In this episode, I’m sharing one of the most personal stories of my life—the story of chasing a dream with everything I had, and still falling short. For over 20 years, I dedicated my life to music. I performed in stadiums, had songs on the radio, worked with Def Jam, wrote for Isaac Hayes’ label, got featured on Trina’s first album, and even had a shot with Sony Europe. I went from freestyle battles in Ohio to recording in studios where legends like Busta Rhymes and Lil’ Kim were just down the hall.
But even with all that momentum, I never “made it.” At least not in the way I had hoped.
I wasn’t lazy. I showed up. I sacrificed. I was first in and last out of the studio. I dropped everything for the chance to be heard. But life has a way of humbling you, especially when your dream becomes unsustainable. I found myself broke, burned out, raising kids, and still being pulled back into something that wasn’t working. Eventually, I had to walk away. And it broke me.
I even joined the Army just to escape the temptation to go back.
I talk about what that kind of loss does to your spirit, how it creates fear around trying new things, and how it made it hard for me to commit to any other career path—even though I’ve tried nearly everything. From welding and web development to SEO and insurance sales, I’ve done it all. But nothing ever filled the space that music once held.
If you’ve ever given your all to something—your art, your business, your dream—and it didn’t work out, I want you to hear this: You are not a failure. That experience still matters. You still have something inside you, even if the world didn’t give you the title, the contract, or the money.
I’m learning that the pain of failure doesn’t mean the end. Sometimes it just means it’s time to shift. To evolve. To take what you learned and use it in a new way. And that’s what this episode is about—turning failure into something that still has value.
You’re not alone. And we don’t have to stay stuck in the past.
Let’s find a way forward—together.
—Lois Lane Miami 💜
The Purple Kool-Aid Podcast
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