The Roargasm crew breaks down the Lions impressive road win over the Fartinals.

First, Deano improvises a new tune, called "Lady Lomas," that has a lot of potential.

Back to the game ... The good:

The Lions win on the road against a squad that won big the week before.

The Roar defense was great overall.

The Lions offense finally clicked during the first half, looking like the high flying unit we've come to know and love.

The not so good:

--The offense bogged down in the 2nd half, although we suspect the run-heavy game plan had something to do with that

--Arnold continues to rack up PI penalties

--We have 9 damn penalties, which pretty much kept the Farts in the game

But it's a road win, so we'll gladly take it. On to next week, against the Seacocks, who've given us trouble in the past. Join us in hoping for a roaring victory against the 3-0 Cocks, who are probably not as good as their record suggests.

Roar.

It truly sucks when your team loses a game they coulda/shoulda won, even though they kinda sucked mid-sized donkey balls, doesn't it?

The Roargasm crew is appropriately subdued after a disappointing loss at home to the Fucaneers, who were missing approximately 98% of their starters in the secondary.

We're mostly concerned that the offense hasn't really clicked yet. Has anyone seen Sam LaPorta? Jared, meanwhile, had to wash the taste of donkey balls from his mouth after the game. What's with the missed throws and horrible interceptions? Something's off. We shall consult the Book of Jared for wisdom and comfort.

But unlike in Lions seasons past, BDC (Before Dan Campbell), we're not panicking and declaring the season over. It's just one game, people.

A few bright spots:

Hutch went ballistic with 4.5 sacks. Dude was unstoppable.

Sun God bounced back with 10+ catches for 100+ yards.

Jamo had another pretty good game (although he disappeared for long stretches).

Jack Fox delivered a strike for a first down on a glorious fake punt!

DC gave another magnificent halftime interview, digging deep and owning his mistake at the end of the first half.

Speaking of which, that was a game-changing fuck up. DC is only human, folks. We still love the guy, of course.

Anyhow, on to Arizona next week, to face a Fartinals teams that blew out the Rams today. Oy. It's a good thing the Lions are built for this shit. 'Cause we're not sure we are.

Roar.

Welp, game 1 is in the books, and thanks to the ghost of Bobby Layne it's a W for the Roar.

In this episode:

--We share our game watching experiences

--Uncle Brother shares a bed with a fellow roaraholic

--Deano, having survived the Ford Field frenzy, looks like crap and is barely conscious

--We marvel at how cool it is to have a smash mouth running attack, especially late in games

--We also marvel at Matty Staff, who looked better than ever and could not be stopped

--We wonder what the hell was going on with Sun God and Laporta, who did virtually nothing the entire game

--We applaud Jared's epic, 7-yard scamper for a crucial 1st down

--We love DC more than ever, after his impassioned halftime interview

--We are fucking pumped about the Jamo outburst!

--We're exhausted and wonder if we'll be able to hold up physically and mentally for the entire season.

--We end, as always, with a melodious 3-part harmonized Roar ... With Deano starting out in the deep end! Uncle Brother following with a note high enough in the register to force Lomas to go falsetto.

In short: It wasn't pretty, but it's a W, and we'll gladly take it.

Until next time,

Roar.

Hola, Roar Nation!

The Roargasm is back, with a preseason episode that will blow your hair back and give you a roarection the size and duration of which will alarm you.

We review our responses to the annual preseason questionnaire (courtesy of Uncle Brother) to predict the Lion's fortunes.

And guess what?

We're (mostly) all in on the Lions going all the way! Seriously. We know, as lifelong Lions fans, that picking the Roar to win the Super Bowl seems insane. But that's where we are, bitches! It's SB or bust, baby!

We also debut two new songs: Deano's show-opening "Bite Them Caps" and Impossible Lomas' show-closing "Built for This Shit".

So join us, Roar Nation, on what is sure to be a wild ride!

What's this? An offseason pod?

Hell yeah!

Deano, Uncle B, and Lomas are in peak offseason form for this low-energy episode. All we can really say is that Brad Holmes and DC have our unmitigated trust that they're making the right moves to shore up the D, stabilize the O line after the departure of Jonah Jackson, and generally keep things humming.

Query: Is next season Super Bowl or bust? Will anything less than a Bowl appearance equate to a failure? Seems unfathomable, right? Yet, here we are.

Another burning question: Is the new recording platform we're using roar-enabled? Listen to the end to find out!

Where to begin?

With a newly revealed chapter of The Book of Jared, of course.

Lomas was AT THE GAME and lived to tell the tale.

Brad Johnson is coming back for another run at a chip!

Anyway, there are basically two ways to look at what happened: 1) The Lions had the game in hand and blew it, squandering a chance to go to the GODDAMN SUPER BOWL!; 2) The Lions are still a year or so away and needed to go through the agony of defeat to take the next step.

The Roargasm chooses route 2. Just like the Pistons in '87, the Roar will use the heartbreak of losing a game they should have won to fuel go into next season even hungrier, knowing they belong amongst the elite teams.

We shall most likely pod again before the beginning of next season. But until then, thank you for roaring with us throughout what's been a truly incredible and historic season. Study the Book of Jared, offer thanks to Ben Johnson, and keep ROARING!

Ho hum. The Detroit Lions won another playoff game, at home against the Fuccaneers. No big deal, nothing to see here. EXCEPT THAT THE LIONS ARE PLAYING IN THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP!

We were the better team. We were at home. We were favored. And so of course we SHOULD have won. But damn, after 30 solid years of ineptitude and dashed dreams, it was hard to harbor too much hope.

And yet here we are. On to San Fran, a very scary and formidable team against whom we have absolutely nothing to lose. Anything is possible. Possible is anything. Let's go! ROAR!!!!!!

It only took 30 years ... 3 solid decades of broken hopes and dreams ... multiple generations of roaraholics passing on the disease from father to son ... But, as God is our witness ...

THE DETROIT LIONS WON A GODDAMN PLAYOFF GAME!

Air-Low and Deano (all the way from the Holy Land!) phone in to help us process this historic moment. The game was about as good as it gets. Both teams balling out, doing their thing. Matty Staff was great, slinging no-look sidewinders all over the field. Jared was even better, remaining calm and collected throughout a really close game. Bottom line, Jared made the throws when it really mattered, leading the Lions to a fucking playoff victory.

We're in uncharted territory now, people. The last time the Lions ventured into the mystical land known as the Second Round, they got smoked. Let us beseech the football gods to grant the Roar good fortune against the Fucaneers. Roar.

Yes, Lomas and Uncle Brother kept recording throughout the entire game. This one's for the truly hopeless roaraholics. Meaning anyone listening to this podcast. So, dive in, guys! See you on the other, glorious side!

Uncle Brother and Lomas make the pilgrimage to South Haven to witness the most important Lions game in 30 years. We do all we can to keep our shit together as game time approaches.