I have to be honest — when I put out the casting call for people with interesting jobs, I wasn't expecting anything quite like this. Alexandra Sunshine is a senior editor at Kensington Books and, as she describes herself, is the number one romantic editor in the U.S. right now — meaning she has acquired more projects in the romantic genre than anyone else in the country. And yes, "romantasy" means exactly what you think it means: fantasy worlds, magical creatures, swords and crowns... and a lot of very explicit sex.

In this conversation, Alex takes me on a full tour of the spicy book world — from the BookTok explosion that completely disrupted publishing, to the sub-genres you didn't know existed (shifter romance, omegaverse, dark romance, "why choose"... we get into all of it). We talk about why women are devouring these books right now, what it says about female sexuality and modern relationships, and why the "touch her and die" trope is basically the ultimate female fantasy. We also get into the surprisingly funny realities of her job: copy editors fact-checking whether a sex position is physically possible, boardroom conversations about explicit content, and the "chili pepper scale" that her sales team ultimately rejected.

We also ended up having a really honest conversation about my own book (the psychological thriller I'm currently working on), and Alex gave some genuinely great advice for anyone who's been sitting on a story idea and hasn't started yet.

Follow Alex: https://www.instagram.com/Alexhsunshine/

Follow Kensington Books: https://www.instagram.com/kensingtonbooks/

Alex's Book Recommendations

Rain of Shadows and Endings by Melissa Roehrich: https://amzn.to/4cZJg6A 

Chasing the Wild by Elliott Rose: https://amzn.to/4d5ZcEe

Chasing the Ring by Lauren Rowe: https://amzn.to/4cQZIY7

Chasing the Rush by Lauren Rowe: https://amzn.to/4tMkwWB

Sponsors:

Ogee: Thanks to today's sponsor, Ogee: A higher standard for beauty. Go to ogee.com/LUCIE and use code LUCIE to get 20% off certified organic makeup that performs like luxury.

Quince: Go to Quince.com/REALSTUFF for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Magnetic Me: New customers get 15% off sitewide at magneticme.com

Rhoback: Use code "REALSTUFF" on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week.

Nanit: The Nanit Smart Baby Monitor System is 20% off for Mother's Day. Use code LUCIEFINK at nanit.com to get the 20% off plus a free travel case.

Spindrift: Use code LUCIE at DrinkSpindrift.com for 15% off your next order of Spindrift.

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today we have an audience caller episode for you and I am so grateful that Melanie wrote in because this conversation genuinely opened my mind in ways I wasn't expecting.

Melanie is 34 years old, openly polyamorous, and has been practicing BDSM for 15 years. Her husband knows about her boyfriend. Her family knows she's in multiple relationships at once. And after a long-term relationship where she and her partner pushed the limits of BDSM together, she did something I had never heard of before: she created a detailed shared document — complete with a pain tolerance scale, body location charts, aftercare provisions, and a step-by-step guide to helping her reach "subspace" — and began sharing it with her sexual partners so they could learn the proper way to be with her.

In this conversation, we get into all of it:

• Her sexual awakening from childhood through college, and how she first found her way into the BDSM community
• What BDSM actually is beyond what 50 Shades of Grey showed us — and what people in that world are truly chasing
• What "subspace" feels like (hint: she compared it to a runner's high, a cold plunge, and giving birth all at once)
• The wildest experiences she's had, including a night at a BDSM dungeon in Atlanta with an audience of 40 to 50 people
• How polyamory works when you're genuinely, deeply in love with your husband — and how she navigated telling her parents
• Why she sees jealousy as a "pointer emotion" and what that's taught her about herself
• What she'd recommend to anyone who is BDSM-curious or poly-curious and doesn't know where to start

What I loved most about talking to Melanie is that she approaches all of this with so much intention, communication, and self-awareness. She described herself as a "sex nerd," and I think that framing genuinely changed how I understood this whole world. It's not what most people picture — it's thoughtful, it's deeply personal, and it's fascinating.

Follow Melanie: https://www.instagram.com/millicent.kent/ 

Sponsors:

SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at https://www.skims.com/realstuff #skimspartner

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have been fascinated by today's guest ever since I came across a profile piece about her when I was working at Refinery29. I never got the chance to film a Lucie for Hire episode with her back then, but when we recently put a casting call out for people who have interesting jobs, Jen wrote in and the rest is history.

Jen Glantz is a bridesmaid for hire. Brides from all over the country and beyond pay her to show up to their wedding, stand in the bridal party, and be the supportive best friend they needs on their big day. She attends engagement parties, bachelorette trips, and bridal showers. She memorizes a fake name, a fake backstory, and every detail of the bride's life so she can blend in seamlessly. In most cases, not even the person the bride is marrying knows she's been hired.

What started as a half-joking Craigslist ad posted on a frustrated Friday night has become Jen's full-time business, with packages starting at $2,500, an hourly rate of around $200, and a team of bridesmaids she can send when she's double-booked. She's worked over 100 weddings since 2014 and the stories she has from those weddings are absolutely wild.

In this episode, we talk about the many reasons why brides actually hire her; what the job really involves, the craziest things she's witnessed on the job, the ethics of the whole thing, and the emotional whiplash of stepping back into real life after a weekend undercover.

I was absolutely riveted by this conversation and I think you will be too. And whether you could ever do something like this yourself or not, I promise you'll be thinking about it long after the episode ends.

Find Jen:

www.bridesmaidsforhire.com

www.jenglantz.com

www.instagram.com/jenglantz/

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this solo episode of The Real Stuff, I'm sharing a theory I've been quietly developing for years. If you've ever watched my TEDx talk on The Power of Trying New Things, you know I've always championed getting out of your comfort zone. But today I’m going one layer deeper — asking the question: what is the underlying force that drives all of that trying? My answer: curiosity.

I'm calling it The Curiosity Crisis — a societal theory about how and why adults gradually lose the childlike wonder they were born with, and what it's costing us collectively. Drawing on my own career journey — from pitching a YouTube show as a freshman at Johns Hopkins, to discovering stop motion animation, to launching this very podcast, to now writing a psychological thriller novel — I make the case that curiosity isn't just a personality trait. It's a life strategy.

I break down the four forces I believe are dimming our curiosity light switches (societal skeletons, the burnout burden, toxic tech, and the fear factor), then I get practical. I share a handful of ways to start recharging your curiosity light bulb — from carving out just 10 minutes a day to explore something new, to practicing what I call "conscious content consumption," to simply looking up from your phone and noticing what's always been around you.

This episode is equal parts personal reflection, cultural commentary, and pep talk. If you've ever felt stuck in a routine, disconnected from what excites you, or like you used to be a more interesting version of yourself, you’re going to want to listen to this.

Thank you to our sponsors: 

Clean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein drinks at https://www.CleanSimpleEats.com

Blissy: Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code LUCIE for an extra 30% off at https://www.blissy.com/LUCIE

Ogee: A higher standard for beauty. Go to https://www.ogee.com/LUCIE and use code LUCIE to get 15% off certified organic makeup that performs like luxury.

SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at https://www.skims.com/realstuff #skimspartner

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I genuinely believe every single person needs to hear this conversation. Jackie Blankenship is an intersex advocate who was born with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome — meaning she has XY chromosomes, but her body couldn't respond to testosterone, so she developed externally female. She also has no internal reproductive system and no vaginal canal. And she didn't tell a single soul until she was 40.

In this episode, Jackie walks me through everything: what it actually means to be intersex, what her childhood was like being told to keep her diagnosis a secret, the surgery she had at 15 that she wasn't fully informed about and didn't consent to, the dilation therapy she went through at 18, and what it was like navigating relationships, intimacy, and marriage while carrying this secret for decades. We also talk about her journey to motherhood — her sister served as her gestational carrier, and the process of choosing a donor egg is something you truly have to hear to believe.

And then there's the moment that changed everything: Jackie won Mrs. America. And while crowning the next queen live on stage, she read aloud a rule that she realized — in real time — wouldn't have included her. That was the moment she knew she had to speak up.

We get into intersex advocacy, nonconsensual surgeries on intersex children, what the word "intersex" actually means versus transgender, what it's like to come out publicly in today's politically charged climate, and why Jackie says she doesn't consider her diagnosis a disorder — just a really cool quirky trait that the world needs to understand better.

This episode will genuinely expand the way you think about the human body, identity, and what it means to live authentically.

Sponsors:

Ritual: For a limited time, save 25% on your first month at https://www.Ritual.com/REALSTUFF

Clean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein drinks at https://www.CleanSimpleEats.com

Rhoback: Use code REALSTUFF at https://www.rhoback.com for 20% off your first order through the end of this week.

Magnetic Me: Get 15% off at https://www.magneticme.com

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I put out a casting call asking for audience members with unconventional family setups and Laura's submission stopped me in my tracks. Honestly? I think it should be a movie.

Laura is 40, lives in New York City, and is mom to her almost-two-year-old daughter Adeline. But the story of how Adeline came to be is one of the most intentional, creative, and genuinely heartwarming things I've ever heard. After a divorce in her early 30s, a traumatic IVF experience, and years of navigating the dating scene with a “ticking” biological clock, Laura made a decision: she was going to become a mom — with or without a husband. What she didn't expect was that the answer would come in the form of a DM to a peripheral acquaintance named Lenny.

In this episode, Laura opens up about uncoupling motherhood from marriage, the very practical (and sometimes hilarious) process of co-parenting with your gay best friend, what it actually costs to do IVF out of pocket in New York City, how they navigated co-parenting agreements and reproductive lawyers, and what their unconventional but deeply loving family unit looks like today.

We get into egg freezing, embryo transfers, single motherhood by choice, platonic co-parenting, the mental load of raising a child across two apartments, dating as a single mom, and why Laura says becoming a mother made her feel more free — not less — when it comes to finding love.

This one is sweet, funny, and just a little bit life-changing. If you've ever questioned the "traditional" path to building a family, you need to hear Laura's story.

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

My husband Michael is back on the podcast— and this time, we're getting into the biggest life shift our family has made in years.

At the end of last year, Michael made the decision to leave his corporate job in sports media after over a decade of climbing the ladder. He had no new job lined up… it was just a leap of faith toward a different kind of lifestyle. I've been watching him grind through high-pressure, around-the-clock work for years, and honestly? I've had a front-row seat to what corporate burnout, work-life imbalance, and sacrificing your well-being for a paycheck can really look like from the inside of a marriage.

In this episode, we're co-telling the story of how we got here — from the cyclical conversations we kept having, to the moment I finally said what I needed to say in a way that actually landed, to Michael's very “Michael” way of making one of the biggest decisions of his career. 

We're also getting into what comes next: Michael joining me at Lucie Fink Media, what it means to truly run your life like you run a business, and how we've been building our version of a "rich life" as a couple and as a family.

We talk about corporate burnout, setting work-life boundaries, the mental load of running a household, couples and individual therapy, quitting your job without a plan, leaving a high salary, working with your spouse, and what it actually looks like to redesign your life from the ground up together.

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have been waiting to have this conversation. Les Alfred — host of the She's So Lucky podcast and one of the most refreshingly honest voices in the self-development space — sat down with me in the studio, and we went deep.

We talk about what it really means to want a big life. Les is unapologetically vocal about wanting wealth, success, and a life that is anything but average, and in this episode, she explains exactly why she thinks more women need to say that out loud. We get into the psychology of perfectionism and why it's rarely actually about getting things right; it's about the fear of being seen trying.

I also open up about a very personal block I hit while launching my own YouTube course and how working through it completely changed the outcome.

Les shares her theory on the post-peak pivot and why the most successful women know when to step back, lie low, and let the next chapter build. We use everyone from Rihanna to Jackie Aina to Taylor Swift as case studies.

Plus, we get into the concept of creating your own luck, best-case scenario journaling, and why negative comments and criticism might actually be the best sign your career is growing.

Follow Les: https://www.instagram.com/lesalfred/ 

Listen to the She's So Lucky Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/46muBfvOgp2U44ycqZJPPN 

Sponsors:

Vuori: Get 20% off your first order at Vuori.com/REALSTUFF

Ritual: For a limited time, save 25% on your first month at Ritual.com/REALSTUFF

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ever wondered what it's actually like to be a twin? In this deeply personal episode, I'm going solo to share everything I've never fully unpacked on camera about growing up as a fraternal twin — my experience, my perspective, and yes, the fact that my twin Allie is very much not here with me for this episode (she's private, she's pregnant, and she said no... and I respect it).

I'm diving into the science of fraternal vs. identical twins, what it means for your identity when you share your entire childhood with someone, and how Allie and I managed to stay incredibly close without ever feeling competitive with one another. I talk about twin telepathy (and exactly how ours works), the unique social dynamics of growing up as a "package deal," navigating friend group drama as a twin, going to college together, living together well into adulthood, and the emotional turning point when we finally branched off into our own separate lives.

I also get into: birth order and how being one minute younger shaped my whole personality, the way our wildly different childhood interests perfectly predicted our adult careers, and what it means to be entering a new, exciting parallel chapter now that Allie lives just seven minutes away.

This episode is for twins, siblings, people who have a ride-or-die best friend, and anyone who's ever been curious about the twin experience. Allie may not be with me for this one, but I've got more than enough to say for both of us.

Sponsors:

Magnetic Me: New customers get 15% off at MagneticMe.com

SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at http://skims.com/realstuff

Vuori: Get 20% off your first order at Vuori.com/REALSTUFF

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today I'm sitting down with an anonymous audience caller I'm calling "Emily," a married mom of two who has never told a single person (not a close friend, not a therapist, not ANYONE) about her husband's sexual kinks. Until now.

What starts as a candid, almost lighthearted conversation about a husband with some unconventional sexual preferences quickly becomes something much deeper: a story about trauma, secrecy, isolation, and what it really means to be a supportive partner when your needs and your spouse's needs don't exactly align.

We're talking bondage, sensory deprivation, a homemade "sex dungeon" above the family garage, snowsuits with padlocks, a chicken coop, a gas mask, and a key ring full of chains and locks. And yes...it is as wild as it sounds.

But what moved me most about Emily's story wasn't the kink itself. It was the loneliness she carries. The weight of being sworn to secrecy. The tension between being a full-time working mom, a wife, and essentially a dominatrix, all at the same time. And the very real question of whether what's happening in her marriage has crossed from "adventurous sex life" into something that deserves more attention.

I'll be upfront: somewhere in the middle of this conversation, I stopped being just an interviewer and started being a friend. You'll probably hear it in my voice. Emily wasn't asking for advice, but I couldn't help offering some because I genuinely care, and I think you will too by the end of this episode.

Sponsors:

Wedderspoon: Go to https://wedderspoon.com/discount/REAL20 and use code REAL20 for 20% off your order.

Laundry Sauce: Get 20% off your entire order at Laundry Sauce with code REALSTUFF at laundrysauce.com/REALSTUFF and let them know we sent you.

Pique: Unlock 20% off and begin your journey toward sustained wellness today at Piquelife.com/REALSTUFF

Rhoback: Use code REALSTUFF at Rhoback.com for 20% off your first order through the end of this week.

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX 

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story. 

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone. 

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod 

Find Lucie here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciebfink/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@luciebfink 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciebfink

Website: https://luciefink.com/ 

Subscribe to my free newsletter "The Lucie List" here: https://thelucielist.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Subscribe to "The Creator Confidential": http://www.luciefink.com/confidential

Executive Producer: Cloud10

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.