The Positive Pants Podcast

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Clearing Out The Old To Make Way For The New

Let's clear out the old to make way for the new shall we?

Sometimes life just needs a little shuffle up to clear out the stagnant energy.

All too often we HUGELY underestimate how these things build up and create a huge amount of issues for us day to day.

Because it seems too obvious, as is often the way, we just ignore it.

Clutter in our surroundings, our digital lives and what I call 'mind clutter', those recurring thoughts and issues that just take up space without resolution, really has a profound effect on our own energy.

On our ability to 'show up' in the world.

It can cause us to procrastinate, feel overwhelmed or irritable.

It has an effect on our ability to work and our decision making processes because even though we think we can ignore it, it's there niggling away in the background.

That pile of receipts we need to sort, the paperwork we need to file, the dust bunny on the floor we can see in the corner of our eye, our email inbox, our desktop…urgh.

When you really take a second to look at this it makes perfect sense that it would have a big effect on you day to day.

There have been many studies into the effects of clutter on a person and they showed that it increases the stress hormone cortisol.

Over an extended period of time this is then creating a long term sensitivity to stress. Meaning your capacity to cope starts to dwindle and shrink.

You're hardwiring stress into your brain and body so this is of course going to affect what goes on in your day to day.

Let's be honest it can feel like sensory overload too sometimes.

It can often show up as a feeling of knowing something is wrong but not being able to quite put your finger on it.

But it's really not just in your physical environment.

It's more and more important these days to clear out the old in your digital environment too.

Your computer, your inbox, the apps on your phone, closing your tabs!

It's also important to look at your emotional environment.

What's taking up headspace right now? What are the thoughts playing on loop? What are you avoiding that's taking up mental capacity?

It might feel a little daunting thinking about where to start. The trick is to just start!

It may take a little time and it's not always going to work to get it all done in one go of course BUT when you realise the huge effect it can have on your emotional wellbeing, your productivity and your health then it'll give you the motivation to keep going with it.

You're going to feel happier, calmer, more in control.

You won't be living in a distraction zone! All these little things are taking your attention, consciously and unconsciously. When they're gone you'll be more focused.

You'll feel better about yourself too.

You'll feel like you're winning at adulting.

When we feel like we're literally walking through a to-do list of things that are never getting prioritised it can really give off a sense of failure. Of not being capable and competent and then that follows you into the rest of your life.

Doing this exercise of decluttering your life allows you to clear out the mind clutter.

It clears out the energetic clutter allowing new and better things to flow in.

It helps you make better decisions.

It will increase your creativity.

There are so many benefits to doing it but it's just one of those things so many people put off. I do it every few months and I'm about to do another big clear out in the next couple of weeks.

It's easy for me to do now, because I did it that first time and really paid attention to the results. So it's a no brainer to do it again and again.

Often when we're in a slump or feeling meh this really can be a simple way to shift that.

You just need to look at feng shui for about a second to realise clutter is a no no.

The belief is that clutter literally stops new things from coming to you. It stops energy flowing.

If you're even mildly on the woo spectrum of curiosity you know how big that is. You're messing with your flow!

If you're distracted by ALL THE THINGS, how are you going to focus on what needs to happen to move you toward the things you really want in your life?

So as the warm weather starts to draw to a close, have a think about where you could start with your decluttering.

What takes up the most head space and causes you the most frustration?

Is it your physical environment? Your digital one? Your emotional mind clutter?

Which can give you the biggest shift if you focus on it first?

Where can you give yourself an easy win?

Could it be your desk draws? Sorting that paperwork?

Might it be organising your desktop or creating a filing system for your emails?

Give yourself an easy win, get that dopamine hit and let it drive you to sorting the next draw or cupboard.

Take it room by room, drawer by drawer.

Another thing I love about decluttering is finding all those lost hidden treasures you've forgotten about too!

If you want the biggest effect to be on your work, start with your office!

I've said it many times before and I'll continue to say it. Don't ignore the things that seem too simple to have a big effect. They are the things that can give you a huge transformation.

Let's go on a little visualisation tour for a minute.

Close your eyes and allow yourself to take a minute to create a picture of what it will be like for you when everything is clean and clear and there's space for the energy to flow (as long as it's safe to do so of course!)

Allow yourself to visualise and think about how you'd feel in your body and in your mind if your space is clean and clear.

What does it feel like in your body as you walk into your work space?

As you walk around your house.

What does it feel like to wake up to clean and clear spaces and go through your morning routine?

What do you notice in your mental clutter when your space is clear?

How do you feel about yourself knowing your physical environment is clutter free?

Now imagine you sit down at your computer in a space that inspires you and feels good.

You open that computer and your inbox is clear and filed. Clutter free! How does that feel?

You think about your to-do list and you actually feel organised. How does that feel? Do you feel in control? Can you feel focus?

Your G drive, trello, click up or whatever system you use allows you to clearly see what needs to be done.

And then you get to work.

You can pause and stay in the visualisation a little longer or you can come back to it.

How did that feel?

It really can be that simple.

Huge profound shifts can happen from taking a little bit of time to clear your physical space, your digital space and when it comes to your emotional space and mental clutter you can start to use journaling, meditation, brain dumps.

There are tonnes of tools I talk about all the time, most of them tucked neatly in the Positive Pants Toolkit app too of course.

It can feel daunting so don't look at the whole mountain, just the next step.

As part of this process, when you're wanting things to change or trying to bring something new into your life it's so helpful to do an audit of what's taking your energy away from it.

Is it people in your life? Products or programmes you're running? Habits you have?

Think about what you're holding on to that doesn't 'spark joy' for you anymore.

I'm off to plan my decluttering and auditing now too so please do DM me on Instagram and let me know if you do yours!

Fx

Show note links:

• Book your Enneagram Essentials call bit.ly/enneagramessentials
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How Are You Wiring Your Brain?

How are you wiring your brain?

Digging into another one of my FAVOURITE topics today.

Rewiring your brain and nervous system.

It's SUCH an important subject and something I'm always talking to clients about. I mean…it's exactly what I help them do!

One of the things I encourage people to start with is simply to be able to think in the moment, 'what am I wiring in right now?'

I even made it one of the wallpapers that we create in my Positive Pants toolkit membership every month to make it even easier to remember.

You're constantly reinforcing neural pathways. Until you do something different. Then you can intentionally, consciously create new ones that serve you better.

Your wiring has been created from your own life experiences. From your upbringing, social groups, society, school, culture, what you're watching/reading. It's all helping create how you're uniquely wired.

Understanding neuroplasticity is a game changer when you're wanting to change things.

Even simply knowing it's possible to wire yourself for the behaviour or thought process that you want is enough to give you hope and motivation to put the effort in.

Because it is effort.

It takes time, make it easy on yourself.

You're intentionally trying to go against your brain's way of conserving energy and your nervous system's way of keeping you safe.

It doesn't happen overnight. It can happen quickly!

Sometimes you'll have an experience that forever changes the way you look at something. Can you think of a few times that's happened?

When you totally surprised yourself, or did something you didn't think you were capable of and then it stuck?

When you've shown yourself evidence to the contrary of what you originally believed to be true…and then you can't unlearn it?

Neuroplasticity is your brain's ability to adapt through new experiences.

You have the power to create new neural networks for the way you WANT to feel, think or behave.

Isn't that incredible?

And exciting?

It means wherever you're at right now, isn't fixed.

It's changeable.

But it starts with conscious awareness.

This is why I talk about the enneagram all the time because it's an amazing way to get started with conscious awareness of your own motivations and behaviours.

So what are you wiring in on a daily basis right now?

How do you start and finish your day?

How do you look after yourself?

Does the thought pop in to do something that's good for you and you ignore it and do the thing you know is going to make you feel worse in the long run?

Don't blame or shame yourself for this. It's totally natural and you've also got your own internal protection mechanisms at play, along with the brain and nervous system's desire to keep you in the familiar. The rehearsed. It's all about keeping you safe, alive and using up as little energy as possible in your day to day processes. It's keeping you unconscious.

So when you start making conscious choices, that's when everything can change for you.

That looks like meeting your own needs. Is your body crying out for rest? How can you give it that? Does your body need healthy food? How can you give it that? Do you need human connection? How can you get that? How else can you look after yourself like you would someone else?

It also looks like knowing the difference between your body's actual needs and your ego's!

Your ego will tell you you need the junk food, or to not exercise, or you just need to binge watch a couple of episodes of your favourite Netflix show and then you'll get back to what you needed to do.

When you're assuming the worst about someone's intentions, what are you wiring in?

When you're seeking the negative in a situation, what are you wiring in?

You have to learn to tune into yourself. Most of us have shut down that part of us since we were kids. Guess what helps you get back in touch with yourself? Yep….consciousness. And patience. Add some curiosity to the mix and you're really on to a winner.

If you're going through a hard time quite often your ego is going to try to pull you deeper and deeper into that pesky pit of despair.

That's what you're wiring in, until you shift it up.

How many times has it been that you do something DIFFERENT and that's what gets you out of a slump?

It's really easy to start to use our tried and true numbing techniques. That might be Netflix binges, doom scrolling, online shopping, substances, food. Whatever it looks like to you. It's REALLY easy to slip into.

With any of these behaviours the relief is short lived and very swiftly followed by a fudge tonne of shame that makes you feel even worse. And that's what you're wiring in.

I know how hard it can be to do what's good for you when you're feeling bad. So come back to this question. 'What am I wiring in right now?'

What neural pathway am I cementing as my path of least resistance?

The answer is likely to be shame, self loathing, guilt, feelings of not being good enough.

Whereas if you do even a small bit of what you know is good for you. Like going for a walk, even when you really don't want to.

Or making a healthy dinner instead of a takeaway.

Exercise, even if it's just 10 minutes.

Going against our ego's instincts and doing what we KNOW is good for us.

What are you wiring in then?

You're wiring in self love, self trust, knowing you ARE good enough, feelings of deserving and likely you'll feel better too. Winner.

A few of my favourite ways out of what I simply like to call 'human moments' are all the things you hear me talk about all the time.

Journaling, meditation, walking, movement, exercise, EFT (Tapping) , going outside and putting my bare feet on the floor, mindfulness, gratitude, speaking to friends. And more recently I've discovered a big love for paddleboarding. I find water very very regulating so I always know that going for a swim or getting out on the river is going to really shift up my mood.

It's all working with your brain and nervous system. It's wiring you for safety. It's wiring you for the positive. It's wiring you to take care of yourself. It's wiring you for self-worth.

So as you go about your day today just ask yourself, 'what am I wiring in right now?'

Fx

Show note links:

• Sensate discount offer
• Moonbird
• Muse
• Stefan Chmelik interview
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Think You're No Good At Meditation? Try This!

Think you're no good at meditation?

Given it a go after hearing about all the benefits but just couldn't get into it or 'silence your mind'?

Decided you're just not cut out for meditation?

You're not alone.

However, it's worth saying you've probably been spun somewhat of a yarn in terms of what meditation 'should' look like.

The point is not to simply 'silence your mind'. That's nearly impossible as a human, especially at the start, so no wonder you struggled!

The point is to focus your mind. Notice stray thoughts and send them on their way and come back to focus instead of going on the endless loops that we so often do. It's also to allow space for any insight to come through if that's what you're looking for.

You're creating new neural pathways for focus, attention and concentration. You're also creating pathways that allow you to be more in touch with your own bodily sensations, your emotions and for creating and allowing for some space in your life.

Handy tools to have as a business owner…or just in life let's be honest!

Our brains have been trained to be distracted, no wonder we have a hard time focusing on deep work. Our attention spans are the smallest they've EVER been and signs are that's not changing any time soon.

You also need to remember that meditation is a habit, and just like you wouldn't expect to lose 2 stone going to the gym once or twice you can't expect to nail enlightenment or inner peace on your first go!

You also might have simply tried a form of meditation that just isn't best for you!

What? Not all meditation is good?

There's a lot of nuance in the answer to that question.

If you're practicing a form of meditation that is causing you to ruminate on your thoughts or exacerbate them and then causing you MORE anxiety, then that form of meditation is not bad, it's just not good for YOU!

There are several reasons it could feel difficult to meditate. One could be things like ADHD. (Even though it's widely recommended to be super helpful for ADHD…it can feel more difficult to start with. Again, nuance, not everyone is the same)

Another can be when your nervous system doesn't register stillness and quietness as safety. Its baseline could be more chaotic. This is super common and something I help people with 1:1 and in my SOS! (success over stress) programme.

Our nervous system is wired in childhood and there are SO many reasons it can register as not safe to someone's nervous system. There's nothing 'wrong' with you, we all have to navigate different wiring.

There are SO many different types and ways to meditate. I was talking to my Dad when we went paddle boarding the other day and we figured out fishing was his version of meditation.

So let's have a little look at some of the types of meditation that are out there and see if there's something you'd be keen to try. I'm also going to give you some of my favourite tangible tools to try too.

Mindfulness meditation is one of my favourites and something I'm qualifying in to be able to teach. I'll do another episode on the neuroscience of mindfulness soon because it's been 'mainstreamed' so much that it's easy to ignore, like so many of the tools and modalities that really work on a scientific and neurological level. The other thing I love about mindfulness is you can do it in bursts of a few minutes throughout your day. It doesn't demand so much time. You can start with waking up your senses. What can you see, hear, feel, smell or taste? What sensations can you feel in your body? What can you look at with more focus and detail than you have before.

Guided meditation is a great place to start, and I still love it now. Guided meditation is where you're literally guided by someone else in the recording or in person. There may or may not be music but it's about being guided through the practice by someone you can trust and can calm an 'am I doing it right' mind.

Silent meditation is a great way to tune back into your body. Noticing your sensations. Noticing thoughts and emotions that might come up. We've been so disconnected from our own bodies for so long that it takes time to recognise the sensations for what they are and be able to listen to the messages your body is always trying to communicate. If you've struggled with meditation before, this one is definitely more tricky.

Visualisation is a form of meditation where your focus is on an image in your mind's eye instead of your breath or something else.

Movement meditation is something I got into when I struggled with my meditation practice. There are lots of different ways to practice movement meditations. Tai Chi, Qigong, mindful walking, and many forms of yoga. Kundalini yoga in particular. This is such a good thing to try if you fall into the camp of struggling to switch off or be still.

Sound baths is a form of meditation. Whether it's gongs, singing bowls or something else. I love a sound bath and actually went to one for an hour and a half last week. Glorious.

Breathwork is an incredible form of meditation, there are some forms that are totally fine to do on your own but breathwork is best performed with a practitioner. You may also need to check with your doctor that it's suitable for you because some people it's not. For example if you have a pacemaker or heart problems. You can however have really profound experiences and trauma releases with breathwork. You can also potentially panic which is why it's really worth working with a practitioner who can teach you what to expect and what's safe.

Heartmath is one of my favourites. Technically not a meditation but very close and has even more benefits. Like using the breath to balance your nervous system and increase your window of tolerance and heart rate variability. I'm a licensed heartmath practitioner so if you'd like to explore this one with me just drop me a message.

Sensate is also one of my favourtie tools if you struggle with meditation because it uses sound, vibrations and also works directly with your nervous system. If you haven't listened to the episode of me interviewing the inventor Stefan Chmelik I highly highly recommend you do. I also have a discount code for you as a partner. Lots of my clients use Sensate now and absolutely love it.

Moonbird is a new company I've been working with and I love what they're doing. It's a tangible breath pacer so it makes lots of breathing exercises that much easier. If you're like me and struggle to follow visual breath pacers I think this is a game changer. It breathes in your hand like a baby bird and you simply breathe with it.

There's lots of other types, zen, vipassana, vedic and lots more.

So, I hope I've given you a little food for thought about trying to give meditation another go if it hasn't been a great experience for you previously. If you're a seasoned meditator I hope you will geek out on any of the tools or techniques I've mentioned that you don't use.

Always remember what's behind the intention to do something. If you want more focus, attention, concentration, less stress, more emotional regulation, for my brain geeks if you want a thicker prefrontal cortex or corpus callosum leading to better communication between the left and right hemispheres of the brain…then I hope you enjoy some of my suggestions.

Fx

Show note links:

• Book an Enneagram Essentials session https://bit.ly/enneagramessentials
• Follow my new account https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandexcell
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

What IS The Enneagram?

What is the enneagram?

You've heard me talking about it a bit by now and I came out of the closet last week on it being a super secret weapon that I've been keeping up my sleeve for years, reserved for private clients and people I spend time with in person.

I even started a brand new shiny instagram account for it because I think it deserves to stand on its own and I want to make sure the people following it are engaging with it and looking to learn, as there are 9 types and I know when people find it they'll want to find their direct information about their number which is much easier to do if it's all in one place.

So I've gone back to being a proper newbie over @enneagramandexcell (see what I did there…cheeky cringey play on my name, coz you can excel with the enneagram…anyhoo!) over on Instagram and i'm even going to get down with the kids on tiktok so please do come show me some love, i'd really appreciate it.

Come join me and my 45 followers over there because we're going to have a lot of fun and exploration.

So what is the enneagram and why do I think it's so great?!

At its most basic the enneagram is a personality profiling system.

If you've ever been fascinated by Myers Briggs, VIA, Strengthsfinder, Disc profiling, Human design or any other system that helps you understand yourself you will love the enneagram.

But it has a twist.

With most personality profiling systems (apart from zodiac and human design) they are movable beasts. They shift and change as you do and with the context with which you answer the questions.

For example, your Myers Briggs might be different if you answer thinking about work or within a friendship group context.

Once you're an adult your enneagram number won't change. Regardless of the context. It's not as simple as pigeon holing you into one number either. There is a spectrum of healthy, average and healthy within your number.

There is also your social stance to consider (I won't go into that today but there are 3 social stances within each number, make sure you're following @enneagramandexcell where i'll go into these things more)

And then you have a stress number and a growth number AND potential wings too.

So it's pretty in depth.

But what actually is it?

The Enneagram is essentially a modern integration/combination of a number of ancient traditions and philosophies grounded in psychology. It was originally put together by Oscar Ichazo.

It uses an ancient symbol with 9 points. These are the different personality numbers.

The other thing that is different with the enneagram is it's not simply about behaviours. It's about unconscious motivations. It's about WHY you do what you do.

All those things that frustrate you about yourself or other people become clear when you understand your enneagram.

Those things that really bother you and don't seem to bother other people start to make sense.

Why certain things trigger you starts to make sense.

You begin to understand your own, and other peoples', behaviour on a deep level. With this awareness comes self compassion, compassion and understanding for others, self acceptance, AND most importantly the ability to change and grow through that awareness.

It's all about ego structure, ego consciousness. Unconscious programming and unconscious fears and motivations which drive behaviour. So you can probably see why I love it and why I use it and why it's helpful in my work.

It tells you if you're driven by head, heart or gut, whether you're falling into healthy, average or healthy versions of your personality type. It gives you clues for when you're veering into stress territory and also when you're in growth.

It helps you figure out why some things feel really hard for you and others feel easy. And why you can get frustrated with other people when you think it 'should' be easy and it's not.

All the clues are there and it's an incredible, incredible tool for self awareness which is exactly what you need to create any change in your life.

Using the enneagram (and a core reason why I use it) really helps you see where you're trying to do things against your own identity and personality. It helps me, and therefore you, see what's really important to you. Why certain things might not have been working and feel like you're wading through treacle.

It helps you see how to shape your business, or the kind of roles to go for in your career. Why some things just don't click and others do.

For me, the enneagram makes the foundational work to ensure a path to success and happiness ten times easier.

It creates the awareness that a lot of people struggle with for a long time. It makes it easier to be conscious of these patterns and makes them far easier to change.

It even helps you see why you might struggle with certain friendship dynamics, with authority, in romantic relationships and where you can excel.

You stop beating yourself up, you start to be able to accept others. All round less frustration! Delightful. It basically, in my opinion, makes life so much easier.

THEN combining this with my work in complex trauma, cognitive and somatic modalities, how to heal, regulate emotions, regulate the nervous system leads to a holistic approach to your growth, success, happiness and all the juicy good stuff!

Hopefully you can see how this might be super helpful for you too.

If you do want to go deeper into this little introduction of what the enneagram is and how it can help then do make sure you're following @enneagramandexcell I've also just launched some beta pricing on Enneagram essentials sessions with me. These are 60 minute sessions where we'll go through your profile together so you can see the patterns and opportunities for growth specific to you, your number and where you currently are within that spectrum.

It's normally £500 for an hour with me but as they're brand spanking new these sessions are just £222 so if you want to take advantage of one of those then drop me a DM on Instagram @enneagramandexcell or just head to https://bit.ly/enneagramessentials If you have questions or want to ask about payment plans just drop me a message on instagram or email [email protected]

I'm LOVING doing these already. I can't wait to find out your number and how it can help you grow!

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Are You Following Your Joy?

Are you following your joy in your business?

I talk about this a lot.

Firstly because I feel like it's actually something that gets ignored far too often.

Secondly because there's so much nuance to where you get your joy.

What brings you joy will shift and change as you shift and change.

As well what doesn't.

There have been some things recently that haven't been bringing me joy anymore and when I started to pay attention to that I asked myself a few questions.

Firstly I asked, What no longer brings me joy, and why?

It's no secret there are lots of things I see as problematic in the online industry in terms of bro marketing, scarcity marketing, people intentionally putting people into a trauma response to get them to buy.

Some days you can feel like you're fighting a losing battle.

I'm not on Facebook much except for my paid programmes but every time I go on there it's full of things that makes me wonder for a second if i'm back at school and i'm really not here for it.

Calling people out publicly. Mob mentality. Being nice to someone's face and talking badly behind their back.

It's a no from me thank you.

I've been trying to 'untangle' the things and places that make me feel like i'm caught up in it so I can get back in my own lane and protect my own space.

At the end of the day it stems from unconscious programmes and protection mechanisms that can be absolutely empathised with but i'd rather not be around it.

People understanding psychology or trauma and using psychological manipulation or poking trauma isn't something I can get on board with.

So i've been muting and unfollowing lots of people and accounts. I've been making it as easy as possible on myself to not see it. Not to create an eco chamber. I'm totally here for new perspectives on things, my ability to see things from all sides is something I consider a super power. It's to protect my own energy.

So being honest with myself about what's NOT sparking joy right now is something I see as a really important part of this process.

Next up I asked myself, What does bring me joy and am I giving it enough attention?

The first thing in my business that really brings me joy is in person time. I can get some serious magic done with someone in person and I love it. It's just a totally different vibe.

So the Mentorship absolutely covers this with the retreat and then 2 more in person days.

My VIP in person days bring me SO much joy. 4 hours, you me and a tonne of tea (or fizz!) picking things apart and putting it back together again based around you, what you want for your business and your life. Cutting out the noise and other people's 'shoulds' and getting you focused on what needs to happen, without trying to sell your soul or do a tonne of things you really don't want to. Because, guess what…you won't!

Doing my monthly 'ask me anything calls' inside my membership and our calls with our mentees on The Mentorship I love too.

But there is something that REALLY sparks joy that i've been publicly holding back on. Something that I use ALL the time with all my clients and in conversation when I meet people.

It's my little secret weapon and brings me SO much joy when I introduce people to it.

So this was a little revelation. So I had a little dig into why I wasn't following that joy and really there was no good reason other than I used it with my private clients and the thought that not that many people were familiar with it.

So next up I asked, What could happen if I did give it more attention?

And that's when the light bulbs went off.

SO much could happen if I give it more attention but also, even if all that potential great stuff doesn't happen…i'm still following my joy. I'm still going deeper into something that brings ME joy.

So why the eff not?!

So i'm coming out of my joy closet with you today while I practice what I preach.

The thing that sparks joy as someone who is obsessed with personal growth and development, passionate about helping people uncover their unconscious programming so they can consciously change it and someone who is also obsessed with wellbeing and being able to understand and listen to your own needs…is The Enneagram.

If you're thinking WTF is The Enneagram don't you worry i've got you covered. I'll do an episode on it very soon but in the meantime yesterday I started a new Instagram and Tiktok profile @enneagramandexcell and i'm going to be talking all about it.

The first step in any change is awareness and The Enneagram is one of my favourite tools for short cutting that.

Every client I introduce it to and work with around it finds it a total game changer for creating self awareness, reducing the nasty inner self talk, creating self compassion and finding compassion for other people too. Go follow me over @enneagramandexcell I have no idea where it's going to take me just yet but i'm excited to find out.

Nothing else changes i'm just practicing what I preach and following the joy and experimenting with no attachment to the outcome and I hope you come join me :-)

So, I invite you to do the same exercise.

Follow the tingles and don't ignore the Meh's.

Everything is always moving you towards where you're supposed to be.

It's not realistic to think that you're always going to love everything in your business. Or that you won't change your mind. Or want to pivot totally. You grow and change, so does your business.

You get to be happy doing what you do.

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Membership https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Autumn 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Membership https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort Jan 2023)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How Are You Feeling Right Now?

How are you feeling right now?

There's a lot going on in the world and it can feel super overwhelming and, let's be honest, a bit doom and gloom!

Even in the heatwave last week everything was scare mongering language, dramatic imagery on weather reports where previously it would have been happy sunshine icons being replaced by dark red maps, fear for the future of the planet. Understanding climate change and how we can do our part is hugely important of course. But this was not that!

The national psyche in the UK and around the globe is that none of us are going to be able to afford to live very soon. This is one of the very things that CAUSES recessions. In the same way reports of shortages of toilet rolls and pasta at the beginning of lock down CAUSED everyone to go out and ransack the shelves leading to a far worse shortage of toilet roll and pasta! Inciting panic about rising costs CAUSES people to stop spending.

Issues of the awful and disgraceful war in Ukraine and how that's affecting people there and the rest of the world. The fact the focus is less on people needlessly dying now, and more on how it affects our energy and petrol pricing is also grim.

There's far too much else to mention in this episode but you get the idea.

It's inciting panic which influences our behaviour because we have our very 'survival' at stake according to our brains and we operate from that space. Scarcity, lack, stop spending, seek the evidence to confirm the reports.

You can see how this works.

And it's a lot.

It can really affect how we feel and our mindset which in turn affects our beliefs and our behaviour.

Especially if you don't have your wits about you and certain simple things in place that can potentially make a big difference.

So, I wanted to have an open chat about a few things and also give you a couple of perspective shifts, reframes and tips that I think could be helpful for you.

I talk about our unconscious programming all the time and why it's so important to make the unconscious conscious, the same applies here.

I'm always talking about society as a whole and the media having a lot to answer for in terms of how we're wired and what we're wired for.

A little context for you. I went to university to study communications and sociology because I've always been fascinated with human behaviour. My dissertation was all about how the media and advertising and the social psyche serves to cause women to feel inadequate after a certain age. It's really fascinating when you dig deep into a subject and see how society and people's behaviour makes so much sense. Which is a GOOD thing because that's the space where you can create some discernment and consciously choose to do something with it instead of being consumed by it.

One of the things we looked into and researched was the idea of newsworthiness. What makes something 'newsworthy'. And why does it need to be.

Why? Because media companies want you to watch. They want you to read, they want you to buy. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you remember that and consume it with that in mind. Call that your 'pinch of salt' if you like. We all know about click bait. What's going to make you click, what's going to make you buy, what's going to keep you glued to your TV screen?

You don't have to blindly believe what you read, watch or hear. I highly recommend that you don't.

I had a glorious 15 year career in media and advertising so I'm really not knocking it. It's a huge business that keeps the economy going. But, with that experience my eyes are very much open and I've studied this stuff from the sociological perspective and the mindset perspective too which means it's FAR easier for me to see things from a different perspective and not get consumed by it. To take everything with a pinch of salt. To consciously form my own opinion.

Because, no two ways about it, this messaging is affecting how you show up in your business. This panic will make you make rash decisions. So the more conscious you can get to this now, the better.

It seeps into your psyche and when we look at it from the perspective of what's deemed 'newsworthy' it's usually shock factor and negativity. That DOES have an effect on your own mindset and your own view of the world and your place in it.

Remember you're wiring your brain all the time, what are you wiring? (Ooooh that's going to be a whole other episode actually it will tie in nicely with this one.)

So if you're 'feeling it' right now? I'm not surprised, it's totally understandable. There are harrowing things going on in the US, Ukraine, The UK and so many other places that it can all get a bit much and we can feel powerless.

So what can you do to start shifting this up a bit?

I have a few things I do and ways that I've trained my brain to think and behave. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't and see if you start to notice a shift in how you feel.

Firstly, I have self imposed boundaries over my own media consumption.

I choose reputable (as balanced as possible…still with a pinch of salt) places to get my news and I do not sit there seeking it. I might once per day, probably less, see what's going on and what I need to know to remain informed.

I quite like a newsletter called The Conversation but even with that it's a 'need to know' basis. Love a bit of independent journalism!

I also put myself on a celebrity gossip 'ban' about 3 years ago and even that on its own made a HUGE difference. It's normally full of negativity and picking people apart based on their looks. No thank you!

The next tip is to figure out what's true for you. Be curious. Ask questions. Seek alternative perspectives. Trust yourself to form your own opinion.

Ask yourself, What am I creating as my worst case scenario? What would I do in that situation? What COULD I do in that situation? What do I have control over right now?

How can you limit YOUR media intake in a way that works for YOU?

Can you start to notice when you're becoming consumed by negative news or environments take things with a pinch of salt and discernment? Look at your social media for this too and why I prefer Instagram to Facebook, it's far easier to control what you're feeding your noggin!

Can you separate what's happening in the world and in the news from your personal situation? Of course there will be things that could have an effect but before you make big decisions are you able to take a zoom out and observe your situation for what it really is instead of what any scare mongering is creating for you in your mind of what your future will hold? Remember, the media aren't mind readers.

You have far more control than you think.

Notice your inner self talk and ask yourself what you can put in place that could be a safeguard for your future or something that could potentially avoid the worst case scenario altogether?

The biggest thing is how are you going to look after your own wellbeing and what does that look like for you?

Is it journaling, getting out in nature, making sure you're exercising and moving your body?

Is it simply noticing that you don't have to believe every thought you have or is it making extra effort to speak to or see people you love.

How do you feel well regulated in your own self?

There's SO much nuance to every individual situation that can't possibly be covered. Make sure you're operating from a place of knowing yours.

You're unique, your situation is unique and you're the one in the driving seat as long as you remain conscious!

Fx

Show note links:

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• Join The Mentorship https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Why You Are Not Your Thoughts

You are not your thoughts. I'm sure you've heard that before.

Sounds great right?

But what does it really mean?

It's another of those things that becomes 'buzzy' to the point that people ignore it.

This one is REALLY not to be ignored.

When you really, truly grasp this concept some pretty huge things happen.

That nasty little voice that's been talking to you your whole life starts to get strangely quiet.

You're less judgy of yourself.

You're less judgy of others.

You're able to respond instead of react.

You understand yourself at a deep level.

You understand your behaviour.

You find self compassion and confidence.

It will reduce your stress, especially overwhelm and anxiety.

So I thought it might be worth digging into with you today.

So what does 'you are not your thoughts' really mean then?

First we need to understand that our thoughts lead to our feelings, our feelings drive our behaviour and then our actions create our results.

So it's easy to see how easily we believe our thoughts. Because we create self fulfilling prophecies all the time through this very loop. When we do that we take it as proof and evidence that the original thought was indeed correct.

So if we think something negative about ourselves, that will create feelings and emotions. Perhaps apathy, disgust, frustration, shame.

Then THIS is the place that we're taking action from.

So if you're coming from a place where all this negative stuff is true about yourself, what might you do?

Perhaps not take an opportunity that's right in front of you or go after that thing you really want, because what would be the point anyway, right?

Then what happens?

The results are, you don't get the thing!

And of course that then proves the original thought 'right' and 'true'.

Then rinse and repeat over decades and take it on as your identity.

We apparently have approximately 60,000 thoughts per day, most of which are negative in some way. And repetitive.

So we're just constantly playing these loops and accepting them as truth about who we are.

But, here's the thing…You do not have to believe your thoughts.

You can also argue back to your thoughts and your ego. But only once you observe them and realise that YOU are the one observing them.

Your thoughts drive your behaviour. Your brain and your nervous system always want to keep you alive. So, what if I told you that not only do your thoughts create the emotions that drive your behaviour by sending the signals to your body to release certain neuro chemicals. But that also, your nervous system will create your thoughts. You often FEEL things before you think them.

Think about it (see what I did there!), if the aim of the game is to keep you safe and keep you simply repeating behaviours you've already rehearsed and repeated as safe then why would it not send thoughts like 'who do you think you are to do this?' or 'You're not good enough'. Because what actions would those kinds of thoughts lead to?

You not doing the thing, right??

Getting you back into the rehearsed and repeated familiar.

Which is exactly what will keep you alive according to your brain and nervous system.

It's not about good, bad, right or wrong for you. There isn't a moral compass outside of keeping you alive.

When you can recognise what they are there for. Your own safety. However missguided. It can help you zoom out from those thoughts and not get consumed by them. Realise it's just a habitual thought.

You might even eventually be able to find them funny in their ridiculousness.

But in the same way that we allow our negative thoughts to take over our lives, think about the power to do that with the positive ones?

Not denying the negative and toxic positivity-ing yourself. But allowing you to actually question and decide which ones you take on for yourself.

You are not your thoughts. You are the person listening to your thoughts. What if you gave yourself that little extra degree of separation?This is something that practicing mindfulness really helps us to do.

A really helpful exercise to help create this separation of you from your thoughts is stream of consciousness journaling.

You can do this morning, evening, or both, or even just when you need to 'get out of your head' for a minute. Grab your journal and write down each thought as it comes up. It will look bizarre. Something like 'I want a cup of tea. Oooh my leg itches. I wonder who first decided to milk a cow. I can't see, where are my glasses. I have to speak to X person today. What shall I have for lunch?' you get the idea.

You'll have a lot of gobbledegook but you also might find some nuggets in there that could be a clue as to why you might be feeling a certain way. You can also then see it for what it is and then combat against it with conscious, rational thinking, getting you out of auto pilot.

Another exercise is to ask yourself, what could be the highest positive intention of this thought? Again, it's getting you to start to deal in truth and reality. Is it an unconscious protection mechanism? What happens if you believe or obey the thought and what happens if you don't?

It's always your version of reality. Not reality itself. This is why self awareness is so, so key to making any changes in life.

So much of this is learning to be more conscious. When you're more conscious you're using your prefrontal cortex. The CEO of your brain. This is where conscious, rational thinking, choice and decision making live and this is where you get to challenge and change your thoughts. It's about getting off of autopilot. Then you consciously repeat the thoughts and rehearse the beliefs you do want and wire them into autopilot.

This is why Notice is the first step in my NICER framework for lasting change. You have to notice the thoughts instead of BEING the thoughts or being consumed by them.

This is how I totally changed my life. Conscious intention. Noticing my thoughts instead of BEING my thoughts. Rinse and repeat.

Practicing being present and in the now. Most of our thoughts tend to be about the past or the future, right? So what if they were just about where you are right in this moment. Can you see how that could make a difference?

Thoughts are not you, they are something you experience. They are also symptoms or clues for something else that can be changed to serve you better.

You are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts. You are also more in control of them than you believe.

Fx

Show note links:

Join Lauren's Tick All The Boxes course: https://bit.ly/mysubsbox

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• Join The Mentorship https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How To Increase Your Self Worth

How can you increase your self worth…when you've been practicing low self worth for most of your life?

Is it even possible to increase your self worth?

The quick answer is yes.

Absolutely possible.

I know because I've done it.

The answers of HOW can be pretty nuanced because we're all individuals and our low self esteem shows up in varying ways but there are absolutely some simple (not necessarily easy) ways to start you down that road..

But first, where does low self esteem and low self worth actually come from?

It tends to start in early childhood.

All sorts of things can affect it over the course of our lives, like toxic relationships, tough work places and things like that.

But primarily it begins in childhood. All our experiences of not getting our needs met, all our experiences in school, with teachers, parents, grandparents all combine and help form our opinion of ourselves.

Along with everything we watch, read and absorb through society.

Self worth and self esteem are very closely linked but they are essentially what you think, feel and believe about yourself and your place in the world.

So how do we start to shift this around?

Understanding Neuroplasticity is important here. That's the brain's ability to create new neural connections. Also understanding that the brain will always go the 'easiest' route. The path of least resistance. This basically means, the most rehearsed patterns of thinking.

So it takes time and it takes energy but you can absolutely start rewiring yourself for the opposite of your current path of least resistance and make THAT your default mode.

So now we know it IS possible, how do we start to go about doing it?

It's incredibly helpful to start to identify the negative unconscious beliefs that you have about yourself. Get them written down. Now look at them objectively and challenge them. Argue against them. What would your best friend say about them? Where did they come from? What evidence do you have that they aren't true?

Next little task. Write down a list of your accomplishments and amazing things that you've done. This can simply be kind things you've done for others, it can be accolades, awards, things you've overcome, cool things you've done. The sky's the limit here but challenge yourself to find as many as you can. Things that prove you're awesome and a good person.

Next up is to start to notice your unhelpful habits. These are just wired in protection behaviours that can be changed. But things can only change when you know what you're trying to change. So don't do this through the lens of criticism and judgement. It's absolutely not your 'fault', we all have our habits that don't serve us, it's a part of the human experience. Do this task through the lens of curiosity and knowledge that you're going to be able to make positive changes.

The next one might feel slightly clunky, different and unnatural to start with. Treat yourself kindly. Ask yourself, how could I be kind to myself right now. It might be an acknowledgement, a new way of thinking or it could be something you physically do for yourself that helps you know that you're worth the time and effort.

Learn to meet your own needs. Actually ask yourself what they are and tune in to the answer. What do I want right now? What do I need right now? How can I look after myself in this moment? And actually give yourself what you need. If the answer is something that you know isn't good for you, challenge yourself. Your pesky ego has come out to play but you get to put it back in its box and ask, would this be good for me right now? What need am I trying to meet and is there another, better way for me to meet it?

Following on from this is to communicate your needs to others to give them a chance of being met. If you don't learn to communicate your needs, how can you expect them to be met? Maybe you need space, perhaps you need time, maybe it's something else.

Remember to shift the focus. If you're focusing on the negatives then you will find more of them. Intentionally start to seek the positives. When you do this you aren't denying any negatives, you're allowing them to be present and you can be curious about what they're trying to tell you rather than being consumed by them…but when you intentionally shift the purpose to emotions like gratitude and appreciation, you're also wiring your brain to start seeking the positives.

Next, challenge yourself. We only grow through learning to sit in a little discomfort and challenging ourselves. Allow yourself to achieve things. Actually give yourself the opportunity to grow. The more you do this the more your confidence and self worth will grow. When we challenge ourselves we literally create new neural pathways that support our sense of worth. So how could you challenge yourself? Maybe you want to learn something new, run a marathon, write a book. Sit with it and see what comes up.

Show yourself compassion. The same compassion you would offer someone else.

Do the things that make you feel good. I'm always talking about something I did that really helped me on my journey of self love and self worth. To the point I think everyone in my membership, 1:1 and in my programmes thinks I'm pretty weird because it's so seemingly simple that they may not be able to see how it has a profound effect. Every single day when I get out of the shower I moisturise my whole body. I use the fancy stuff. Why? I feel amazing. I smell great, my skin is great, it feels luxurious, I feel worth it. Instead of looking at things you wish you had, ask yourself why other people have them. I get complimented on my skin all the time. I have great skin, because I put the time into having great skin, I don't just get it though wanting it, I take action. That person with the amazing body probably puts the work in to have it. What do you know will make you feel great that is something you can easily give yourself and turn into a positive habit?

Spend time on yourself. Even if you start with just 5 minutes per day, investing time in yourself is an incredible thing to do. Particularly if you lean towards people pleasing and putting others first. 5 minutes of meditation or journaling can really kick start your belief that you are worth your own time. You can look to gradually increase it, but you just need to start with 5 minutes.

On the subject of people pleasing, notice when you say yes but want to say no. Practice saying no. It gets easier, I promise.

Next up. Notice how the people you spend your time with make you feel. Spend more time with the people who make you feel good and fill your cup, and less with the people who bring you down or put you down!

Understand that the things you don't feel you have capacity for are usually things that you can learn. This could be confidence, self love, patience, belief in yourself. You can learn it all but you have to start somewhere.

Ask people you KNOW love and appreciate you, what they love and appreciate about you. The brain likes evidence, give it some!

Remember that the little voice in your head is not YOU! It's a collection of defense and protection mechanisms that you've learned over time, that can all be unlearned.

Above all else please don't value your self worth on external factors like busy-ness, how many followers you have, income, appearance, wealth, size etc. And PLEASE don't allow anyone else to.

You are so worthy…whether you think that or not right now, it's still true.

Now i've got you pondering all that I also have a little reminder that the opportunity to join Lauren's subscription box course, 'Tick all the boxes' and access to all of her, and my glorious bonuses closes for enrollment tonight (11th July 2022) at 9.00pm. To check it out or joinhead to https://bit.ly/mysubsbox

If now is the right time for you then i'm really excited to support you for the next 6 months. If it's not, I hope you feel good about making the right decision for you. Because that's what it's about when it comes to self-worth. Knowing you're making the right decisions and choices for yourself.

Because everyone deserves that.

Fx

Show note links:

Join Lauren's subscription box masterclass ttps://bit.ly/subsmasterclass

• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• Join The Mentorship https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

Why Self Care Isn't Selfish

Self care isn't selfish.

In my opinion, both through my training and my personal experience, it really is an essential piece of the puzzle of life and a huge game changer that isn't to be underestimated.

The term self care has become a bit 'buzzy' which I feel often makes people roll their eyes and ignore it rather than sit up and go 'oh, I should probably do that'.

Which is frustrating because usually the simplest things are often the things that could make the biggest difference. But we don't trust it. It seems 'too simple' to have any real impact and that's simply not the case.

Why am I talking about this today?

By the time you're listening to this I shall be on a retreat. A retreat that's purely for me and only about my own rest, self care and nervous system care.

I will be doing yin yoga, drinking herbal tea, eating delicious balanced healthy food and listening to my body and what it needs. For 5 days. Yes, there's a hot tub…of course!

It's particularly important to look after your own wellbeing if you work with people on their mental or physical wellbeing. Again, it's essential. You can take on a lot and you're holding people in ways and spaces they've never been held before. You deal with a lot of emotion. It's a huge responsibility. But it means, in order for you to truly be able to show up as the best, most present version of you, you have to prioritise looking after yourself.

I do this on a daily basis, if you follow me on Instagram @imfranexcell you'll always see on my stories i'm either doing my 'me mornings' i'm at the gym, in the pool, doing Heartmath, using my senate, all sorts of things that are about prioritising myself.

There's an underlying tone throughout society that to look after yourself is selfish and it's simply not true.

I really believe it's selfless.

It's also the key to unlocking more confidence, more self esteem, more calm, more self belief, more self love.

Fancy some of that? I thought so.

When you DO start to put more of an emphasis on your own self care you might like to know what benefits it might have, apart from the obvious.

Looking after yourself and your own wellbeing is a pretty solid way to avoid burnout. You don't want to get burned out. It's not pretty. Burn out happens at the point where your brain and body has had enough and it forces you to take action. So instead of losing time to HAVING to rest you may as well out in a little time now so you can avoid having to.

Self care is not a time suck. It's not something that is an annoyance on your to do list that TAKES time away from whatever else you want to be doing or are telling yourself you 'should' be doing. Self care will actively increase your productivity.

Every single time I do my work out, I take the time to be in the pool (on of mine and my nervous systems favourite things to do, I find being in the water incredibly regulating) I do my Heartmath or my meditation or use my sensate I have HUGELY increased levels of motivation, focus and productivity. I talk about this in my miracle 'me' mornings episode from a few weeks ago. It's a HUGE difference. So if you're looking for your mojo and your motivation, it's being elusive to you. Just give this a try.

It actively looks after your nervous system. You want your nervous system to be well looked after because it plays an essential part in your behaviour and, well, pretty much everything in your life. A well looked after nervous system has a larger window of tolerance and capacity to cope with what life throws at you. Your ability to recover from stress and triggers is bigger and quicker. Your behaviour is far more conscious because you're not consistently operating from the emotional part of your brain and in fight, flight or freeze mode. Basically. You want to look after your nervous system, which is what I'm doing this week.

It looks after your brain and your memory. Your brain only has the ability to handle so much information in any one day. When you prioritise self care you'll also probably find that you'll sleep better. Which means your brain has the time to recover, get to work on your healing and also make sure your memories are looked after too. Think about it, when you're tired and stressed out or have been burning the candle at both ends what happens to your memory? Your ability to string a sentence together? Your ability to problem solve? Your ability to cope with stressors?

You've got to think about what you're wiring into your brain in terms of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. For the positive and the negative. So when you don't look after yourself what could you be wiring in? That you're not worth the time? That you don't deserve it? That time spent on yourself is 'wasted'? That you're not important?

And what are you wiring in when you DO look after yourself? That you ARE worthy? That time invested in you is time well spent? That you matter? That you're important?

Like I said before, and when you think about what I've just said, looking after yourself is an incredible way to increase your self esteem and confidence. For exactly the reasons I've just mentioned.

Think about who you need to show up for. Family? Friends? Clients? Making sure you're able to be the best version of yourself is so so important. If you're psychologically and physically looking after yourself everyone around you benefits.

The other thing I really want you lovely rock star parents out there to think about is what you're modeling for your kiddos. Think about where you may have learned to NOT look after yourself? What did you see or hear as a child around self care? If we can create a generation of kids who look after themselves, their physical, emotional and mental health. Imagine a world full of emotionally regulated and well rested individuals. I mean, talk about a game changer. Remember, as always, no judgement of yourself, only self compassion and curiosity.

You're not always going to get it right, this isn't about piling on pressure for yourself or another way for you to beat yourself up. There are inevitably times when self care goes out the window because of time pressures, or things coming up that we aren't expecting. But it's about making sure you have your plans to go back to it, know that it's important and knowing that you're worth the time too.

It's also remembering that self care isn't just bubble baths, yoga and massages. It's looking after your physical, emotional and mental health.It's remembering that all of these are linked. It's preventative in terms of the symptoms that can arise from both of those categories without adequate self care. Remember, if you get ill what happens to your business and the people you need to look after then?

It's getting more sleep. It's drinking water. It's also setting boundaries, it's communicating your needs, to both yourself and other people. It's the way you talk to yourself. It's the choices and decisions you make. It's not abandoning yourself. It's noticing when your life is out of balance and choosing to do something about it. It's paying attention to yourself. It's self awareness.

Your self care is always going to look different to someone else's so there's no need to compare.

Self care in your business might look like acknowledging when something isn't working for you anymore. Or that you've lost your joy. Or that you need a change and actually allow yourself to go there.

That's why I'm excited about all the people doing Lauren's subscription box challenge because so many people are going to find a new way to 'spark joy' in their business. Me included.

I think subscription boxes are such a great way to inject some fun into your business. It's a great business model where you get to shop for things you love, you get to give that joy to your subscribers every month AND you also get that sweet sweet recurring revenue that I'm always talking about. So you know where you're at every month. AND if you don't want to be a personal brand but know you want a business it's an incredible business model for that too.

Anyhoo…If you missed me talking about Lauren, she's a friend of mine and the absolute QUEEN of starting subscription boxes. She's got 3 (nearly 4) of her own and she's grown them hugely in the last 18 months. If you missed her challenge last week it's not too late, she's going to do a recap on her masterclass tonight (Monday 4th July 2022 that is) If you haven't already signed up, it's tonight at 8pm UK. https://bit.ly/subsmasterclass She's also going to be talking about her amazing end to end programme 'Tick all the boxes' which is everything you need to be able to set up and launch your subscription box from scratch. She even teaches you ways that you don't have to front up the cash for the products too. If now feels like the right time for you, and if you sign up with me, you'll also get access to all my bonuses too.

If you're in the first 5 people to buy you'll get to come spend the day with me at the very place I do a lot of the things i've been talking about today. Eastwell Manor in Kent. It's just an hour outside of London and my very own self care oasis. It's a Champneys' spa hotel and I'm there at least 3x per week looking after myself in various ways. We'll have afternoon tea together up at the manor and spend the day masterminding and taming mindset gremlins. Not only with me but with Lauren herself too. I've promised her a go in the hot tub and she's very excited.

Even if you aren't in the first 5 you'll also get (on top of all of her bonuses) a 60 minute 1:1 with me, access to my Positive Pants Toolkit membership for 6 months (including the monthly group calls) and you'll get my Attitude of Gratitude chunky journal delivered to your door too.

Cart opens after the masterclass tonight and you'll be able to jump in and have me supporting you on your journey to being the owner of your very own subscription box.

So, bearing ALL of this in mind I want to leave you with one little thought.

Rest is not lazy. Self care is not selfish. They are integral to your happiness and you deserve every minute of it.

Fx

Show note links:

• Join Lauren's Subscription Box challenge bit.ly/subsboxchallenge
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• Join The Mentorship https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/

Freebies:

• Grab your FREE 'Stressed To Success' meditation: https://bit.ly/stressedtosuccess
• Book in a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min

Ways to work with me:

• 1:1: https://franexcell.com/work-with-me
• SOS! (Success Over Stress) Group Programme (Coming back Spring 2022!)
• Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App & Community https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app
• The Mentorship 6 month programme: https://beyondthedawnblog.com/the-mentorship/ (Next Cohort June 2022)

Products:

• Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude
• Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook
• To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://bit.ly/pppimwaiting

Contact:

• Make sure you're following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!
• Email me at [email protected] with any questions or take aways!
• For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/

How To Bring Some Fun Into Your Business

When you're hearing this (if you're a dedicated through and through listener and listening in the first week of release ha!) I shall be on the part of my business I find the MOST fun. Our Mentorship retreat.

We work hard and we really get stuff done, our sessions are hugely practical, you leave with tangible things like all your content planned out, your product suite mapped for the next 6-12 months, complete clarity over where your focus lies and you'll be DOING things while you're still there. BUT, we play hard too on these retreats and I absolutely love them. We have a 3 course meal every evening, relax over a glass or two of vino and then hop in the hot tub en masse where all the best chats happen whilst looking up at the stars.

Maybe a little karaoke thrown in for good measure too.

Business doesn't have to be serious all the time. It's something that's been plonked into our psyche by society, hustle and grind culture and what we may have seen via our parents growing up.

Things are so serious in the business world but they really don't have to be.

Nothing changes until something changes, right?

Just take working from home as an example. Things can change!

You can change them. It's YOUR business.

So let's see how we can inject a little lightness and fun back into business shall we?

Here's the thing, when you follow your joy everything feels easier. Lighter. You can bring that into so many areas too. Allowing yourself to experiment with your own launches. Making sure that it's going to be something fun for you to run rather than feeling like it's a massive chore. What might that look like for you?

Same with social media. I LOVE reels and stories on Instagram AND I've just joined the darkside (Tiktok) and actually i'm having fun. I love stickers on Instagram stories to inject a little Fran style silliness in. I love reels for their creativity and how you can really show your personality and humour.

What could work for you? How could you make it more fun for you AND your audience?

Something else I'd love for you to think about. What if you allowed yourself the belief that business can be fun. Allow yourself to go there. Maybe do this as a little visualisation and see what comes up for you. What does it look like to have fun in your business? What would you love to do but haven't allowed yourself to see the possibilities? Do you want to add products perhaps?

Think about how launches could be fun for you. What would you really enjoy doing? Maybe you love a challenge style launch? Maybe you really want to allow yourself to experiment and mix it up and just see what happens.

How can you get your audience involved and have fun WITH them?

Bring your personality out more. What makes you YOU is what people will love about you. So bring out your quirks! If you're obsessed with dogs, bring that in. If you have an obsession with Disney, bring that in. What are your quirks and how could you allow them to let your audience in on your fun side whilst having fun yourself?

Take the time to do something fun or to make your inner child happy, every day.

On the subject of bringing fun into your business, think about your business model too. How much of it 'sparks joy' so to speak?

What business model might feel the most fun for you? Is it all about people and the connection you can have with them? Is it about in person? Is it about luxury? Is it about a product?

A business model I personally always look at and think would be super fun is subscription boxes. You basically get to spend time shopping for awesome things to send to your customers to spark joy for them on a monthly basis.

Think of it as happy post.

Most of the things we get through the post these days are bills, or things we know are coming. Subscription boxes are a surprise each month.

The first one I subscribed to was Birchbox where I'd get a load of beauty products to try each month and I was obsessed with the box designs too.

I subscribed to that for years (I only stopped when I really didn't have any more room for more lipsticks or mini mascaras.)

So much joy clearly went into creating each box and I got the joy of opening it every month too.

Also, as a business model it's great if you hate things like going live because the box can be a brand in its own right so you don't have to be the 'face' of it. Which also means it will eventually become a sellable asset too.

My friend Lauren Prentice started The Business Box in lockdown and also runs Nutritional Ninjas, a baking box for kiddos. She is the absolute Queen of subscription boxes owning several different businesses, and adding a couple more shortly.

I've watched her launch these from scratch and the growth has been bonkers.

She only launched them 18 months ago and has already grown them to over 1000 subscribers and multi-six figure businesses.

She's hosting a free 4-day challenge "Subscription Boxes Unboxed " from the 27th of June 2022 to show you step by step how to launch your own subscription box so if this sounds like it might be a great way for you to inject a little fun into your business then get involved. You can head to https://bit.ly/subsboxchallenge and get yourself signed up.

I'm thinking of launching one with a friend of mine so I'll be keeping my eye on it too.

Thinking of doing something fun is also why I want to do it with my friend. And also why I love working with Dawni and Abi in The Mentorship.

It's an added layer of fun so that's an extra bonus way to add fun to your business to think about.

So. It's time to let go of the archaic idea that business should be hard and you're not meant to enjoy it and it's not fun. You get to change the game. It's your business. It gets to be fun and playful.

Fx