The Perspective Matters Podcast

Today August 1st many former European colonies will celebrate Emancipation Day. A specific group of people thought it was a good idea to enslave another group of people and visit on them unspeakable horror; the effects of which we are still experiencing. When we endure that kind of trauma it impacts our genetic makeup and affects our entire lineage. Slavery was not going to end; because it was highly profitable; so no body bothered to consider the implications of slavery.  For this week I want to talk about the Freedom of the Mind. While our ancestors’ physical body was enslaved; their mind wasn’t. It was defiant and so lighting acres of sugar cane was the order of the day; planning and leading rebellions; forming a militia speaks to the fearless warrior spirit our ancestors. 

The trauma was passed down and so too was the resilient and fighting spirit. You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams, because we are their wildest dreams. We don’t have the luxury of playing it safe. We don’t have the time for doubt, for the imposter syndrome. Because everything you are and everything you have accomplished was a dream of your ancestor. Learning to read was a crime punishable by death and our ancestors learned to read anyway. While some of us out here behave like reading is a chore; we have the luxury of reading any time and some of us out here refuse to read a caption. That is privilege. Some of us have forgotten to cost of the freedoms we enjoy. 

Our minds could be enslaved whether it is self-imposed or the effects of Society. Bob Marley in his song Redemption Song reminds in his thought-provoking soul stirring song “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery none but ourselves can free our mind. Have no fear for atomic energy cause none of them can stop the time”. Some of us are walking around and we are not free. We are imprisoned because of fear; self doubt, the opinions of others. 

We are enslaved by the preoccupation with They. A popular question we ask is “what will they think or what will they say”. Let them talk. The opinions of others should not be your business when it comes to living your life and pursuing your dreams. Emancipation day calls for honest introspection.  We need to have that raw honest vulnerable conversation with ourselves. Assess if we are really living up to our full potential! Our ancestors did not endure all they did; just so you could play it safe. You are here afraid to take risks! Meanwhile your ancestors where here plotting how to escape the horrors of slavery; which they did and they went back and helped others escape too! And you are afraid of taking a chance on yourself and go after your dreams because you are afraid of what they will think and what they will say? Ask yourself what do I want to do? Ask yourself that question. Once you can figure that out; it will dictate what you need to do. The next questions to ask are: am I willing and am I able. You are special and you are your ancestors wildest dreams. Take up as much space as you want! It will require a lot healing and mental work but it can be done.! 

Jamaican proverbs are full of so much common sense wisdom that offer guidance on how we navigate life. Personal Development doesn’t always have to be so serious! It can be fun! As Jamaicans we can be so expressive and how creative we are in giving our commonsense wisdom and the fearlessness with which we communicate.

Monkey mus know weh him go put him tail before him order trousiz. Be clear about how you’re going to carry out the task; before you initiate the process. We want to take on projects without considering the implications of the yes. You say yes; without understanding what you are saying yes to. There is value in pausing and assessing whether or not you should yes to the opportunity. When we say yes to things; do we have a limitation or insecurity that could hinder us. It is good to say yes and push the boundaries. When we say yes to something; we are saying no to something else. 

If cow did know how him throat hole tan; or how him batty part. Him wouldn’t chance pear seed. We do not always realize our limitations. We are willing to embrace opportunities; that we tend to forget our limitations. It is good to take on something outside of you comfort zone and skillset. It is good to be mindful that we have limitations. We shouldn’t look at ourselves in that manner; because we restrict ourselves in what we explore. When we know our limitations; we can make easier choices. The decision doesn’t become can I or do I do it; it becomes should I do or not. We can decide whether or not to take on the challenges because we know what we’re capable. Knowing your limitations makes the decision making process easier. Recognize that you have limits and there is nothing wrong; embracing your limitations and pushing past them if you think there is value in doing so. 

When you go a jackass yard; you nuh fi chat bout him big ears. Being tactful and kind is important. Don’t criticize someone in their presence or behind their back. If you think your feedback will add value; then find a kind way to share it with the person. It is better to kind than to be nice. Whether it is a physical or character trait; find a kind compassionate way to provide the feedback. It is the person’s prerogative to accept or reject your feedback. If you can guarantee that your feedback won’t make the person feel small; insignificant and unworthy then share your feedback. If you can guarantee that you will add value; make a positive impact and improve their day then by all means share it. But if believe because you are sharing the truth you can be blunt and rude; just remember the roles can be reversed.

Man nuh cross river nuh fi cuss alligator say him mouth long. This is a timely reminder. We need people; we are social beings. As a fellow introvert; being around people can be hard; it can be emotionally and physically exhausting. We were wired to function in a community. By living in tribes and clans; they were able to secure their safety. Safety from the elements and safety from predators. As you engage with people be mindful of your interactions. I’m not encouraging you to be a brown-noser. Your value should come from you and what you can bring to the table. Your integrity and strength of character is where you place your value; not in who you can compliment. Be authentic and sincere in your dealings. Don’t be dismissive of people just because you perceive they can’t do anything for you. Be honest in all your dealings; have the highest integrity. Be genuine in your relationship building. Don’t use people. Don’t treat people as objects. Don’t let your position in life to inflate your ego. Don’t be misled by the belief that you are untouchable so you can treat people poorly. You don’t know the connections and reach of people. 

Until next time remember "There are two sides to every coin; just flip it to get the full view!"

Long pass draw sweat; short-cut draw blood. While this proverb is a warning for the risks involved in taking a shorter route for a literal journey. We can also apply this proverb to our lives and the pursuit of our goals and dreams. Taking a short-cut may yield less than ideal results and leave you feeling dissatisfied or worse. The long route involves more time and requires patience but the results could leave you feeling very satisfied and please with yourself.

If the advantages outweigh the risks and you have done your due diligence then by all means take the short cut. As long as you are not succumbing to the temptation of the "microwave mentality". In all you do exercise wisdom, discernment, good judgement and remember it's just as much about the journey as it is the destination.

"A patient man rides the donkey" is a Jamaican proverb used to extol the virtue of patience. After-all, if you know the obstinacy of a donkey anyone who can ride one and get to their destination; truly embodies patience. For this week's episode I use this proverb to remind us of the patience we need in the pursuit of our dreams. We live in a time when the microwave mentality is rather dominant and instant gratification is the order of the day.

With social media; we see many displays of success; which seemingly appear to have happened overnight. When the reality is these successes were decades in the making. In pursuing our dreams; we must remember to focus on our own journey. Do not allow comparison to steal your joy and peace of mind. When you see other people being successful use it as motivation to continue; for one day your glow up will happen! After nuhbaddi no more dan u!

Use July to commit to being disciplined; focused and intentional. Take an honest and hard look at your habits to determine what is preventing you from achieving your goals and dreams. Examine your mindset and your self talk. Are you really taking steps towards your goals or moving away from them? A period of quiet reflection will yield the answers you seek.

It is my hope that as you embrace the Summer and all it brings; you will be open to the idea that patience is needed in the pursuit of your dreams. You will commit to being the person who is willing to do what is necessary to see your goals realized! Happy dreaming and remember there are two sides to every coin just flip it to get the full view!

So this episode brings a lot of controversy this week because I am going to say somethings that will make mothers grab their pearls and children might just balk at the very idea. I am a firm believer that we should disappoint our parents; if it means staying true to who we are! This doesn't mean I don't love my parents; or appreciate all they have done for me, it doesn't mean I don't respect my parents either. What it means is; I embrace the truth that I am a sovereign being who has a final say over how I live my life. I live on my own terms and I will not live to please people!!

The decisions I make about my life will be for my own good and in my best interest. The advice given to me is what is best for the advice giver and based on their lived experience. I may hear you; but the know that the final choice is up to me. If you feel offended by how I live my life; go sit with yourself and uncover why you are so bothered. 

There are some parents who are like a ball and chain around the necks and feet of their children. Their expectations are laced with failures from their own lives and their children must live out these expectations for fear of disappointing their parents. To that I say DISAPPOINT YOUR PARENTS your life is not their life and the approval you so desperately seek from your parents may never be given to you! So why would you sacrifice your own happiness on the alter of their expectations? Don't do it; it's not worth it.

My hope is that at the end of your life; if you are so privileged to have the time to reflect; you will be filled with satisfaction and content. For you would have lived a life that makes for an interesting story to share with your grand-kids. You would have seen and done it all; whatever all looks like to you! 

In one of my favourite books; The Prophet; Khalil Gibran talks about children and the kind of relationship parents should strive to have. He reminds us that children don't belong to parents. They are the son's and daughter's of life's longing for itself. Though they may come through you and are with you; they don't belong to you. Don't give them your thoughts for they have their own." I love this poem and I am so glad I heard about this powerful book. I believe this with my entire being and I remind myself often that nobody owns us; especially our parents. When I become a parent I don't own my children. 

I encourage each and everyone of you to honestly sit with yourselves; as parents and as children and examine the relationship you have. Parents are you a shackle around the feet of your children? Children do you live to please your parents; striving daily to meet their expectations and seek their approval in everything you? Now is the time to stop it; STOP IT! Let go! Go live your lives so when it ends you can say - I did it my way!!

Jamaican Proverbs are a humorous, sharp, creative way of expressing sensible ideas and a point of view! We don't hold punches and some of these proverbs will have you clutching your pearls! I want to share seven (7) proverbs with you; so you too can impart wisdom to your friends, family and your networks 

1. WEN GOAT LAUGH, EVERYBODY FINE OUT SEH HIM NUH GOT NO TEET.

Translation: When the goat laughs, everyone discovers that he has no teeth.

2. LICKLE BIT A BRAINS CAN GI BIG MOUT TROUBLE.

Translation: A small amount of ‘brains’ can give a big mouth plenty of trouble.

3. CRATCH AN’ RUB CYAAN CURE COCOBEH.

Translation: Scratching and rubbing cannot cure Cocobeh (Cocobeh is a kind of leprosy or skin ailment).

4. WHEN HEAD PART STUNTED, KIBBA MOUT.

Translation: When the head part (brain) is not fully developed, remain quiet.

5. TOO MUCH CALLALOO MEK PEPPER POT SOUP TASTE BITTER.

Translation: Too much Callaloo gives the pepper pot soup a bitter taste.

6. IF YUH NUH HAB HORN, YUH FI KEEP OUTTA BULL FIGHT.

Translation: If you do not have horns, you should stay out of bull fights.

7. YUH NUFFI PUT YUHSELF INNA BARREL IF MATCHES BOX CAN HOLD YUH.

Translation: You mustn’t put yourself in a barrel if you can fit in a match box.

Follow me on all socials: 

Instagram: @theperspectivematterspodcast

Twitter: @perspectivemany

Website: https://theperspectivematterspodcast.com/

Email: [email protected]

Drop me a line and let me know which proverb resonated with you or what is your favourite proverb!

This popular question - "To be or not to be" is as old as time. Yet it is still relevant today; more so as the world pushes us to be ambitious and go after our goals. This week I explore why we have ambitions and where the desire to achieve comes from. Is it born out of good old fashioned fear, or a deep seated fear of being forgotten after we passed on or is it a desire for self expression? I ask poignant questions; which I hope will encourage us to reflect and truly uncover the the source of our desires to achieve - if you we have such desires.

I want us to truly sit with ourselves and examine if we can embrace just being - no striving; no hustling; no goals setting; nothing but to just exist for the pleasure of it. When was the last time; you did absolutely nothing and you didn't feel guilty? Can you allow yourself to just live and not worry about goals; dreams and ambitions; for a short while? This is not an endorsement to be lazy! NOT AT ALL!! I want us to realize that our worth; doesn't come from what we do; and have. You are; you exist and so you matter; your value comes from being you! There is only one you and nobody can do it better!

Some of us wait to go on vacation to relax, refresh and have fun. Others wait for a long weekend; why don't we create smaller moments where we enjoy life because we choose to. When was the last time you stopped to smell the flowers or bought yourself flowers? Can you remember hearing the birds chirp and enjoying nature at play? If we pause and observe we would quickly realize we have countless opportunities to just be! To be in the present; wholly and completely immersed in the present. Access all our senses and truly experience life!

To have goals is simply amazing; the pursuit of achievement offers direction to our lives and gives us meaning. But remember there is value in just being! Taking a moment for yourself is necessary. Taking a pause can re-center you; re-direct you; provide sharper focus; offer a fresh perspective or energize you to pick up right where you left off.

Whatever you decide is totally up to you! Do what is best for you and what offers you peace!

*Website for Podcast: https://theperspectivematterspodcast.com/

**Email: [email protected] drop me a note I would love to hear from you!

Say one wrong thing and you are likely to be cancelled! Utter a different opinion online and strangers want to burn you at the stake. Being politically correct and practicing respectability politics seem to be the order of the day. If you want to be understood; you must seek to understand. So being open to different points of view becomes oh so important. We are all unique and have different experiences but to get a balanced perspective; it is helpful to walk around in the other person's shoes.

It is absolutely ok to disagree; what is not ok - is to be utterly disrespectful. A disagreement is not an invitation for disrespect. Walk away at the first sign of it.  Don't engage if it is going to cost you your peace or leave you open to attacks. It's more important to have your peace than to be right.

If you make an effort to see other points of view and open yourself up to a different perspective; you may actually see a balanced view. So practice being open, be a little bit more willing to hear the other person out. It doesn't mean you will agree; or change your opinion; it just means you recognize there is room for different points of view.

Be bold in sharing your opinions; be open to receiving a different perspective. Remember there are two sides to every coin; just flip it to get the full view!