Roberta Shaler is the relationship help doctor – meaning she gives urgent care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help, so you know there is no denying this woman is an absolute power house. She particularly helps the partners, children, and exes of people she calls “Hijackals” or people who hijack relationships for power, status, and control. If you need to reclaim your sanity and learn how to cope with this people in your life, Roberta is the doctor for you. She is the author of 16 books including her new series on how to deal with relentlessly difficult people.

Born in the Lair

Roberta finds that she is such an expert on the subject of difficult people because she was born into a lair of Hijackals. At the time, she had no words to put to the kinds of people she was raised by. Furthermore, there seemed to be no help in trying to discuss these issues with people outside her family. She was often told, oh, it’s not like that you’re just misunderstanding your family, which would just re-wound Roberta again. In getting her doctorate in psychology, Roberta started searching for a word that she couldn’t find in all the clinical diagnoses she was studying. Through this work with conflict management in both corporate spheres and personal ones, she arrived at the term that encompassed what she was trying to express: Hijackals.

The main thing to remember when around a Hijackal is that you have the right to take breath and speak what you feeling, so long as you are not attacking the other person. Take responsibility for the “I” and try and stay away from the “You”. Focus on saying things like “When this happens” as opposed to “When you do this”.

Creating Boundaries

First, you have to realize you have worth. What someone says about you is not your truth. You have to settle your own worth, look at your own goals and ambitions, and see what your path forward is. Those boundaries should line that path and let you see that you are telling your own story, no one else is.

Don’t let a Hijackal wrap their tentacles around your soul and guide you. Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between the real and the imagined. Make sure you are telling yourself what you want to believe about yourself to help self-actualize your dreams, destroy the noise, and become empowered.

Links

ForRelationshipHelp.com

Youtube Channel

Jena Rodriguez is a brand business and brave strategist – you’ll be getting your “brave” on during this episode with her. She is the founder of Brave Masters Inc and is committed to boosting brand clarity, catapulting profits, and unleashing the full potential of entrepreneurs internationally. She sets out to help foster money making, world-changing brands by packaging their businesses greatest strengths. All of this centers around being brave – which is all about saying yes, and being uncomfortable but following through anyway. Jena is a mom, wife, author, fellow animal lover – a total power house here to help you destroy the noise.

Finding Your Brave

Jena says that brave is made out of three things. The first is decision: you have to get off the fence. Making choices is how you move forward, but then you have to commit. This means actively choosing to stick with that choice, evaluate it, and stick it out even when the going gets tough. Ultimately, taking massive action is the last step. This means not just taking a step, but seeing all the steps that came before and how you can propel yourself even further towards your goals.

Entrepreneurship is not the easy way – it’s the brave way.

Confronting Yourself

One of Jena’s superpowers is that she has a 50/50 brain – she is half creative and half math and business. She has embraced this about herself, the strategy and creativeness but she never spoke about it. She is able to give all of this to her clients but there was a lot of looking in the mirror along the way. Through her choices, last year, some of her income decreased. But this is all a part of taking risks and following what you need to be doing to be doing your best work.

She makes a powerful distinction when Jena says she compares herself to others in the space she is playing in. She doesn’t compare directly to them and their success, but rather in a way that broadens the scope of what opportunities are available to her.

Links

BraveMasters.com

Sheryl Kline is a high-performance coach, published author, speaker, and mother to great three kids.  She is the CEO and founder of The Zone Lab LLC and her area of expertise is mental toughness for women in the workplace. She has worked with world-class athletes, students, and businesses while conducting local and global workshops at Google Ventures, Microsoft, Pixar just to name a few. Her book – Zoned In: The Mental Toughness Required for a World Class You, is due out later this year.

What is Mental Toughness?

 Mental toughness is what it takes to step up and shine in the moment. Sheryl performed great in school and athletics, but every time a major event or test came up she found herself underperforming. The advice of settle down and focus didn’t quite do the trick. So, Sheryl decided to figure out how it was Olympians could train for years and pull through in that one moment of competition when they really needed to deliver. So, listen up – because we all have our own Olympics to show up to.

The core of mental toughness is planning for what we want and be clear, and to utilize thoughts and emotions to your benefit. She has put years of research into the Zoned In Mental Toughness Framework which is a process you can go through and learn.

Limiting Beliefs

We’ve all experienced failure before. If you’re not careful these failures can infiltrate your intention when you try to do anything else. The thoughts of “What if that happens again?” or “When it doesn’t work out again I’ll feel this way again,” actively block our ability to reach our potential. But what Sheryl wants you to take away is that you can’t ignore those thoughts and feelings. You have the acknowledge them. Greet them, and then tell yourself it’s okay. Call your emotions what they are. Then go and take action on something you do have control over.

Difference Between Emotions and Feelings

Sheryl wants to leave you with something that will help you utilize your emotions and feelings to step up. Visit – SherylKline.com/candy for a free resource just for you!

Links

SherylKline.com

Laura Rubinstein, author of the best-selling Social Media Myths Busted, joins me in the ring today. She is the founder of the Social Buzz Club, an online influencer network of entrepreneurs who build brand visibility using a gamified content sharing platform. Her portfolio includes supporting more than 1,000 businesses like American Express Cruise Planners, top financial planners, teen empowerment brands, startups, consultants, and best-selling authors.

Laura’s Journey

Laura likes to say she was in marketing before this century. Everything she did in terms of marketing was relationship based, not mass market minded. She was the one working with small business entrepreneurs, because in her opinion, these are the people who are really stepping up and are going to change the planet. They are the ones that are hands on, one on one with people making a difference. When the financial market tanked in 2008 Laura found herself with more time and all the emails she was getting from LinkedIn and Facebook set off a lightbulb for her. This was the relationship building marketing platform in turbo mode.

So now she is completely ingrained in the internet and marketing, but she makes an important distinction in how she operates: she is a marketer first, and a social media marketer second. Social is great, but you can’t abandon traditional marketing values and expect to find success.

Give Your Best Away

Laura and myself are on the same page when it comes to building relationships by giving away the best you have for free. This is how you show people what you’re capable of and what you can offer them. You don’t need to worry about people running off with your information or receiving things in return; when you put your best out there people will still come to you for guidance.

Links

Social Buzz Club

Twitter

Website

Megan Tull is an entrepreneur success strategist, transformational leader in business and life while also being an international speaker. She is the founder and CEO of Silver Lining Concepts—an innovative business and consulting firm. Her passions surround helping high achieving success-conscious businesses and entrepreneurs eliminate overwhelm, and redesign their careers to align with their unique values and true selves. She is also a best-selling author, a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and has been a featured expert on CBS and FOX. She’s here to show you how to access your unique value and share it with the world.

Her Journey

Megan has experienced the roller coaster of high and lows through life and her career. She has the experience of becoming a widow and single mom while also forming seven businesses through her career. At times she would have a brand new house and SUV to pull her new boat and feel on top of the world. Then she’d end up burnt out, in relationships that weren’t healthy, coming close to losing it all. Yes, she did what all the gurus in her industry told her to do. She had success under her belt. But she hit a turning point where she realized she was only doing what she felt she needed to do: not what she wanted to do, Finding that way to connect her true self to her work, life, and success is what she is most passionate about sharing and spreading with other’s struggling to push their own rock up their hill.

Overcoming Day-to-Day Adversity

Everyone experiences hardships, whether its just that your finances or tight or you have a relationship that’s hurting you or your car won’t start. The feelings associated with adversity can quickly stack up and weigh down on your spirit and drive. Megan tells her clients that the best way to deal with these feelings is to acknowledge them. She uses this technique herself, called the Allowing Process. This process makes you welcome those feelings into your being. When you let them into you really breathe them in you strip them of their power. They feel lighter, easier to wrestle with. The real trick comes with holding these feelings and then letting them go. Your ego with fight against it, but releasing the space they take up to make room for positive feelings and the things you want to create is the best way to move forward.

Finding Your Unique Value

Everyone struggles at some point with who they are now and who they want to be. What their passions are and what they should be doing. Often times, an especially as women, our talents and gifts are given away, taking care of everyone else but themselves. Give yourself permission to take the time to figure out what your gifts are, what things drive you. Megan believes our unique value comes from many different sources: our God-given talents and strengths, education, experience, skills, personality traits, and our values. All of these come together to make up your unique value. Truly understanding that value helps you move out of the copying others phase and figuring out what you have to offer to the world. There are solutions to problems that only you can provide. Cherish those, develop them, and use that knowledge to build your confidence and get out into the world.

Links

Pbmassessment.com

Access Code: PBMROCKS

Megantull.com

[email protected]

GP Walsh has a list of extraordinary talents—he’s a speaker, author, spiritual teacher, energy healer, workshop leader, and master coach and master meditation teacher. He’s been coaching and healing for over 30 years and has aided thousands with his reverent humor, bold assertions, and his contradictions of conventional wisdom and compassion. He has been nicknamed the Irreverent Sage due to his ability to take the most arcane life teachings and translate them into a language anyone can understand. Get ready to embrace his words and more importantly: yourself.

Gaining Clarity On Your Priorities

We all set great intentions, but often times they last about a minute. While GP had major shifts in his perception and life changing spiritual experiences when he was younger, it took decades to learn how to implement them in a consistent way. An epiphany won’t course correct your life. You have to overcome the momentum of your current life trajectory. The only way to grow into your vision is to confront the things head on that you put in your own way, and most importantly, not beat yourself up when you succumb to them from time to time. It’s going to happen.

Overcoming Your Robotic Tendencies

So you understand your vision and are working towards it, but you feel your traction slip. You slide back a little. Your default, preprogrammed reactions take over again and you’re left disheartened. So what do you do? GP says it comes with a true, intellectual understanding of your tendencies. Once you have pinpointed the reaction and what is at its source, you can’t be fooled by it anymore. And at first your momentum will resist. But by consciously paying attention to yourself, by not seeing these behaviors as character flaws, you can move forward. Practice that enough, and you will begin to stow that knowledge instinctually.

The Yoga of Allowing

Resistance isn’t going anywhere in your life. GP would encourage those striving towards their goals and vision to hold their arms wide open when resistance occurs. Turn all your focus to it. Feel it to the upmost of your ability. People have a misconception that mindfulness is always this blissful, tranquil state of being. Well, it really just means you are accepting what is there. If resistance is there then you embrace all its facets—how you don’t want it to be there, where it stems from, and how it feels inside you. This way you can look at it and what it is trying to protect you from. It’s not the enemy, it’s more like an overzealous friend. Creating that compassion can let you transform that energy and shift it in the direction you want. You’re stepping into self-acceptance.

Links

GPWalsh.com

In October of 2000, Charly Caldwell decided he was finished living in a space of burnout and it was time to step up and play a bigger game. He sold his first business and started down a path of helping other businesses and entrepreneurs find their own freedom by living purposefully, passionately, positively, productively, and profitably. He is the co-author of bestselling books, a renowned international speaker, and a YouTube and podcast creator.

Harmony, Not Balance

Charly realized he blew out many relationships while running his first business, an ISP which allowed people to connect to the early internet. He let the business run him and didn’t know how to power down and enjoy being with those around him. This was because he didn’t understand how to lead and how to take care of himself. He doesn’t like the word living in “balance”. He sees that harmony works better, as it applies to your mindset in the different areas you step into every day. When he’s at work he can be fully engaged there, but when he shuts the laptop he can step out of that space and be in harmony with those around him.

Leading with Co-Creation

One of the biggest things people ask is how do they start leading, what mindset do they need to be in. Charly has come to find that the easiest way to live in harmony with work and life is to lead intentionally with a mindset of co-creation. This means not taking every task onto your shoulders. It means walking into a meeting and telling everyone there that you are grateful that they are on your team. You have seen the work they’ve been doing and are making a plan to bring everything together towards a common goal. This mindset helps you and those you lead form a system where everyone’s work is valued, which makes it easier to shut that laptop and step harmonized into another area of your life.

Game Changing Habits

One habit Charly wants you to grow into is owning your morning. Not just sitting down and visualizing your day, the things you need to be aware of, but really focusing on what the best version of yourself looks like for that day. He also uses sentence starters to guide his thoughts. An example of this would be asking, “My dream for you today is…” and then visualizing from there. Filling in that blank every morning gets easier as you move forward and strengthens your ability to see that best version of yourself.

Tracy Repchuk is a world renowned speaker who has taken to the stage in over 37 countries. She is 7 time international best-selling author, and in 1985 started software company—at the age of 19. On this episode she shares with us how she found her purpose and stood up into a space where there were no women at all. Get ready to destroy the noise and listen to your inner voice with Tracy by your side.

The Journey

When Tracy first attended the World Internet Summit, she saw 50 men on stage without a single woman in sight. She decided that one day she was going to be on that stage. After stepping into the internet marketing space, 31 Days to Millionaire Marketing Miracles, shot to the bestseller list, had people flooding into be coached by her , and then she was being flown to Singapore to be on stage at the next World Internet Summit.

What most people don’t understand is that Tracy is an introvert. She started out programming in the back of the room before she was being flown across the world to speak in front of thousands. She had to step up and fill the spaces in front of her. Sometimes that meant putting up with people trying to sabotage her before she spoke, but more often than not, her doubt about speaking came from within. The audience loved her. But still she had to accept that she deserved to be on stage. She grew her skillset, invested in mentors and coaches, and fully came to accept her footing on the world stage.

Getting to Purpose

Coming out of the gate, Tracy didn’t know her purpose. She just felt the knock, the calling to something greater. She was a millionaire at the age of 22, but still she felt that voice telling her to get off her porch and push forward. She had everything, but wasn’t fulfilled on deeper spiritual levels. So she sought ought the things that filled those gaps. She had to know when to say yes to herself and filter out the noise of other people trying to direct her. Quieting down is how you listen to that whisper, and wait until that whisper turns into a 2X4 and slams you with what you’ve been looking for.

Many people settle for re analyzing their goals every New Year. Tracy writes hers down twice a day. This reminder keeps her immersed in her purpose and makes it easier to see the stepping stones she needs to move forward.

Links

Tracy Repchuk

Givebacktrips.com

Fastactionresults.com

Tina Dietz is an award-winning and acclaimed speaker, audiobook publisher, podcast producer and content marketing expert (she had a lot to do with me getting this podcast up and running). The Start Something Show was rated as one of the top 35 entrepreneur podcasts by INC magazine. She brings passion, vision, perspective and attention to detail to everyone she works with. Start Something Creative Business Solutions is Tina’s company that sets out to create more than just a business – she’s setting out to create a business oasis.

Journey

Tina was pretty much born an entrepreneur. Her family ran a wood burning stove and fireplace company while she was growing up, and while she didn’t know at the time, this upbringing permanently rewired her brain. She couldn’t rid herself of the entrepreneur mindset and utilized what she’d learned to start a non-profit for teenagers focused on leadership and connecting industry, high school, and college altogether. Then she switched her family’s company from a wood burning stove and fireplace company to an online massage training company. Go figure. She launched from there into a business coaching practice before starting Start Something Creative Business Solutions.

The Lemon and the Lesson

Tina had a real challenge to overcome when it came to understanding how other people were perceiving her in the way that she showed up. People would say things like, “Tone it down a little…you’re taking up all the air in the room.” She couldn’t figure out why she was coming across as intimidating to some people. So, the lemon is the part that sucks. These people were intimidated by what they couldn’t relate to. They felt like they couldn’t be on the level of leadership that was in front of them. The lesson for Tina was learning how to speak to the room. And this didn’t mean she softened her message or toned anything down, it was a matter of being able to trust herself enough and feel safe enough in her own expertise to reach out and connect to someone with where they were at.

Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

Tina acknowledges the fact that sometimes we can’t tell the difference between a real tiger and the paper tiger.  Our brains are a little behind in distinguishing between “I’m uncomfortable and I want to get used to this,” and what is dangerous and unbeneficial to you. Stepping back and reflecting on the challenges you are undertaking is the only way to tell the difference, whether it’s using a meditation practice or working with a professional. She finds that the key is allowing yourself to be curious and experiment. Curiosity is her favorite access point for change and development. Don’t let the paper tiger become an actual one. Be curious, bold, and don’t be afraid to trust yourself.

Links

StartSomethingPositive.com

Teresa de Grosbois is a four time international best-selling author and speaker sought by entrepreneurs and large corporations to share how local word of mouth can turn into epidemics. Her book Mass Influence hit #1 on the charts in North America and Europe on the same day it launched. She teaches business and marketing around the globe, including startups in developing countries. She leads an international invitation only council of speakers and influencers dedicated to teaching the principals of success and is a Cofounder of the Global influence Summit.

The Journey

Leadership is messy. Teresa can tell you this from firsthand experience. She came up through oil and gas in Canada where she took on a lot of leadership roles, but she was working in a space she didn’t really love. In what she calls affectionately “her really bad year” she had been pushed to the limit with the death of her father, a business ending, and a marriage on the rocks. She remembers sitting in the bathroom surrounded by tools with the intention of renovating the space, only to come to tears realizing she was what needed to be renovated. It was a moment that was painful, but it was also when she realized the outward trappings of success only go so far. It’s only when you do your inner work that you can become the leader that makes a contribution to the planet.

Defining Happiness and Influence

Teresa looks at how Aristotle wrote about happiness and divided it. Hedonistic happiness, or pursuits of the flesh, are the things that make you feel good, like coffee in your mug and those moments where we eat our favorite food. That is real happiness, but it’s not lasting happiness. Once that thing is gone the happiness is gone. Aristotle believed there was another kind of happiness though, one that comes from understanding your contributions to your community and society as a whole. This is the lasting kind of happiness we all seek. We still talk about this today, and Teresa is still amazed that the conversation started thousands of years ago with some of our earliest philosophers.

Influence is the tool one uses to make those contributions and affect the world in a lasting way. Do people know and trust you enough to take action based on your word and leadership? This is the core of influence, it’s the engine that drives change.

Evolutionary Business Council

Starting the EBC is one of the most rewarding, fun, messy and scary things she’s done. It was borne out of an “intervention” where other thought leaders called Teresa out on saying “Someday I will…” and really pushed her to follow through in organizing and leading some of the most influential change agents in the world. It took pushing back a lot of negative inner dialogue, and while the process was messy, Teresa has come to notice that some of the most worthwhile things in life are messy to obtain.

Links

Sign up (for free) and take Teresa’s 30 Day Influence Challenge

Massinfluencethebook.com