlarge your boundaries.

• l 4 steps to enforcing boundaries in your life. Step 1: Have conversations. Step 2: Tell people what you want and don’t want, and how you feel. Step 3: If you do not see anything change, give a warning. Step 4: If after all this it still remains the same, distance yourself.

• l You are not here to live up to the expectations of others, and neither are they here to live up to yours. Use assertiveness in balance or seek the the middle path.

• l The purpose of setting boundaries is not to be separated from others, but to gain the freedom and strength to live your life to its full potential. It is only after we learn how to protect, honour, and love ourselves that we are able to do the same for others.

• l Join me again next week when we continue the conversation by taking a look at saying Yes and No appropriately.

Are you one of these people that has a problem saying no?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to have a conversation with you around learning to say yes and no appropriately.

For FREE resources and coaching from one of the leading personal development experts in the world, visit: https://www.grantherbert.com

Get the FULL TRANSCRIPT here:

https://www.grantherbert.com/blog/learning-to-say-yes-and-no

Become A Coach and grow your influence, income, and impact here: https://www.peoplebuildersinstitute.com.au