The Reconstructing

What makes a group a cult? How can you recognize religious trauma and coercive control when they're disguised as love, faith, protection, or belonging? And how do you learn to trust yourself again after years of being told what to believe, how to live, and who to be?

In Episode 3 of The Reconstructing, host Katie Grace sits down with Elise Heerde, a mental health practitioner, certified coach, author of Holy Hell, Saved So Hard I Needed Therapy, and co-founder of Religious Trauma and Cults. Drawing on her own experience in high-control Pentecostal Christianity and her professional work supporting survivors, Elise explores the complicated process of recognizing harm, leaving controlling environments, and rebuilding a life beyond fear.

Together, Katie and Elise unpack what distinguishes a cult or high-control group from a religious environment that may cause harm. Elise explains why beliefs alone aren't the defining factor—and why it's more useful to examine patterns of coercive control, including isolation, monitoring, regulation of everyday life, and punishment for stepping out of line. They also discuss why harmful control can exist within seemingly mainstream religious communities, why survivors get to choose the language that best describes their own experiences, and why no one should have to prove that their trauma was “bad enough” to deserve support.

Elise offers practical guidance for rebuilding self-trust through curiosity, compassion, and small, low-stakes decisions. She explains why your nervous system may continue responding with fear or urgency even after your beliefs have changed, how to make room for uncertainty without rushing toward new answers, and why emotions can be treated as information rather than something to suppress or judge.

Connect with Elise Heerde:

Website: https://www.eliseheerde.com/

Instagram: @EliseHeerde

Religious Trauma and Cults — practitioner directory, resources, and training: https://religioustraumaandcults.com

Continue the conversation with Katie Grace:

Visit https://thekatiegrace.com to learn more about her memoir, "Spirit of Fear", The Reconstructing podcast, and to join The Table, a virtual community for people questioning belief systems, healing from fear-based or high-control environments, and figuring out what comes next.

You are allowed to question. You are allowed to take your time. And you are allowed to build a life that feels like your own.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the episode and guest

00:59 Guest Elise Heerde shares her background and journey

04:00 Understanding the long tail of coercive control

08:12 What makes a group cultic or high control

13:04 Mainstream churches and the potential for coercion

17:01 Recognizing and naming religious and cult trauma

21:56 Framing harm as love and control as protection

25:54 Betrayal blindness and dependency on harmful systems

30:08 Rewiring the nervous system and managing triggers

35:05 Leading with curiosity and compassion in healing

41:00 Building self-trust through small decisions

45:59 The importance of patience and understanding in recovery

50:09 Resources and support for survivors and practitioners

keywords:

religious trauma, cult recovery, coercive control, high control groups, spiritual abuse, trauma healing, cult dynamics, mental health support, recovery strategies, faith deconstruction

What is religious trauma, how does it affect us, and what does healing actually look like?

In Episode 2 of The Reconstructing, host Katie Grace sits down with Dr. Laura E. Anderson, co-founder of the Religious Trauma Institute and founder of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery, to explore the lasting effects of high-control religion and the process of healing from religious trauma.

Drawing from her personal experience growing up in evangelical Christianity and her professional work supporting trauma survivors, Dr. Laura breaks down the differences between adverse religious experiences, religious trauma, PTSD, and complex PTSD (CPTSD). She explains how prolonged fear and control can shape our nervous systems, identities, relationships, and sense of safety—and why symptoms sometimes become more noticeable after we begin to leave those environments.

Together, Katie and Dr. Laura explore why intellectual deconstruction alone may not resolve the effects of trauma, the importance of approaches that address both the brain and body, and how grief is an essential part of recognizing what we lost, what we needed, and who we had to become to survive.

Most importantly, Dr. Laura reminds us that healing doesn't require abandoning our faith, adopting someone else's beliefs, or rushing to figure everything out. It asks us to move slowly, build a sense of safety, reconnect with our own autonomy, and make room for joy along the way.

Note: this conversation is educational and isn't a substitute for individualized mental health care.

Connect with Dr. Laura Anderson:

Websites: https://traumaresolutionandrecovery.com and https://drlauraeanderson.com/links

Instagram: @drlauraeanderson

Continue the conversation with Katie Grace:

Visit https://thekatiegrace.com to learn more about her memoir, "Spirit of Fear", The Reconstructing podcast, and to find your seat at The Table—a virtual community for people questioning belief systems, healing from fear-based or high-control environments, and figuring out what comes next.

You don't have to untangle everything today. You have time to heal, to grieve, to explore, and to build a life that feels like your own.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Religious Trauma and Dr. Laura Anderson

04:09 Dr. Anderson's Background and Work in Religious Trauma

08:37 Understanding Adverse Religious Experiences and Trauma

12:32 Differences Between PTSD and CPTSD

18:16 Research History of CPTSD and Religious Trauma

27:32 Personal Journey and Healing from Religious Trauma

35:38 Neuroscience of Trauma and Healing Strategies

43:27 Healing Modalities and Self-Compassion in Recovery

52:25 Resources, Support, and Moving Forward

keywords:

religious trauma, CPTSD, faith deconstruction, trauma recovery, mental health, spiritual abuse, healing journey

What happens when the belief system that shaped your entire world no longer fits?

In this first episode of The Reconstructing, host Katie Grace sits down with Elizabeth B. Hill, author, coach, and founder of Green Heart Living Press, to explore her experience growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, leaving a high-control religion, and rebuilding her sense of identity, spirituality, and self-worth.

Elizabeth shares how fear shaped her childhood, how leaving the religion upended her sense of self, and how decades of healing helped her rediscover her voice, reconnect with her spirituality, and find work that truly aligns with who she is. Together, Katie and Elizabeth explore religious trauma, the lasting effects of high-control environments, and the ongoing process of learning who we are beyond the beliefs and expectations we inherited.

Because leaving a belief system is only the beginning. What comes next is the work of reconstructing a life that feels like your own.

Connect with Elizabeth B. Hill: https://greenheartliving.com

Looking for support and community? Visit https://thekatiegrace.com to learn more about The Reconstructing and find your seat at The Table, a virtual community for people questioning belief systems, healing from fear-based environments, and figuring out what comes next.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and episode overview

02:22 How Elizabeth and Katie connected through shared stories

06:32 Elizabeth's childhood in Jehovah's Witnesses

08:34 Life as a full-time pioneer and the impact of high control

11:07 The mental breakdown and leaving the religion

13:51 Juxtaposition of childhood before and after age eight

17:26 Family dynamics and perceptions of faith

21:08 Fear and anxiety in childhood and adolescence

30:24 The mental health crisis and leaving the high control environment

36:28 Rebuilding identity through books, meditation, and community

43:24 Healing, spiritual connection, and coming home to oneself

49:30 Elizabeth's work in publishing and storytelling

56:40 The ongoing journey of healing and self-discovery

01:00:21 Invitation to community and final thoughts

keywords:

religious trauma, deconstruction, healing, storytelling, memoir, high control religion, spiritual awakening, mental health, personal growth

What happens when the things you’ve always believed… stop making sense? When the identity you built, the community you belonged to, or the life you thought you wanted no longer feels like yours?

You can spend a lifetime tearing things down.

But what happens after that?

How do you figure out what to keep, what to let go of, and what to build in its place?

The Reconstructing podcast aims to explore just that...