The Purpose Mastermind: Helping Leaders Get Unstuck and Live with Meaning in Work, Marriage, and Parenting

This episode is rated RI...for risky and intense.    
How does a man live his best bold life? 

1. Have something worth fighting for. 
 Behaving is not a fight worth fighting for. 

2. Have a God-sized dream.
A large retirement account is not a dream. 

Part 2 of this recording will come out in our next episode. 

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In this episode Mark has a conversation with a Rocky Lalvani. Rocky and his wife have raised two kids that are thriving. He shares insights into how he thought about money and education. 

Early on, Rocky was concerned because he saw kids that were raised in a wealthy family, but they ended up becoming very entitled adults. These kids grew up and had no initiative of their own. Rocky's wisdom is practical but deep. 

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On this episode, Mark interviews Joshua Norman. Joshua was part of a national championship at the University of Oklahoma, and went on to play in the NFL. 

Today, he is no longer living out those dreams. Instead he is living out bigger dreams. He shares about how he found real identity and powerful purpose. Clearly, his best days are not behind him. His story will inspire you to live out your story. 

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A marriage can feel completely dead. There can seem to be nothing that has enough power to overcome the things that have stolen the life out of it. 

Feels like you are trapped. It feels like it is going to hurt the rest of your life. You wonder how it will impact the kids. Do I just have to live like a zombie in this for the rest of my life? What do I do with this part of me that wants to experience great love? Do I just live with frustration and emptiness with this part of my heart? 

Wrong solution
1. Focusing on the marriage problems. (money, sex, the past, infedelity, lust, pornography) 

2. Focusing on the past. We think that if we unravel the past, our marriage will change. Seems right. But how far do you need to unravel? What things need to be unraveled? When will we ever have proof that the past is unraveled? It’s an invisible force. 

Trying to change a marriage problem by focusing on it is like fighting over the casket you lay in. 

Many people try to get their marriage fixed by arguing about their grave clothes. 

Solution 

Marriages don’t change. People change. And when people change, the marriage changes. 

Who needs to change? Me! 

1. My behavior is not what needs to change. My spouses behavior is not what needs to change. How I think is what needs to change. This causes change in behavior. 
2. Before a resurrection there needs to be a death. Death of selfishness, pride, our instinct to protect ourself. Our pride causes us to see the problem in other people but not see how we are helping to cause it. Our selfishness causes us to want what we want but not give to someone else what they need. 

The purpose mastermind guides people through 8 simple, fun conversations…simple actions steps….to bring powerful change. 

The result

You can stop being afraid of the past. Stop fearing that it is going to jump out from under the bed and get you. 

You realize that the problem that was showing up in your marriage was showing up in other areas of your life and holding you back. (kids, occupation) So, you get life change in several areas. 

You can start living the life you were made for! 

Markdelaney.com

918-401-9608

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There are a couple of hurdles for every man to overcome. 
1. Can he be open with people? 

2. Can he be the kind of man that other men can be open with? 

A man can live his entire life and not be open to share his thoughts and struggles with others.
In this episode Mark sits down with Stephen Gunn and they tell a story about a conversation they had at the gym. 

From their story, there are insights into how a man can connect with other people. 

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In this episode Mark sits down with his youngest son, Andrew, and they discuss how one conversation changed a young man. Important conversation often feel awkward before they happen, but as soon as they start they feel much more normal. 

The ability to start an awkward conversation is probable a superpower. Notice, the ability to "start" an awkward conversation is a superpower. Conversations often lose the awkwardness once we start them. 

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It is very frustrating to have a problem and not know how to fix it. It is especially hard when we think we know the right way, and we try with all our heart, but it doesn't change. 

When it comes to marriage, this can happen so much. 
Consider this:

• Instinct says, "Something is wrong with my marriage and it is threatening me."

But what if the following is actually the truth?

• "There is something wrong with me and it is threatening my marriage."

In this episode, Mark tells the story of a couple that was in a bad spot. Their struggle is common, but so is their transformation. 

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Mark and Adena sit down for a conversation for people that are facing a time of crisis in their life. Adena draws on her experience of helping young people through the crisis of middle school math class. 

Many junior high students felt the common feeling of hating math and feeling like a loser. The response they had was similar to the response that all of us have toward struggle. What if the only change needed was a change in perspective? What if, instead of the problem changing, we change. And when we change...we change the problem? 

It can feel like our life is held hostage until the problem changes. But it won't. But when we change...we cause the problem to change. Adena had a simple process for helping students in crisis. 
1. She helped people understand where they are. More importantly, she helped them understand that it's ok. Where you are is ok!
2. She helped them take a step in the right direction. The change in mindset caused by the first step enabled the person to begin to take simple steps. Simple steps lead to change. 

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In this episode Mark interviews a young man about the movie "Braveheart." Can a man live "in the fight?" 

Similar to the great speech about "The Man in the Arena," the movie Braveheart speaks to a man that wants to live for something bigger than himself. Is it possible in this modern world? If so, how can a man do it? 

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Where do you feel like you are living your life?

• Some people live in the stands. Life feels like we are just spectators of the life that others are living. 
• Some people live on the sidelines. Life feels like I am always a step away from where I want to be. 
• Some people live on the field of play. They are in the game. They will win and they will lose, but they are in the game. 

This episode is about how to get back into the game.

• Have teammates
• Play injured
• Understand how impact is made
• Clarify your purpose

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