The Problem Was Me

Unfortunately, many men and even women are so afraid of intimacy they sabotage their own happiness by subconsciously pushing their partner away.

This approach begins with strengthening the most important relationship we have, the one we have with ourselves. We are the common denominator in all our relationships. The keys to healing and growth is building self- awareness so we can choose healthier actions with our partner and ourselves. Remember if we work on our relationship it will work as long as there is this commitment by both parties. This podcast will provide the tools and a blue print to make this happen. The willingness to take this direction has to come from you the listener.

Watch https://www.transformationtalkradio.com/watch.html 

Addiction and Intimacy: The Missing Link | The Problem Was Me with Tom Gagliano: Break the cycle of negative thinking leading to addiction, infidelity, & self-sabotage

90% of addicts begin their addiction before the age of. This presentation will reaffirm that without healthy emotional connection in childhood, the individual will trust addiction as their coping mechanism instead of trusting people.

Join Tom as he is interviewed by Robb Thompson of Lifestyle 360 Podcast. Tom has worn many hats throughout his career. As a young man, he soon became a successful entrepreneur with a proven track record in small business ventures in the greater New York area. Tom has also been a high profile leader in addiction and self-help therapy. He helped develop unique methods and procedures which have helped numerous institutions and individuals with anxiety and addiction issues.

In This Episode:

• Why our society today is riddled with anxiety and depression
• How communication has this led to distorted values and cultivated an anxiety-ridden society
• What we can do to escape perfectionism and the feelings of sadness and inferiority
• How social media has played a part in contributing to this increasing problem
• What we can do as parents, mentors and leaders to help future generations combat the outside messages

This podcast is not about criticizing anyone’s parents. Rather its important to build enough awareness to know which messages we received in our childhood that have helped us in our lives and recognize which messages need to be challenged in order to enhance our happiness. By building self- awareness we can then look at those upswept corners of our lives through clearer lenses. This, in turn, will help us identify and understand our strengths and weaknesses in all our relationships. Especially the most important relationship we have, which is the one we have with ourselves. As we learn to manage any and all intrusive messages in childhood we can then stop these messages from guiding our behaviors. This podcast will provide the tools needed to stay to do this as well supplying the ways to stay on track.    

The podcast will discuss the similarities and differences between sex addiction and other addictions. Through out all of my podcast, childhood messages will be discussed as the key ingredient towards healthy adulthood. In addiction, neurons that are fused together in childhood will stay together in adulthood, and acted out with various addictions. The podcast will explain the steps needed for the addict to heal and the reason why sex addiction, namely pornography, is and will continue to be the most powerful addiction we have today. This podcast will demonstrate how both addictions have similar underlying qualities, but also provide the difference in the healing process for sex addiction. Due to the stigma of sex addiction, both in and out of twelve step rooms, the shame and understanding of ‘triggers’ must be handled in a different manner than other addictions.

We are not responsible for our childhood wounds but we are responsible to heal them or at least manage them if we are to find happiness in  our lives.

The release of the documentary, Leaving Neverland, has triggered an important conversation regarding sexual abuse. Including Oprah Winfrey stating, “Stop staring into the sun and do what is necessary to heal our children and heal ourselves.” This documentary awakened feelings in my own journey in recovery. In this podcast I will not give an opinion on whether or not Michael Jackson did the things he is accused of. Rather, this podcast will discuss the steps I’ve taken and the ways I’ve helped others manage and heal their childhood traumas.

We are not responsible for our childhood wounds or abuses but we are responsible for healing or at least learning how to manage our wounds in order to find peace in our lives. It takes tremendous courage to look under those unswept corners of our lives, but unless we do we may be committing suicide by installments never allowing the love of others to enter into our world. I have a Masters Degree in Social Work and a best selling author but what you’ll hear in this podcast is the way I learned to manage my own demons, to finally find peace in my life,  and to help others do the same.

Healing is an ongoing process of self-determination and self-discipline. While the rewards are not always immediate, beautiful gifts await if you are patient and can take direction. Not until we stop denying our own past and begin sharing our wounds, will we allow ourselves to be loved by other people.

The common problems we face are from unhealed childhood wounds that have remained buried and eventually come back to haunt us. Only when we permit the window into our past to be opened, exposing the core of our adult difficulties, can we begin the healing process.

Sometimes we act in ways that do not always make sense as we hurt ourselves and others. We feel compelled to listen to the destructive inner voice in our head. Making sense of our actions is like figuring out a jigsaw puzzle.  The first step is to seek help in order to understand what is broken inside.

As we increase self-awareness we can better understand the choices we need to take to better our lives. If we maintain these actions we then develop healthy habits, which will bring healthy boundaries and intimacy into our lives.  All of these ingredients need to become a WE process instead of a ME process. This means we need the help of others as we walk through this journey together.