The Rural Well

Welcome to Episode 35! Join in as we interview author and guest Lanie Doerr. In this episode:

• Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) in private practice in Gridley, Kansas, seeing clients in person and online
• Former farmer: spent about 12 years growing wheat and dryland crops in the Oklahoma Panhandle, the heart of the Dust Bowl
• Sold the farmland she inherited to pay for graduate school after her own experience in therapy changed her life
• Focuses on farmers, ranchers, and their families ("farmers are my people")
• Author of Farmers Are People: A Revolutionary Insight into Farmer Suicide Risk

Links:

• Website
• LinkedIn
• Psychology Today Profile
• Farmers Are People on Amazon (paperback and Kindle)

Featured in:

• Coffey County Chamber — A Conversation with Lanie Doerr

• [00:55] Looking for the "other story": why Lauren wanted this conversation
• [01:49] Meet Lanie: from Oklahoma Panhandle farmer to licensed counselor
• [02:40] Selling her inherited half-section to go back to graduate school
• [03:54] Where the book came from: years of farmer-suicide articles that "always hit wrong"
• [04:42] The core argument: farmers share the same risk factors as everyone else, so business hardship alone doesn't explain the risk
• [06:16] The flat-tire analogy: farm business problems are the nail, but the personal problems they cause are the flat
• [06:55] Why policy fixes alone won't prevent farmer suicide
• [08:08] "One-and-done" trainings and why they don't bear fruit
• [09:11] Loneliness and isolation as a shared risk factor
• [09:39] "It's not the events, but the views we take of them": when a failed crop becomes "I'm a failure"
• [11:06] Boundaries between personal and business as the one skill every farmer needs
• [12:31] Farmer identity: proud, stoic, private, hyper-independent, and the tipping point where strengths start tearing us down
• [13:43] Farm culture is absorbed like a native language
• [14:27] Helpful vs. unhelpful guilt and unrealistic expectations
• [15:16] Measuring yourself against the generations that came before
• [16:05] The bowling bumper rails: course correction vs. "I'm the problem"
• [16:30] Young farmers' double-edged sword: asking for help while fearing they'll be the link that breaks the chain
• [18:05] Stay rooted in the present, and don't borrow anyone else's reality
• [19:26] When does good work become a burden?
• [22:10] Where to find Farmers Are People
• [22:35] Featured quote: "Consistent profits, low stress and a thriving future all start with grazed grass." Three hosts, three readings: experience, maintenance, and guiding a system instead of fighting it
• [28:05] Lightning round: who would surprise you on This Is Your Life?

• Farmers Are People: A Revolutionary Insight into Farmer Suicide Risk by L. Lanie Doerr (Amazon)
• Lanie Doerr Counseling: counseling, speaking, and farmer mental health resources
• Rural Well Book Club: the hosts floated starting one, with Farmers Are People as the first pick

This episode discusses farmer suicide risk. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) or 9-8-8 for Suicide Crisis Helpline (Canada), available 24/7.

Welcome to episode 34, featuring Cam Ogilvie. Here's a summary of what you have to look forward to this episode:

A bit about Cam

- Founder and Principal of Curioso Coaching & Consulting (Guelph, Ontario)

- Certified Change Management Professional through the Association of Change Management Professionals (ACMP)

- Helps farmers, agribusinesses, and their partners work through adopting new technologies and practices

- Spent four years at a U.S. soil-health nonprofit, leading McCain Foods' regenerative agriculture grower program across North America

- Author of the upcoming book Farming Curious: A Guidebook for Making Change, Navigating the Chaos, and Future-Proofing the Farm (planned for fall 2027)

Links

- https://www.curioso.ca/

- https://www.linkedin.com/in/cameron-mark-ogilvie/

Episode Highlights

- [01:02] Meet Cam: change management for the peopleside of farming

- [01:20] Barn floods and forgotten hoses: even the best checks and balances fail

- [02:57] McCain Foods' 2022 pledge to make all of its potato acres "regenerative," and how 300+ growers reacted

- [04:18] The key insight: farmers needed help putting the practices to work on their own farms, not more education on them

- [06:39] Cost is the surface problem. Successful adopters ask "How can I make this pay?" instead of "Can this pay?"

- [08:00] Change vs. transition: something that happens to you vs. something you move through

- [10:02] Succession, robotics, and AI: why even raising the topic can feel threatening

- [10:33] "Change isn't just project management - it's people management"

- [11:51] Is resistance really anger, or fear underneath it?

- [12:52] Marshall Rosenberg's “Nonviolent Communication”: under every emotion is an unmet need

- [14:15] Personality styles: analyticals and drivers need facts first, while amiables and expressives need time

- [15:21] "Facts don't care about your feelings" - but feelings don't care about your facts either

- [16:45] "Farmers are rugs": sweeping unresolved issues out of sight

- [17:16] Asking "why" to understand someone vs. asking "why" to prove them wrong

- [18:52] Coaching vs. advising: the farmer is the expert on their own operation

- [21:21] Book announcement: “Farming Curious” and its chapter on enjoying change

- [22:13] Building a change-positive culture on the farm, and why the coffee shop isn't one

- [23:45] Featured quote (Amanda Zaluckyj, “The Farmer's Daughter USA”): "The story of family farming underscores a legacy of sustainability."

- [24:32] Legacy as a shield vs. legacy as proof of adaptability

- [26:40] Sustainability means change and legacy means tradition, and the two can coexist

- [27:01] Curiosity, a learner's mindset, is what holds legacy and sustainability together

- [28:57] Lightning round: if you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?

Resources Mentioned

- https://www.curioso.ca/

- https://www.acmpglobal.org/

- Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

- McCain Foods Regenerative Agriculture Framework (published standard, available on McCain's website)

- Amanda Zaluckyj - The Farmer's Daughter USA https://www.agdaily.com/writer/amanda-zaluckyj-farmers-daughter-usa/

- Land Rich, Cash Poor by Brian Reisinger (guest on Episodes 013 and 014)

- Farming Curious by Cam Ogilvie, launching fall 2027 (book website coming this fall)

Welcome to episode 33! We discuss Resilience, Redefined: Rural Mental Health with Steph Schmidt. Steph is:

• Registered psychologist, farmer, and rural mental health advocate
• Farms sheep and grain with her husband and 3 sons in "World's End," South Australia (low-rainfall district)
• Shifted from 1:1 clinical therapy to mental health promotion, prevention, and skills-building for farm families
• Runs workshops and speaks on rural resilience and psychological flexibility

Links:

• Website
• Farm Life Psych Podcast
• LinkedIn
• Facebook
• Instagram: @stephschmidt.farmlifepsych

Featured in:

• ABC Listen
• The Land
• GrainGrowers
• Preventive Health SA

Also connect here:

• National Farmer Mental Health Alliance — connects farmers with agriculture-informed therapists
• Rural Minds, via Lilac Lane Media (co-host Bridgette Readel's company)

Apple Podcasts · Spotify · Amazon Music · iHeart · X

Episode Summary

Bridgette and Lauren sit down with Shawna Percy, a farm-based mental health advocate and suicide prevention trainer, for a candid conversation about how to truly show up for people who are grieving or struggling, without adding to their pain.

Shawna shares the story of losing her first husband to suicide, how that loss led her into full-time work training programs like ASIST and safeTALK, and why lived experience and evidence based knowledge together create the most effective support.

The conversation covers the practice of "sitting shiva" (being present without trying to fix), why oversharing personal trauma in group settings can retraumatize others, the unique grief challenges facing farm families and farm widows, and why agriculture, despite being slow to talk about mental health is culturally positioned to lead national conversations on suicide prevention. Shawna also introduces Ag Care Connect and its Protective Planning Tool, a proactive safety-planning resource for producers, and shares the story behind her books, Breathe and The Healing Place.

• How Shawna's path into suicide prevention and mental health training began after she was widowed by suicide
• The difference between lived experience and evidence-based/evidence-informed knowledge and how both can help or harm
• Vicarious trauma: what it is and how oversharing details of loss can retraumatize listeners
• Why grief groups need guidelines and boundaries to stay safe for everyone
• "Sitting shiva" supporting someone by being present without trying to fix or match their story
• Prolonged and complicated grief in farm families, and the added burden of keeping a farm running through loss
• Farm widows who take on the farm business before they've had space to process their own grief
• Cultural silence around death and funerals, and how naming loss openly helps future generations talk about it
• Ag Care Connect and the Protective Planning Tool - proactive mental health safety planning, described as "PPE for the brain"
• Farm stress data from a University of Guelph pandemic-era study (1 in 4 of 1,200 producers surveyed had thoughts of suicide)
• Why agriculture's close-knit culture is positioned to lead a national suicide prevention strategy
• The "translation issue" in mental health outreach, why farming communities need sector-specific language and scenarios
• Closing quote discussion: "The beauty of agriculture is that it is a culture" (Katelyn Duban, The Rural Woman Podcast)

About Shawna:

Shawna Percy lives on a small farm between Fergus and Guelph, Ontario. After her first husband died by suicide, she trained in ASIST and safeTALK and went on to become a full-time mental health and suicide prevention trainer. She is the founder of Ag Care Connect, a mental health resource platform built by and for producers, and is affiliated with the National Farmers Mental Health Alliance. She is also a TEDxUW speaker and the author of two books drawn from her own experience of loss and healing.

• Ag Care Connect — mental health resources for producers, including the Protective Planning Tool: https://agcareconnect.ca/
• Protective Planning Tool (PPT): https://agcareconnect.ca/protective-planning-tool/
• National Farmers Mental Health Alliance: https://nfmha.ca/
• The Rural Woman Podcast (hosted by Katelyn Duban) — source of the episode's closing quote: https://open.spotify.com/show/7KXbU1SMv7A2thoE8miFT4

• Breathe: A True Story About Marriage, Faith, and Attempted Suicide by Shawna PercyAmazon: https://www.amazon.ca/Breathe-Shawna-Percy/dp/1627462341Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/228910627-breathe
• The Healing Place: Navigating Grief and Healing After Suicide (Breathe series) by Shawna PercyAmazon: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Place-Navigating-Suicide-Breathe/dp/1069350168

In this episode, Bridget and Lauren sit down with Theresia Gillie, a wheat and soybean farmer from northwestern Minnesota, past president of the Minnesota Soybean Growers Association, and county commissioner. Theresia shares her family's near-bankruptcy, the 2017 financial collapse that led to an equipment auction, and her husband Keith's death by suicide that same weekend. She talks openly about grief, community support, and what she's learned about protecting yourself as a farm partner.

In this episode:

- Marrying into farming and becoming a full financial partner

- Choosing to pay off every creditor instead of filing bankruptcy

- The 2017 cash crisis and losing half a million dollars in equity

- Keith's death by suicide and the days that followed

- How neighbors quietly stepped in to keep the farm running

- Reframing "signs" as risk factors you can prepare for

- What every farm spouse or partner should know about the finances and legal structure

- Discovering the identity crisis hidden inside a farm crisis

- The baler twine story that ties it all together

Content note: This episode discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).

Connect with Theresia:

Facebook, LinkedIn, and X (Twitter) — #WomenInAgriculture

Links and Resources:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.nfmha.ca/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- National Farmer Mental Health Alliance

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lilaclanemedia.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Lilac Lane Media

Facebook -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Twitter -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email: info [at] theruralwell.com

What happens when a farm family faces a medical emergency, serious injury, or natural disaster and the crops still need to go in? In this episode, we sit down with Tim Sullivan, Executive Director of Farm Rescue, to talk about what it really means to show up for farm families in crisis.

Farm Rescue is the only nonprofit of its kind in North America sending volunteers and equipment directly to farms to plant, hay, harvest, haul commodities, and feed livestock at no cost to struggling families. Since 2005, they've helped over 1,300 farm families across 11 states keep their operations running when everything else is falling apart.

Tim and the team at The Rural Well explore the intersection of operational support and mental health, because for a farm family, losing the crop doesn't just mean financial loss. It can mean losing the land, the identity, and the legacy that holds a family together.

In This Episode

- What Farm Rescue does and how to qualify for help

- The emotional and mental health weight that farm families carry through crisis

- How volunteers become a lifeline - practically and emotionally

- Why operational support is also mental health support

- How to get involved as a volunteer or supporter

- Tim's perspective on what farm families need most in their darkest moments

About Our Guest

Tim Sullivan serves as Executive Director of Farm Rescue, a nonprofit he has helped grow into a $6 million organization powered by 700+ volunteers operating across 11 states. Farm Rescue provides free planting, haying, harvesting, commodity hauling, and livestock feeding to farm and ranch families facing injury, illness, and natural disaster.

🌐 [farmrescue.org](https://www.farmrescue.org)

Key Takeaways

- Farm Rescue provides free operational support - no cost to the family, ever.

- They operate in 11 states and have assisted over 1,300 families since founding in 2005.

- Hardships they respond to include: illness, injury, accident, and natural disaster.

- Volunteers are always needed - equipment operators, mechanics, drivers, and more.

- Asking for help is one of the hardest things for farm families to do — and one of the most important.

Links and Resources:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.nfmha.ca/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- National Farmer Mental Health Alliance

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lilaclanemedia.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Lilac Lane Media

Facebook -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Twitter -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email: info [at] theruralwell.com

In this episode, Bridget and Lauren sit down with Kate Nesheim, founder of Solid Signal Communication, who shares her personal story of navigating marriage, mental health, and loss.

Kate's husband Matt, a two-tour Iraq and Afghanistan veteran, developed psychosis years after his service, turning their communication-strong marriage upside down. Kate shares what she learned, what she wishes she'd known, and the practical tools she now teaches others.

In this episode:

• How psychosis slowly dismantled communication in a marriage built on it
• The biggest warning sign Kate missed — and what to watch for
• Why "clear periods" between episodes are precious and how to use them
• Building a family team when one person can't carry it alone
• The "upstream thinking" strategy: having hard conversations before hard times hit
• How to name an elephant in the room — and ask permission before doing it
• "The problem is not the person" — holding someone accountable without blame
• What 40% of the US military and rural communities have in common

Then we delve into a quote by Simon Sinek on why communication is the foundation of leadership

Connect with Kate:

Website: www.solidsignalcommunication.com

Email: [email protected]

Links and Resources:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.nfmha.ca/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- National Farmer Mental Health Alliance

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lilaclanemedia.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Lilac Lane Media

Facebook -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email: info [at] theruralwell.com

Welcome back to the podcast! In this episode 28, we're blessed to introduce you to our guest Elaine Froese. Elaine isn't just a wealth of information, but she also connected us together to help get this podcast started!

In this episode, you will hear:

• What are spiritual dynamics of transition on the farm?
• Farmers suffer from being overwhelmed, leading to stress and anxiety
• Dealing from resistance from family or business connections
• fear hurt and frustration are key principals to deal with
• What does your frustration really mean? How do you provide clarity and step back from your circumstances?
• Do we need to do a deep dive and play detective?
• Age does play a part in thinking and planning over the years
• How to plan for succession planning
• How we change how we age
• There’s a change of roles, not a change of importance
• How do you find your purpose no matter what age you are?
• How do non-farm or married in family members communicate about being part of the operation, or what their role could be?
• People can have participatory anxiety - how you anticipate the worst and worry about it.
• Tools for Transition - workbook Elaine uses

We end with a Quote:  “Healthy succession is a long strategic process, rather than an event of choosing the next leader”

Don't forget to listen right to the end as we throw out a fun question to answer!

For more about Elaine, visit ⁠https://elainefroese.com/

Links and Resources:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.nfmha.ca/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠-⁠ National Farmer Mental Health Alliance⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lilaclanemedia.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...⁠ Lilac Lane MediaFacebook -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠Instagram -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠Twitter -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...⁠TikTok -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠Email: info [at] theruralwell.com

Welcome back to the podcast! In this episode 27, we introduce you to our guest and author of "The Recovering Farmer" Gerry Freisen.

Gerry is known to Lauren and he's a wealth of knowledge! In this episode, we talk about recovering well from addiction, powerful tools to equip you as you seek to move forward, and the reality that farmers face challenges many don't.

Also that farmers need to encourage each other as they often times choose to suffer in silence.

We also delve into anxiety and depression, Bridgette shares a quote and asks a fun question at the end. Be sure to stay with us right to the end!

For more about Gerry, visit http://www.gerryfriesen.ca and for his book, visit https://www.amazon.ca/Recovering-Farmer-Journey-Labyrinth-Depression/dp/1038306132

Links and Resources:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.nfmha.ca/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- National Farmer Mental Health Alliance⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lilaclanemedia.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠... Lilac Lane MediaFacebook -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Instagram -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Twitter -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...TikTok -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Email: info [at] theruralwell.com

Sorry the first 1 minute was missing our banter video, be patient, it does start!

In this episode, we talk about the blessings and complexities that come with step-parenting. There are many problems and pitfalls that can come with this dynamic situation and there is no "one stop shopping" answer. It's both complex, yet can be very rewarding if you are intentional and have a game-plan as spouse and former spouses. Let's discuss!

We also talk about the quote "A step-parent is so much more than just a parent, they made the choice to love, when they didn’t have to."

Lastly, we want you to chime in on our last question: If you were to be gone tomorrow, what would you want people to remember you most of all?

As always, we thank you for coming along with us on this journey and look forward to hearing from you, our loyal listeners.

Links and Resources:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.nfmha.ca/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- National Farmer Mental Health Alliance

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lilaclanemedia.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Lilac Lane Media

Facebook -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Twitter -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/theruralwell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Email: info [at] theruralwell.com