The Positive Pants Podcast

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How To Find Clarity In Your Business Or Life

Do you feel like you have real clarity over what you want for your life and your business?

This is something that has been coming up a LOT this past week. With my 1:1 clients, with my Positive Pants toolkit members AND in The Mentorship.

So, of course, it inspired me to create this episode for you.

SO many people get caught up thinking they don't have clarity on their ideal client, their niche, the products or services they want to sell, so they just don't do anything. Or they flip flop on their messaging but don't put out the offers to actually work with people because they don't know who it is they want to work with, or how. It's tough. I get it. I've been there.

I believe we've got it backwards.

Of course knowing your niche, your services, your ideal client is all necessary and makes your life so much easier and allows them to self identify that you're the solution to their problem.

But here's the thing. You need confidence in what you're selling. You need to back yourself and your services or you'll find running your business incredibly difficult.

We can look at people and be envious of the amount of sales they make or the amount of clients they work with, not the amount of followers they have.

But if you were to scroll back through their content or posts, you're likely to find something familiar. You're likely to find some less clear and confident messaging.

We all have to start somewhere.

Don't compare yourself at the beginning of your journey to someone way further along, who allowed themselves to flap and flounder their way into clarity and confidence.

The other SUPER important piece of clarity I DO think is important to know as soon as possible, the irony is this piece of the puzzle I see people DO leave until way after they've started but you really do need it at the beginning, is what you want your life to look like.

How does your business fit into that?

How many hours per week do you want or are able to work?

How many days per week is that?

How much time off do you want or need in the year?

How do you want to deliver your services?

What feels heavy and burdensome to you vs light and easeful?

So how do we actually find clarity?

When it comes to niche, products, services, ideal client etc, we start with what we DO know and we do the thing. This is the number one way to get clarity. Try, experiment, allow yourself to make mistakes and get it wrong.

This is why beta programmes work really well where you charge less for essentially the test run. Or to just get your first few clients through the door.

You'll know pretty quickly the kind of people you do and don't want to work with. But you have to do the thing!

I found my first clients thinking I wanted to work with people in corporate jobs that weren't happy. I put the feelers out by talking about what I was doing, asking friends for referrals and got my first 8 clients this way.

Some of those clients I adored and some were more difficult to work with. Through that I realised I wanted to work with people who had a big dream or a big goal. They were FAR more invested in their own results.

All too often I see people think they have to have everything figured out before they take any action. But the reality is, taking the action IS what actually gives you the clarity.

You can spend hours, days, weeks or months trying to 'think' your way to clarity.

You can put up with the frustration, the feeling of stuckness, the feeling like you aren't moving anywhere fast. Or, you can just allow yourself the grace to try and see what happens.

We place far too much concern over what other people will think if we don't 'look' a certain way but the more you let go of that and allow yourself to experiment and just see what happens, the further you'll go…and much quicker!

Another way we find clarity is to create space.

Journal, Meditate, talk it through with people who get it. Allow ourselves to let go of the 'rush' sometimes and take a step back to reflect. Of course a fast track to this space is coaching and mentoring so if you're in a position to get anything like that do it as soon as you can, even if it's just an accountability buddy.

Having someone help you reflect, seeing the things you don't see, challenging your thought processes is something that will absolutely help you find clarity and get moving more quickly.

Next, to find clarity you really have to ask yourself the questions like what do you most want for yourself and for your life? What does it/will it actually look like?

Start with what you DO know. Even if that's simply knowing what you don't want. Knowing what you don't want will naturally lead to more clarity on what you do.

Know your values. Knowing your values is so key to gaining clarity over all the things we've been talking about today.

Next up for the clarity train and a BIG one in my opinion…Cut out the noise and simplify. Choose less than a handful of mentors.

The more voices you have giving you different options and different ways of doing things the more confusion you'll have and LESS clarity.

I see people looking for the answers external to themselves ALL the time when so much of what they need is literally right under their noses.

Tuning INwards. Listening to yourSELF and then getting help to solidify that from someone who has done or is qualified to know how to do what you want to do.

Ask yourself, 'What's the story I'm telling myself about not having clarity right now and what it means?'

People spend so long feeling 'behind' when they are trying to figure things out. But you're only ever really behind if you don't take action or you quit altogether.

You can collect all the data. You can learn all the things. But until you start actually DOING you won't find the clarity you're looking for.

And finally tying nicely into that last point, decide. Decide to take action on A direction and see where it takes you. Be ok with a few detours along the way, that's part of the journey.

I'm always saying in the Mentorship and to my toolkit members, there is a point in the future where this is easy. There's a time you'll forget it was ever hard for you. But that only comes from taking action. Being ok with making mistakes. Failing forward and not making it an existential crisis.

You've so got this!

Fx

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How Are You Rejecting Yourself?

How are you currently rejecting yourself on an almost daily basis?

There are SO many ways we reject our very existence as 'wrong' or 'bad' or not 'normal'. Half the time is painfully loud. The other half it's totally unconscious and so 'normal' to us that we don't even think to call ourselves on it or to challenge it.

It's so rehearsed and familiar to us we believe it's who we are, and how it will always be.

One of the big ways I see this show up is not looking after yourself. This was a BIG one for me. Patterns of eating badly, not prioritising sleep, not doing the things I know make me feel good, not exercising. I've healed this pattern in so many areas and looking after myself is a big priority. It still shows up for me sometimes, my deepest pattern of self rejection is around food.

It can be complex. Because as much as food can be a way to reject yourself, it can also be a learned behaviour around self soothing like it was for me. It can also be due to a lack mindset that you learned in childhood, which it also was for me. It can also be a way of punishing yourself. It can also be worth looking at the 'identity' piece of the puzzle around it. It can also be a numbing behaviour. So it can be a tricky one to shift but the key is to notice it's happening and get curious about what might have caused it to be there in the first place. Our relationship with food is an entire subject in and of itself. So just start to notice your patterns on this one.

Another trap we can fall into around self rejection is being around people who don't make you feel good. A lot of the time I see this it goes back to school. Being one of the cool kids. Wanting to feel and be accepted. We can take part in behaviours that don't make us feel good. We can do things we might not do if we were truly with 'our' people, who accepted us for exactly who we are. Notice if you're around people where you think you need to change yourself to fit in or be accepted. Limit your time with these people and increase it with the people who really get you and have your back. Notice how quickly the pattern shifts and you realise how bad for your mental health it was to be around those people. You do not need other people to validate that you're worth knowing. You are.

It may show up in our numbing behaviours and avoiding or suppressing your feelings. Notice the kinds of things you read and watch. Do they make you feel good or bad?

Not allowing yourself to be supported is a big way to self reject. The idea that if you accept help then it means you're not good enough. Or that you're not worthy of the help in the first place.

Not fully going after what you want from a perspective of not being good enough or unworthy.

Focusing on what you don't have or what you haven't done rather than what you do have and have achieved. Thus reinforcing your 'not good enoughs' and filtering out any and all the evidence to the contrary.

Pointing out your own flaws. What's the first thing you think when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning? Do you look for your wrinkles? Your scars? Your wobbles? Where is your focus? What is the self talk? We need to learn to flip that switch or we're forever going to be reinforcing those negative neural pathways.

All the times you say there's no point trying, you're self rejecting.

Every time you compare yourself to someone else, you're self rejecting.

Ignoring your own intuition and not trusting your decisions is self rejecting.

Suppressing and ignoring your feelings and emotions is a HUGE way to reject ourselves.

We are fundamentally rejecting huge parts of ourselves. Our very existence as not good enough.

A lot of self rejection really is the same as self sabotage, it's absolutely a form of it, but it also differs in that it comes not just from a place of your brain and your nervous system keeping you safe.

Self rejection is about self worth. What you believe you deserve. It's doing the things that reinforce and allow you to stay in those not good enough feelings. They keep you feeling bad about yourself. Whether it's physically, mentally or emotionally.

It's providing yourself the life experiences and evidence that continue to reinforce that negative self talk you bombard yourself with daily.

I used to do this to myself ALL the time. I really struggled to find anything I liked about myself. My behaviour, friends and partners I would choose would all just serve to reinforce it. Amazing how we're wired to do this to ourselves.

We have to acknowledge how long these thoughts and patterns have been around. How long and how many times we've rehearsed them. We learn to self reject as small children.

When there's a relational rupture in our attachment with our primary caregivers we turn inwards because that's safer than the opposite, which is to believe that we are a good person in a bad situation. That's life or death to our nervous system because without our primary caregivers we can't survive. So we turn not getting our needs met to mean I must be bad, and then carry that into adulthood.

You can have incredible parents and still have this occur. You've got grandparents, nursery, school, society, other kids that all contribute to this. It's not about blame. It's impossible to meet a child's needs 100% of the time, particularly when they can't communicate.

So what can we do about it once we've recognised it?

The first thing we can do Befriend your emotions. Be curious about them. Learn to sit with them and be ok having them. Understand what they're trying to communicate to you.

Then learn to regulate your emotions and your nervous system. So many of us are operating from a state of nervous system dysregulation which leads to a lot of our self rejecting behaviours. Learn to crack that and you'll see HUGE changes.

Analyse what and who makes you feel good and what and who makes you feel bad. Look at your circle. It's not about just cutting people off but creating that distance can be really important. It's no good doing it simply because you feel bad and trying to just ignore the feeling.

The consciousness side of it is an opportunity to heal. To be really clear it's NOT about avoiding your feelings on this one. It's consciously moving towards people who make you feel good.

When you take the brain's ability to rewire itself through neuroplasticity think about what each circumstance is reinforcing and wiring in for you.

Think about the fact you're trying to rewire patterns, literally changing your brain…how amazing is that that we can do that!

So simply by being around people that make you feel good about yourself and NOT spending time with the people that don't, you're wiring your brain to feel good about yourself.

Start to consciously go against those tendencies towards detrimental behaviour. Slowly! Start small. This is why in my membership The Positive Pants Toolkit, everything is in bite sized pieces and I'm always encouraging people to just start with 5 minutes. Build from there. But just start with committing to 5 minutes of consciously going against those tendencies.

Acknowledge that nothing is ever going to be as quite bad as it is in your head. You are probably, by far, your harshest critic. Therefore, anything anyone else can do or say is probably not going to be as bad as what you're already saying to yourself.

Start to be honest with yourself about the things you DO like about yourself. If you're feeling brave, pick a few people that you trust and ask them what they love about you. Write them down and refer back to it frequently! Add to it frequently! I end up blubbering my eyes out every time I revisit this exercise. It's seriously powerful.

Recognise you might be rejecting yourself before other people reject you. Think to yourself…what if they don't?

The biggest thing I want you to take away from this is first of all awareness, but second of all that it CAN change. And if you put in the work, it WILL change. I'm living proof of that. Who you are today isn't who you have to be tomorrow.

Fx

Show note links:

• Join Lisa Johnson's Free Masterclass - The 5 things you need to make money online

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

The Most Important Thing In Your Business

The most important thing in your business looks different to everyone, but fundamentally is the same.

I put a poll on my Instagram stories the other day and I was surprised how many of you wanted to hear more practical business 'stuff' from me.

So I thought i'd give you some today, with a Fran twist.

Of course it's with our 'human-ness' in mind because everything I do operates from that perspective. Our unconscious programming and the ways we inevitably get in our own way.

Sometimes it's not because of a deep dark part of your psyche. Sometimes they're very practical things that can be changed, but we just haven't connected the dots to understand that's what is going on.

But I can absolutely give you some of my musings on business specifically. It would be my absolute pleasure.

It's worth giving you a big of contect first.

My career prior to this was 15 years in media sales for some of the biggest print titles in the UK.

I've talked about this before so forgive me if you've heard this already, I handled multi million pound contracts across some of the biggest advertisers in the country for the biggest national print titles. I worked on newspapers, glossy magazines and digital platforms too.

The main parts of my job really were building relationships with clients, sales and negotiations and being an ideas person. That was the crux of it if I simplify it.

I was responsible for managing huge contracts, I created whole magazines, which turned into a portfolio of magazines, from scratch when I was at The Telegraph.

I would be given 6-7 figure budgets to come up with creative ideas to achieve the goals of the client.

I'd also be responsible for coming up with ideas to expand the business and find new revenue generating opportunities and where we might be leaving cash on the table. That's actually one of my favourite parts of what I did then and what I do now. I think of ideas as one of my super powers. I find it very easy to see things from all angles and connect the dots of what might be missing or what might be an opportunity.

I learned a huge amount while I was doing that. I learned about sales (without ickiness), marketing, negotiation, building relationships, business development, all sorts.

I learned from HUGE mistakes that we made when my husband had his business in 2014. I learned from mistakes I made in my first business as a jewellery designer and maker, and the last 4 years in this business.

I know my stuff and it's probably time I owned that. The only people that really see it are those who work with me 1:1, particularly with the VIP half days that I run in person where it's pretty much ALL business focused. Business focus but human centrered.

So i'm going to tell you what I believe to be the most important thing in your business.

It may or may not come as a surprise to know that it's you.

Before you roll your eyes i'll explain what I mean.

Before we even get to the nitty gritty practical moving parts of running a business this NEEDS to be addressed. Which is why we're starting here.

We're laying the foundations so you can create a solid business 'house' that can weather any storm.

If you don't put YOU as the most important thing in your business all sorts of things can happen, and can't happen.

Firstly if you don't think about what you want for your life and how you want the business to run and what's most important to you I promise you're setting yourself up for a long road of frustration and heartache.

You'll be building something that fundamentally you don't really want, or doesn't fit in with the lifestyle that you want.

You'll be trying to build your business on platforms you hate being on, using a model that doesn't actually work for you and what you want your life to look like or you'll just create yourself another job. Often worse than a job because there's so much more emotion attached to it because it's YOURS.

And guess what happens with all this…yep…good old self sabotage!

So you'll be 'trying' and 'pushing' to build your business and wondering why things aren't working.

You are the most important thing too in terms of looking after yourself, because if you're not in a good place physically, mentally and emotionally, your business will probably suffer.

Particuarly if you operate a business model that totally relies on you.

This is why it's important to factor you into the equation from every angle.

So my aim for you from this episode is to grab your journal and really think on these questions.

Do you have support in your business, personally and in the business?

Have you factored in what happens in your business if anything happens to you? If you need time off for whatever reason. Can you take it?

If you step back for a couple of months what would happen in your business?

Are you trying to build an audience on a platform you can't stand being on? Is that affecting how you show up?

Do you have multiple revenue streams in place?

Do you have recurring revenue streams in place that keep coming in even if you don't?

How easy would it be for you to pivot if you wanted or needed to?

What hours can you/do you want to work?

Is your business set up so you can take a holiday?

Is your business set up so you can look after your own wellbeing?

What will bring you joy to deliver to your clients vs what could weigh you down?

What's the big picture in terms of how you get to the income you want to create?

It's really REALLY important to think about these things, they really are the foundation to your business success and longevity.

Most people tend to bypass these hugely important questions and go straight to things like 'how can I grow on Instagram'.

You already know from the last couple of weeks the biggest thing I think can help you have a business that gives you want you want for yourself and for your life is to have multiple revenue streams and recurring revenue streams.

So making sure that you have money coming into your business on a regular basis that doesn't rely on you constantly having to sell more things!

If you missed the Race to Recurring Revenue challenge that my friend Lisa Johnson was running last week then I highly recommend that you check it out. You've got time to catch up and start thinking about these things by attending her Masterclass tonight at 8.00pm UK. You can join at https://bit.ly/franrecurring

In it she goes into the 5 things you need to make recurring revenue online. (If you're listening to this after then just drop me a message on Instagram @imfranexcell)

She knows her stuff and in it she's going to talk about her programme One To Many. You've probably heard me talk about it many times before. I've been a participant, a pod leader, the mindset expert within the programme twice and a partner on it 3 times.

It's everything you need to be able to create yourself a sustainable business model. Create recurring revenue streams, build an audience, write copy, sell, it's all in there. Think of it as business 101 with the dots connected!

You'll get a TONNE of information that you can go and implement just from the masterclass.

But, If you DO decide to join the programme you'll get more than the investment from the course in bonuses from me too as a partner!

You'll have me literally in your corner to guide you through it. Accountability, support, mindset gremlin taming…BOOM!

If you're on my email list you'll have already had a sneak peak of those. You can find them at https://bit.ly/fransOTMbonuses

So you could have both me AND Lisa in your corner. That's a LOT of business knowledge right there. She went from £30k in debt to £4.5m per year in 4 years. I've seen the number of people who get results from her work.

Combine that with the mindset work and my experience then you really are onto a winner.

So the question becomes, have you put you as the most important asset in your business right now? If not, what are you going to do to change that?

Fx

Show note links:

• Join Lisa Johnson's Race To Recurring Revenue

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Is It Really About The Money?

Is it really about the money?

We might THINK it's about the money but it very rarely is.

(I'm going to let your brain ascertain what 'it' is in this context, it could be why you want to start a business, why you stay in your job or want a promotion, something that's triggering you right now when it comes to money, why you want it etc etc)

We might think it's because we want fancy things or the latest apple product or holidays away or a boat.

Whatever it might be for you, It's probably not actually the money you want.

It's the FEELING having that money gives you.

It's the FEELING that having those things money can buy you.

So when we get honest about what it is we're really chasing it gives us a lot more control over it, and how you FEEL about not having it in the meantime.

It actually, more often than not, makes it way more achievable when we're honest about what it is we really want and why we want it.

It means that you can let go of some of the goals other people tell you you SHOULD want and can see the more achievable goals as WAY more attainable so you can actually take action.

Quite often when we have a monetary goal that feels so wildly out of the realm of possibility, yet other people are making it look easy to get, and therefore you feel pants about YOURself because you aren't there yet, our nervous system will get involved big time.

All the gremlins bubble up to the surface because it's not 'safe' for you to take action yet. If you've always lived on the breadline and you suddenly decide you're going to be a millionaire, it's going to send you all the self doubt so you don't take action.

This is why it's important to figure out the underlying programmes that are running.

People think they want money but what they really want is to feel a certain way about their life and about themselves.

What is that feeling you're chasing?

Could you get it somewhere else?

People get blinded in the online education industry by the big lofty promises.

There's nothing wrong with big lofty goals. I love a big lofty goal. If you're honest about why you want it, what it really brings you AND that you don't beat yourself up the entire journey to get there.

The trouble is when you're associating those big lofty goals with your sense of identity and how you validate yourself. You attach a number to your self worth.

So until you hit it, your self worth takes a knock.

It might be reinforcing something you already think about yourself, or it could be causing you to think negative things about yourself and tell yourself a story that you aren't there yet because you aren't good enough.

Particularly if you see other people claiming they have already hit that goal. You wonder why you aren't there yet.

We've been trained as a society to value money. To value wealth. Therefore, if you don't have it you're less than. So we chased it.

But we chase it because we don't want to feel 'less than', less 'worthy', not good enough.

That might be your salary, a figure in your business income.

But actually, even though it's POSSIBLE for you to have a 7 figure business, do you really want it?

Do you want what comes with it?

Might you actually be super happy with an £80k income? Might you be able to live the life you want to with less than that?

We have to start dealing in truths with ourselves.

It's painful to beat yourself up and feel less than on the journey to your lofty goals.

So what are you telling yourself having that money gives you? Physically and emotionally.

What are you telling yourself having that new car or designer handbag gives you?

What are you telling yourself having that money takes away from or for you?

What are you telling yourself having the fancy car or designer swag takes away?

Does having these things give you a feeling of self worth? Does it make you feel validated as a human? Does it make you feel like you'll be more likeable or loveable? Does it make you feel like you'll be less lonely?

Will it really give you that?

What else could give you that?

How could you have those feelings right now?

It's so so important to deal in truth when we're running businesses, chasing goals or figuring out what we want. Releasing other people's expectations, releasing external validation, really figuring out the reality of what our goals are and what's really the most important thing to us.

So What are you REALLY chasing and is it really about the money?

For me when I was starting my business I THOUGHT it was about the potential money I could make. Don't get me wrong I LOVE money but for me, as i've said a million times before, it was about peace, ease and flexibility.

That's MORE important than the money to me. Those are the way I want to FEEL in myself.

I've created that with way less money than I thought I would need to feel it.

I've shifted my goals too. They're actually not as lofty as they used to be.

I don't need them to be!

If there's a way for me to achieve those goals WITHOUT compromising on the peace, ease and flexibility then you can bet your bottom dollar i'll find it eventually.

But for now it's not what I want. I know it's POSSIBLE. But I'm CHOOSING that it's not actually what I want.

I know that it doesn't make me 'less than' or less worthy or less valued as a human being than the person who is hitting those income goals.

It means we want different things!

How much more freeing is that?

The only person who gets to validate my worth is me. And the only person in charge of yours is you!

It's not really about the money at all. It's how you view yourself and your place in this world.

So I would LOVE for you to start looking at your business and your goals from this perspective.

If you've been wanting to start a business or shift the way it works so that you can have more freedom and flexibility then please do yourself a favour and sign up to my friend Lisa Johnsons' famous Race to Recurring Revenue challenge that starts today (21st March 2022)

4 days to see things differently and shift your perspective on what's possible (you only need a maximum of an hour per day) You have until 3rd April to complete it and she gives away tonnes of prizes too.

I believe everyone has a recurring revenue stream or two in them.

People challenged me on this last year because I always say to consider my DMs on instagram open for the duration for brainstorming!

Some people came into my inbox saying 'I really can't think of a way to create a recurring revenue stream with what I do or what I want to do, and I haven't had one yet where I've not been able to come up with something.

Mine are my SOS! Programme, The Positive Pants Toolkit app and community, The Mentorship that I run with Dawni Baxter and Abi Hugo and I also have some print on demand products on amazon and 1:1 retainers.

I can be out and about and get pings of payments into my bank account, it's glorious! It means even if I have to take a step back I can. Anyways, If you're an avid regular listener you already know this…and if you're new here…hi, sign up to the challenge!

You can join the challenge at https://bit.ly/franrecurring

Imagine what your life could look like with an extra £500, £1000, £5000 or more per month.

Not just the things you can buy with that, but how would that make you FEEL?

Fx

Show note links:

• Join the Race To Recurring Revenue with my friend Lisa Johnson: https://bit.ly/franrecurring

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How Can You Take A Step Back When You Need To?

How can you take a step back in your business when you need to?

There are SO many reasons you might need to take a step back for a minute in your business, but how can you do that and not risk having no income or that all the hard work you've put into your business will go to waste?

This is something I've been learning first hand after getting Covid back in January. Thankfully, as an Enneagram 6 who is all about looking at every potential eventuality and being prepared for it I was covered.

But there are many people who aren't so lucky. BUT, you can start to implement some changes right now that will really put your mind at ease if anything were to happen.

Back in January, literally as I was about to go into the launch of The Positive Pants Toolkit I caught Covid.

I felt dreadful. At first I thought it was just a bad cold and it just felt worse because I hadn't had so much as a sniffle in over 2 years.

But then those pesky 2 little lines showed up on my lateral flow. I was very lucky that I only tested positive for the 5 days but it really knocked me for six and quickly turned into Labyrinthitis.

Labyrinthitis, if you haven't heard of it, is a cross between vertigo and tinnitus. Basically your brain feels like cotton wool, your ears are ringing all the time and you can get very dizzy or feel off balance which can also make you sick. Kind of like motion sickness.

And since then it's become very clear that I have long covid.

All the fun times.

If you've been listening for a while you'll know one of the biggest things I do is always checking in with myself and my body and asking what I need and doing my best to give it to myself.

That can be tricky when your body has been screaming rest and sleep for 2 months when you're trying to run a business.

So, I've been doing the bare minimum for pretty much the whole of 2022 so far in order to do what I need to do to recover.

Which is rest, relaxation, naps, a slower pace, spending time doing gentle exercise, going with my energy when I have it and not beating myself up for the inevitable crash.

It's felt like one step forwards, 2 steps back a lot of the time.

There are so many other reasons you might want or need to take a little bit of a step back, maternity, other illness, burnout, the state of the world, family circumstances, grief, all sorts!

The reality is, things are different when you are running a business to if you have a job with paid leave, be it sickness, maternity or compassionate. Which I don't think is a bad thing at all when you weigh it up with the flexibility and freedom and ability to live life on your terms in return.

So how have I been managing to do the bare minimum for this long and what did I have in place to make it easier, and possible for me to do so?

The biggest answer to this is simple, I've worked hard to create recurring revenue streams in my business.

I have been able to do the bare minimum which amounts to probably all in all a day or 2 per week, AND….still have money coming in.

I have 4-5 recurring revenue streams at the moment. I have payment plans from 1:1 clients. I have the payment plans for The Mentorship programme that I run with the amazing Dawni Baxter and Abi Hugo. I have my membership, The Positive Pants Toolkit app and community and I have a gratitude journal and notebook on Kindle direct publishing.

And the good news is my friend Lisa Johnson's notorious annual Race to Recurring Revenue challenge is back on the 21st-24th March so you can learn how to do this too. I'm super excited to be partnering with her again.

Over the 4 days she's going to help you figure out what types of recurring revenue streams are best for you, there's a few! The 5 step system she uses with all her clients to help them add recurring revenue to their business, there have been over 3000 of them now! She's going to let you know the biggest mistakes people tend to make when it comes to adding recurring revenue, so you don't have to make them and what you might already have, either created or in your noggin, that could make you recurring revenue right now so it's not to be missed.

You can join through my partner link at https://bit.ly/franrecurring.

Now, full transparency I don't love a challenge. I've sat in on many of them at the beginning of my journey and it felt like they were all mouth and no trousers and it drove me bonkers and I'd feel like I'd wasted my time.

I have done this challenge several times now and it's just not like that. Lisa gives real value! The energy and support is off the scale and over 2,500 people joined on the first day and it's not even on until the 21st March.

All you need is around an hour per day, to watch the live and do the exercise, for 4 days.

There are other things you can do outside of recurring revenue like scheduling the break and batching content so you still maintain your presence online.

You can figure out what your bare minimum actually looks like in terms of client work, content etc, etc and see how you might be able to cover that.

Making sure that you have help in your business, like a VA for example. It might be asking a member of your community or another business owner to do a 'takeover' in your groups or communities.

Making sure you have an out of office with a clear way to contact you only in emergencies, or even have your VA contact details and then they decide if it's an emergency and requires you. Having a VA manage your inbox can be a game changer for calming the nervous system if you're having some time off so you don't feel like you might miss opportunities.

Automating what you can.

Thinking about how you can plan for less time in the business and still maintain your presence? Yes it might have a short term effect on your engagement but what's more important?

Having recurring revenue has been the biggest game changer for me. It's given me more freedom, more time, more flexibility and more peace of mind.

I'm sure there are lots of other ways but this is what i've been doing whilst showing up hasn't been so easy but the biggest thing i'm grateful for has absolutely been setting up a business model that has multiple streams of revenue and recurring revenue.

So hop on into the challenge because you have absolutely nothing to lose and might come up with a genius idea that really lights a fire in your belly.

It doesn't matter if you have an established business or you're brand new! I wish I'd had this training before I started my business, I might have made some very different decisions, and I certainly would have made less mistakes!

I'll be in there too and you're MORE than welcome to hop into my instagram inbox @imfranexcell and brainstorm with me. I did that with people last year and I find it SO much fun coming up with ideas and where people might be leaving money on the table. So come play with me! The link to join is https://bit.ly/franrecurring In my opinion it's more important than ever to have recurring revenue in your business or even as a side income. It's time to think outside the box and put yourself first!

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

What Can I Do When Things Feel So Heavy?

I've had conversations with so many people recently when they're saying, 'What can I do when things feel so heavy?'

First, we of course have to acknowledge that what's going on in Ukraine is absolutely devastating. Many of us feel like we're watching on, helpless.

It feels heavy.

Particularly if you're a highly sensitive person or highly empathic.

I know it's definitely shown up for me over the last week.

So let's first of all just try to meet each other in our human-ness.

No one's going to get it 'right' and please everybody. It's not possible. So first let's try and acknowledge that the vast majority of people are probably trying their best.

When there's big, heavy feelings involved it can be tricky.

It might feel like confusion. A stuckness. Not knowing what to do.

You might feel like you want to lash out (fight mode). You might want to just hide away (freeze mode). You might want to just busy yourself with other things (flight mode)

There are a lot of physiological things that can happen for people when big feelings are present.

You don't know anyone else's history, trauma responses and strategies or ways of trying to handle things so please try not to judge other people in times like this.

We all handle big, heavy emotions differently based on our own individual physiology. It may have been safe for you as a child to feel and express big emotions. It may have been incredibly unsafe for you.

There's no judgement to be made either way. A big majority of people fall into the camp of not being able to express big feelings. So they suppress them. Most of us were taught by society, family, teachers, maybe even friends that emotions are weak. That they are inconvenient. That they are negative things and you shouldn't have them, let alone express them.

So no wonder so many people are feeling overwhelmed and shut down. But we don't need to add our judgements onto that too.

You might be feeling deep sadness right now. You might be terrified about what this means for the future.

You might be feeling guilty because you don't know how to support.

There are a whole host of beautiful messy emotions that might be going on for you right now. And that can feel very heavy and draining.

It's really not my place to tell you what to do or not to do in this situation, I can't! I'm figuring it out for myself too. It's hard to know which way to turn and what is actually the most helpful thing to do. I started with a quick google search in my local area and I found a treasure trove of people who were sending all sorts of helpful things that people need the most right now. Air bnb have waived all their fees for people in Ukraine so that's a way to get money directly into the hands of families and individuals who are there right now. There's people shopping on Etsy and searching for businesses based in Ukraine and you can buy products and message them that you don't expect it to be sent, or simply buy digital products. These are some of the things I'm doing, what you feel called to do may be totally different. Do what's right for you.

But, even though I can't tell you the 'right' thing to do in terms of how you can support people in Ukraine, I CAN absolutely tell you how I'm supporting myself through these heavy feelings and try to help you make sense of some of the thoughts and feelings. That IS my area of expertise.

I'm doing more of what makes me feel good. The old faithfuls.

For me that looks like nature, movement, Heartmath, using my Sensate more, using my breath.

I'm taking extra time to notice what's going on for me. Is my breath shallow, am I holding tension in my body?

I'm taking time to read.

My gratitude practice is amped up.

I'm really listening to what my mind and my body needs and not judging that.

I'm allowing the feelings to be there. I'm naming them. I'm finding where I feel them in my body and not trying to suppress them in any way.

I'm taking extra time and effort to reach out to and speak to or see the people I love.

I'm allowing myself to be quiet when I want and need to.

This weird idea that's out there that you should have it together all the time drives me nuts. The idea that ANYONE has it together all the time. It's an unachievable ideal. We have to learn to let go of it. It's not realistic. It doesn't matter how much you know about the mind, you are first and foremost a human being and we are emotional beings.

The idea that you should just instinctively know exactly what to do in a situation like this…let it go!

Judgement of yourself and others around how they handle this situation…let it go!

Do what YOU feel is right based on YOUR situation. Remember there's always another way to look at things and you have zero control over how someone decides to see what you do. Zero.

To one person seeing someone selling something and sending all profits to charities supporting Ukraine I've seen people say it's performative and greedy.

I've seen others fight back and say the exact same thing is generous and kind.

Not everyone is going to agree. It's totally unavoidable. There are so many variables.

We can't control what other people think of us. So please try to have compassion for yourself for not knowing all the answers. For not having it all together all the time.

So if you're feeling heavy right now, I'm with you. Allow yourself to feel those beautiful feelings. Take it as softly or slowly as you need to. Allow yourself to be a human.

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Is It Really 'Not Working'?

Is it really 'not working'?

Firstly let's talk about 'it' in this context. I'm talking about 2 things really, one is your marketing and business efforts and the other is the inner, personal development work you're doing.

I hear SO often people come to me and say 'It's just not working, something has to change' and I always find when I dig a little deeper, that there's a common theme when it comes to something 'not working'.

Any ideas what it might be?

You're expecting instant results.

You're not giving something the time it needs to 'work'.

But there's something a little deeper going on here too.

All your unconscious programming is what's causing you to not give it the time it needs.

You're LOOKING, albeit unconsciously, for things to not 'work'. And then making it something you think is fundamentally wrong with YOU.

Does this sound at all familiar?

So the way I talk about this to clients is often to imagine yourself on an island and you want to get over to another island. It's not my analogy but I have NO idea where I first heard it!

So you're on this island and you start building a bridge made from wood to get over to the one you want to be on. But then you decide it might be better if you built it in brick so you start building that bridge next to it. But then you decide it might be better to build it out of stone, so you start that one. Then metal so you start that one.

And you end up with several different bridges all about the same length. But no closer to getting over to the island you want to be on.

But if you actually put all those bridges together it would stretch all the way and get you where you want to be.

If you keep building new bridges you're never going to get where you want to go.

So have a think about what makes you quit each bridge.

What are the thoughts and feelings associated with each one?

Are you looking for the 'quick fix'?

Are you telling yourself you're not capable?

Is it a sneaky form of self sabotage that keeps you thinking you're moving forwards but really you're distracting and denying yourself the success you deserve?

So this could be jumping from course to course, strategy to strategy and not being consistent with any of it.

Feeling like you're missing pieces of the puzzle when really you just need to take the time to implement. But you're quick to decide it's 'not working' for you.

On the other side this could be not being consistent with any of the tools you're using for personal development and just jumping from thing to thing. Meditation, Mindfulness, journaling but not actually allowing the consistency to do all of the magic rewiring that happens.

All of these are great but you need to choose something you will stick to. That fits into your life.

When we don't get instant gratification in the form of the results we're wanting, it's easy to think it's 'not working'.

But play that through. What could happen if you stick with it?

What could happen if you kept doing that thing?

What is the story you're telling yourself about why you think it's 'not working' for you?

Strip back the practical, I'm not seeing results yet to reveal the unconscious belief.

It's really easy to convince yourself you're doing all the right things, but are you really?

Are you allowing things the time they need to start paying dividends…or are you flip flopping from thing to thing and not getting anywhere.

One of the ways I see this show up is having the information you need but still chasing more, from different voices. The underlying belief might be that you think you're 'missing' something that is the thing that will make it happen for you.

You don't need more voices in your head. Trim down who you're following and listening to and focus. Allow yourself to actually do the work.

Be honest with yourself.

Be conscious.

There may be things that don't work for you, sure. But can you be super honest with yourself and say that you've done everything you can to make it work?

Are you switching again as a subconscious avoidance tactic?

So when you've already bought the course or paid for the mentor, make sure you do the work before you seek the same information from someone else in an attempt to find the 'missing piece'.

The missing piece is usually the nervous system and mindset work. Get the support you need that will help you actually do the work. Make sure you have accountability and people who will lovingly call you out. Be truthful with yourself over your motivations for looking for more strategy or a new 'hack' or 'trick'.

It's all just being marketed to you because marketers know this! They know you're looking for instant gratification. They know if you don't get it and they market a 'missing' piece of the puzzle, or the thing that without paying them you just don't know and therefore will never be successful…that you'll buy.

But they also know you'll find yourself in exactly the same situation after buying their stuff too.

So sense check yourself. Are you really missing a piece of the puzzle that's going to finally get to where you want to be. Or do you just need to keep building the same bridge for a while?

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

What does 'enough' look like?

What does 'enough' actually look like for you?

This is so relevant in ALL areas of life but what got me thinking about it specifically was a conversation with a client around the drive for more perpetually leaving you in a state of nothing ever being enough.

One of the messages I'm always trying to break down in the online industry is the whole '6 figure business owner' chat.

The idea that our income is a label.

Of course there are times it might be necessary to talk about it depending on what you're selling but it's become this buzzword that runs SO much deeper than that.

Unconsciously the message we're taking on is that if you're not making six figures yet, then you're not good enough.

This idea really drives me bananas. It takes all context out of the equation.

It doesn't take into account what YOU need, for YOUR life, or what YOUR drivers are for having a business and what YOUR metric or version of success is.

It leaves ALL of that at the door and basically tells you your business isn't good enough, ergo, YOU'RE not good enough, until you hit that six figure number.

(If you're in a job you can absolutely relate this to that as well. Your salary being directly correlated to how good enough YOU are.)

But here's the thing…

What happens when you get there?

You celebrate for all of 5 minutes…and then think 'but i'm not going to be good enough until I can say MULTI six figures'

Then you hit that, then what?

Beat yourself up until you can say seven figure business owner? Then multi seven?

Where does it stop?

When do you feel 'good enough'?

When will you actually allow yourself to acknowledge how amazing you are right now? And how amazing you already were?!

This obsession with growth is really toxic. You might want to coast and maintain it once you get to a certain level. Who said there was anything wrong with that?

If your version of success is flexibility and being able to have total control over your schedule, where you are and what you do. That might not fit into someone else's version of success and where you 'should' be.

If someone makes you feel 'less than' for where you're at. Or like you're not good enough because you're not at a particular income level or job title…that person is not someone you want to be around.

They aren't someone you should allow into your energy.

Your income does NOT relate to how good enough YOU are.

Of course there are always blocks to work through to get to where YOU want to be. Of course. That's why I have a business here right?

BUT, the biggest thing is that your goals are actually YOUR goals. Based on what you want for yourself and how you want your life to look.

NOT where other people tell you you 'should' be to be validated as a human being. To feel enough.

Be really consciously aware that these messages are not yours to take on. Understand it's totally natural that we do, but take a step back and go hang on a minute…do I actually believe that?

Would I want my best friend to believe that?

Would I want my child growing up believing that?

It's also worth thinking, if your friend had an £80k per year job, or even £95k….would you think they weren't good enough?

It really is a toxic way to be viewing this. Running a business is the most amazing thing in the world but it also has its moments where it feels super hard. That's totally natural.

But to take on these ideas and always be needing 'more' while feeling not enough is never, ever going to make you happy.

If you have to grow every single time you launch something, or every year you're setting yourself up to feel not good enough. You're setting yourself up to feel bad about yourself.

But in that moment, removing all context to the situation. Removing all other factors involved in a launch or a financial year. Looking at everything with emotion and feelings instead of rational, logical thought.

It can cause you to lose sight of the fact that wherever you get to in that launch, or in that year that you've achieved amazing things that so many other people wouldn't back themselves to do.

You're freaking amazing. Own it!

Whether you're bringing in an extra £10k per year in a side hustle, £30k per year, £95k or you're bringing in 8 figures.

Please don't lose sight of how incredible you are.

Don't allow your income to be how you validate yourself as a human. Don't allow your income to dictate how 'accepted' or 'acceptable' you are as a person.

Trust me, if you're in a room full of people where you're only allowed to be there because your audience is a certain size or your income has got to a certain level and if it dipped down you wouldn't be 'allowed' in the gang anymore, that's not a room you want to be in…please turn around and walk out of that room right now because it's never going to make you feel good.

There's so SO much more to you than that.

What is it that YOU want?

How do you want to FEEL?

What is actually 'enough' to YOU?

What is actually the most important thing you want this business, job, side hustle to bring into your life?

What does having it GIVE you?

Surround yourself with the people who make you feel more than good enough just as you are. Who will back you and cheer you on for the smallest of wins.

And…Spoiler alert, you're already enough. You always were!

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Who Said You Shouldn't Rest?

Who said you shouldn't rest?

Who let you think or believe that resting, taking 'you' time, or actually getting enough sleep was a negative thing?

Really sit with that for a second.

If you've been with me a while you'll know that so much of our behaviour is driven by things that were never our thoughts or beliefs in the first place.

They were never ours to take on.

But we do, because we're human, and we often take them on before we have the brain development to even question whether it's true for us, or if there might be another truth available to us.

Hustle culture has a huge amount to answer for in this respect.

It demonises rest.

Gives you the message that if you're not hustling (ergo, if you're resting!) then you're not trying hard enough.

Then you're lazy.

Then you're not made out for success.

That you aren't now, nor will you have success in the future.

The messaging is rife, it's toxic and in all honesty it's dangerous.

And, something that is now the polar opposite to how I live and plan my life now ha!

That definitely wasn't always the case. I bought into it most of my life.

Particularly in corporate. If your boss thinks you're not busy, if you don't have just that little bit too much on your plate then obviously you aren't up for the job. Aren't up to the task at hand. Certainly not that you're just super efficient or anything like that ha!

I'm no stranger to hard work. It has been drummed into me since I was a child too.

I saw my Dad working all hours at his job.

So you learn that success, or making a decent living, can only come from working your butt to the bone.

Late nights. Bringing your work home. Never ending to do lists.

And you don't question it.

My driving force in life is peace, ease and flexibility.

That doesn't mean I'll win at that every single time, it doesn't mean there aren't times when a little hustling is required.

But it does mean it's what I value above all else. I love money don't get me wrong…just never to the detriment to my peace, ease and flexibility in life.

It also means it shapes the decisions I make. The things I say yes or no to.

It means that I'm clear on what fits in with those values and drivers and what doesn't AND if I compromise on them too much I know I'll get myself in a pickle and will be annoyed that I didn't listen to my spidey senses.

I still occasionally get this wrong when sometimes the thing you're saying no to, to be able to say yes to peace, ease and flexibility, is oh so shiny! But I definitely learn valuable lessons if that happens.

It also means I know when in my diary I'm going to need to put a little extra rest time in or block out my diary from 'peopling' to recharge the batteries.

It really helps me shape the life I want to be living.

I always block out my diary from Xmas eve, through the whole festive season and the first 2 weeks of January. That's a given.

BUT this year I've realised actually I want the week in the lead up to Christmas off too so i've already blocked that out too.

I know after a year of supporting other people this is my support to myself. Proper time out. And what better time than when other people are doing the same thing…easy win!

There are times when I know I'm launching too so I need to do a little more hustling than I usually would, the odd evening or weekend, so I'll block time off after that too. Or if I'm going to in person events I know I need a little recharge time. (where are my fellow extroverted introverts at?!)

Three times per week I'm in the gym or pool for the mornings and then I work from the attached manor house bar which is super luxurious and quiet and I get WAY more done in that time than I would at home.

If you've been following my instagram you'll know I've not been well for the last couple of weeks and it's taught me some really valuable lessons.

Slap bang in my launch for The Positive Pants Toolkit app and community I caught Covid. It turned into Labyrinthitis which is no fun at all, it's an inner ear infection that's a cross between vertigo and tinnitus. Basically it feels like your brain is made of cotton wool and like you've been out clubbing all night boozing too hard and standing too close to the speakers.

It's annoying.

But the only way to get over it is to surrender to it. Nap when your body is telling you to and take advantage of any little energy bursts, but know a crash is probably going to come right after.

It would be SOOOOO easy to be frustrated when you have all these plans in place and you can't do things the way you wanted to. And I've definitely had moments of that because I'm human and it's disappointing to put all that hard work into something and not be able to put everything into it that you thought you would. Your feelings are always valid. But you get to course correct from that place of acceptance, surrender and awareness

I could have stayed in the frustration that this thing I'd worked up to for MONTHS to launch something I was so proud of and tried to push through it but it only would have made me worse.

I talked about this in my email to my list last week. So I thought I'd dig in a little deeper to it today because it's actually really important to talk about our unconscious programming around rest because I see it get people into a far worse situation than they would have been had they just leaned into the desire for rest.

We have to watch out for what we make rest mean.

A few examples I hear that trip people up is often around the belief that self care is selfish.

Another is the phrase, 'no rest for the wicked'. The idea that you have to carry on even when you're tired.

Another is the suggestion that if you have 'time' to rest then it means you're not successful. Because busy-ness is unconsciously directly related to success in your mind, or the mind of others.

I had to unlearn all of this too.

It's RIFE in both the corporate world and the online business world. That perception is everything, therefore you MUST be busy in order for others to perceive you to be successful. And it's such utter rubbish. In my work I have to help people undo this programming all the time! People come to me desperate to get out of the perpetual stress and burnout pattern and learn how to actually feel safe taking rest and looking after themselves.

I had to re-learn how to listen to my body too.

If your body is telling you you need rest…you should probably listen.

If it's telling you that ALL the time I would absolutely go have a chat to your GP and make sure there's nothing else going on there!

But when you don't listen and you ignore the need to rest, you're just going to head for burnout, your body will FORCE you to listen and it'll be far worse than if you'd just adapted in the first place.

So next time you find yourself in a position where you feel like you really need a rest or a break. What happens if you actually GIVE yourself that.

What's the WORST thing that could happen if you allow that?

I basically slept my way through my launch and still hit my goals. I've also realised through being ill how much time I actually NEED to spend on my business every week vs the story i might be telling myself.

Sure if you did the bare minimum EVERY week you'd probably struggle to grow and perhaps hit your goals, BUT…you CAN do it and I bet your minimum it's way less than you're telling yourself.

Take some time to really notice your relationship to the hustle.

What are you making it mean if you do or don't hustle? Or do or don't take time for rest and time off?

Are you making a direct correlation between your busy-ness and lack of rest and how successful YOU feel or you think others think you are?

Call yourself out on the BS my love. Time to get honest with yourself…and go have a glorious power nap if you need one! Might go have one myself!

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://bit.ly/thementorship21 (Next Cohort June/July 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Don't Stay Stuck In Learning Mode!

Are you stuck in learning mode?

Chasing more strategy and 'how to' knowledge but never actually implementing.

Or dipping your toe in the water and deciding it's not going to work for you and giving up?

Are you overwhelmed all the time with the sheer amount you're telling yourself you need to learn BEFORE you can take any action?

I get it.

I've been there.

The thing that a lot of people won't tell you is a huge amount of it is just unconscious strategies.

Your brain and your nervous system are always trying to protect you and keep you in the familiar. The already rehearsed. No moral compass or analytics into what's 'good' for you or 'bad' for you but just what's already tried and tested.

So it's going to feel hard to take action and do new things to start with, that's a given.

But what if the strategies go above and beyond that.

What if the strategies ARE the behaviours that are keeping you stuck not because it's trying to keep you in your comfort zones but BECAUSE those behaviours are the rehearsed.

BECAUSE those patterns are safe in your body.

If your nervous system is used to chaos and overwhelm it's going to try to repeat that, and not trust when things are easy, balanced or calm. So it's going to do it's best to keep you in that behaviour, in that state.

What if stress is the familiar pattern? What if stress is what registers as safe in your body? Again, probably not going to trust things that make it feel easy.

What if 'lack' be it time or money is the familiar, safe state of being to your nervous system? If you have an opportunity to be out of lack, what might happen?

Good old self sabotage.

Being stuck in learning mode is another strategy. It keeps you in consume mode and out of action mode. Safe, right? If you're not taking the action you need to then you're going to stay nice and cosy, safe and warm in the familiar.

The 'doing' is 'future you's' problem.

But there comes a point, and I see it ALL the time, where you get frustrated and start to question yourself.

You've jumped from course to course, training to training, membership to membership and you're sick of it.

You're overwhelmed because your world is too noisy and you're not allowing yourself to actually take the steps forward.

It's not your fault.

But it's something not enough people are talking about because they know that when you figure it out, you might not buy!

And the marketers want you in consume mode, thinking that their exact system is the missing piece of the puzzle that if you only follow their exact steps then you'll have everything that you want.

You've been duped.

You don't need more strategy that's just going to leave you more confused and overwhelmed.

You need to learn to regulate your emotions and rewire your nervous system for safety.

That's the missing piece of the puzzle.

That's the piece so many people aren't telling you.

That's the 'magic bullet'.

It's just the truth is a lot less sexy than 'hit your first £10k month' or 'make 6 figures in 6 months'.

So you stay stuck. Consuming more and more and not moving forwards.

But the reality is, you already know all the stuff. You need to implement.

You need support, accountability and the ability to regulate your nervous system.

That's it.

That's the truth.

But the truth is that takes a little bit of time…the less sexy part!

It's less sexy because we're wired as humans for instant gratification. And that's what so many marketers will sell you.

And you're left feeling flat. And not good enough. And lacking trust in yourself.

It's not your fault.

People figure this out in their own time. It hurts my heart but it's so true. It's often when people realise just how much time, money and heartache they've spent chasing something, when what needed to happen was for it to be 'safe' to take action.

Learning to create safety in your body and regulate your emotions and understand your behaviour is a freaking super power.

Combine that with self awareness and you're unstoppable!

But people will let you think that all you need is their exact 26 step process and you'll be on your way. But it's not the truth.

I've spoken to so many people over the last couple of weeks that I've been launching The Positive Pants Toolkit and they're tired.

They're burned out by the rollercoaster of hope followed by guilt, shame and hopelessness.

They're burned out by the constant consumption when what they need is support and this little superpower I keep talking about of being able to regulate your emotions.

It's, in my opinion, fundamental to being a business owner. It's fundamental when you're trying to climb the corporate ladder, it's fundamental in life.

Your emotions drive your behaviour. Your unconscious programming dictates your thoughts that lead to your feelings which lead to your actions and lead to your results and the loop continues.

This sounds dramatic but I'm so so sick of seeing people fall into the trap of more and more strategy but then sabotage any progress because they don't understand the real reasons they're holding themselves back and then beating themselves up for it.

Strategy is amazing, of course, everyone needs strategy and there are some things you need to know, you can't get around that BUT in my opinion the MOST important thing is learning this stuff.

Learning to understand your own behaviour to the point that you have nothing but self compassion for yourself.

Where you're able to experiment in your business and allow yourself to make mistakes without making it mean there's anything negative, bad or 'wrong' about you.

To increase your resilience to the point nothing really phases you.

Sure you'll get triggered, things will happen that are out of your control, you'll have bad days and down days, you're a human, but the frequency and duration go way down and your capacity to cope goes through the roof.

It's exactly why I created The toolkit app and added the community. It's SO hard to do on your own. BUT it's also about not getting stuck in consume mode.

If you can find 5-10 minutes per day to use one of the tools in the app that's enough to start rewiring your brain and nervous system.

You don't have to sit in front of hours of content. Just 5 minutes per day is enough to get started and when you decide you have more time or want to go a little deeper the categorised podcast episodes are in there for you to help you understand your behaviour on a deeper level and create that all important self awareness.

Then it's a monthly group call where you can get personal coaching from me to keep you moving forwards and out of stress and self sabotage.

I hear you. You're tired. You've been working SO hard. But, whether it's with me supporting you in The Positive Pants Toolkit, someone else, a book on the subject, or just starting to try one of the tools I'm always banging on about like meditation, EFT or journaling.

What if you just stuck with all the information you already have, all the strategy you already know and just try working on the inner stuff for abiti and see how much further along you can get.

What if you get rid of the confusion, the overwhelm, the shiny objects and just start there.

If you choose to join me in The Toolkit as a founding member, today (Monday 7th Feb) is the last day to get in for £32 per month and take advantage of the founding member pricing and bonuses of a 15 min 1:1, in person meet up in the spring and to become an ambassador.

I hope you relieve the pressure for yourself a bit. You can do this. I believe in you.

Fx