The Philosophy of Sex

In 2018, the sex toy company Dame decided to advertise in the New York City subway, run by the MTA. 

In September, the MTA's ad agency, Outfront Media, began working with Dame on a campaign that would run in subway cars, showcasing sex toys against neutral backgrounds and featuring slogans that read, “Toys, for sex” and customer reviews.

By late November of that year, however—after Dame says it spent significant money revising and developing ads in an attempt to meet the ad agency's suggestions for approval—the MTA completely and abruptly changed course on Dame's campaign, as well as all other sex toy ads on public transit. The MTA rejected Dame's ad campaign, and publicly published guidelines on advertising that prohibited any “sexually oriented business" from advertising on MTA property.

Meanwhile, ads for viagra and other erectile dysfunction products continued to grace the eyes of countless New York commuters, with no questions asked. So in 2019, Dame sued the MTA for the arbitrary censorship they had experienced. 

This story demonstrates the countless hurdles and discrimination companies within the sex industry face in trying to market and discuss their products.  Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok or billboards, talking about sex and pleasure in a frank and open way on the internet, and in the real world, is extremely difficult.

Alexandra Fine, the Founder of Dame, has navigated these challenges in many creative ways. After graduating with her master's in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University in New York, Alexandra founded Dame Products alongside engineer Janet Lieberman in 2014 with a line of vibrators aimed at closing the "pleasure gap."

Since then, Dame has raised upwards of $11 million and run a number of successful crowdfunding campaigns, leveraging platforms such as Indigogo and Kickstarter. At the company's helm, Alexandra possesses the resilience and energy required to bring light to an industry that many are attempting to hide. 

In this episode, Alexandra and Caroline discuss the various hurdles sex companies face, particularly when it comes to marketing and fundraising. Alexandra shares her experience suing the MTA and advocating for change within the industry. 

Learn more about here Dame here.

Follow Alexandra here. 

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Today’s guest is Dr Avgi Skatepolou, author of “Sexuality Beyond Consent; Risk, Race and Traumatophilia”. 

Avgi maintains that society has become overly focused on healing trauma and needs to reroute its attention to what subjects do with their trauma. She calls attention to a series of challenging questions: Why is sexuality beyond consent worth risking, and how does risk become a way of engaging with the opaque parts of ourselves? And in what ways does eliminating risk remove the potential for erotic transformation?  

Agvi draws unexpected links between ideas that are so often seen at odd within one another; cruelty and care, sadism and ethics, trauma and expansion, and perversion and purity. Avgi writes about ideas typically relegated to the morbid, dark and unspeakable and sheds light on their potentially transformative powers, something she refers to as ‘erotic astonishment.’   

Blending philosophy, queer theory, and race theory with her extensive experience in practice as an analyst, she proposes that accepting the strange within, not to master trauma but to rub against it, may open people up to encounters with the enigmatic, astounding and unique forms of care.  

Buy ‘Sexuality Beyond Consent’ here. 

Follow Avgi here. 

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Back in March, we hosted our first live event with Australia's leading architecture commission, MPavilion. This week, we're releasing the recording with you all.

This conversation explores how design impacts our most intimate moments and how technology can be designed as a catalyst for connection. To help investigate, Caroline invited three panellists; RMIT professor and sex toy designer Judith Glover, founder of sexual wellness brand Normal, Lucy Wark, and author and sex-tech researcher, Jenney Kennedy.

The panel explores questions such as, how should we design technologies related to human sexuality and intimacy? Which sexual dilemmas can be solved using technology and which can’t? Why do technological solutions so often feel like a bandaid for more profound issues of connection and intimacy?

Learn more about MPavilion

Learn more about Judith Glover

Learn more about Lucy Wark

Learn more about Jenny Kennedy

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Host and producer: Caroline Moreau-Hammond 

Editor and composer: Zoltan Fecso

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The Philosophy of Sex, season two is here! In this episode, we’re exploring the complex relationship between sexuality and religion. You’ll hear from three religious leaders who’ve worked hard to reconcile their beliefs and their sexualities; Rabbi Denise Eger, Imam Mushin Hendricks, and Minister Josephine Ipkin. 

These three religious leaders defy expectations of what it means to exist within their respective faiths and show how modern characterisations of religion, and its relationship to sex, can be more rich and complex than we might imagine…

Learn more about Rabbi Eger

Learn more about Moshin Hendricks 

Learn more about Josephine Ipkin

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Host and producer: Caroline Moreau-Hammond 

Editor and composer: Zoltan Fecso

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Has anyone ever called you ‘anal’, or maybe suggested you have ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ issues? Perhaps you’ve been the one to dish out these titles. 

For all these terms, we have Sigmund Freud to thank. Freud is widely regarded as the founder of psychoanalysis, a field of theory and therapy that grapples with the unconscious mind. In modern times, Freud is also often regarded as a woman-hating cokehead. 

His work has been the subject of decades of criticism and but also absolute praise. Irrespective of how you feel about Freud, the pervasive nature of his thinking is undeniable. Many of his thoughts still underpin Western ideas of sexuality. 

Over the years, countless interpretations, including entire sub-branches of psychology, have emerged in response to his work. His intellectual legacy is astonishing; traversing sexuality, dreams, development, and beyond. Poet W H Auden describes Freud as providing "a whole climate of opinion, under which we conduct our different lives." Despite this, popular understanding of what Freud actually wrote and said is rare. 

Today’s guest, Jamieson Webster, is someone who has spent significant time reading, contemplating, and responding to Freud’s work. Jamieson is a psychoanalyst and author based in New York. She has worked as an analyst in SoHo for many years, taught the subject at The New School in New York, and recently wrote Disorganisation and Sex, which explores the endlessly disorienting nature of sexuality. 

Jamieson views psychoanalysis through a philosophical lens, grounding many of Freud’s seemingly abstract ideas. Agreeing with Freud, Jamieson demonstrates that since psychoanalysis concerns things that make us uncomfortable, it will always face resistance.

In this broad conversation, Jamieson and Caroline discuss many of Freud’s central concepts, like the Death Drive, the Oedipus complex, Phallocentrism, and Freud’s often misrepresented views on gender. They also discuss what a psychoanalyst is, and what role they play in helping people understand sexuality. 

Learn more about Jamieson’s work here.

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Hey, hello. Caroline here. After a brief hiatus, we’re back with another episode of The Philosophy of Sex! In this episode, I discuss sex and law with author, journalist, and activist, Bri Lee. 

A lot has changed within Australian consent law in the last 12 months. In June, NSW enacted affirmative consent laws that require people to give and obtain consent before sex. Victoria followed suit a few months later. After a disheartening 2021 awash with allegations of sexism and sexual violence within our political and legal systems, the newly implemented laws felt deeply consequential and monuments. 

When these new laws were introduced, I was simultaneously relieved, overjoyed, and concerned that they are merely a bandaid for a much bigger problem. Law helps us when something goes wrong. In some cases, it can be a deterrent. However, how do we prevent sexual violence from happening in the first place? And can the law be responsible for this?

While consent law is undeniably important, and a huge step forward, Bri and I discuss whether legislation alone can genuinely curb rates of sexual violence. We discuss the need for shifts in cultural attitudes and asking deeply uncomfortable questions like why predominantly men perpetrate sex crimes, and how we respond to this constructively. Bri and I also explore issues of bias, and whether ideas of objectivity serve or hinder the justice system. 

Bri is the author of three books, including Eggshell Skull, a memoir chronicling her time working as a judge’s associate while pursuing her own sexual assault case. She is currently completing PhD in law at the University of Sydney, where she lectures in media law. Bri has been a vocal advocate for improvements to consent law and sexual violence law, particularly in Queensland. 

This conversation happens in two parts. The first, looking at the criminal justice system from a survivor’s standpoint. Bri shares her story and explains the process of pursuing her own case. The second part explores the wider issue of reducing sexual violence in society, and whether the law is an effective method for creating such reductions.

This conversation is about consent, accountability and our many blindspots in working towards a world with less sexual violence. Before listening, please bear in mind this conversation discusses sexual abuse; however, no graphic details are shared.

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The contraceptive pill has an interesting and, at times, ethically dubious history. Biologists John Rock and Gregory Pincus team up to develop the birth control pill, funded by two million dollars from philanthropist Katharine Dexter McCormick and spurred on by contraceptive crusader Margaret Sanger. 

For years Pincus had been searching for a project that might establish his greatness. While there were many possible risks in taking on the pill project, it concerned the area of science he knew best: mammalian reproduction. 

He knew that his progestins (synthetic progesterone) stopped ovulation in rabbits and rats. The next step was to test them on women. And to do that, he would need a doctor who could reassure patients they were safe. 

There had never been a medicine made for healthy people—and certainly not one that would be taken daily. The risks were enormous. Pincus settled on gynaecologist John Rock. Rock was attractive, well respected and most importantly, Catholic.

After teaming up, Pincus and Rock began trials in 1954. State laws prohibiting contraceptive research made it difficult to set up trials, so Rock and Pincus controversially first tested the drug on male and female patients at the Worcester State Psychiatric Hospital in Massachusetts and then on women in the slums of Puerto Rico and Haiti.

The first oral contraceptive pill (Enovid) was approved by the US Food and Drugs Administration on 9 May 1960. It was released in Australia on 1 February 1961 under the name Anovlar.

More than half a century on, the impacts of the pill are remarkable. It’s hard to think of an invention that has impacted women’s position in society more. Women were free of the social boxes and biology that had previously constrained them. They didn’t have to fear unwanted pregnancies and could have risk-free sex, just like men. From this, we saw the sexual revolution. 

Approximately 70% of Australian women of reproductive age employ some form of birth control. On the basis of 2013 data, 27–34% of women used oral contraception. This number has been steady for decades. 

Despite its ubiquity, dialogue about how the pill works and how it can impact women is rare. And as it turns out, its potential side effects aren’t insignificant. The pill has been found to impact the mood, stress response, and sexual appetite of many women who take it. The pill can change everything from how women cope with stress to who women want to have sex with. It’s also been associated with an increased risk of anxiety and depression, particularly in younger women. 

So how does the pill work? What effect does it have on the people who take it? And what run-on effects does this have for wider society?

To answer these questions, Caroline enlisted the help of Dr Sarah E Hill. Sarah is an award-winning research psychologist and professor at TCU in Fort Worth, Texas. Working at the intersection of evolutionary biology, social psychology, and neuroscience, her research is aimed at understanding the role hormones, the immune system, and the environment play in sexual and relationship behaviours, especially in women. Her book ‘How The Pill Changes Everything’ was released in 2019.

Sarah and Caroline discuss the role of evolutionary psychology in helping us understand sexual behaviour, what the pill is and what it can change for those who use it.

Connect with us: @becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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In September 2021, the International Organisation for Standardisation (or ISO) published its first design and safety requirements for sex toys after a two-year project.

The ISO project was kicked off by, today’s guest, Swedish surgeon Dr Martin Dahlberg, who realised he was increasingly performing operations to remove sex toys lodged in people’s rectums.

Martin is a surgeon at the Södersjukhuset Hospital in Stockholm, Sweden. He got his medical degree back in 2011, and has performed several hundred surgical procedures throughout his career. 

Sprinkled amongst them are those that involve the removal of rectal foreign bodies. That is to say, Dahlberg has surgically freed a number of objects from a number of butts over the years. At times, he’s even found himself in the position of operating on the same patient twice.

Dahlberg began comparing notes with his colleagues. In January of 2019, they put together an academic study concerning the prevalence of retained sex toys among the Swedish population. They found that the number of incidences was on the rise, particularly among men.

After reviewing a number of cases performed at his hospital, he found that the rectal insertion of vaginal toys was most commonly associated with major surgery.

While people getting sex toys, and a wild plethora of things, stuck in their butts, has objective comical value, a rise in the issue raises interesting questions around education and regulation that ensures people’s safety. 

Following the study, Dahlberg contacted the Swedish Standard Institute (SIS), a non-profit association that assists in developing standards across various industries. The aim was to add sex toys to the agenda.

Following a two-year project, the standards have now been released. To comply with the new ISO standards, manufacturers of sex toys must use “body-safe” material in the event of contact with the genital and anal areas, use a design to minimise the risk of injury during reasonable and predictable use, and provide sufficient information to ensure people’s safety. However, what effect do these standards have? Do sex toy companies even take the standards seriously?

A statement from Lovehoney Group, the parent company behind We-Vibe and one of the manufacturers that helped develop the safety standard, says it is up to each country’s regulators to enact laws to make the standard mandatory.

So who should be responsible for ensuring the safety of consumers bodies? Governments? retailers? or should customers be responsible for doing their own research? 

Connect with us: @becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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Today we’re talking about sex and technology. The world’s relationship with technology is complex and ever-changing. Dating apps, the pill, and digital mass porn, to name only a few, are technological innovations that have radically impacted our sexual lives and how we relate to each other. 

Technological innovations often inspire fear. Socrates worried about writing replacing oral culture. The hunter-gatherers probably moaned about the advent of agriculture. But who’s to say they weren’t right to moan?

In the 1850s, during the Industrial Revolution, transcendentalists warned how the advent of a mechanistic and technological age could impact humanity. Henry Thoreau wrote during the industrial revolution: “Our inventions are often an improved means to an unimproved end.” However ingenious an invention may seem, it will likely have unintended side effects and even shape who we are as people, in ways that are not always obvious or positive. 

At the same time, technology has also greatly enhanced our freedoms and choices for our bodies. It’s given us the ability to have more orgasms, to have children, to not have children, and to connect outside our usual social circles. Increasingly, it’s assisting in improving how we educate people about sexuality and creating new ways of managing sexual assault prevention and reporting.

So, in light of this, how should we develop technologies that relate to human sexuality and intimacy? What social problems can be solved using technology? Why do technological solutions so often feel like a bandaid for deeper issues? 

The challenges surrounding technology are often explored in black and white. This week Caroline has asked Bryony Cole to help analyse the grey areas. 

Bryony Cole is the founder and host of the Future of Sex podcast, where she explores the intersection between sex and tech. Since the podcast's success over the last seven years, she’s founded Sextech School, a program helping new sextech businesses commercialise. From interviewing owners of sex dolls to running sex tech hackathons, Bryony has been deeply involved in the sex tech industry since the early realisation of its potential value. She is a wealth of knowledge on how the relationship between technology and sex has developed, and how it continues to do so. 

Resources:

Check out Bryony’s work here. 

Listen to The Future of Sex Podcast here.

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me. 

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According to Pornhub data, Australia ranks 7th in the world for porn consumption. With data from other sources suggesting the average age of first consumption of porn is nine, it’s easy to see why porn use has become a contentious issue. So what gives porn its allure? What makes watching specific videos enticing? In light of what porn has the potential to reveal about human nature, can porn ever be merely entertainment? 

Today, to help explore what our porn use says about individuals and culture more generally is Giorgio Tricarico. Giorgio is a clinical psychologist and a Jungian analyst, and a member of the International Association for Analytical Psychology. He is the author of Lost Goddesses: A Kaleidoscope on Porn.

Giorgio argues porn is a complex symbol of our current world and a shining example of Jung’s idea of the 'Shadow' of the Western culture. While many books essentially show its negative sides; the risks of addiction and the danger of damaging the relationship between sexes, Giorgio’s work focuses on porn as a phenomenon of our times, exploring its many colours, trying to capture its inner logic and essence. 

Giorgio and Caroline discuss the social ideas that enabled the proliferation of mass internet porn, what our preferences and proclivities say about our psyches, and what Carl Jung’s idea of ‘Shadow’ has to contribute here. They also discuss what divinity and porn have in common, and the deeper layers of human experience that could be driving porn use.

Resources:

Giorgio’s work, Lost Goddesses: A Kaleidoscope on Porn. 

Recommended reading from Giorgio: 

"Gunther Anders' Philosophy of Technology: from Phenomenology to Critical Theory", by Babette Babich, Bloomsbury Academic

"The End of Meaning and the Birth of Man", Wolfgang Giegerich, Guild of Pastoral Psychology, 2004

"The Sacred Prostitute", Nancy Qualls-Corbett, Inner City Book, 1998

"Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming Our Lives, Our relationships, and Our Families", Times Books, 2007

 "The Principle of Individuation: Toward the Development of Human Consciousness" by Murray Stein, Chiron publication, 2013.

"Consequences of Capitalism: Manufacturing Discontent and Resistance", Marv Waterstone and Noam Chomsky, Haymarket Books, 2021

Connect with us:

@becuming.me

Becuming takes the frustration out of finding the perfect sex toy by sending you personalised recommendations. Check it out at www.becuming.me

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