Recorded on a tropical Island, this infamous lost episode is finally unearthed and published!

To recap, Lomas and Deano were in the British Virgin Islands for a Wallbrook-mandated Roar detox program. Which did not work, since we watched the Roar once again get jobbed in Dallas by the Cockboys and the worst reffing crew in the NFL.

While Deano was away snorkeling, Lomas recorded from the beach with Uncle Brother, in the cold, windy (possibly also snowy) Chicagoland area. The idea was to record with Deano later, which never happened.

Anyhow, we bemoan the Roar winning, then losing on a clearly fucked up call by the refs. We decide that, in the world of RAA and The Roargasm, the Lions won in Dallas. That's our story, and we're sticking with it.

Inspired by the island setting, Lomas and UB invent the best TV show ever: Lions Fantasy Island. In each episode, roaraholics visit the island, met by a silver-haired Gary Danielson and a little person with the head of Wanye Fontes, to live out their Lions fantasies. But be careful what you wish for, as even the most hoped for Roar fantasy can--and will--have twists and turns you didn't see coming!

Anyhow, if you're listening to this episode after the pre-playoff episode, might wanna stop and listen to that episode first, Actually, do what you want. You're a grown man (we have only male listeners, I'm nearly certain).

Roar.

That's right! Lambs! That's what we think of the pretty boys from LA coming into OUR HOUSE in the D!

Lomas has returned from the tropics, but Deano has once again set off, this time to Israel, to score some contraband Ejaculions. So, it's just Lomas and Uncle Brother this time. Until, that is, the bold entrance of none other than Air-Low! Like a wrestler storming the ring back in the days of Hillbilly Jim and The Iron Sheik!

We somehow simultaneously look back to the win against the Cockrings AND ahead to the epic matchup against Matty Staff and the Lambs. Uncle Brother and Air Low tag team up to convince Lomas that the Roar are the better team and should win ... and Lomas submits! (Lomas, who, by the way, totally nailed the 12-5 regular season prediction.)

Lomas and UB will convene in person in South Haven to watch the game, hoping that the scenic shores of Lake Michigan will help us somehow keep our shit together and our roaraholacism somewhat in check. Spoiler alert: It won't.

So, let us ROAR together into the playoffs, and pray that the playoff gods grant Sam LaPorta a speedy recovery!

Welp, it only took 30 years, but the Roar are once again Kings in the North! Long live the King!

The Roargasm crew celebrates the Roar marching into Minnesota and taking down the Cockrings. Yes, our donkey ball sucking D gave up big yards to their 12th string QB, but we also picked him off 4 times. That dude is an all-time chucker, as likely to throw a Kenny Wobbler as he is to thread a 30-yard strike for a TD.

The offense, meanwhile, after a couple of shaky possessions, got going and did what they had to do against a very good defense. As benefiting a QB with a sacred book detailing his exploits, Jared was on fire, slicing and dicing and getting shit done. Gibbs and Monty continue to operate as a two-headed problem for opposing defenses.

Anyhow, Roar Nation, all that really matters is that the Lions are division kings with a home playoff game in the bag. But can we win said playoff game? What if it's against Matty Staff and the Rams (still working on a cock-related moniker)? We'll deal with that insanity if/when need be.

Until then, let us ROAR as one and celebrate this accomplishement!

ROAR!!!!!!

This very special episode features a very special guest: the one and only Fantetti, he of the scalding hot takes and world-weary cynicism. Uncle Brother opens with a 100% factually accurate biography of Fantetti and how he came to spew a non-stop torrent of anti-Lions (and anti-Pistons) vitriol. But even Fantetti joins in as we celebrate the Lions beatdown of the Donkeys (our name for the Broncos--we couldn't come up with a name with "cock" in it. Sorry). A bit of controversy brews as Lomas and Fantetti team up to cast doubt on Jared's long-term future with the team, which we're aware may seem stupid in the wake of Jared's 5-TD, 0-INT performance. Lomas hammers home the point that the fate of this year's squad rests on the health of the O-line. We look ahead to the next game on the road against the Minnesota Cockrings (good one!), who apparently do not have a QB worth even a single shit. We end with an insanely ambitious 4-part roar, with mixed results, including a synth malfunction.

Thanks once again to Fantetti for brining his mustache into the Roargasm arena, as well as his humor and for the fact that he had the Pistons game on in the background so he could watch loss #24 in a row while re recorded. Good times!

We open with a return to the traditional serenity prayer, followed by a fiery sermon from Deano, chastising Roar Nation for having been seduced by false football god and having the vanity to believe that the Roar had truly been restored.

We ponder the mystery of the Lions current swoon. Is it the O Line? Is it Jared? Have other teams figured out a way to stymie our formerly fearsome offense?

Other than Gibbs ripping off some nice runs and the Roar coming alive in the second quarter, there's not much else to dwell on. Nothing good, anyhow.

The Pistons, meanwhile, are now 2-20 and have lost 19 in a row.

Tough times in the D.

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In the aftermath of the Roar's split personality road win against the Taints, we huddle to determine what this strange game portents for the rest of the season.

Any win on the road is as good win, but damn if our shitty D didn't make David Carr look like Pat Mahomes, slinging it. The play of the game was our man Bruce Irvin driving Carr into the dirt and knocking him out of the game. In came journeyman Jameis Winston, who was not good.

We praise Jamo, who showed off his superhuman burst and unveiled a beautiful swan dive into the end zone.

The doubly praise Sam LaPorta, who caught all the passes.

The run game was pretty good, too.

Anyhow, the Roar are 9-3, have a very good offense, a bad defense, and a schedule that should result in a home playoff game.

We look ahead to avenging the almost loss to the Bears next week and try to roar it out but are once again stymied by Zoom.

Roar.

The Roargasm crew sift through the wreckage of the Lion's Thanksgiving loss to the Slackers. Those cheesehead fuckers are clearly better than when we beat their ass earlier in the season. But our O-line looked alarmingly shaky and our defense sucked the most donkey balls it's sucked in a while. Deano even suggests that it might be time to start sleeping on Jared a little bit.

We have no special insights, people. We're as baffled and wary as the rest of Roar Nation. Here's the deal. The Lions are 8-3, with a pretty soft remaining schedule. They're still (probably) playoff bound. A convincing win against the New Orleans Taints would definitely help bolster our spirits.

So, we'll see what happens this Sunday. If the Roar win, we're back on track. If they lose, we'll be recording the next episode from Wallbrook.

Roar.

With Uncle Brother living it up in Europe, Lomas, Deano, and super special guest Big Don Feldman marvel at the Roar's absurd comeback against the Bears. After dining at the donkey ball buffet for most of the game, Jared and the offense rode the silver Lion all the way to an instant-classic come from behind victory. Hutch put the cherry on top with a strip sack safety, after which he punted the ball into the stands. Which was awesome. Did the defense go back to the buffet for seconds and thirds? Yes, it did. The D will be shitting donkey balls for the foreseeable future. But we'll take the W. And now, here's looking at you, Green Bay. We are going to try extremely hard to kick your ass. Happy fucking Thanksgiving.

Special thanks to Big Don for filling in for UB. Speaking of which: Uncle Brother, get your ass back to the United States. It's Lions Thanksgiving football, for the ghost of Bobby Layne's sake!

First, we're super-excited about the addition of Donovan Peoples-Jones to to the Roar family. Not necessarily because he's such an amazing player--although maybe he is ... we have no idea!--but really because the name "Donovan Peoples-Jones" is next level. We simply love it and can't get enough, and are already well along the path toward composing and recording a song in DPJ's honor.

Anyhow, The Roar took care of business at home against a pretty shitty Raiders squad. Many thanks to Jimmy G for being a below-average QB and giving the Lions D a chance to bounce back and feel good about themselves again.

We marvel at Jahmyr Gibbs' breakout performance and hope it's the beginning of something special.

Sam Laporta continues to delight.

It's nice going into the bye week 6-2, with a road contest against the Chargers on the horizon. Hopefully the week off will allow the mighty OLine to return to full strength. And we hope and pray that Dan Campbell will use his healing powers to get David Montgomery back in the huddle. Although his absence has provided Gibbs' plenty of opportunity to shine.

So, enjoy the bye, watch plenty of tape, get some rest, and let's look forward to beating the shit out of the Chargers in a few weeks.

Roar.

This episode is being posted several days after the disaster because, well, Lomas just wasn't very motivated to post it.

What is there to say except that the Lions got demolished every which way. Lamar played like his former MVP self, the Ravens averaged something like 87 yards per play, and the rate at which Baltimore scored was almost comical.

Anyhow, was this a blip, a bump in the road? Or a harbinger of dark things to come. We shall soon find out. Fortunately, the Roar is back at home against the lowly Raiders this Sunday, and we're all hoping they're able to regroup and avenge last week's beatdown.

Roar.