Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21
• 1:1: https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q1 2022!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Coming soon! Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Do you listen to your intuition?

Do you listen to your intuition? Do you even know what it 'sounds'....or more accurately 'feels' like?

I call my intuition my Spidey senses and they're pretty strong to be honest.

Listening to them and obeying them however, I do sometimes fall down on. Old patterns will sometimes cause that.

BUT I've definitely learned over the years that if I DO ignore them, or override them...there will be consequences.

Your spidey senses are VERY important.

Particularly when making decisions. But if you've got used to ignoring them or haven't listened to them in a while you've got to start getting 'back in touch'.

Your spidey senses, aka your intuition, is essentially your brain and your nervous system communicating with you. That lovely little gap between your conscious awareness and unconscious programmes, memories and patterns.

You sense something somatically before you have a cognitive knowledge of it.

It's a survival strategy that we've always had as a species, protecting us from the tiger waiting in the bushes!

Think about it. If we didn't get that little 'tingle' (or whatever it shows up as for you) we'd put ourselves in danger.

We wouldn't have our wits about us.

We might potentially get eaten.

Or in this day and age...go down that dark ominous alley or into that room of people we don't know.

It's absolutely one of my 'super powers' in my business. I see a problem before it's a problem.

If something pops into my head, there's usually a reason so I like to call it out. Clients and friends are very used to this now.

People aren't surprised anymore if I say 'the spidey senses told me to message you' or 'the spidey senses said to say X, Y, Z.'

I always do it with no attachment to it, particularly when it's with clients, I always say to take it or leave it just in case it's useful, but 99% of the time it's exactly what was needed at that moment. So I've learned to roll with it, even if it might feel silly.

I don't look at intuition or spidey senses as anything 'woo' at all. It's something that's been studied scientifically for years, although difficult to quantify.

We all have this in us.

I mean it's pretty cool and can feel a little bit magical for sure but really It's our bodies way of communicating with us. Steering us, if you like.

It's an incredibly important skill to master. And it is a skill.

Like I say, we all have it, we've had it for millennia as a protection mechanism, it's just that the danger has changed and these days may not actually be life or death..but it might FEEL that way to our nervous system. And also a way to steer us towards what's good for us too.

We often feel something before we think it. That sense to do, or not do something.

You'll have a spidey sense for a yes and a spidey sense for a no. You'll have a spidey sense about saying something or going somewhere, or a particular decision that you have to make, or a person.

The challenge comes with getting to know each signal. So you know what it's trying to say, or the direction it's trying to steer you.

Pay attention to the senses.

What is your gut telling you?

Is there a slight feel of unease telling you to keep your guard up a little bit?

Is there a DEEP sense of unease telling you to run for the hills?

Is there a deep knowing it's just the right thing for you?

Can you get in touch with it around what to launch for your business?

What to keep and what to let go of?

And the people you let in or let go of?

What are your spidey senses trying to tell you?

Is there a familiar feeling that you can pin point in another part of your life from the past? This could be for good or bad. We just need to tune back in.

When Dawni and Abi approached me to go in with them on The Mentorship it was my intuition that said a hard yes.

There were a lot of reasons not to. At the time, I really didn't know either of them very well.

It was also a 3...of women! I had NOT had good experiences with that situation in the past at all.

I could not have trusted them. I could have said, 'ooooh a 3, nope, not going there again' and robbed myself of the healing that has occurred just from saying yes.

I just had a good feeling. I felt it in my gut. My heart said yes. My intuition said yes and it was the best thing I could have done for myself.

They share my values. They share the way I look at business. They share my deep desire to help people and not let them get in their own way.

It's no joke when I tell you how much it's changed old patterns for me around female friendships. Around allowing myself to trust and open up in that way. It really has been transformative and I'm so excited for the work we're going to do together and the way we're going to work together to give the amazing people joining The Mentorship a transformation. To help them heal old patterns and belief systems. We all deeply believe in people's capabilities.

And I owe it to them being in touch with their intuition and spidey senses around bringing me in, and my spidey senses just knowing it was right.

The more you hone this skill, the more it will point you in the right direction.

Remember we're 95-99% unconscious and the brain LOVES you to repeat familiar patterns. Where might you be falling into one that doesn't serve you so well? Where might it be trying to steer you TOWARDS something that's right for you?

Also remember there's a reason it's called a 'gut feeling'.

The clues of what to pay attention to comes through in our language. The gut, heart and the brain are connected. The brain, the heart and the gut all have their own neurons and neural networks.

Here's another example. 'What does your heart tell you' or 'what does your gut tell you'.

And 'I've just got a good feeling about this'.

If you've ever said any of those things, you've connected to your intuition.

Nothing woo about it. It's there all the time, communicating with us. We just learned to stop listening.

We learned to suppress emotions. We learned to do as we're told.

So just start to tune in. Check in with what you feel in your body at certain times of the day. Or when you're doing certain tasks. Or around certain people.

You might want to do it in meditation. You might want to do a body scan. Just ask yourself the question, 'what am I feeling right now, where am I feeling it and what might be driving it'

Get curious.

Make the unconscious, conscious, so you can choose to do something with it.

It's such an essential skill when you can learn to trust it. It's visceral. You feel it.

If you read the autobiographies of some of the most successful people in the world they'll talk about having 'hunches' or use language like 'I just knew' even in the face of evidence to the contrary.

Your intuition usually has far more data points than you on something. It gets to scan all the reserves of your memory banks, past experiences, familiar patterns etc. It's working with a LOT more than simply what's right in front of you at that moment.

So have a think about where you might have been ignoring your spidey senses. And how you might start to get back in touch with them.

And if you've been considering joining The Mentorship, now is the time. We start orientation on the 22nd November.

6 months of real business mentorship with me, Dawni Baxter and Abi Hugo and all the experience that brings. Dawni being the legend of branding, social media, audience attraction and so much more.

Abi of @thewhitethistle the legend of instagram growth and monetising your account even if it's small!

And Moi to tame the inevitable mindset gremlins that get in your way. Helping you overcome stress and self sabotage so you can get your time back and feel more in control.

We bring a wealth of experience in relationship based selling, podcasting, messaging and SO much more and making sure your business is set up based on what YOU want for your life. With YOU at the heart of it. Taking away the shoulds and the things you've been told you're supposed to have and tuning back into what you actually want.

If it's calling to you then we'd love to have you. You can find all the details at https://bit.ly/thementorship21

So check in with yourself, your gut, your heart, your spidey senses... what are they telling you?

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21
• 1:1: https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q1 2022!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Coming soon! Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Why do you struggle to accept support?

Why do so many people struggle to accept support?

This is a biggie and one I can certainly relate to myself.

Not when I was younger, then I usually felt like I COULDN'T do anything without someone's help.

I learned pretty quickly that I would be labelled 'needy', or 'weak' by other people.

Quick trigger warning, I'm going to very briefly talk about my first real relationship which was emotionally abusive. I won't give any specifics but I want to talk about it to help you frame the behaviour. (and if you DO resonate, I really hope it shows you that change and healing is so possible!)

I definitely learned that no one was coming to rescue me during that time. I'd been pretty isolated from my friends and relied on him for everything.

In the year it took me to leave him, I learned that I needed to be strong, that no one else was going to take responsibility for me and I had to build up my own confidence. That happened slowly but it absolutely happened.

But while I can see now that relationship taught me independence and that I was way stronger than I ever gave myself credit for...in the end!! For that I'm grateful.

But the issue was I then wore that fierce independence as a badge of honour and sense of identity. It was something I was very proud of.

But it stopped me ever asking anyone for help, with anything, because it would trigger those feelings of helplessness. Of weakness. (notice I say 'feelings of, not that I was those things!) Of going back to that younger version of me who felt incapable or even a burden.

The desire to feel supported and frustration that you don't. At the same time causing that very to happen by thoughts like 'urgh, i'll just do it myself' or preempting that someone will let you down so you do the thing anyway and then resent it, even though you actually haven't given the other person a chance to prove you wrong and actually let them support you. That's how it would show up for me. It might be different for you.

So it's something I've definitely worked on over the years and was an important behaviour to pick apart, because in many ways it held me back.

This is why awareness is important. The behaviour of not asking for help made total sense to my nervous system, it was the 'safer' option because the alternative was being controlled, manipulated and feeling awful about myself on a daily basis and living in a constant state of hypervigilance...and it's always going to prioritise survival and doesn't have a moral compass about what's good or bad, so I don't judge myself or beat myself up for it one bit.

But that awareness helps me make the changes I want and need to so I can create behaviours that DO serve me now. And to do that, it has to feel 'safe' in your body.

When there's an unconscious programme running around not asking for, or even just accepting support it's a sure fire route to burnout, things taking longer than they need to and you feeling unsupported...even though that's of your own making!

It can be like you're desperate to feel supported...and yet not allowing anyone to support you because you won't ask...and if they offer, your go to reaction is 'no i'm fine'.

So if you can relate, let's unpick it a little shall we?

Think of this from the frame of asking for support. That might be about outsourcing and delegating. It might be about emotional support such as a coach or a community that you're in. Or NOT joining something because you think you won't 'use' the support available. It might be about being able to express your needs for support to your loved ones. Or it might be all of the above!

There are many reasons we might not ask for or struggle to accept help and it will be different for all of us. So grab your journal and we'll go through a few common ones and you can find the awareness you need to be able to make a different choice, should you want to.

So here we go...

You see asking for help, or accepting it, as a sign of weakness, it might even conflict with who you think you are at an identity level. If you identify as the strong, independent one it might feel pretty vulnerable and confronting to ask for help.

But also...You worry about what other people may think. How it might 'look' if you ask for help. What are you making it mean? And what story are you telling yourself about what THEY might make it mean? (This is a particularly big one if you have access to a community and don't want to/feel you can't use support that's available in there)

You don't trust people. Or don't trust people to do things as well as you.

You believe people will let you down so you don't give them the chance to try.

You're used to overachieving and feeling no one will do as good a job as you. Again here it might be a concern around what other people think if you were to ask for help.

You're a people pleaser who struggles to ask for help because you're always focused on others. Or you may feel like you're inconveniencing someone else.

It might make you feel like you've 'failed' in some way.

You might have seen the same behaviour from your primary caregivers and you just learned that you don't ask for or accept help. You will have assigned meaning to it then. What might be that story?

So what might it be for you?

Where does the behaviour make sense?

What could change for you if you accepted help and support?

Would you be able to outsource more? Have a team? Therefore freeing up more of your time. Taking the pressure off.

The bottom line is. It's a learned behaviour. It made sense for your nervous system and brain to wire itself that way based on your unique set of experiences. But good old neuroplasticity means it can be Re-wired. But you have to start with the awareness piece of the puzzle first so you can bring it into the conscious mind and OUT of unconscious autopilot.

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• For more info on The Mentorship: https://bit.ly/thementorship21
• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

What other people think doesn't define you!

What other people think of you doesn't define you. So why do we care so much?

I've not done an episode on this for a little while and it's something I get asked all the time so I thought I would do a little recap on this one.

When I tell people how I used to be, someone who had zero self esteem. Someone who validated themselves by other people's opinions. Someone who was the most negative person in the room, catastrophising, always looking for 'acceptance'...yeeeeesh it was an exhausting existence.

...they don't believe me.

Which is nice!

BUT, if I can heal from it, you can too.

So how do we go about this?!

Firstly it's worth saying, you are absolutely not alone. This is something I see come up time and time again when people are starting or uplevelling businesses or trying to achieve big things.

These common phrases start to rear their ugly heads.

'Who am I to do this?'

'What will people think of me?'

'What if people don't like me or say mean things?'

'What if people tell me I'm wrong...publicly!'

'What if my friends and family laugh at me?'

'What if everyone else is better than me?'

'What if people don't accept me?'

'I don't want to feel excluded.'

The way you feel about yourself is shaped before you're 8 years old. You're an unconscious sponge, taking on everything you see and hear. This could be from parents, siblings, friends, family, teachers, anyone in charge of your care. How attuned you were, how seen and heard you felt, what was going on in your environment. For the positive and the negative.

Remember, understanding this is never about judgement or blame and always about curiosity and knowledge that you have the power to heal and change should you choose to.

It's important to note this though because this is the stuff that will have a big factor in how resilient you are when it comes to other people's opinions of you. How resilient you are to not being 'included'. Or caring where you are in the 'pecking order' of who's more successful than who.

Again, it's not about blame or shame, it's about helping you make sense! If you're not aware of something, you can't change it.

School has a LOT to answer for in the way we feel about ourselves too.

Rejection registers in the brain as physical pain. It's very easy to be triggered by the thought of someone not accepting us, or rejecting us, or telling us we're not good enough….or saying it behind our backs. It's as if your inner child comes right to the surface and you are that younger version of you, feeling it all over again.

So, it makes sense why we might try to avoid it, right?

Until we get curious and pick it apart that is!

First it's about taking a look at whose opinion actually matters?

Something worth mentioning here is that sometimes, someone who is close to you whose opinion matters in many scenarios, might be somewhat less valid in others.

An example might be your parents or a spouse. Their opinion on what you do and who you are in many cases may be important. But their view on your sales page or website with no prior experience or knowledge in that area...less so!

Does the opinion of a stranger on the internet, who is unhappy enough in their lives to comment negatively on yours, really matter?

Does it really have clout?

It's about starting to care what YOU think of yourself. The more yourself you are, the more you live by your values, the more you're not going to care about other people's opinions.

When we understand our own behaviour we can start to understand other people's. The reality is, we can trigger other people. We can unconsciously hold up a mirror to other people.

We can highlight that we might be doing something they wish they could but aren't.

Our success can trigger other people.

What we 'have' can trigger other people.

It's worth asking if that person's opinion has any validity too. Is what they're saying sounding true? Is there some potential helpful feedback in there? If not...discount it! Worth checking in though.

It's being able to discern that sometimes, other people's opinions have nothing to do with us and everything to do with them.

We also need to appreciate it's evolutionary to be accepted. If you weren't it could be life or death.

We can unconsciously cause our own rejection too. If we believe that we will be rejected, or not accepted...that will create certain feelings that will drive our behaviour.

That might be, hanging back. Rejecting before we're rejected. It might be not getting involved in communities but watching other people make connections.

We can essentially create ourselves a fun little self fulfilling prophecy of rejection, thus reinforcing everything we thought about ourselves or what was going to happen through our own behaviour.

Try not to project your thoughts onto other people's opinions.

By hanging back or not getting involved, we become not involved. We're not giving off the message that we want to be involved right? Therefore saving ourselves from what we believe to be inevitable rejection, and creating it at the same time.

The trick is to start to become aware of these things. Again, not judging ourselves for it but being curious about it.

Where does this behaviour make sense?

If you feel tension or anxiety bubbling up, use an emotional regulation technique to wake up the part of your brain that has conscious, rational thought, choice, decisions. From that place you get to talk back, but you have to regulate your emotions first.

If you've been uncomfortable in groups before, how can you find groups to feel safe in and break that cycle? Dip your toe in the water and allow yourself to be accepted. It's even more important if you have this pattern running that you surround yourself with people who support you and have your back. But you have to allow them to.

It's like I said in the episode 'isn't it time you backed yourself'...allow other people to back you until you learn to back yourself. You will care FAR less about other people's opinion that way.

Remember, opinions and thoughts often aren't truth. Other people's and your own. People will always have an opinion on you, the one that matters is your opinion on you.

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• For more info on The Mentorship: https://bit.ly/thementorship21
• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Is It Time To Back Yourself?

Is it finally time to back yourself?

Sometimes that can feel really hard. Particularly when you've spent most of your life believing you're not enough. Good enough, clever enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, enough enough!

We wait and wait to feel 'ready' to do certain things or to take certain opportunities.

We don't back ourselves, often for fear of judgement, failure, rejection, getting it wrong.

We unconsciously feel like those things are just not worth the risk.

But I'm not sure you ever really feel 100% ready to do something you haven't done before.

Something that's the next level.

We're not wired that way. We're not wired for change to be easy because it's doing something thats unrehearsed and unfamiliar so we need to give our brain and nervous system the evidence that it's safe and ok to take action.

Can you think of times you have backed yourself, felt the fear and done it anyway, and it's paid off?

It might be going for a promotion. It might be leaving a job for your own business. It might be saying yes to an opportunity. Anything where you weren't absolutely sure it was going to work out but you put your hat in the ring.

Hopefully you've got a couple of those examples. Equally important is those times you backed yourself and it didn't work out as you'd hoped.

Did you learn something important along the way? Did you get some feedback you wouldn't have had you not put yourself out there? Did you learn something valuable?

The other thing I'm always getting clients to do is play through the fear.

What actually happens?

We often have these big fears, these worst case scenarios...but we actually stop short of thinking, what would REALLY happen if that happened?!

If you make a mistake, what happens? Play it through, is it that bad?

Or if you get rejected with a no, what actually happens? What are you making it mean about you?

But the confidence to REALLY back yourself comes from you constantly delivering for yourself. In other words, actually putting yourself out there to get a result.

I did this recently. An opportunity dropped in my lap where I definitely felt the initial 'i'm not ready' tension.

I felt all the stories around why other people were better for this opportunity than me. All the reasons I wasn't qualified or good enough. That's what our nervous system does.

It's like….hold on a second, this is new, unfamiliar, unrehearsed, therefore it's unsafe and you could literally DIE...so...NOPE! Have all these negative thoughts right here to stop you going for it.

You see this is why i'm always saying the goal is not about never having these thoughts it's about knowing how to navigate them. Understanding why they're there. That they aren't necessarily true the vast majority of the time.

Knowing that this is a growth opportunity.

I promise you those thoughts and feelings hang around a LOT less and don't come up as often when you do this work.

So I felt the fear and did it anyway. I didn't even give myself time to think about it...or think myself out of it, I just said yes!

I just put my hat in the ring. And it's a HUGE ring I have to say.

I backed myself.

I backed myself with the knowledge that even if it was a hard no and they laughed in my face, that was ok.

It didn't mean anything about me, i'd just try again in the future, while being proud of myself for backing me.

But it did pay off.

I sent in my information and got the email saying they wanted to talk to me.

Still feeling the activation, those momentary feelings of 'oh god, they're going to find out i'm not good enough for this'. Remembering they will have had hundreds of options but they wanted to talk to ME!

Again, even if it went nowhere further than that, that's an achievement in itself and absolutely wouldn't have even got that for without backing myself.

But, it paid off. They loved it. They said it was the best they'd seen and they want to work with me.

It still might not happen, budgets and plans change all the time BUT...because I backed myself I know that I AM good enough. For the things I onced believed were wildly out of my reach.

Even if it goes nowhere I have that.

And I wouldn't had I not backed myself.

BUT, I didn't start there. I've learned to do that. I've learned to back myself. As someone who struggled with hugely low self esteem and lack of confidence, i've learned this.

But I also surrounded myself with the right people.

I know there are people in my life that don't 'get' what I do. That's ok, they don't have to. They are people who have a different way of thinking to me, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be in my life.

We just don't really talk about work and that's ok. We have a different relationship. I don't want their fears or ideas of what life 'should' look like to rub off on me and they don't have to.

But the people who DO get it, or want to...cling onto them because they're gold dust!

They are my hype team.

You NEED those in business.

You need those in LIFE!

You may be sat there thinking, I don't have those people right now. That's ok. We go against the grain running our own businesses and not everyone can wrap their heads (or conditioning!) around that.

You go find them. I did!

And I'm in their hype team too.

Be around people who will back you when you don't back yourself, until you do!

Create your own hype team.

You've met some of mine. Some i've interviewed on the podcast. Some I talk about in episodes, my emails or social media.

They are hugely important to me and i'm incredibly grateful to and for them.

One is my hubs, Mr T himself. I'm incredibly lucky to have my hype team so close to home. I know not everyone has that.

Even if he sometimes doesn't 'get' everything i'm trying to do...he backs me.

Most of my hype team are other business owners. They get me, I get them.

They're the ones who will be in a crowded room singing my praises and vice versa.

But I created that.

I didn't start with it.

It makes the HUGEST difference. We all have the odd wobbly day, you need those people that hold the mirror up, remind you who the heck you are. That help you keep going. That help reframe your thoughts and get you back on track. But will equally challenge you!

I'm SO flipping lucky with the ones I have and couldn't be more grateful.

2 of my hype team and I have actually created something together with all of this in mind.

Abi Hugo of @thewhitethistle and Dawni Baxter of @beyond_thedawn have teamed up to create a 6 month mentorship programme. Literally called 'The Mentorship' and we couldn't be more excited.

That's how much we believe in each other and back each other. We're literally in it together now!

We want to create the hype team we wish we'd had for other people.

3 heads are better than one. It's a 6 month programme where you have access to all 3 of us and get to draw on all our expertise to get your business running with YOU at the heart of it. AND have the support of the rest of your cohort too.

Cheerleading, butt kicking, hand holding, the lot.

Stripping away the things you've been told you 'should' be doing or have and getting to the core of what you REALLY want for your business and your life.

We're tired of seeing people struggle. Work themselves to the bone and feel like they're in it alone.

Plus there's a 4 day cosy retreat with us in January to boot!

So if this sounds like a hype team you'd like to be a part of you can find all the details at https://bit.ly/thementorship21 We start on the 20th November so you've only got until then to decide. It's an absolute maximum of 20 people and some of the slots are already gone so if you want to see if it's for you you're welcome to book in a call so we can make sure it's right for you.

Whether it's with the mentorship, an accountability buddy or a group of friends, you deserve your own hype team. You get to back yourself.

It's definitely time to back yourself!

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Are You Exhausted?

Are you exhausted right now?

I'm seeing sooooooooo many business owners feeling it right now.

This lingering 'funk' where you kind of just want the world to stop for a month so you can have a proper break.

But you feel like you can't.

It seems like it's everywhere right now.

I've felt it too at times.

If you've been listening for a while you'll know I'm always talking about your mental checklist.

That little list you go through when you're in a funk before you decide the problem is YOU and have an existential crisis.

So, on mine is, what time of the month is it? What's going on outside my business right now? Have I drunk enough water? What have I been eating? Have I been boozing? How have I been sleeping? Have I been taking my supplements?

But there's one big thing we all need to actually recognise and take stock of at some point.

The covid exhaustion is REAL!

The social media exhaustion is REAL!

The last 18 months have been utterly bizarre and we can't deny that. Just because some of us loved the slowing down that Covid created, doesn't mean we weren't in a perpetual state of some level of fight, flight or freeze stress response.

Our brains crave certainty. We haven't had a whole lot of that recently.

Our brain and nervous system doesn't like change and we've had TONNES of it recently.

Increasing costs of living, not being able to get away, feeling nervous to have a break (whether you're in a job or have your own business!) because it could impact financially.

We've lost relationships because of distance. In some cases that may be positive, in others not so much.

Many of us have lost people.

Many of us haven't known what to do next or what the future holds.

Many of us have been way more sedentary than we would have been before.

Many of us have eaten more than we would have before and have gained a few covid lbs.

Many of us aren't feeling great about ourselves going back into the big wide world.

Many of us are still anxious about being in the big wide world in general!

As much as we slowed down temporarily it has meant in many cases we're working HARDER now. We're on our screens more.

Social media became our method of connecting even MORE and that addiction is now running even DEEPER.

We're all navigating this incredibly weird time. That's going to take its toll!

On your brain, your nervous system, your energy!

And it's entirely possible it might make you feel a little in a funk.

I was talking to Mr T about social media earlier, which kind of inspired this (Thanks Tobes!) We have a difference of opinion on social media for sure.

He's VERY anti all of it. Which makes sense because one of his core values is connection but to WHERE and WHEN you are. I see social media as connection, he sees it as the death of it.

We're probably both right and both wrong.

It's no secret that I can't stand Facey B. I'm only on there for my paid for programmes, in and out, serious discipline not to scroll but I see things sometimes and so much of it hurts my heart.

I feel people's anger. I feel people's fear. I see the bad behaviour that comes from those things. It's toxic in my eyes.

But I enjoy instagram. I know it has it's dark corners for sure, particularly for the younger generation but I find it very easy to curate what I want to see. So I have fun there and can see it as a force for good, if that's what you choose to make it.

But he's definitely right in that people are spending way more time on social media, amplified by Covid I imagine.

We're in there comparing ourselves. Looking for external validation. Getting lost in mindless scroll holes.

Facey B, Whatsapp and Insta went offline for an evening and I saw so many people panic. Or talk about how they used the time, on a Monday evening, to work distraction free.

Something just doesn't sit right here, no?!

Are you ever taking the time to actually allow yourself to switch off?

There's no denying we are addicted to social media, they know that, we know that. I catch myself in it too.

We have to find some self discipline and awareness to listen to what our mind and our body needs.

I can't bang on about this enough.

Even if you're working like a dog, how can you get some balance somewhere?

Mr T and I last weekend literally planned to do NOTHING and it was so needed and glorious. It's so easy to just work, work, work.

Especially if you enjoy what you do.

On top of all this people are beating themselves up for being in a funk!

But people are exhausted and it's no surprise why!

How can you break out of the cycle?

What could you do to even make a 1% difference.

Is that time outside, connecting with someone in person, who can help you get what you need. It's very easy to say 'I can't' but how about reframing that to 'how can I' and check in with yourself to see if that 'can't' is really true. It might be! But it's worth checking right?!

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How Do You Handle Pressure?

How do you handle pressure? This is actually a big question because most of us don't really know and there can be some big clues in there around how we self sabotage and why.

There's a couple of ways to look at this.

What behaviours do you exhibit when you're under pressure?

And how much of that pressure is self imposed and why?

So let's start with the behaviour piece of the puzzle because that's what started me wanting to do this episode.

You know I love calling out certain behaviours and trying to reframe it for the people on the receiving end but also make the people doing it maybe think twice next time!

I put a lot of the unkind, underhand, douchey behaviour that you unfortunately see some people do, whether this is in business or at work, as a direct reaction to pressure.

An ego response. Think of it as an I will harm to avoid being harmed vibe.

I will lash out to protect myself first.

I will make someone else look bad to make myself feel better. Notice the distinction between look and feel there...it certainly never makes anyone LOOK better!

As an example, you're feeling the pressure on a launch, or to hit a certain level of revenue, so you might go steal someone's clients, or badmouth them to others. I call it trying to stand on someone else's head to make yourself taller.

Unfortunately it happens a lot. Which makes me super sad.

Thankfully I haven't heard of it happening to me yet (that's not an invitation thank you...plus you know i'd just call it out as your drama not mine ha!) but I see it happen to my friends all the time and I've also been on the receiving end of people bad mouthing others too. Does nothing for the vibe and you're just left thinking….geeez if they're saying that about them what might they say about me!

There's lots of ways and different strategies that we use to handle pressure but we need to look at them for what they really are, which is internal protection mechanisms. Adaptive responses from childhood or our early experiences.

This is one of the reasons I often liken the online business world to school. It really is wounded inner child stuff being played out on the internet everywhere you look! It's behaviour we might have used at school and sometimes it's as if we haven't learned.

For some people the adaptive response might be to hide and avoid or numb out, some it might be to stand on someone else's head to make themselves taller, it might be to pile on MORE work thus reinforcing the idea that perhaps you're not good enough by creating yourself a near impossible situation where you're juggling too many plates.

I can be very guilty of that one because I've learned I can handle a LOT so I'll keep taking more on and I need to be aware of it and catch myself in it.

Hence why I have 8 qualifications, a full rebrand and website build, app build and launch, 6 month mentorship programme launch with 2 other people...i'll tell you more about that soon, 3 new presentations to create and trying to get the positive pants planner sorted...all happening at the same time. Because I know I can handle it. Doesn't mean I should. But it DOES mean I have to balance that with some serious rest and relaxation. I can do that because i'm aware. I have choice and agency. That makes a very big difference.

So what are your strategies. No judgement. Just curiosity. How do you handle pressure?

It's worth noting that It can also sometimes feel as if the lack of pressure itself, causes pressure.

Which leads me onto the next point. Pressure itself as a self sabotage strategy.

We can be addicted to chaos.

We also may have been rewarded by putting pressure on ourselves when we were younger, think back to exams and revision. Did you cram at the last minute and work your butt off and get good grades and therefore praise from your caregivers? Did you make a connection that the way to get results was to work that way?

We might have piled the pressure on and it all worked out great, thus reinforcing that as something to be repeated into adulthood.

It may be that there's an unconscious belief that if we're NOT busy and under pressure then it means we aren't successful, or people might THINK we're not successful, and therefore not good enough, and therefore unworthy of love.

Phewf!

We do like to go to some deep places in our unconscious programmes don't we.

If we don't cach ourselves in these patterns of behaviour...ooooh we can get ourselves in a pickle.

We can reach burnout.

It might backfire and then the very thing we feared (not being liked) becomes reality because we've been caught out in bad behaviour.

Pressure may show up as perfectionism. Comparison. Overworking. Avoiding. Dissociating from our feelings.

What do you notice?

How do you recognise pressure in your body?

Alternatively it's worth noticing how you feel when you're NOT under pressure. What does that look like for you? Are you able to relax? Or does it make you feel twitchy and anxious?

The important thing is to create the initial awareness. You can't do anything about a pattern you aren't aware of.

Start to notice what you do when you're under pressure. Do you create the pressure yourself? Is someone else creating it?

When do you remember first feeling pressure? Can you think of a time in your life when you didn't?

What might the pressure itself, or the behaviour be allowing you to avoid?

What does it make you want to do?

What DO you do?

Think to yourself, what am I protecting myself from right now?

It may not seem like it's that important but the ramifications for not figuring this stuff out can be BIG. Personally and professionally.

Having curiosity and awareness means you can do something about it and create a different outcome.

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How Do YOU Get Validation?

How do you get validation? What are your markers for feeling validated?

The reason I want to talk about this today is because it's something I talk about ALL the time with private clients and my friends in the industry. I haven't had a rant about it on here for a while.

I'm so tired of the completely random and quite frankly ridiculous metrics that have been plucked out of the air for business owners.

Ohhhhh yes i'm talking about the '£10k months' and the need to label yourself by your income.

Urgh.

Why does it incense me so?

Because it causes people to feel less than. Not just before they've hit six figures, but at every step of the way!

So you feel not good enough before you make six figures. Then for a minute you get to say 'yeay i'm a six figure business owner!'

Then what happens?

You STILL compare to the next level and feel not good enough until you get THERE!

Then it's the 'oh, but i'm not a multi six figure business owner'. And of course you can't be happy until you get there.

Then what?

'Oh but I'm not a seven figure business owner.' So you're not happy until you get there! Then onto the multi seven figures and the cycle continues.

When does it stop?

It doesn't...unless you get a hold of this unconscious pattern of validating yourself by what you earn and remind yourself that metric didn't come from you in the first place.

I would LOVE to find the person who picked these numbers out of the air and give them a good shake.

You are valid whether you make an extra £5k per year from a side hustle or you're at multiple seven figures.

You're doing hard things. You did something yourself, and someone paid you for it. THAT'S AMAZING!

If we all stay in this cycle of not feeling good enough until we hit certain milestones you're never going to live a happy and fulfilled life.

You need to let go of other people's 'stuff' and work from your OWN success metrics!

The amount of people I've spoken to who are earning around £20-30k and are crying because they feel so awful about that is not ok.

Let me put this into perspective...you went and started a business, by yourself, and grew it to a place that a huge amount of the population aren't earning in a job.

You get to feel AMAZING about that because it IS amazing! This stuff is HARD!

The fact that people will feel anything short of amazing because they've earned £99,999 is also bonkers to me!

Would you be earning that in a job right now? Would you have been earning that in your previous profession?

You might have...but the likely answer is no. And if you would have I would like to add in, did you make your own schedule? Did you get to work from home around your family?

We have to stop the madness.

For me my success metrics are can I rest when I need to? Can I work when I want to? Can I work the hours I want to? Can I work where I want to? Do I have flexibility? Can I work only a few days per week? Can I switch up my schedule when I want to? Am I doing something I love? Can I look after my own wellbeing? Can I spend time with the people I want to?

Of COURSE the money is nice. There's no denying that. But you have to look at the bigger picture.

But I also validate myself. I don't allow other people to do that. If they want to, that's up to them and none of my business.

I validate myself by living by my values. By always trying to be a good person. Being kind. Being empathetic. By being human.

You have to understand this random metric for success isn't real.

There are plenty of people who might look down on people who aren't making six figures yet. That's unfortunate. But I promise you, if you're listening to this...those people are not your people. Those people are A holes.

Would people behave like that in salaried jobs? Probably not...it's way more taboo to talk about money in that way. But those people might validate themselves by their job title too.

It's all about hierarchy….but no one gets to tell you where you 'rank'.

Ask yourself what happens when you hit the magic six figures or £10k months?

What actually happens?

Do you get let into some sort of club?

Are you automatically accepted into the cool kids gang?

What changes in your personality?

What changes in terms of how you see yourself?

Will you automatically feel successful? Good enough?

The work needs to be around how you see yourself. Not how you're allowing external things to validate you and your worth.

You're worthy at any level. You deserve happiness at any level. You can find it at any level.

So my question for you is can you recognise how far you've come? Can you allow yourself to objectively take a step back?

It's so easy to get caught up in the hype. Don't allow other people to tell you you aren't valuable until you hit some made up level of success.

What is success to you?

What does it actually look like?

Why do you have the financial goals you have? If you hadn't heard it peddled to you constantly in the online space, would that still be your goal?

It's great to strive for things. It's great to know what's possible.

But it's not ok to shame yourself until you get there.

And also recognising that sometimes not having it can actually be a choice!

As an example, you can know that a seven figure business is absolutely possible for you. But is it what you want based on what you want your life to look like?

At the end of the day you'll sabotage yourself anyway trying to get to a goal that really, unconsciously, you don't want...but the funny thing we so often do is beat ourselves up for not being there...even though we actually don't want to be!

So please, grab your journal and really think about why you want that goal. What are you making it mean if you get it, what are you making it mean if you don't.

Can you allow yourself to enjoy the journey and celebrate all the beautiful milestones along the way? Knowing you're working towards something that is totally possible for you, but you're doing it around your life, your values, your rules and not being there yet does not validate you.

You get to want whatever goals you want. No one else gets to judge them as less than. No one else gets to judge them at all, they're yours!

Keep going, but enjoy the journey.

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Small Changes Mean Big Changes!

Small changes really do mean big changes. The issue we have though is that we often don't notice them to start with.

With any kind of mindset work (by mindset I mean brain and body, nervous system level work) it can feel REALLY frustrating to start with.

You're putting the effort in (and it really DOES feel like effort because you're going against your rehearsed and repeated familiar patterns that the brain likes you to follow, you have to be conscious a lot of the time instead of running on autopilot 95-99% of the time) but you're feeling like the changes aren't coming quick enough.

I've been there. It drove me mad to start with because I felt like I was doing ALL the things and not really reaping the rewards just yet.

But when you think about what you're ACTUALLY doing, it makes sense why it would take a hot minute.

You're rewiring new neural pathways. You're going against what your nervous system believes is 'safe' and going into danger territory. You're trying to work against autopilot which your brain is trying to keep you in to conserve energy.

It's a lot!

But also when we have more of an 'end goal' in mind all we're looking at is the fact we're not there yet. But we're doing all the things!

What gives!

Firstly a big thing I can't bang on about enough is that there really is no 'end goal' there's always another layer of the onion to peel and that's a GOOD thing because you're constantly getting better and better and growing every day.

But when you start to really tune in to the seemingly SMALLER changes that are happening for you it makes a HUGE difference about how you feel about the journey and how you feel about yourself.

And that really is half the battle with all of this working on yourself. The way you talk to yourself, the way you understand yourself, the way you find empathy and compassion for yourself and just stop the self blame and shame cycle.

You have adaptive protection mechanisms built into your system. They served you once, they don't now.

But they are 'warning' systems. They are systems of self protection. Essentially they have your best interests and very survival at heart.

So of COURSE that's going to take some time. BUT, the trick is to really consciously start to look for those small changes and I bet you'll see you've already come WAY further than you think you have.

Start to look out for when you might have blamed or shamed yourself in the past, and you didn't.

Look for the moments where you catch yourself in negative self-talk and course correct it. You start with 'Urgh you're so stupid!' You catch yourself…'Hang on, no you're NOT stupid, you can do this!' Yes your natural instinct was to blame and shame yourself but you caught yourself in that unconscious pattern and didn't stay in it! Don't underestimate how much of a big deal that is in itself. You may have talked to yourself that way for multiple decades and you just talked back! KUDOS!

It could be that you notice something that would normally trigger you, didn't!

It could be that you recover more quickly from being triggered. Or there's more time in between instances of being triggered.

Your good days may start to outweigh the bad ones. Your good moments may start to outweigh the bad ones.

It might be that you notice you're just a bit calmer than you normally would be. Or you catastrophise less.

You may notice an increase in your ability to regulate your own emotions.

You might feel more capable of setting boundaries and do less people pleasing.

You may say NO! When before you would have ALWAYS said yes.

It may be that you're being a bit nicer to yourself in your own head.

Or maybe you've been able to stick to a new habit for longer than you've been able to before.

You may just feel slightly more self assured.

You may just notice you're less 'reactive' than you were.

You might have more capacity to just 'cope' with what life throws at you.

All of this can be difficult to see when you're not looking. So start looking. Start noticing.

I bet you'll find you've made WAY more progress than you're giving yourself credit for.

These seemingly small changes are actually HUGE. They all add up to that moment in the future where you realise how different everything is for you.

When you realise you're not that person with low self esteem beating themselves up believing they aren't capable of doing the things they see other people doing. Looking at them thinking 'why not me!'

You're not that person anymore. You're the person who is confident in themselves and their own abilities. That knows that even if you have a bad day it doesn't mean 'you're' bad. That person who is curious to what negative thoughts, feelings and emotions might be trying to tell you rather than judging them or yourself for being there.

We love instant gratification as a society. We've been conditioned to expect it. I want to champion the small steps and the small changes that happen over time. They're the most sustainable, life changing ones!

So, have a think. What small changes can you notice? Can you see how they add up to the big ones?

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Why You Need A Personal Philosophy For Success

Having a personal philosophy is so important when it comes to your success, living a happy life, achieving your goals and all that fun stuff.

WAY more important than you might think.

So why do so few of us have one? Or have one but don't realise and then they run around being 'bothered' by things or people and not really understanding why.

What even IS a personal philosophy?!

Your personal philosophy is basically your own personal guidelines. Life rules you choose to live by.

Your personal philosophy also incorporates your boundaries. The things you're prepared to put up with, and the things you're not. This is with other people but ALSO, importantly, with yourself.

Your personal philosophy is also made up of your values. It's about what is most important to you.

When you're not aware of what it is you can get yourself in a pickle.

You might say yes to things you don't want to, or worse, things that you actively know aren't good for you.

You might make a decision based on someone else's map of the world rather than your own.

Having, or knowing, your personal philosophy gives you clarity over what you actually want to get out of life.

It's a commitment you keep to yourself. How you want to show up, who you want to be.

A personal philosophy gives meaning and direction, it's what you live by, what you stand for.

Hopefully you can see that having something like this in place helps you make plans and set goals, with YOU in mind.

It takes away the unconscious programming that might usually dictate decisions based on what you've learned as a child, or from society and replaces them with ones more aligned to you. Without all the layers of other peoples 'stuff'.

Being aware of them really helps you understand your triggers and where you should limit your time.

I'll give you a few of mine as examples so you can see how it fits into life and business.

First up, always be curious.

To me this means not just blindly accepting things. Looking for alternative perspectives to get a well rounded view of something. Not just taking something someone says as fact. It's a little bit 'take it with a pinch of salt' a little bit 'there's usually 3 versions of a story, one person's, the other person's and the truth….which is often somewhere in the middle. Curiosity also means not judging people for their views.

They're entitled to their view, it may not match mine but they are entitled to it. It comes from their own conditioning. It certainly doesn't mean I have to be around them. It also doesn't mean I can't have a conversation with them about it.

Doesn't mean I have to agree. It's a very 'seek to understand' kind of vibe and one of the reasons you don't often hear me giving controversial opinions that are hard and fast and unbending. There are some things I feel that way on of course BUT, Even if it's staunchly against my values I can see empathy for someone else's point of view and where it may have come from. Certainly doesn't mean I have to agree, or be around them. I can share my point of view in the hope it might make them think differently for sure but I can seek to understand even if I don't agree.

I don't need to be a part of call out or cancel culture thank you very much.

I can see someone behaving a certain way and think 'hmm, I wonder what X, Y, Z has triggered in them, I wonder what their ego is saying right now'...without the need to get angry or triggered myself. I can also unfollow and block, hooray! As much as we'd like to, we can't change other people unless they want change for themselves.

It also means that I don't judge myself in my business, or in anything else really. As someone who used to beat myself up all the time this is pretty big. I'm always curious as to what might be going on for me. The vast majority of my clients come to me constantly beating themselves up and berating themselves. They're stuck in the self blame, shame cycle so incorporating curiosity is a game changer.

Strive for continuous self improvement and personal growth.

What this means to me will probably make a lot of sense considering what I do and something I say a lot of the time. Stop striving to be a finished product because there really is no such thing. When you always aim for growth, but without it meaning there is anything 'wrong' with you that you need to 'fix' Your Life is just ALWAYS going to be improving and getting better.

That's magical to me! That i'm always going to be better than the day before...even if that's from a good place to start! I would NOT be where I am not without this philosophy.

I would still be the most negative person in the room. I'd still have no self worth or self esteem. I'd still be spending time with the wrong people hoping to be accepted and always coming up short.

I wouldn't have this deep level of compassion and acceptance for myself.

I wouldn't constantly be learning and understanding myself and others more every day.

I wouldn't know how to navigate what I do now, for myself and for others.

When you aim for growth and improvement from a space of just getting better all the time rather than a judgemental I need fixing or I'm 'wrong' place then it's a lot of fun.

I'm literally NEVER bored.

Next philosophy I have is, there can always be a positive to come from a negative if you choose to look for it.

I know some people struggle with this one but I wholeheartedly believe it and live by it.

It may take a little time to appear but I can always find something positive that wouldn't have happened without the negative.

I'm grateful for the challenges life throws at me now because of the other philosophies I've just given you. I approach it with curiosity over judgement and an opportunity for growth.

And my final one, that is probably the one I talk about the most. And I haven't found an elegant way to say it yet so i'm just going with it so if you have kiddos around make sure you put me on mute.

My last personal philosophy for you today is simple, don't be a d*ck.

This goes for me and others. I'm human and sometimes I might feel the tendency to react from ego from time to time. This philosophy helps me in those moments ha! I remind myself that I am not that person and I like to leave people a little better than I found them. Sometimes that's not possible. But in those times this helps me decide to walk away and remove myself from the situation.

I have a pretty low tolerance for meanness and nastiness and rudeness. I just don't see a need.

BUT, For the people who are, I don't judge. It's coming from their ego and their conditioning so I can find empathy for the inner child that needed that strategy to get by in life. BUT, I don't need to be around it and I don't need to react to it.

This isn't about being the nicest or the kindest, like I say I'm human. It's about recognising when it could happen and making a better choice.

So those are a few of mine, I'm hoping that my sharing has given you a few nuggets to start you off on figuring out yours, and seeing why it's important!

I had a lot of fun creating this episode so I hope you enjoyed listening.

So when you're thinking about your personal philosophy, think about what's important to you in life?

What is it that you really care about?

What is absolutely non negotiable in your life?

What really gets your goat in other people?

I would actually LOVE you to share yours with me so tag me in on Instagram @imfranexcell or DM me if you want it to be private of course!

Fx

Show note links:

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1 https://www.franexcell.com/private-coaching/
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back in Q4!)
• Positive Pants Toolkit Subscription (Join the waitlist https://bit.ly/PPToolkitwaitlist )

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• Shop printables and meditations: https://www.franexcell.com/shop/
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Why Do We Wait Until There's a Big Problem When We Could Prevent It?

Why do we wait until there's a big problem to do something about it?

OK, in theory it makes TOTAL sense why we might do this. We might be plodding along happy as larry, or not but not really realising it and not realising we could be feeling better.

We just think things are 'fine'. Until they're not.

Which camp do you fall into in this scenario. The camp who eats well and exercises for the health benefits and longevity. Or the camp who realises, fudge, i've got myself in a pickle, i've gained weight or i've got health issues...I should probably do something about this.

No judgement to be made either way. I used to be in the second camp for sure. It's only in the last couple of years i've done a big switcheroo.

I have mental health tools and techniques...because I had mental health problems. I only found them because I was trying to change something that wasn't working for me anymore.

Now they are tools and techniques I use everyday, so I feel good, to continue healing and to prevent issues in the future.

I only found out about my adrenals and thyroid issues because I went to a functional medicine practitioner because I wanted to be healthier. I didn't really realise there was a problem, but because I went down the preventative route I found the issues WAY earlier than I would have by going to my GP because there was a real problem. Which MEANS, I can do something about it now, without it getting to the stage where it's FAR harder to reverse the damage.

But it got me thinking. Where else in our lives do we simply wait for there to be a problem without doing some simple things to stop there being one in the first place?

I often hear from people who were doing all the things that make them feel good, start feeling good and then stop...because they don't 'need' to do it anymore. Then they wonder why the old patterns come back.

The brain will always follow the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance is the neural pathway that has been rehearsed and practiced the most.

So what do you know makes you feel good?

What do you know causes you to spiral and not feel so good?

What keeps you in a good headspace?

Is it journaling? Meditation? Breathwork? Yoga? Is it singing and dancing round the kitchen?

When you figure out what that is, would you wait until you had an issue to do it? Or would you do it to make sure you didn't get there?

It's easy to think we have to do ALL THE THINGS when it comes to a personal routine but that can be overwhelming in itself. So what would you pick that you know would make a difference for you?

How do you feel if you haven't moved in the day?

If the answer is 'ooooh actually not great' thrn incorporate that into your day. Yoga, dancing, exercise.

How do you feel if you've been caught in a thought loop all day?

Most people would answer 'not great' to that one to be fair so you might want to incorporate a simple journaling technique into your day like gratitude journaling or using prompts.

How do you feel when you've spent a week eating rubbish?

How do you feel when you've not drunk enough water?

How do you feel when you've been isolated for too long?

Why not do something before it becomes a problem?

Some of these make up what I call my mental checklist.

I have a reminder that flashes up on my phone 3 times per day so I can course correct.

Notice if i'm feeling isolated and reach out to a friend.

Notice if i've been on a slippery slope of comfort eating and decide to eat some veg.

Notice if i've missed a couple of days of journaling or meditation.

But essentially it keeps me doing all the things that I know are amazing for my mental health.

It also means I never get stuck in self blame or shame or frustration with myself. If somethings going on and I can't put my finger on it then i'll grab my journal.

But it keeps me in a really good mental headspace. AND has long term benefits. Lots of the tools I use work with the nervous system so it increases my window of tolerance and capacity to cope with day to day stuff.

It makes me calmer.

Less reactive.

I'm human it still happens sometimes of course, BUT if one of these things are off it usually tells me why!

So instead of getting to the point where you're forced to do something about your mental, physical or emotional health, what could you put in place right now to make sure that doesn't happen?

Fx