You're damaging your kids right now.

There. I said it.

And the worst part? You already know it. You feel it every time you snap at them the exact way your mother snapped at you. Every time that voice in your head sounds like your father's disappointment.

We're the generation that swore we'd do it differently. Millennials who read all the parenting books, who apologize to our 4-year-olds, who are so terrified of causing pain that we've over-apologized ourselves into a different kind of damage.

But here's what nobody tells you: You can't out-parent your unhealed childhood.

Clinical psychologist Janet Phang didn't sugarcoat it: "Your childhood baggage doesn't disappear when you become a parent. It resurfaces. Often violently."

The moment you hold your baby, something cracks open. Not just love - but every wound you thought you'd buried. Every criticism you swallowed. Every moment you felt unseen.

Suddenly you're not just parenting your child. You're parenting the child you once were. And you're doing it badly because nobody taught you how.

So how do we stop screwing up our kids?

We don't. That's the painful truth.

The question isn't if you'll mess them up - it's how much and in what ways.

In this raw episode of The Real Reason, Janet and I talk about:

• Why you speak to yourself in ways you'd never speak to your child

• The moment parenthood reactivates trauma you didn't know you carried

• What actual healing from your parents looks like

This isn't gentle parenting advice. This is the conversation that might make you cry in your car.

🎧 Listen to The Real Reason - because breaking generational patterns starts with seeing the ones you're still carrying.

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for advice specific to your situation.

Follow Janet Phang:

• Website: https://www.psychologymatters.com.sg/

Follow Shulin Lee:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theshulinlee
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.pod
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shulinlee

Episode Chapters :

• (00:00) Introduction
• (01:14) Janet’s introduction
• (02:08) Why we treat our feelings like problems
• (04:35) Your child’s self-worth & self-esteem
• (07:19) Intergenerational trauma
• (09:24) How much praise is “too much”?
• (11:12) Healing wounds from our parents
• (16:16) “Good enough parenting”
• (17:59) Why we still seek approval from our parents
• (20:21) The 5 stages of grief
• (21:58) Why many adult children stay stuck in anger
• (26:27) Should you talk to your parents about your hurt?

You eat healthy. You work out. You do everything “right.”
So why does your body still feel stuck?

In this episode of The Real Reason, Shulin Lee sits down with holistic nutritionist Riyana Rupani to uncover what’s really going on beneath the surface and why “doing more” isn’t always the answer.

They dive into:

• How stress, hormones, and gut healthquietly dictate your results
• Why over-exercising and under-eatingmight be slowing you down
• The truth about “metabolic resets” and how to rebuild balance without guilt or extremes

If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought, “What am I missing?” — this one’s for you.
Because your body isn’t broken.
It’s talking to you. You just haven’t learned how to listen yet.

🎧 Tune in to The Real Reason and find out what your body’s been trying to tell you all along.

Follow Riyana Rupani:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyishandhappy 

Website: https://healthyishandhappy.com

Resources from Riyana:

Chili sauces and more: https://everidayfoods.com

Healthy Recipes: https://healthyishandhappy.com/healthy-recipes/

Clean-in-15 Challenge: https://healthyishandhappy.com/clean-in-15

Follow us:

• Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/theshulinlee⁠⁠
• Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.pod⁠⁠
• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/shulinlee⁠⁠

Episode Chapters:

(00:00) Introduction

(01:58) Riyana’s introduction

(03:34) The Real Reason

(05:04) The “Sugar Monster”

(09:16) Shulin’s ice cream mistake

(12:49) High achievers vs. Pushing through

(15:56) The “Clean-in-15 Challenge”

(17:29) The first step to eating clean

(19:33) Alcohol

(22:37) No one wants to be unhealthy

(23:45) Mindless eating

(26:30) Does your body need that much food?

(28:15) Colleagues & after-work drinks

(30:27) Pressure to eat the last piece of food

(31:13) Family piling food onto your plate

(33:06) Obstacles to eating healthy

(34:03) Tips for eating at hawker

(35:33) Harmful health fads

(36:12) Intermittent fasting

(38:28) 1200 calories per day

(40:32) Breakfast ideas

(43:37) Fruits vs. fruit juice

(45:15) Riyana’s chili sauces

(49:19) Read the ingredients

(50:22) Food can be delicious and life changing

(52:52) If someone is fit, but not eating healthy

(54:28) Weight loss

(56:27) Why food matters

I had everything I was supposed to want

the title, the career, the “success.”

But deep down, I was stuck.

Not lazy.

Not ungrateful.

Just… stuck.

In this raw solo episode, I share:

→ When success stopped feeling like success

→ How hitting ZERO revenue in 2020 forced me to reinvent

→ The mindset shift that helped me rebuild everything

→ How fear kept me trapped

This isn’t about motivation.

It’s about telling the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Because sometimes, the hardest person to be honest with… is yourself.

🎧 If you’ve ever looked “successful” but felt lost, you need to listen in

Follow us:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theshulinlee
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.pod
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shulinlee

Episode Chapters:

(00:00) Introduction

(00:54) What is The Real Reason?

(02:38) Quitting law

(04:57) Proving yourself to others

(08:45) Becoming a recruiter

(09:43) It felt like a downgrade

(12:09) What if you had stayed in law?

(15:38) Family & motherhood

(18:53) I didn’t want kids

(20:48) Parenthood is hard 100x

(22:12) Losing your ambitious identity

(25:15) Motherhood made me a better person

(28:36) Feeling stuck in marriage

(32:26) Investing in your marriage

(33:35) Holding on instead of letting go

(35:23) Finding the right partner

(37:10) Rebuilding after a co-founder fallout

(40:28) Taking action

(42:47) You’re not stuck