The Proximity Process

I'm excited to bring you the third installment of an ongoing conversation with Ryan O'Donnell. Ryan embodies the idea of systems change starting with personal transformation. In previous episodes we hear about how Ryan went from being a tech entrepreneur, to foster parent, to former foster parent, to advocate for one parent, and ultimately advocate and activist for parents. In this episode, we get an update on what is happening with Garnell and his son (who was placed with Ryan) and what Ryan is up to now. Since our last episode, Ryan has launched a new company called Sunlight and its first product, Your Case Plan (YCP). YCP is being designed for parent defense attorneys to equip them with software that can help them better represent their clients and ultimately win in the courtroom. The first version of YCP is being launched and tested through the Oklahoma Office of Family Representation.

To learn more about Sunlight and Your Case Plan you can visit their website. Introducing Sunlight

Read Ryan's blog about founding Sunlight. Our Founding Story

To learn more about the Oklahoma Office of Family Representation you can visit their website. Oklahoma Office of Family Representation

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We have two options to make this community accessible. We meet every Monday at 9am ET and 9am PT (12pm ET). You can join the club by filling out this contact form.  Proximity Podcast Club - Google Forms

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

This week's episode was prompted by a quote I read in the book, Buddhism Without Beliefs, by Stephen Batchelor. The chapter on imagination began with this quote, "A talent for speaking differently, rather than arguing well, is the chief instrument of cultural change." In other words, we create change by first seeing a different future in our mind's eye and then speaking that vision out loud. This is very different from arguing about what is or has been, it's about declaring what can and will be in the future. I talk about how this approach of speaking differently applies to our ongoing conversation about Termination of Parental Rights, and how it can apply to anything that we may be working on. I lay out five steps that I've seen work for me and others that moves us from imagining and describing the future, to taking action, and then learning and iterating. I also reference a great resource, which is linked below, that can help us develop the skills of generative communication and declarations. I end the episode with a few journal prompts. 

Journal Prompts

• What do I want to declare? 
• Who am I without the work? 
• Who am I? 

Generative Communication e-book: Generative-Language-2021

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We now have two options to make this community accessible to more people. We meet every Monday at 9am ET and starting on July 26th we'll add a 9am PT/12pm ET group. You can join the club by filling out this contact form.  Proximity Podcast Club - West - Google Forms

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

This week's episode is a conversation with my coach, Brendalyn King. Brendalyn is a talented ontological leadership coach, an experienced entrepreneur, and one of the more influential people in my process. I wanted to talk to Brendalyn about the recurring question that comes up for so many of us, should I stay, or should I go? This isn't just a question about whether or not we should leave a job, or if we can make more of an impact within the system or outside of it. This is a much deeper question about our purpose and how we want to make an impact during our lives. We talk about this question from the spiritual, emotional, and practical perspectives. We pull from our own experiences throughout the conversation and offer tools, practices, and insights that Brendalyn uses in her work as a coach. 

If you would like to learn more about Brendalyn's work you can visit the Bhavana Learning Group website. Bhavana Learning Group

Brendalyn also shared the following resources. 

Your Future is a Declaration Away
Generative Communication pt.1
Generative Communication pt.2
ebook-Generative-Language-2021

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We now have two options to make this community accessible to more people. We meet every Monday at 9am ET and starting on July 26th we'll add a 12pm ET group. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

In this week's journal episode, I share the origin story of my search for the world's best chocolate chip cookie. This is not the first time I've been on this search. Sometime around 2007 I found the best cookie in the world and the search was over. When I left my job in 2022, I began to reflect on how I was living my life and decided to map the different dimensions of who I am to see where I was compromising myself. I talk about my process, what I realized, and why it led me to return to the search for the world's best chocolate chip cookie. Spoiler alert, the best cookie from 2007 has yet to be dethroned. Tune in to find out where you can find that cookie. And, if you have a contender, please let me know. This time, the search continues....

I end the episode with a few journal prompts that you might find helpful, which I'll include here. 

• Am I living a life that is a full expression of all of who I am? 
• Am I compromising parts of who I am? 
• Is this how I want to be? 
• Are there parts of who I am that I want to invest in and express more? 

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We meet every Monday morning at 9am est. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

In this episode I talk with Dave Newell who is the CEO of Akin in Seattle, WA. Akin is a new organization (kind of) that formed as the result of a merger of two 100+ year old organizations, Children's Home Society of Washington and Childhaven. I wanted to talk with Dave about his vision for the future of Akin and how he hopes to seize the opportunity to not simply merge two organizations into a larger one but to create a new organization all together. We talk about how they aspire to lead with a start-up mentality, let go of programs that don't align with their vision, and move beyond impact through programs. This is a great conversation for any organizational leader who aspires to use their position of power to not simply steward organizational legacy but to re-imagine how the organization can advance healing and justice.

For more information about Akin you can visit their website. Home - akin

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We meet every Monday morning at 9am est. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

Today's episode is much more personal and emotional that most. I recorded this on the four-year anniversary of losing my cousin and friend, Patrick. I wanted to honor him and our relationship. I also tell the story of how Patrick's death led to me and "Tex" (this show's producer) reconnecting after 10-12 years. In that one phone call, we sparked a creative partnership that has led to three podcasts and developed a meaningful friendship that extends well beyond these shows. The reflections I share remind me of why it's so important to develop the skill of self-awareness and the emotional ingredients of humility, curiosity, and adaptability. Our future is constantly emerging and if we recognize it and act on it, we can live a life that is aligned with who we truly are. 

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We meet every Monday morning at 9am est. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

Today's conversation with Maleeka Jihad (MJ) dives into the difference between whiteness (white ideology), white identity, and humanity. MJ is the Executive Director of the MJCF: Coalition and runs a consulting business. She's also earning her PhD in Leadership and Development and Social Change. When we first met, she was co-facilitating a training I attended and in one of the breakout sessions she said, "your whiteness is not connected to your humanity." It was one of those comments that stays with you and has a real impact. I wanted to have this conversation to better understand the difference between my whiteness as an ideology that contributes to the harms of racism and my white identity. We also talked about how we can begin to move out of our whiteness, into our humanity, and begin to express ourselves through empathy, kindness and love for one another. 

If this episode sparked your curiosity and you want to learn more, here are a few resources that MJ shared. Unfortunately, I was not able to provide links. 

• The Social Construction of Whiteness: Racism by Intent, Racism by Consequence, Teresa J Guess
• White Identities: Historical and International Perspectives, Alastair Bonnett
• The Primacy of Anit-Blackness, Adam Bledsoe 

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We meet every Monday morning at 9am est. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

I recorded this week's journal episode about 15 minutes after the weekly Proximity Podcast Club ended. I had a plan for this week's episode but the conversation that played out in the Podcast Club changed my plan. One of our goals for this show is to use it as a platform to build community and then have conversations with that community that help people progress in their own process. The Podcast Club is a big part of how we do this. And one of our new members, Zabrina, prompted a new idea of using the Podcast Club as a community workshopping space. In other words, members bring a specific topic to the Club and engage the group in a conversation that raises critical questions, offers new perspectives, reality tests ideas, provides a mirror, etc. We did this for the first time with Zabrina and it was incredibly valuable, it is something we will continue to do. Zabrina was workshopping a keynote she is preparing and I end the episode with four things to consider when communicating a message to 1,000 people in a keynote or the 5 people who work on your team. Having one key message that you want to leave people with is one of the key elements.

 You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We meet every Monday morning at 9am est. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

In our first conversation with Vivek Sankaran, we talked about the morality, necessity, and constitutionality of Terminating Parental Rights. At the end of the conversation, he mentioned that he would be presenting two TPR cases to the Michigan Supreme Court in May. That has happened and, in this episode, we hear from Vivek about how it went, what he learned about where we are in the conversation to eliminate or dramatically reduce the use of TPR, and where we need to go next. Vivek directs the Child Advocacy Law Clinic and the Child Welfare Appellate Clinic at the University of Michigan Law School.

You can watch the livestream of Vivek presenting his case to the Michigan Supreme Court.  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tgF3NdQXUU0

You can learn more about Vivek and his work here.  Vivek S. Sankaran | University of Michigan Law School

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We meet every Monday morning at 9am est. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn

We're doing something new! We decided to bring back episode one, which goes into a bit of my origin story! We've added a lot of new listeners over the past couple of months and I thought it would be a good idea to reintroduce myself and the inspiration for the show. And, quite honestly, it's helpful to take a pause from producing new episodes every week. We'll be back with a new episode next week. 

Episode one gets into some of my process and how I came to realize that I had a proximity problem and wasn't in right relationship with myself and the people I serve. The episode starts with a story from July 2022 that was the tipping point when I decided to leave my job of 11 years. This decision took me even deeper into my own process of seeing the system as harmful and myself as a perpetrator of harm. This episode was recorded in the summer of 2023 and the work is unfinished, my process continues. My longtime friend, and producer of the show, Michael (Tex) interviews me in this episode.  

You are invited to join the Proximity Podcast Club, a growing community of people supporting one another through their process of becoming who they want to be in this work. We meet every Monday morning at 9am est. Message me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn for the meeting link.

Please connect with me, Matt Anderson, on LinkedIn - Matt Anderson | LinkedIn