Groceries and one other item are what would be reasonably classed as a fundamental necessity to life - whereby price becomes of little object. Because without food and this one other specific item.... what is there? Well we'll get to that. First we are welcoming Brooke back from Sydney and back to dry land; and Alana back from her big fat family reunion with lots of fun tales and food recommendations to share. Setting the record straight, we are firm on the side of the hard copy - specifically Elle mag (and still desperately looking for some wedding mags to pore over with a martini (or marg...?)

Recommendations:

• Take it or leave it read: Love & Virtue by Diana Reid
• Read: A certain hunger by Chelsea G Summers
• and if you can snag anything left - hit the sale of the century https://www.wardrobe.nyc/pages/woman

What's short, awkward and a little bit tipsy? Obviously this episode... it's just two best friends answering your hot little questions about us. No spoilers, but rest assured, there's some relationship, some shopping, some history and a couple of very dirty martinis involved. A lot different and very fun to record - enjoy!

Interestingly the title of this episode is not at all reflective of its contents (aside from a hilarious 1 minute tale). We're reflecting on high school makeup looks - the day to day double wear and the failed formal faces. A lot has changed since then (mostly the shift from full coverage to skin tint) and we're confident that as grown 30somethings we're in a good place to run you through our holy grail makeup products. Remember, for things that don't work out for you, you can return your purchases - for now...

The episode is full of recommendations but for ritual's sake:

• Brookey's rug https://missamara.com.au/products/cabanela-cream-and-beige-distressed-washable-rug?variant=39369377710152
• Alana's scrubby hand soap https://www.aesop.com/au/p/body-hand/hand-and-body-gifts/reverence-aromatique-hand-wash/
• Watch: Expats on Prime
• Watch: Fargo S5 on SBS
• Watch: Love is Blind on Netflix

It's always love island time for Brookey; but this week was vacation island time for Alana - so we have to unpack both (though of course the suitcase will remain on the floor until every item makes its way to the laundry basket). Brookey also travelled solo to Sydney and had a delightful dinner for one. Taylor Swift travelled to Vegas to watch the men's fashion runway for some football activity and Usher scooted and sweat his way around on stage. It's February and we don't feel bad about breaking everyone's potential resolutions, because we have a better approach to the year - listen up!

Recommendations:

• Watch: Rupaul's drag race
• Watch: MAFS
• Read: One day we're all going to die by Elise Esther Hearst
• Read: Raised by wolves by Jess Ho

Some commitments are easy, like a new season of Vanderpump Rules or who you're going to back in Megan the Stallion v Nicki Minaj. Others, like a skin care routine, a tattoo, or furniture shopping, are harder to lean into. But rather than live with the repercussions of a bad skin care treatment or live in a semi-finished apartment for 12 months - we're doing our best to make big decisions (whether they're right or wrong... stay tuned). Alana's shopping for vacation and Brookey is still hunting for bedside tables, but here are some recommendations so far:

• Brooke's skirt https://www.st-agni.com/products/bias-slip-skirt-black?_pos=1&_sid=5da40b3f5&_ss=r
• Alana's dress https://sirthelabel.com/products/azul-gathered-mini-ice-blue
• Read: Outback and Paradise by Patricia wolf
• Watch: Indian Matchmaking

Gone are the delulu manifestation barbies; the new life goal is to be a really well managed Sim. Alana has the nightclub extension pack installed and is living life. Meanwhile Brooke has gotten engaged (wait, what) and spent the last week deep in couture week and we're deconstructing the Schiaparelli; Gaultier; Margiela looks that were serving the return of fashion to the world. Fashion is back baby! Evidently bubble skirts are too - we're on the fence, because we are strong opinions loosely held and often wrong. Perhaps a bubble wedding dress in our future?

A couple of less interesting events took place - hottest 100 and the AO - we don't have a lot of expertise to share but still happy to talk smack about everyone and everything.

Recommendations:

• Ksubi jeans via glue store (not these but love these) https://www.gluestore.com.au/products/relax-jeans-in-heritage-blue
• Brooke's loafers https://www.dior.com/en_au/fashion/products/KDB862ACA_S900-dior-boy-platform-loafer-black-brushed-calfskin
• Alana's R&Co hack https://www.davidjones.com/product/r-plus-co-television-perfect-hair-collection-26325678?nav=926983
• Read: Down the Drain by Julia Fox
• Maybe don't read: Yellowface by R. F. Kuang
• Watch: Dance Life
• Watch: Only Murders in the Building

Not only an iconic line from Family Guy (and very true about some of our fake tan habits); we discover some new lifestyles in this ep. Mob Wife replaces Clean Girl in the aesthetic realm - and the internet is torn - is it a trend to pop your faux fur coat on for, or is it a long standing legacy lifestyle being exploited for views?

Turns out going clubbing in your 30s can also become a lifestyle, though we're not sure Alana will lean into that... at least not until the next time she gets free tickets to a male strip show.

Brookey is more in her wholesome vibe - going to the movies; brushing up on early 2000's pop culture etc. so we get a gorgeous trip down memory lane and deconstruction of the revamped Mean Girls movie. A moment of panic for an existential question: do the Sephora-vandilising-tweens of today even know who LiLo is?

Recommendations:

• Brooke's glycolic scrub https://www.mecca.com/en-au/necessaire/the-body-exfoliator-eucalyptus-I-054718/
• Alana's glycolic scrub https://www.mecca.com/en-au/frank-body/glycolic-body-scrub-V-056148/?cgpath=bodypersonalcare-bodyscrubsexfoliators
• Alana's CR shoes https://www.countryroad.com.au/lia-heel-60287661-1

We don't have any new year new us resolutions girls and boys - if anything we're resolved to remain as chaotic and catastrophic as last year. We know you missed us over the holidays, but you didn't miss much - we shopped, sunned, snored and for Brookey - sanctioned screen time.

Whilst we were off duty, Hollywood was working overtime: between Saltburn and Salt Lake City, wow there's a lot for us to discuss. Brookey fills Alana in on the pop culture sensation that is Gypsy Rose Blanchard, the highly esteemed motherkiller. We did only a spot of shopping, but here are some recs for you anyway:

• Read: I have some questions for you by Rebecca Makkai
• Read: Down the drain by Julia Fox
• Read: Promising young women by Caroline O’Donohugh
• Read: Yellowface by R. F. Kuang
• Brookey's de-mineralising spray https://www.hairhouse.com.au/products/color-wow-dream-filter-pre-shampoo-spray-200ml
• RHG Signature cleanser https://www.mecca.com/en-au/korres/greek-yoghurt-foaming-cream-cleanser-pre-probiotics-150ml-I-056981/?cgpath=brands-korres
• Alana's elbow length t-shirts https://www.uniqlo.com/au/en/products/E455359-000?colorCode=COL00&sizeCode=SMA002

Forewarning - we're done with 2023. Your girls are tired and we are manic in this fun giggly episode. Leave your woes (and potentially some of Brookey's favourite trends) behind when you step into the new year and get ready because there are certain things that are definitely IN for 2024. Unsure if this has actually become satire, here's a taste of some things we're saying goodbye to: restaurants; sambas; euro summer; pants. And some things we're ready to embrace: true blue denim; anklets; drake (TBC) and iceberg.

And as if that isn't wild enough - Brooke tells a tale involving a Woolworths chicken; Woodstock cans and spit...

Recommendations:

• Brooke's sold out sparkle jeans (pray for a restock) https://ksubi.com.au/products/playback-token-krystal
• Read: The Rachel Incident by Caroline O'Donoghue
• Skip/don't watch: Call me by your name

We know you came here for chaos, so don't be surprised with this topsy turvy episode: Brookey is a horse girl now (or again) after a recent luxe Yarra Valley excursion; whilst Alana is debriefing on the Denise of it all in last week's RHOBH episode. This leads us into a discussion on the Sydney ladies; the Hiltons and the drama of Elf on a Shelf (hence the warning/reminder that this episode is chaotic).

We are finally up to speed on the $59m wedding and thoroughly enjoy a spot of speculation. Brooke realises she is living a sliding doors style romcom after rewatching her comfort show for the 100th time and Alana has some vulnerable thoughts to share on the challenging side of Christmas.

Recommendations:

• Alana's natural cotton & sea salt deodorant https://www.wearewild.com/au
• Alana's teeth strips https://www.chemistwarehouse.com.au/buy/124048/hismile-pap-teeth-whitening-strips-14-pack
• The trendy brown sugar lip balm https://www.mecca.com/en-au/summer-fridays/lip-butter-balm-brown-sugar-I-057664/
• Brooke's shimmer PJs https://www.victoriassecret.com/au/vs/sleepwear-and-lingerie-catalog/1123041800?brand=&collectionId=52f46ac5-b547-4c98-9cad-350015f29a19&limit=180&orderBy=REC&priceType=regular&productId=0c08d0ab-9381-4cd1-b918-33ffd1ac7831&stackId=8eef28c2-6d46-4cc9-8858-38c00448349d&genericId=11230418&choice=63IU&product_position=15&stack_position=1&dataSource=manual-collection
• The ultimate skims dupe https://www.kmart.com.au/product/3-pack-super-soft-g-string-briefs-s163527/?selectedSwatch=Sc%20Lf%20Cf
• Read: Green Dot by Madeleine Grey