The Rob Arthur Podcast

You can punish yourself in the gym.

You can starve yourself at the table.

You can stress over every pound and calorie.

It won't make you love your body.

You'll still battle the same underlying thoughts and emotions.

Nobody ever hated themselves into loving themselves.

You might think the problem is your body.

That may be partially true.

Improving your physical health will likely improve your quality of life.

However, poor physical health is often a reflection - not a driver - of the real issue.

Unworthiness, lack of self-worth, and lack of self-love.

These often drive the behaviors that lead to ill health.

Eroding the motivation to be physically active.

Encouraging food as a distraction.

Undermining any hope for improvement.

No diet or training program can fix this.

Start with a mindfulness practice.

Make time to sit alone in silence.

Let your mind and heart roam.

Explore your thoughts and feelings.

Your fears, your pain, your hopes and dreams.

No matter how uncomfortable that may be.

Picture the person you want to be.

What steps to take to become that person.

Then take those steps.

Day after day, one at a time.

No matter how small.

Patiently, consistently, and lovingly.

You’ve got this.

Studies have shown dietary adherence to be a critical component of improving and maintaining health and body composition, more important even than relative amounts of dietary carbohydrate, fat, or protein (1,2,3,4,5).

Yet, we seem to have a harder time keeping up healthier eating habits than we do giving up alcohol, cocaine, heroin, smoking, or gambling (6).

Let’s explore some strategies you might use to more consistently practice your healthier eating habits.

One challenge you might face, particularly if losing weight, is increased appetite (7).

Dialing up your protein and fiber intake might help with physical hunger by promoting satiety (8,9).

Your thoughts and emotions, such as how you react to food triggers, may also be obstacles you encounter (10).

A regular mindfulness practice may help prevent impulsive and binge eating and encourage self-control (11,12,13,14,15).

Cultivating self-awareness might also help with self-control, as well as making better decisions (16,17).

Building self-compassion can help you find and maintain motivation, particularly when you make mistakes, experience setbacks, or want to give up or quit (18,19).

Consider seeking regular coaching or guidance, learning to identify and address potential challenges, and recruiting social support (20).

Staying flexible and aligning your new eating habits with your preferences may also help you stay consistent (21).

Planning your meals and keeping a food log or journal are other tactics you might try (22,23).

Finally, rather than “going on a diet” - a short-term mindset that relies on willpower and often fails in the long-term - aim for building habits you can make part of your lifestyle with less conscious effort (24).

Don't do this thinking you'll love yourself once you reach some shape or size.

Do this because you are already worthy of that love.

Worthy of feeling awesome every single day.

Worthy of being as healthy as possible.

Right now, as you are, you are worthy.

This will take time, effort, and patience.

You’ll take steps forward.

You’ll take steps backward.

Keep taking steps.

You’ve got this.

Links to references available here: https://coachroba.com/how-to-stick-to-your-diet-without-being-miserable/

You might know to prioritize sleep.

You might know to eat minimally processed food.

You might know to enjoy regular physical activity.

Knowing all this won't make you lean, strong, and healthy.

Only doing it can make that happen.

It's not what you know, it's what you do.

Not only that, but it’s what you do consistently.

Showing up, day after day.

Putting into practice everything you’ve learned.

Paying attention to how it’s working for you.

Making changes as needed.

Taking small steps.

One after the other.

Moving toward your goal.

You’ll miss some steps.

There will be days when you don’t show up.

Days when life throws a wrench in your plans.

Days when you might need to modify in the face of unforeseen circumstances.

Days when you just want a break.

These days will happen.

That’s okay.

There’s always the next day.

The next opportunity.

Get back after it.

Put in the work.

Show up.

For you.

You are worthy.

You’ve got this.

Pessimism is easy.

Never feeling the pain of hoping and being wrong.

Yet, what's a life without hope?

Without a belief that things will be better?

That kind of optimism calls for putting yourself out there.

Holding onto hope in the face of fear.

Optimism is courageous.

It takes thick skin.

Confidence in the good in others.

Even if that kind of good seems rare at times.

Of course, there is value in expecting the worst.

It can help avoid disappointment.

Lessen the sting of life’s let downs.

In some ways, even, promote gratitude.

However, low expectations and high hopes are not mutually exclusive.

One can acknowledge the potential for poor outcomes while still hoping for the best.

Some might think that’s naive.

At times, it might be.

There is plenty of bad in the world.

Pain, anger, hatred, envy, greed.

But there’s plenty of good, too.

Pleasure, patience, love, abundance, generosity.

They are worthy of just as much attention.

Have faith in a world full of such good.

Make that kind of world the goal.

Work to create it.

You are worthy of that kind of world.

Start by believing in it.

You’ve got this.

You may feel pressure to set goals and reach them quickly.

To know exactly what you want and how to make it happen.

To have it all figured out.

But rushing may lead to a life you don't truly want.

Never learning who you are or who you want to be.

It's okay to take your time.

That might not be exciting.

It might not be sexy.

It may conflict with popular messages or narratives.

It is, however, often the best long-term strategy.

To move at your pace.

Getting to know your desires.

Your dreams.

Your goals.

Then, learning how to move toward them on your terms.

Not anybody else’s.

This takes patience.

It takes confidence.

It takes courage.

You might draw criticism.

Ridicule.

Doubt.

From others, and maybe even yourself.

You choose what matters more.

That negativity.

Or moving toward a life in alignment with your truth.

You are worthy of that kind of life.

Only you can make it happen.

You’ve got this.

It might seem like everyone else is successful.

They’ve got the perfect lives.

The jobs, the houses, the cars.

The bodies, the families, the friends.

All while we’re struggling to just get by.

We see our mistakes, our losses, our poor decisions.

Failure after failure.

Yet, we generally only see others’ highlights reels.

Letting their very best serve as our minimum expectation.

Setting for ourselves an impossible standard.

You might allow others' success let you feel inadequate.

Not seeing how they struggle.

What happens outside the spotlight.

Their mistakes, losses, and poor decisions.

They have their failures, just like you.

What we do with our own is what matters.

We all have our failures.

Of course, we don’t all have the same circumstances.

We all have different strengths, weaknesses, and starting points.

All we can do is do what we can.

To be just a little bit better than yesterday.

Better than who we were.

Not anybody else.

You will fail.

You will make mistakes.

But you can keep showing up.

Keep putting yourself first.

For you.

You’ve got this.

Losing fat, building strength, and shaping your physique may be worthy efforts.

Yet they often fail to silence that inner critic.

That deep dissatisfaction.

Is that dissatisfaction with your body driven by dissatisfaction elsewhere in life?

Where else are you dissatisfied?

Is it in your relationships?

In your career?

How you treat others or even yourself?

Make time every day to sit in silence.

Let your thoughts and feelings come and go.

Notice them, name them, and explore them.

This might be uncomfortable.

You might not like what you see.

It’s the first step in understanding yourself better.

In understanding who you are and who you want to be.

Understanding what to do to bridge the gap between the two.

Then comes the work.

That work might entail physical change.

Much of it, though, will likely be elsewhere.

The stuff you can’t achieve in the gym or at the dinner table.

The stuff in your head and in your heart.

The harder stuff.

This is going to be a process.

It will take patience.

I will take humility.

It will take self-compassion.

It will be worth it.

You are worth it.

You’ve got this.

Do you feel like you’re never good enough?

Constantly working on your flaws?

Recognizing, but never satisfied with, your progress?

Continuing to beat yourself up?

Put yourself down?

Because you don’t meet your always out-of-reach personal standards?

You can put all your time and energy toward self-improvement.

You'll still fall short of your expectations.

Never ceasing to do, say, and think things you'll wish you hadn't.

Work to love yourself despite these shortcomings.

You can always be better.

You'll never be perfect.

Take a little pressure off of yourself.

Strive to improve from a place of self-love.

Not because you hate yourself.

Not because you’re unworthy.

Not because you’re less than.

But because you love yourself.

Because you’re worthy.

Because you can be more.

This will not be easy.

This will not happen overnight.

This will not be fun.

It will be worth it.

Be patient.

Practice self-compassion.

Keep showing up.

Keep putting yourself first.

You’ve got this.

How many of your efforts are driven by a desire for happiness?

Thinking that if you reach the goal, you’ll have “made it”?

Expecting your achievement to bring fulfillment?

What if this mindset only perpetuates a cycle of dissatisfaction?

You might land the job.

You might reach the target weight.

You might win over the guy or girl.

You'll still be you.

You'll have different problems.

You'll find different sources of discontent.

If you're not happy now, you won't be happy then.

Appreciating what you have is a skill.

It takes consistent practice.

Nobody can put in that work but you.

Start by practicing gratitude.

With what you have now.

Learn to love your life.

With how it is today.

Look for the blessings wherever you can.

No matter how small.

Keep working to improve your circumstances.

Set goals and pursue what you see as success.

You might find the pursuit and, should you reach it, the success, quite satisfying.

It won’t make you whole.

You already are.

Independent of anything you have, achieve, or become.

You just need to recognize that.

You are worthy.

You’ve got this.

Some of us love taking time to prepare.

Learning as much as we can about what we want to do.

Studying, reading, researching.

Doing what we can to position ourselves for success.

Making sure we’re ready before we get started.

Ironically, this approach keeps so many of us from just that.

We never actually get started.

You don't lose fat by studying nutrition.

You don't build strength by reading about push-ups.

You don't manage stress by researching meditation.

Preparation is important, but we often use it as an excuse to put off the work.

At some point, the work must be done.

You’ll struggle at first.

You’ll make mistakes.

You’ll want to quit.

Do the work anyway.

Day in and day out.

Refining your approach as you go.

Slowly moving forward.

One inch at a time.

Those inches add up.

Perhaps not quickly.

Perhaps not easily.

But they add up.

Keep showing up.

Keep doing the work.

Keep pursuing your best life.

You’re worth it.

You’ve got this.