Episode description

What if repairing a relationship doesn’t mean getting back together?

Monica and Aaron were romantic partners for seven years within a polyamorous relationship and built a deeply intertwined life together. But after repeated ruptures around broken agreements, their romantic relationship came to a painful and messy end. 

What happened next is what makes their story so powerful.

Rather than cutting each other out of their lives, Monica and Aaron began the long, imperfect process of de-escalating their partnership while trying to preserve the love and connection underneath it.

In this episode of The Relational REPAIR Podcast, we get into the nitty-gritty of what that actually looked like: taking months of space, staying connected without forcing repair before they were ready, navigating anger, guilt, shame and defensiveness, and slowly learning how to see each other again. 

One of the turning points came on Christmas, when they stopped trying to process their relationship for a day and simply remembered that they liked each other. That reconnection eventually created enough safety for Monica to share the depth of her hurt and for Aaron to truly understand the impact of his actions, rather than apologizing from guilt and shame. 

And their repair wasn’t just words.

As Aaron says in the episode, “repair doesn’t happen in a conversation.” Sometimes repair looks like showing up consistently, over and over again. For Aaron, that included spending a year driving Monica’s service dog to training, a simple but profound restorative action that communicated: I am not abandoning you. 

Today, their romantic relationship has ended, but their relationship hasn’t. They describe a deep love, friendship, compassion, and connection that has transformed rather than disappeared. 

This is a conversation about polyamory, broken agreements, breakups, shame, accountability, restorative action, de-escalation, and the possibility that sometimes successful repair isn’t about going back to what you had.

Sometimes repair creates something entirely new.

What happens when you know the relationship tools, teach the relationship tools, practice the relationship tools… and still lose your shit?

In this episode of The Relational Repair Podcast, Dr. Hazel-Grace Yates sits down with Chris and Christopher, a couple approaching ten years together who have spent years developing their relational skills. And yet, like the rest of us, they still get triggered.

Chris can get hot, fast, and righteous. Christopher can react, pull away, and need more time to come back. They know how to communicate, take accountability, and repair, but when their nervous systems are activated, accessing those skills isn't always so simple.

Together, we explore what it looks like to catch yourself in an old pattern, take space without abandoning the relationship, recognize when the intensity you're feeling belongs partly to your past, and learn what your partner actually needs for an apology to land.

Chris and Christopher also get candid about one of the less-talked-about realities of repair: sometimes one person is ready to move on long before the other. A quick “I'm sorry” might be enough for one nervous system, while the other needs time, consistency, affection, and a deeper acknowledgment before trust is restored.

This conversation is a reminder that relational mastery isn't about never getting reactive. It's about becoming more skillful at recognizing when you've lost each other, taking responsibility for your part, and finding your way back.

Because knowing the tools doesn't make you perfectly relational. It gives you more choices when you're inevitably imperfect.
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Chris is a Somatic Sex Educator, coach, and lifelong student of relationships, embodiment, and human sexuality. Their work helps people reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their erotic energy as a creative life force, and build more authentic relationships with themselves and others.

With a background spanning yoga, authentic relating, nutrition, and leadership, Chris has trained in Relational Life Therapy, somatic trauma healing, relational mindfulness, attachment, Internal Family Systems, and nature-based practices. They bring a heart-centered, body-based approach grounded in curiosity, integrity, and deep attunement, supporting people to move beyond shame and limiting relational patterns toward greater wholeness, vitality, and connection.

https://www.chris-muse.com/

In this special episode, Hazel-Grace steps into the guest seat, with Sasha Love as interviewer, to share a vulnerable and complex rupture from 2022 with Spencer Jacobson.

What began as deep distrust evolved into something unexpected. Through a series of REPAIR conversations, the relationship shifted from disconnection to a genuine desire to collaborate. In July 2026, Hazel-Grace will be facilitating at Revel Festival, produced by Spencer.

Together, they trace the full arc, from meeting at Burning Man to colliding inside a 50-person Colorado retreat that existed in a gray zone between friendship and professional container. Hazel-Grace shares what it was like to navigate land acknowledgment, pronouns, inclusion, and belonging while already dysregulated. Spencer offers the facilitator perspective of the same moment: competing expectations, unclear agreements, multiple subcultures, and the limits of capacity when a room becomes charged.

Rather than debating whose story is “right,” this conversation explores the layered contexts that shape impact and how shared reality becomes possible.

From there, the conversation turns practical. They explore mirroring, empathy, accountability, and why shame makes apologies difficult to receive. They unpack shared reality as the true aim of repair, and why fully understanding another person can feel like an ego death without losing yourself.

This episode holds the kintsugi truth: when repair is done with care, relationships can become stronger and more meaningful than they were before the break.

If you’ve been holding a frozen story about someone, or you lead spaces where rupture is inevitable, this conversation offers language, perspective, and the courage to try again.

Huge thank you and shout out to Sasha Loves You for interviewing Spencer and Hazel-Grace!

“I Don’t Have a Tone”: How This Couple Turned an Old Pattern Into Deeper Connection

Episode Description:

What happens when the thing hurting your partner is something you don’t even realize you’re doing?

In this episode of Perfectly Imperfect: The Relational Repair Podcast, Dr. Hazel-Grace Yates sits down with Kiki and John, partners of ten years, for an intimate look at what repair actually looks like inside a long-term relationship.

For years, John had a particular tone when he was frustrated or tired: condescending, sharp, and largely unconscious. For Kiki, that tone touched an old wound and sent her straight into shutdown. She wouldn’t say anything in the moment. John wouldn’t know what had happened. Days later, they would try to make sense of a rupture neither of them could fully access anymore.

Over time, something changed.

Kiki learned to name what was happening closer to the moment. John learned to recognize a pattern he hadn’t been able to see. Together, they developed enough safety to turn an unconscious dynamic into something they could actually work with.

Their conversation moves beyond “the tone” into desire, intimacy, connection nights, the pressure to know what you want, and the surprising ways our best intentions can have the exact opposite impact we hoped for.

This is a conversation about intention versus impact, speaking up instead of shutting down, owning our patterns, communicating desire, and creating relationships where rupture doesn’t have to mean disconnection.

Because every relationship eventually gets cracked.

As John puts it, you can throw away the broken vase and get a new one. But eventually, that vase will get broken too.

The real question is whether we can learn to repair what matters and perhaps make it even more beautiful in the process.

The Fight That Changed Our Marriage

Episode Description

What happens when the conversation that could end your relationship becomes the one that transforms it?

In this deeply honest conversation, relationship educators Rono and Sierra share the pivotal rupture that shaped their 15-year marriage. After a painful conflict, Rono confessed, "I think I need to sleep with other women." Rather than hiding, avoiding, or betraying one another, they chose radical honesty and began uncovering what was really happening beneath the surface.

Together we explore:

• Why unmet needs often disguise themselves as bigger problems
• The hidden agreements couples make without realizing it
• How recurring conflicts can become relational cues instead of relationship-ending crises
• The role of community in healing and repair
• Why repairing the same rupture over many years created deeper trust instead of resentment

This episode is a powerful reminder that lasting love isn't built by avoiding conflict. It's built by learning how to return to one another.

About Eden World

Eden World is a private membership community for committed couples who want to keep their relationship alive, intimate, honest, and connected through the real seasons of life.

Inside the Eden Sanctuary, couples gather for monthly Salons, Couples Councils, intimacy practices, retreats, and community experiences designed to give their relationship intentional time and care. It's a place to practice better communication, deepen devotion, rekindle desire, grow alongside other couples, and strengthen the life you're building together.

If you love each other and know your relationship deserves more than whatever time is left at the end of the week, Eden Sanctuary offers a place to return, practice, and grow together.

Learn more: EdenWorld.org

Experience Eden World:

• Join the next EPIC Intimacy Lab: https://edenworld.org/lab/
• Attend a Sanctuary Saturday as a guest (couples only; small seat deposit required): https://edenworld.org/guest/

If this conversation resonated with you, you'll likely find a home in the Eden World community, where couples practice these skills together every month.

When Two Ruptured Leaders Choose REPAIR

Episode Description:

In this special episode, Hazel-Grace steps into the guest seat, with Sasha Love as interviewer, to share a vulnerable and complex rupture from 2022 with Spencer Jacobson.

What began as deep distrust evolved into something unexpected. Through a series of REPAIR conversations, the relationship shifted from disconnection to a genuine desire to collaborate. In July 2026, Hazel-Grace will be facilitating at Revel Festival, produced by Spencer.

Together, they trace the full arc, from meeting at Burning Man to colliding inside a 50-person Colorado retreat that existed in a gray zone between friendship and professional container. Hazel-Grace shares what it was like to navigate land acknowledgment, pronouns, inclusion, and belonging while already dysregulated. Spencer offers the facilitator perspective of the same moment: competing expectations, unclear agreements, multiple subcultures, and the limits of capacity when a room becomes charged.

Rather than debating whose story is “right,” this conversation explores the layered contexts that shape impact and how shared reality becomes possible.

From there, the conversation turns practical. They explore mirroring, empathy, accountability, and why shame makes apologies difficult to receive. They unpack shared reality as the true aim of repair, and why fully understanding another person can feel like an ego death without losing yourself.

This episode holds the kintsugi truth: when repair is done with care, relationships can become stronger and more meaningful than they were before the break.

If you’ve been holding a frozen story about someone, or you lead spaces where rupture is inevitable, this conversation offers language, perspective, and the courage to try again.

Huge thank you and shout out to Sasha Loves You for interviewing Spencer and Hazel-Grace!