A truly vintage episode in which we actually just quibble for an hour. For example: Do wizards think banks and mines are the same thing? Has Ron seen Borat? If goblins have this extremely handy Thief's Downfall thing for detecting bank robbers, why not put it … at … the entrance? Is Hermione just totally asleep at the wheel here or does she actually think this broke-ass Ocean's Four nonsense will succeed? Why does Griphook open doors so weird? Do they murder Travers?

This week chapter: Gringotts

Next week's chapter: The Final Hiding Place

It's the spookiest Halloween in a long, long, long time, so we're rewarding (?) you all with a long, long, LONG final episode of The Nibbler. Seriously this thing is gargantuan. What did we even talk about? Dust motes? Child brides? Eternal sleeplessness? Accidentally becoming full, un-ironic fans of this series despite the fact that it barely qualifies as having a plot? ALL OF IT AND MORE. Plus: Freaked out forgers, vampire fat acceptance, unqualified obstetricians, and more, more more.

This week: Twilight Breaking Dawn (Part 2)

Next week: Gringotts

The One Where We Alienate Most of our Remaining Listeners Who Still Like Harry Potter. Kidding-ish, but this is the first one recorded post-Rowling screed(s), so yeah, we get into it a bit. Also, some of Bill's best friends are goblins, heterosexual marriage cures Lupin of … being old and tired? and Ron makes every bad-faith devil's advocate argument you could ever hope to find on Reddit. And we learn about art history a little bit!

This week's chapter: Shell Cottage

Next week's chapter: Gringott's

We very irrationally still call these "minis," but at any rate, let's ease back into the Potterverse by discussing the surprisingly fun—considering all the death, despair, camping, etc.—first installment of the Deathly Hallows films! This week, the Grangers are definitely about a month from being charged with murdering their daughter; two Death Eaters go deep undercover in coveralls; Ron has bad-news snowblindness; Lucius loses his very cool and manly wand-holder thingie; and Dobby Voice ruins Dobby. Plus: A really ill-advised wedding!

This week: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

Next week: Shell Cottage

OK, so we're (still) doing this. We recorded before a lot of real-world shit went down, which is just the way of things these days, but we still managed to talk about Ibram X. Kendi and class warfare. Very on-brand. Also this week, Ron eulogizes poorly; Fleur-ence Nightingale nurses an enormous number of people back to health; Griphook expresses correct and healthy skepticism of so-called "ally" wizards; and Greg uses the elder wand for SEO. Damn it, Greg. Plus: Grief.

This week's chapter: The Wandmaker

Next Week: Movie Mini for Deathly Hallows Pt. 1

As promised, and because you gorgeous people raised THOUSANDS of dollars in the last 2 weeks for bail funds, criminal justice reform, affordable legal services, community health organizations, local and national Black Lives Matter affiliates, and more, here are all the summaries of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, spliced together. Here's what we learned: 1) WOW the early audio was bad; how did anyone get through this? 2) We used to do these way faster, and with remarkably few line-by-line dialogue recreations. 3) Buh-buh-buh motherf*ing was a Book 2 innovation.

In which we finally and totally dispense with the notion that these are chapter "summaries." So much Manor action, so little time! This week, Fenrir stirs up some stereotypes, Bellatrix has a "cool girl villain" accessory, Death Eater Nation is essentially a failed state, Scabbers finally snuffs it, and Dobby dies with his socks on. Plus: Draco Malfoy, Meme Lord.

This week's chapter: Malfor Manor

Next week's chapter: The Wandmaker

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! Let's talk teachers. Why are the best lessons in the entire series taught by a supervillain? Why does Hagrid get to just like, introduce monsters and see what happens? Why doesn't everyone have to take arithmency, which seems like wizard math? Be honest, is astronomy really astrology, and if so, can I sign up? How does Ron know how to write his name? Why isn't there art class? Who in god's name put Albus Dumbledore in charge? Is anyone reviewing these lesson plans? Plus: Our favorite teachers, IRL.

This episode is dedicated to the memory of the inimitable and unforgettable Paul Lowes. Rest peacefully, pal.

This episode is a lot of us patting ourselves on the back about how good podcasts are. Not ours, necessarily; mostly Lee Jordan's. We would for sure listen to his podcast. This week, Hermione gets an iota of the credit she's due; Harry has hallows mania; Remus has an extremely underwhelming alias; Ron sort of agrees with everyone; and Alex lectures us on strong passwords. Plus: Very little talk about the Virus that Must Not be Named.

This week's chapter: The Deathly Hallows

Next week's chapter: Malfoy Manor

Podcasting in the time of pestilence … hope you're all hanging in there and prepared to use some of your potentially ample alone time to TALK ABOUT DEATH. Sorry, the timing of this one is weird, but yeah, it's a lot about death. And what shoes Death might wear. And what pants. And impossible moral choices in times of crisis. And the need to believe in something. And Patrick Stewart, a bit. Plus: Does Hermione actually believe in magic?

This week's chapter: The Tale of the Three Brothers

Next week's chapter: The Deathly Hallows