The Re-engineered You

Everyone wants a job with meaning that also pays the bills. Is that even possible in the current economy?

This week we tackle a deceptively simple question: what jobs are the most emotionally fulfilling, and why don’t most of us have them already? We start by discussing the trials and tribulations of small business owners (allegedly the most fulfilled middle class workers in America) before we pivot into a deeper discussion about the nature of work. What makes one job feel like an empty grind, whereas the same job across the street feels like a calling?

To answer some of our quantifiable questions we’ll also dig into studies ranking the most and least fulfilling jobs in America. Spoiler: the highest-rated careers aren’t always the best paid. From clergy members to firefighters to physical therapists and teachers, we explore why people in some of the hardest or lowest-paying jobs often report the highest life satisfaction.

Today’s episode is not just about passion for work, it’s about purpose, human connection, and being able to see the impact of your work in real time. And if we don’t feel we have purpose, then how do we reconnect the meaning in our current job? Or is the only answer to blow it all up and start over?

Links:

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/most-rewarding-careers

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/these-are-the-most-fulfilling-jobs-in-america

https://www.bestcolleges.com/blog/happiest-jobs/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/11/22/most-fulfilling-jobs-america-may-not-be-ones-you-expect/

https://money.usnews.com/careers/best-jobs/rankings/the-100-best-jobs

As humans we need each other...desperately. Yet we can’t help rank each other, measure each other, and compare each other. Today we’ll dig into that instinct.

In the breakout Netflix documentary, Crip Camp, we see the inception of the Americans with Disabilities Act, and the protests that eventually led up to it. But we’re focused on what would have otherwise been a minor anecdote in a grander movement. How during the first mass meeting of disabled high-schoolers in the history of America, those who had every incentive to be inclusive and accepting couldn’t help but rank each other.

To dig into this we talk about the psychological difference between Shame and Guilt, and we discuss some rather surprising findings about how much guilt is actually healthy for us to experience. The also talk about some of the positive impacts of gossip and other social grooming methods, the origins of the high-five, and finally we discuss why negative behaviors like hatred and fear continue to spread, even if we know they’re morally or factually wrong. Is behavior a virus? If so, what behaviors are you allowing yourself to catch like a nasty cold?

History Links:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crip_Camp https://www.respectability.org/2019/01/shabbat-smile-terumah-by-neil-jacobson/

http://nda.ie/Publications/Attitudes/Appropriate-Terms-to-Use-about-Disability/

https://www.includenyc.org/content/perspectives-the-problem-with-the-disability-hierarchy

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/guest-of-honor-booker-t-washington-theodore-roosevelt-and-the-white-house-dinner-that-shocked-a-nation-by-deborah-davis/2012/08/17/f27db832-db09-11e1-bd1f-8f2b57de6d94_story.html

Science Links:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-scientific-underpinnings-and-impacts-of-shame/

https://www.npr.org/2011/05/20/136465083/psst-the-human-brain-is-wired-for-gossip

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201705/the-science-behind-why-people-follow-the-crowd

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/anthropology-in-practice/the-science-of-social-pressure/

Last week a Burger King in Lincoln Nebraska became internet-famous when the entire staff walked out. Then it happened again, at a Hardees. And again at Wendys. What gives?

We’d like to take credit here at The Re-Engineered You for making the connection between the rash of restaurant walk-outs, and the record rates of unemployment benefits. But an angry congressman in North Carolina beat us to it, albeit in a more inflammatory way. He saw the empty lobby at Hardees and a sign in the window saying “Due To No Staff, WE ARE CLOSED” and he took to twitter, saying “This is what happens when you extend unemployment benefits too long.”

So that’s our entire episode today. We want to explore the myths and misinformation surrounding Covid unemployment rates - and why it might be harder for you to buy a Big Mac or Whopper in the coming months. Then we’ll discuss why our reaction, as a nation, to the fast-food walkouts might be all wrong. Whether it’s righteous indignation on behalf of the laborer, or condemnation for those claiming unemployment benefits. We’ll also explore the landscape of wages in America, and how close this pandemic has come to proving “The Easterlin Paradox”. Then we’ll try to find a silver lining under this pandemic - a little hope for future workers of America - by looking at how the economy could rebound.

History:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/akgy7a/we-all-quit-how-americas-workers-are-taking-back-their-power

https://fortune.com/2016/11/08/china-automation-jobs/

https://slate.com/business/2017/07/why-cant-americans-get-a-raise.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_home_front_during_World_War_II

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easterlin_paradox

https://www.foxbusiness.com/economy/stimulus-coronavirus-fears-labor-market-shortage

Science:

https://apnews.com/article/unemployment-health-pandemics-coronavirus-pandemic-business-1a44620557abcc82d57a29e572939de9#:~:text=The%20government's%20report%20Thursday%20showed,former%20recipients%20have%20found%20jobs.

https://economics.mit.edu/covid19policy https://www.ziprecruiter.com/blog/states-offering-return-to-work-bonuses/

If your partner never touches another person—but shares their secrets and their soul—is it still cheating?

This week we dive into one of the messiest, most misunderstood corners of modern relationships: emotional infidelity. We start with a hard look at the gray areas of cheating; how modern dating apps, texting habits, and even inside jokes with coworkers can blur the line between friendship and betrayal. We’ll also share our own stories of emotional infidelity, and whether we got over them, or left our partners for someone more invested.

From there, we trace the psychology behind emotional cheating and ask: why do people who would never dream of having an affair still end up falling for someone else emotionally? Is it a sign that something is broken at home, or just human nature clashing with the pressure of long-term relationships? We’ll look at studies showing how emotional intimacy can trigger the same feelings of jealousy, abandonment, and betrayal as physical cheating, and how these emotional affairs often hurt worse than just sex, because they leave us feeling that maybe we’re not good enough as a person to keep our partner tethered to us.

Finally, we’ll explore the long-term impact. Can emotional infidelity actually sabotage our health, career, and social life? Why do the people who feel the most secure in their relationship sometimes fall hardest into emotional cheating? And what should couples ask each other to strengthen their bond, before someone starts hiding their phone and laughing at text messages?

Links:

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/emotional-cheating

https://www.thecouplescenter.org/what-is-emotional-cheating-how-to-recover/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/01/emotional-infidelity-the-devastating-destructive-love-affairs-that-involve-no-sex-at-all

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-infidelity

https://www.vogue.com/article/emotional-cheating

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/el9rwj/cmv_there_is_no_such_thing_as_emotional_cheating/

Are human minds capable of coping with social media? Political polarization, teen bullying, rising depression...no wonder our ability to ‘social network’ responsibly has come under question.

The internet is a wonderful place, full of knowledge, resources, and funny cats. But it can also be a cesspool full of violent videos, nudity, racist propaganda, and bullying. Someone, somewhere has to clean up all that hateful garbage we don’t want to see. Which is where Cognizant - a group of underpaid contractors for Facebook - come in. On The Re-Engineered You, we’ll talk about a series of TheVerge articles by reporter Casey Newton. And we’ll ask the question: if contractors with access to proper training, experience, and cautionary seminars can’t handle the anxieties of the internet, what chance do the rest of us have?

In Part 2 of this two-parter, we’ll also look at the human cost of social media. We’ll discuss the Myanmar genocide that utilized Facebook to spread their hate message. And we’ll look at the rising depression and suicide rates, and try to find a reason other than social media for the historic mental health crisis we’re facing. Finally, we’ll talk about how to unplug from the social network in a way that won’t leave you feeling out of the loop, and away from your friends.

History Links:

https://www.theverge.com/2019/6/19/18681845/facebook-moderator-interviews-video-trauma-ptsd-cognizant-tampa

Science Links:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/15/technology/myanmar-facebook-genocide.html

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-46105934

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr69/NVSR-69-11-508.pdf?_ga=2.57817962.1595091322.1600113401-938738154.1600113401

https://www.healio.com/news/psychiatry/20201005/social-media-use-may-play-important-role-in-youth-suicide-expert-says

https://time.com/5550803/depression-suicide-rates-youth/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/petersuciu/2019/12/06/why-quitting-social-media-may-not-make-you-happier/?sh=5f06909a37c5

https://www.businessinsider.in/tech/news/heres-how-keeping-your-new-years-resolution-to-quit-facebook-twitter-and-instagram-could-change-your-life/articleshow/80095064.cms

Are human minds capable of coping with social media? Political polarization, teen bullying, rising depression...no wonder our ability to ‘social network’ responsibly has come under question.

The internet is a wonderful place, full of knowledge, resources, and funny cats. But it can also be a cesspool full of violent videos, nudity, racist propaganda, and bullying. Someone, somewhere has to clean up all that hateful garbage we don’t want to see. Which is where Cognizant - a group of underpaid contractors for Facebook - come in. On The Re-Engineered You, we’ll talk about a series of TheVerge articles by reporter Casey Newton. And we’ll ask the question: if contractors with access to proper training, experience, and cautionary seminars can’t handle the anxieties of the internet, what chance do the rest of us have?

In Part 1 of this two-parter, we’ll also look at the mechanisms and dopamine tricks that Facebook uses to keep us clicking and scrolling. We’ll investigate which ideas, precisely, rise to the top of the social media pile. And why lies seem to spread faster than the truth...because they do, according to science.

History Links:

https://www.theverge.com/2019/2/25/18229714/cognizant-facebook-content-moderator-interviews-trauma-working-conditions-arizona

Science Links:

https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2019/09/online-reviews-shoppers-believe-pretty-face

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gish_gallop#:~:text=The%20Gish%20gallop%20is%20a,or%20strength%20of%20those%20arguments.

https://qz.com/905252/donald-trumps-lies-are-all-part-of-a-debate-tactic-called-the-gish-gallop/ https://science.sciencemag.org/content/359/6380/

Having a child in America is the most expensive it’s ever been, historically, and state populations are shrinking for the first time. So why can’t we fix this?

Last week we talked about the elderly Americans who are quietly grieving a future without grandchildren. This week, we flip the lens and look at the cost, in dollars and cents, of becoming a parent for younger Americans. Because it turns out that raising kids isn’t just an emotional decision anymore—it’s a financial cliff. The ruling political party claims the ideal household is one two loving, working parents, an owned home, and grandparents who can help take care of the children…which, it turns out, is a shockingly low percent of us, far, far below replacement rates necessary to survive as a country.

This episode is all about the cold, hard census data surrounding the plummeting U.S. birthrate, and the hidden math behind America’s looming population crisis. What does it really cost to raise a child from birth to adulthood in 2025? Why are Millennials and Gen Z increasingly deciding that having kids is financially impossible? What kind of income would you need to afford even a single child without falling into poverty? (Spoiler: It’s a lot more than you’d think.)

We’ll also talk about the politicians on both sides who are offering unsustainable solutions: like praying that grandma can babysit eight hours a day indefinitely, or throwing money at the corporations driving up the cost of children in the first place. Then we’ll we shine a light on the one U.S. state that’s getting it right; the New Mexico childcare program, which is being funded through state land grants, and is already bringing up birthrates for their state.

Links:

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/economy/new-mexicos-free-child-care-program-bringing-relief-millions-us-famili-rcna176421

https://www.visualcapitalist.com/mapped-the-cost-of-raising-a-child-by-u-s-state/

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/10/09/millennial-moms-share-the-money-moves-they-made-before-having-kids.html

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/more-republicans-support-spending-on-child-care-saying-its-an-economic-issue

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/08/16/kamala-harris-child-tax-credit.html

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/08/12/jd-vance-trump-raise-child-tax-credit.html

Half of all adults say they can’t have children… So what happens to the boomers who realize they’ll never have grandkids?

This week we confront one of the most emotionally charged topics facing America’s aging population: the coming wave of “forever empty nesters.” Inspired by a viral New York Times article, The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent, we explore the profound generational divide around childbirth, parenting, and economic survival. While millions of Boomers quietly mourn the grandkids they’ll never meet, younger generations are too busy surviving debt, housing costs, and a crumbling job market to start families of their own.

In Part 1 of this two-part series, we take on the myths and the moral panic surrounding America's falling birthrate. Are Millennials and Gen Z really too selfish or “soft” to have kids? Or is it simply no longer economically possible? And what happens to America when the schools start to empty out, and family reunions start to look like BINGO night at the retirement home?

Links:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/11/well/family/grandparent-grandchild-childfree.html

https://www.buzzfeed.com/kelseyborresen/parents-not-having-kids-grandparent-grief

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ts7oWw_Ebs&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive

https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/generation-gaps/nope-boomers-xers-dont-work-harder-millennials.htm

https://brightside.me/articles/my-selfish-daughter-doesnt-want-to-have-kids-and-preserve-our-family-so-i-was-forced-to-have-babies-for-her-819648/

https://www.statista.com/statistics/999919/share-people-registered-vote-age/

https://www.cbpp.org/research/a-punishing-decade-for-school-funding

https://www.brookings.edu/articles/the-department-of-educations-budget-tug-of-war-congress-vs-presidents/

https://edlawcenter.org/research/600-billion-lost/

https://www.foxnews.com/us/us-births-notable-decrease-2023-marking-end-late-pandemic-rebound-experts-say

https://www.congress.gov/crs-product/R45184

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2024/20240525.htm

What can we pass on to our kids? What leaves a lasting effect, statistically? Money? Reputation? Reasoning skills…?

On recent episodes we’ve explored trust funds, affluency, and wealth insulation. So a natural stone for us to look under next: Legacy. What can we leave our kids? And, more importantly, what can we leave our kids that will be worthwhile in the generations to come?

In Part 2 we’ll look at one very specific aspect of Legacy: Talent. Can we pass on our talent through our children? Can we give our children special talent by sending them to expensive schools? Can we turn our children into sport legends by putting them on the field at an early age, or can we produce a Yo-Yo Ma by sending them to bed with a Cello every night? We’ll also ask the question: is it really unhealthy to live vicariously through our kids? What if we’re just...you know...really supportive, and our kids are really, really good at little league?

For historical context we’ll talk about Butch O’Hare, son of Easy Eddie, and how he defended an American aircraft carrier in WWII, solo, against a squadron of Japanese bombers. Then we’ll look at how Butch O’Hare met his end during a heroic mission.

History Links:

https://www.sportscasting.com/todd-marinovich-admits-robo-qb-upbringing-contributed-to-his-life-of-drugs-prison/
https://www.si.com/nfl/2019/01/11/todd-marinovich-dad-marv-quarterback-drugs-rehab
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R23k6l8Pj-E

Science Links:

https://qz.com/317570/making-your-kid-play-organized-sports-could-cost-them-their-creativity/
https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/science-says-there-is-a-surprising-upside-to-living-vicariously-through-your-kids-unfortunately-theres-a-major-downside-too.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_parenting#Views_on_success_and_achievement

What can we pass on to our kids? What leaves a lasting effect, statistically? Money? Reputation? Reasoning skills…?

On recent episodes we’ve explored trust funds, affluency, and wealth insulation. So a natural stone for us to look under next: Legacy. What can we leave our kids? And, more importantly, what can we leave our kids that will be worthwhile in the generations to come?

In Part 1 we’ll discuss the money side Legacy. We’ll take a look at national statistics for inherited businesses, trust funds, and the mega-wealthy Scrooge McDucks who leave their kids mountains of cash...and how quickly that gets spent. We’ll also look at family reputation, and look at the psychology of growing up in a successful or popular parent’s shadow.

For historical context we’ll be covering the death of an infamous mob lawyer - Easy Eddie - and how his sacrifice might have paved the way for his son to become one of the greatest military heroes of WWII...and eventually have an airport named after him.

History Links:

https://allthatsinteresting.com/butch-ohare-easy-eddie

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2018/12/26/the-incredible-life-and-terrible-death-of-the-navys-first-world-war-ii-ace/

https://www.stlmag.com/The-Butch-OHare-Story/

Science Links:

https://hbr.org/2012/01/avoid-the-traps-that-can-destroy-family-businesses

https://www.newretirement.com/retirement/average-inheritance-how-much-are-retirees-leaving-to-heirs

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/one-in-three-americans-who-get-an-inheritance-blow-it-2015-09-03

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/what-its-really-like-to-have-a-trust-fund.html

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/heres-why-90-of-rich-people-squander-their-fortunes-2017-04-23

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-parents-influence-kids-popularity-2017-8