Something horrible has happened here! This page may not be pretty, but Alice and Martha find plenty to discuss about Slughorn's "murder" scene. Harry plays detective, Slughorn has to have his piano, Dumbledore is five steps ahead of everyone else, as usual. 

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Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's Tale at King's Cross. With so much dialogue from Dumbledore, this week is ripe with band an album name options! Plus, find out which MGP illustration would make an excellent Christmas tree topper, 

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We are back to celebrate the holiday season in the realest and weirdest ways possible. First, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shandy to simulate a Secret Santa gift exchange with members of the Order of the Phoenix. Secondly (00:30:41), the sisters do a deep dive into all the mentions of the word "Christmas" in the Harry Potter series that do not include the classic Christmas gifts. And finally (01:01:56), Alice and Martha are joined by Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) to Take Five minutes 55:00-60:00 of 2024's classic film Red One!

Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!

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Alice and Martha tell a group of second-year girls about Sirius's break-in - oh wait, that's Ron! From Sirius's ghastly visage to Ron's ability to make him scamper, Ron's tale is sure to impress on this week's One Page at a Time. 

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Harry's arm bones might not be back yet, but Dobby is! On this week's One Page at a Time, Alice and Martha discuss linguistics, magical medicine, house elves, and more. 

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Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to (nearly) wrap up Goblet of Fire! Some more amazing acting from the trio, including an amazing bounce-back to full spirits from Harry, along with some sentimental goodbyes from the lovely ladies of Beauxbatons and the gentlemen of Durmstrang round out Mike Newell's magnum opus. Don't worry, we'll be back to give the credits their full due on the next Take Five! 

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Alice and Martha return to the fourth book as Harry prepares for the third task. A sweet moment from Ced, a not-so-sweet moment from Amos, and an almost non-existent moment from Mrs. Diggory take up the first half of the page, while Mrs. Weasley's reminiscing about the good ol' days of Ogg and Bill simply being cool take up the second half. Plus, a cameo from Michael Gambon - what more could you ask for? 

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Alice and Martha continue to strike seventh book gold as they discuss another chapter from "The Goblin's Revenge." Ron's unreasonable and irascible mood dominate this page as the trio discusses all of their deep inside knowledge that could help them track down the horcruxes, including the lightbulb moment that Voldemort was educated at Hogwarts! 

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Alice and Martha return to the thrilling page sequence in Sirius's bedroom. A shady reference to Muriel, a (Hermione voice) "Harry" and a possible hint of Bucky's presence? What more could we ask for??

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Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the 28th five minutes of Goblet of Fire, which includes the reveal of the real Moody and a special bonding moment over shared scars, all of which is apparently extremely boring to Dumbledore.  

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New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!