@Betches

This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami jump right into it with the latest Bennifer updates. JLo’s in the Hamptons celebrating her 55th bday with an extravagant Bridgerton-themed bash, while Ben Affleck is on the other side of the country inspiring less-than-flattering headlines about how he might be coping with their alleged separation. In global news, the CrowdStrike outage resulted in mass disruptions for airlines and hospitals, which is a good reminder for Aleen and Sami to get back to work on their bunkers. Next up, the royal family caused a stir with a report that Prince William earned over $30 million last year… no wonder he got such good Taylor Swift seats. And while we’re over in the UK, Matthew Macfayden (aka Tom Wambsgans) did an interview claiming he wasn’t “dishy enough” to play Mr. Darcy, and respectfully, we beg to differ. The Paris Olympics opening ceremony is tomorrow night, and we’ll be tuning in to Celine Dion and Lady Gaga’s La Vie En Rose duet. And finally, Aleen and Jordana share their thoughts on the Presumed Innocent finale. Our Betch of the Week is Matthew Macfayden for being enough for us, and we’re sending the CrowdStrike CEO to the Caymans, but he’s gonna have to suffer through a few canceled flights on his way there.

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This week, we’re kicking things off with a huge congrats to Sami for reaching number two on the NYT Best Seller list with Democracy In Retrograde! This week also marks the release of The Tummy Ache Issue on Betches.com, and Aleen, Jordana, and Sami share some of their embarrassing gastric stories. Onto the celeb headlines: Mauricio Umansky was spotted in Mykonos kissing a mystery blonde… Do you think they went to Nammos? And are any of the remaining RHBOH couples actually real? Speaking of Bravo, Tom Sandoval filed a new lawsuit against Ariana, in a mission to keep his Most Hated Man In America title. In other legal news, Alec Baldwin’s criminal trial has been dismissed, which is great news for the TLC show. Across the pond, Kate Middleton made a rare public appearance at Wimbledon, looking gorgeous in purple. Aleen’s determined to attend next year, and Jordana’s taking lessons so she’s practically tournament ready. And randomly, Ozzy Osbourne has had quite enough of Britney Spears’ dancing videos, not that she cares… although low key we did have to unfollow. Finally, we wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. We’re sending Tom Sandoval to the Caymans yet again, because, in Jordana’s words, that guy stinks. Our Betch of the Week is the Princess of Wales for her much deserved standing O at “the” Wimbeldon.

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This week, Aleen is back from Greece with a hot take about Mykonos, and an even hotter sunscreen conspiracy theory that she needs Sami and Jordana to weigh in on. Sami’s new book, Democracy In Retrograde, is in high demand in stores *and* at the library (ever heard of it?). In celeb news, Lindsay Hubbard is pregnant and made the announcement in true Lindsay fashion: via a sponsored post. Did Dorinda really spill the news to The Traitors’ producers and get her axed from the show? Speaking of pregnancies, Gypsy Rose Blanchard is expecting a baby with her boyfriend Ken, and we would totally watch their TLC show. Jordana is finally caught up on the Hawk Tuah girl…the American Dream has truly evolved so much in our lifetimes. We’re excited for the sequel to The Devil Wears Prada, and a little frustrated by House of the Dragon season 2 (someone please get Jordana a character guide ASAP). And is Ellen DeGeneres actually leaving fame behind after her Netflix special drops? Finally, we wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. We’re sending Nammos Mykonos to the Caymans for bamboozling Aleen, and our Betch of the Week is the Hawk Tuah girl for signing with UTA.

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This week, Aleen may be in Greece, but Jordana is looking tan, which according to her dermatologist is *not* a compliment. Sami reveals her meteorology skepticism (climate change is real, but weather apps are fake). Jordana and Sami share their thoughts on Celine Dion’s new documentary… JLo’s doc is feeling more insignificant by the day. Speaking of JLo, a new update suggests she and Ben have actually been separated since March, and Ben has been looking to Jennifer Garner for advice on the situation. Listen to find out what we think that advice actually is. Then, Sami explains Charli XCX and her new album Brat to Jordana, and they discuss their Summer House season 9 predictions. Finally, they wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. Our Betch of the Week is, of course, Celine. And we’re sending Ben Affleck’s publicist to the Caymans to figure out how to make him look less miserable in the tabloids.

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Sami’s in LA for VidCon, so Jordana and Aleen are here to discuss all the stories of the week. Jordana kicks things off with a recap of her failed attempt at procuring Eras Tour tix in London. Taylor, if you’re listening, Vivid Seats seriously needs to get their act together. Aleen’s heading to Greece next week for her 5 year wedding anniversary (and 10 year dating anniversary!), and reflects on how long term relationships shape you as a person. Speaking of vacations, JLo was papped flying commercial, which raises the question: how tight *is* money right now in the Bennifer household? If you could have insider info on any celeb’s finances, who would you choose? We’re sending a huge congrats to Mindy Kaling, who surprised everyone with an announcement that her 3rd child was born back in February. How many pre-planned IG posts must she have taken to keep that under wraps? In other celebrity offspring news, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri has dropped her dad’s last name, not long after Shiloh Jolie-Pitt announced plans to do the same. The family drama there might be even more fascinating than JLo’s tax return. Next up, despite his fears about the world tour being ruined, Justin played Madison Square Garden this week to an audience that somehow included Martin Scorsese. And notorious hater Hugh Grant tweeted his love of Taylor Swift after her show at Wembley, where Prince William was also spotting shaking it off - was everyone there except Jordana? Finally, filming has commenced on Freaky Friday 2, and we can’t wait to see it in 2025. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken, is Prince William for letting loose at the show. And Vivid Seats is getting a one way ticket to the Caymans for their terrible customer service.

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This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are coming to you from the Spotify studio at Cannes Lions! They kick off the episode with some highlights from the festival, before unpacking Part 2 of the Summer House reunion and the continued Carl and Lindsay drama. In other news, Justin Timberlake has been arrested in the Hamptons for a DWI… This is really going to ruin the world tour. Cayman’s poster boy Armie Hammer is attempting a comeback by reminding everyone he was accused of cannibalism. Maybe he can stay there for a while longer. Joe Alwyn makes a rare public statement about his former relationship with Taylor, and we’re actually not mad at it. Finally, Scooter Braun is officially a manager no more. What is he trying to get ahead of? Listen to hear our theories. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken, is Joe Alwyn for keeping it so classy. And Justin is getting a time out in the Caymans until he can figure out how to call an Uber.

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The Betches are getting ready to head to Cannes next week! They’re ready for a week at Spotify Beach, where Jordana and Jared are going to be on a panel - they’re even on the same flier as John Legend. Helloooooo, legendary. We also hear the Kelce brothers are scheduled to attend too-- will the Betches end up in the presence of Taylor? We’ll report back. Speaking of Taylor, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived aka Matty Healy is engaged to model Gabbriette Bechtel, and we have a lot of thoughts, including a niche theory. From one troubling couple to the next– JLO and Ben Affleck are selling their $60 million dollar mansion. Is a divorce imminent? Why couldn’t they have bought a simple $15 million dollar cottage like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?! Has Jen Garner been secretly planting these press stories? Listen for our thoughts. Finally, they wrap up with a Summer House debrief including the Carl/ Lindsay and Amanda/Kyle of it all. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken is Ciara, because she showed up, looked ethereal, and had Kyle crying. West is taking a time out or maybe an uncomfortable coffee with Ben and JLO.

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All 3 betches are together IRL, and we have a lot to discuss today. So much news, so little time. JLO canceled her tour and tbh, we’re not distraught at all over it. Will this save her marriage? Good luck to her PR team. The Baldwins are coming to TLC – yes, you read that correctly. Mark your calendars for 2025. The three give their hot takes on the Traitors cast announcement, and of course we have to talk about the Summer House finale, and the Cheez Its VS Goldfish of it all. Betch of the Week goes to the casting department for Traitors. TLC was closing in as a second Betch of the Week. We’ll have to see how The Baldwins actually is first. Maybe the network will have a renaissance from this.

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We’re back betch and glad it’s a short week. Sami, Jordana and Aleen recap their Memorial Day Weekend and then give their congrats to Sofia Richie who just became a mom! Are nepo babies the new socialites? That’s the question we’re askin’. Our resident JLO representative Aleen gives the rundown on her recent clapback about her marriage during a press conference. We watched The Challengers and The Idea Of You. Yes we have some hot takes. Like, did they even have chemistry?! The episode wraps up with their recap of the VPR Finale. The Bravo producers will be sent to the Caymans and Billie Eilish is our Betch of the week. Sami can’t stop listening to her new album.

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Cheers betch, it’s almost Memorial Day Weekend.  It’s about to be the summer of Betches. Aleen’s oldest, Mila is ready for the pool and Jordana’s ready for the heat. Well, as the temps rise, one couple seems to be cooling down… JLO and Ben WTF is going on?! And, now Jennifer Garner is getting involved... From one couple to the next, are Taylor and Travis secretly engaged or is Trav not even planning an engagement? The Betches break down the crazy couple headlines. They wrap up with a quick Valley debrief, and Jordana and Sami’s hot takes of Anne Hathaway’s new movie, The Idea Of You.. which leads them to let you know that Harry Styles is single again. Delulu girlies rise up! Our Betch of the Week: Scarlett Johansson fighting against AI. We’re sending Bennifer to the Caymans and will be joined by the AI guy who screwed over ScarJo.

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