The Saga of the European King

Life goes on even inside of a gigantic dugong. Everyone has settled down and found new roles and purpose except for Colonel Glowfist. He has found Gappy the reindeer and has a baffling plan to glitch their way back to the questing life.

Will the master of magic ruin their completed character arcs? Just what is magic anyway? Whatever became of the Colonel's powerful slacks? What does it mean when NPCs name themselves and declare agency?

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Written and edited by Tom McNally

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PERFORMED BY

Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Ben Edwards and Tom McNally

Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Prince Prince, Pineycone, Sofia Cólera and Joanna Cólera.

Joshua Crisp played Colonel Glowfist, Father Figaro, Little Louie and Will Smith.

Tom McNally did the narration and played The King.

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MUSIC

Theme tune and musical stings by Nicolai Roos

Glowfist's sting by John Bartmann

Sofia Cólera's accompaniment by Beth Gibson

Beach party music was 'Casanova Beach Club Pre-Party Summer 2010' by XaviPinos from archive.org

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SFX

Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:

INSIDE THE GIGANTIC DUGONG

fat-wet-footsteps-in-small-shower-cabin by rugermuller

mudsquelch by ahill86

footsteps-muddy-e by inspectorj

glossy-magazine-sounds-fieldtapes by fieldtapes

magazine2 by tiptoe84

PINEYCONE

bird-flapping-wings by elfman-rox

MAGIC

atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse

atlas3q-1-fm-16bit by pixelmasseuse

ON THE OCEAN

ocean-waves-surround-me by Tamás Bohács

BOSS FIGHT

Dugong vocalizations came from the research of Kotaro Ichikawa

MIAMI BEACH

The following sound effects came from the public domain library at archive.org:

Ocean1 by Sakurasky 2010

Pebble beach near Palaiokastrite Greece by radio aproree available from archive.org

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ART

Track art and logo by Tom McNally

Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

How did the King wind up in Viking prison? When did he last speak to his friends? Who becomes Europe's champion while he is away? And what happens when you keep playing Tower Defense after you've built all of the towers and bought all of the upgrades?

> listen to chapter 19_

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Written and edited by Tom McNally

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PERFORMED BY:

Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards

Amy Sutton played Dogie

Joshua Crisp played Auroch-Man

Tom McNally did the narration and played The King, General Magnificent, Mechanicus and Terrorthaw.

Ben Edwards was Cutty.

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MUSIC

Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos

'Medieval Battle' by John Bartmann and John Yarnold

'RPG Battle loop' by sirkoto51 of freesound.org

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SFX

Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:

BELIZE BEACH LANDING

cathedral-echo by reinsamba

electricity-crackling-close-to-an-electrical-post-in-the-desert-of-atacama-chile by felix-blume

sea-lines-screaming-on-a-rock-in-the-pacific-ocean-chile by felix-blume

easter-island-5-minute-md-recording-of-waves-crashing-against-volcanic-ro-1 by cybergenic

roaring-house-fire-wall-fall-in by 7778

fire-from-a-nettle by urupin

wood-hit-01 by dheming

fireworks4 by andy-gardner

bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland

SIEGE OF CASTLE MAGNIFICENT

cathedraldoor by wim

empty-corridor-of-a-spacecraft by vospi

ambience-hockeyrink-empty by mikeonfire99

bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland

running-in-a-hall by taira-komori

01-21-footsteps-tile-slippers-medium-pace by splicesound

atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse

cat-running-stairs by philllchabbb

CHILLINOUS PLAINS

Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1

wind3 by eliasheuninck

svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo

Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab

ROOF OF THE DARK SPAIN PLAZA

calm-wind by equality-x12

oneeronderhorreo by herbertboland

building-rooftops-ambient by batman6661

phone-vibrate by cabeeno-rossley

going-up-stairs-in-a-hurry by taira-komori

walking-by-in-the-rain-short by roofdog

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ART

Track art and logo by Tom McNally

Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Nobody can doubt that Bitey the Lion had a transformative effect on The Saga of the European King when he was introduced. Young viewers came in their millions, enthralled by his antics, disrespect for authority and smart mouth. The flagging franchise was revived and the merchandise options became practically unlimited.

Bitey appeared on everything from lunch boxes, pajamas, toothbrushes, adverts for the Green Cross Code and kidney dialysis machines. In 1991 he even had his own hit single that was number one in the charts for sixteen weeks - that Christmas you couldn't move, shop or sleep without hearing 'The Bitey Bop' aggressively blared at you from hidden speakers and passing cars.

Historian Nicolai Roos has produced this remaster of the old favourite so you can relive that magical December of 1991 all over again.

The King is trapped in a foreign prison. While his sword entertains his father's greatest enemy, the King meditates on his past adventures, previous episodes and spin-offs. Which ghost of the past can save him?

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Written and edited by Tom McNally

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PERFORMED BY:

Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards

Amy Sutton played Fighty Fran, Ms. Miller and Bitey the Lion.

Joshua Crisp played Erik Rage-Eater!, Horrible Harry Glowfist, Father Figaro, Axe Axewound and GoGoGorilla.

Tom McNally did the narration and played The King, Terrorthaw and Chuckwalla.

Ben Edwards was Cutty.

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MUSIC

Theme tune music by Nicolai Roos

'Domestic Harmony' by John Bartmann

'The Bitey Bop' by Nicolai Roos

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SFX

Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:

ERIK RAGE-EATER!'S THRONE ROOM

cathedral-ambience-01 by klankbeeld

FLASHBACK TO KASTEEL VAN LAEKEN

cathedraldoor by wim

empty-corridor-of-a-spacecraft by vospi

ambience-hockeyrink-empty by mikeonfire99

bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland

running-in-a-hall by taira-komori

ART CLASS IN THE LIBRARY

library-children by barcelonetasonora

classroom-ambiance by joedeshon

children2 by yacou

little-girls-screaming by robinhood76

small-girls-screams by robinhood76

two-chairs-crash by issalcake

ORIGIN OF BITEY

lacambre by pcaeldries

grass1 by freefire66

lions-two by bidone

lions-roar-at-lincoln-park-zoo by terwelp

footstep-drag-indoors by abbahoot

lagunita-foot-dragging by xserra

swoosh by pasdepoisson

baseball-bat-hit-3 by ctcollab

hitting-baseball-w-wooden-bat by cgeffex

close-combat-baseball-bat-head-hits-multiple by CJ Johnson

DEATH OF BITEY

vet-clinic-operating-room-ward by jay6waza

JAILBREAK

clatter-wood-11 by adam-n

atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse

cellar-atmo-large-building by claudius

metal-screwing by nicstage

rubble-walk-rocky-grit-cave-footsteps by martian

station-central-hall-2 by sandermotions

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ART

Track art and logo by Tom McNally

Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

The King's friends have been patiently waiting for his return at the Kasteel van Laken in Brussels.

But when a souring love, several heart attacks and the increasing desperation of arch-villain Terrorthaw overcome them they prepare for a long and hazardous sea voyage to the United States.

Will they and their ship be eaten by a gigantic dugong? Signs point to 'yes.'

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Written and edited by Tom McNally

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PERFORMED BY

Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards

Amy Sutton played Prince Prince, Queen Medb, Sally Minefield, Pineycone, Page

Joshua Crisp played Colonel Glowfist, Father Figaro, Little Louie Duke of Portugal, Jen the Necroninja

Tom McNally did the narration and played Terrorthaw and Chuckwalla

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MUSIC

Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos

Terrorthaw's sting - Dark Synth and

Glowfist's sting - Guitar Flair by John Bartmann Pineycone's theme by Mano Camatsos

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SFX

Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:

A NICE MORNING

brussels-bells-3 by everythingsounds

amb-birds-in-a-garden-in-brussels-2014-03-30-5am by davidmenke

lying-on-bed by avakas

walk-on-bed by gyzhor

NECRONINJA DOJO

kalium-arsenicum-5-min-version-binaural by the-very-real-horst

gong-25-144 by the-very-real-horst

walking-into-studio-and-tapping-mics by mickmon.com

01-23-footsteps-tile-slippers-jumping-scuffs by Splicesound

whoosh02 by kingsrow

steps-big-hall-2 by ninafoletti

quarry-blasting by juskiddink

heavy-impacts by richerlandertv

barrage-firework-with-finale-of-powerful-shells-5th-nov-2013 by crosbychris

GRAND HALL

wood-burning-stove by nebulousflynn

fire-in-woodburning-stove by benboncan

fire-burning-in-stove by jagadamba

chair-scapes by taxmanforever

cathedral-ambience-01 by klankbeeld

swedish-library by jonnytheponny

cathedraldoor_L by wim

creaking-door_L by wim

footstepsonadock by mmaruska

PINEYCONE

bird-flapping-wings by elfman-rox

PORTUGUESE DOCK

bi71-corne-de-brume-r by revoyre

caissodre-montijodocks by amabok

matosinhos-beach-in-between-bar-and-waterline by digitopia

The King has been missing for a long time. All of his friends who are not time-travellers are worried sick.

His friends who are time-travellers, however, have more pressing mysteries on their mind - what is the best way to keep the wild gods of the Arctic from knocking down his rad castle? What really went down at the Sack of Rome, which is hands-down the coolest part of history? And why is Ba'al Hadad, god of thunder and fertility, such a useless layabout?

But don't worry friends, there's a Magic Telephone on the hall table and everything will be all right when he calls back.

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Written and edited by Tom McNally

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Performed by Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards with special guest star Peter Markiner.

Peter Marinker played Caesar

Amy Sutton played Saint Francis

Joshua Crisp played Ba'al

Tom McNally did the narration and played The King's Great-Great Grandfather, Mechanicus and General Magnificent

Theme tune and musical stings by Nicolai Roos

Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:

SACK OF ROME

00853 distant demolition by Robinhood76

War Drum Single Hits by Matt Namer

BurlingtonIndustriesImplosion by the_toilet_guy

Cardboard burning 1 by raremess

Bonfire Flames by Electroviolence

Riot Crowd Immersed in 5.1 Take 2 by MrProfDrDickweed

CHILLINOUS PLAINS

Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1

wind3 by eliasheuninck

svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo

Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab

Station central hall 2 by Sandermotions

bronze object in wind 140816_0376 by klankbeeld

KITCHEN

Kitchen ambiance by Hourofmidnight

Cutlery dropping into drawer by kitschead

Cutlery_2 by coldwellw

Glass dishes by bolcol

Previously on The Saga of the European King…

It's been a long time and a lot has happened. Maybe you've listened to Book One and maybe you haven't. Either way, you might need a refresher course on the King, Europe and the Saga that involves both before you crash Book Two into your brain. This is that refresher course.

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Written and edited by Tom McNally

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Performed by Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards

Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Ex-Queen, Prince Prince, Queen Medb, Saint Francis and Pineycone

Joshua Crisp played Father Figaro, Axe Axewound, Colonel Glowfist, Ba'al, the Green King

Tom McNally did the narration and played the King, Terrorthaw, General Magnificent, Mechanicus and the Devil

Ben Edwards was Cutty

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Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos

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Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:

Little wings by user dobroide

magpie-wingsflapping by user digifishmusic

swansflyby by user acclivity

beating-wings by user juskiddink

bird-building02, grackles by user soundbytez

bird-flapping-wings by user elfman-rox

mallad-and-mandarin-ducks-with-take-off by user pillonoise

04342-sucking-vacuum-whooshes by user robinhood76

vaccum by user tpb

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Track art by Tom McNally

The Ex-Queen makes her move and the King is caught at every disadvantage. The Irish, the birds, and a three-man tent meet in glorious, decisive battle as the King fights to keep his family exactly how he likes it.

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Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann

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Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.

Ellen Buckley played Queen Medb

Joshua Crisp as Saint Artalus

Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist & Pineycone

Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound & Father Figaro

Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield, the Ex-Queen & Prince Prince

Tom McNally did the narration and played the King

Ben Edwards was Cutty

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The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos

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Track art by Bruno Stahl

The King comes back to life just in time to face the rampaging Irish hordes brought to his doorstep by his ex-wife. Queen Medb has also been brought back to life after being in Hell for however many years. The King doesn't even get to meet her before her motives are brought into question.

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Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann

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Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.

Ellen Buckley played Queen Medb

Joshua Crisp as Ba'al, Dr. Tchaikovsky, Lord Moneyfight & Little Louie, Duke of Portugal

Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist, Saint Francis & Pineycone

Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, General Magnificent & The Green King

Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield and the Ex-Queen

Tom McNally did the narration and played the King

Ben Edwards was Cutty

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The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos

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Track art by Bruno Stahl

The King hits all of the nightclubs in an attempt to mend his broken heart, while the Adventure Team recruits a charming new friend who is also an ancient Irish queen. Nothing but the best for the Adventure Team.

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Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann

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Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.

Ellen Buckley played Queen Medb

Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist

Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, The Green King & the Devil

Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield, Helen & Emma

Tom McNally did the narration and played the King & the Devil

Ben Edwards was Cutty

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The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos

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Track art by Tom McNally