The Same Boat

Go to a good school. Get a good job. Make good money. Marry a good person. Sounds simple enough, right? Sure except for the ones who aren't smart enough, not skilled or disciplined enough, not savvy enough, not attractive enough. Not good enough.

I invite you to listen to Rodrigo Castro's journey into the heart of darkness, where he realized not only was he not good enough for the goals of society, but he also wasn't good enough to make atonement for his sins. 

Thankfully, just as God showed He can use a talking donkey to do His will, He can also use an LSD trip to reveal His majesty and grace.

Follow Roy on Instagram @thisisroykim or visit his website: www.newlegacycounseling.com

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

What do you do when your church boss is ok with false teaching? What do you do when there is someone influential in your church who pretty much resembles a cult leader? What do you do if you have to decide between ministry and spouse?

Listen in as I speak with "Bob" about this predicament. This story is both awful and awesome. (Bob's voice has been digitally altered to protect his identity).

Follow Roy on Instagram @thisisroykim or visit his website: www.newlegacycounseling.com

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

Hatty Lee rejoins me to continue our discussion about growing up as parentified children. In this episode we cover topics such as:

• The importance of intentionally creating space for ourselves to identify and express our emotions
• The fear of losing our identity or role as a caregiver
• Is there only one way to honor our parents?
• Avoiding being a "burden" to others
• Can we prevent our own kids from being parentified children?
• What can family therapy look like with our parents?
• Is it helpful to "retire" our parents?

Follow Hatty on Instagram @hattyjlee, and visit her website www.oakandstonetherapy.com

Follow Roy on Instagram @thisisroykim or visit his website: www.newlegacycounseling.com

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

"You are not equipped to give your parents the love and care they needed and did not get from their own caregivers and partner," says Hatty J. Lee, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.

Many of us have felt tremendous pressure to listen to our parents' marital problems, to protect them from loneliness or worthless feelings, to give them grandchildren for their legacy. Sometimes it seems like obligation, duty, or even pity.

Where do these feelings and thoughts come from? What happens when we live as a surrogate spouse, as a surrogate savior? 

Hatty and I do a deep dive into this hot topic that affects so many of us. Join the conversation!

Follow Hatty on Instagram @hattyjlee or visit her website: www.oakandstonetherapy.com

Follow Roy on Instagram @thisisroykim or visit his website: www.newlegacycounseling.com

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

What is it like being undocumented in the US? 2 Koreans who grew up in America, but have not been granted citizenship, bravely tell their stories. 

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

Cheryl Kang Prout and Vivianne Kelly of Cordial Family Lawyers, LLP provide an intimate glimpse into the world of divorce mediation. Some of the questions we discuss:

• Are all family lawyers the same?
• How does divorce affect kids?
• How is your conscience affected as a family law attorney?
• Is there a way to make divorce less painful or harmful?
• How can mediators be ministers?

I was blown away by how much I learned from my guests, and I hope you will be illuminated as well. Please share this episode with anyone you know who is considering divorce. 

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

Has anyone ever apologized to you, and it really didn't feel like an apology at all? Have you ever tried apologizing to someone, and it had little effect on the person? On today's episode, Christine Lister and I discuss effective ways to apologize, and how resolving conflict increases intimacy. Plus, there's an additional surprise guest interview you won't want to miss!

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

Something very bizarre and scary happened to Aly Lee, a student at University of Virginia. Tune in to hear what happened. Discover that you're not alone as we talk about:

1. The agony of not having answers
2. Worst case scenarios
3. Choosing between praying for good outcomes and embracing suffering
4. Why certain people mean well, but just aren't helpful.
5. And more!

Thank you all for your ongoing support of this podcast, your reviews, shares and emails are such an encouragement!

If you'd like to read more of Alyson's writing, check out these links:

http://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2018/10/i-had-a-stroke

http://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2018/11/six-mris-and-counting

http://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2018/12/back-to-new-normalcy

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

Catherine Morrill, Susette Magana and I wrap up our discussion of the book "How We Love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. We talk about the concept of Secure Connection as the antidote to the 5 unhealthy love styles that we all tend to find ourselves repeating.

Some of the topics we cover:
What does it mean to securely connect with another person?
If I don’t naturally connect with others, can I get better? If so, how?
Is there a better way for me to be understood by others?
Why are emotions important, and why do we downplay them?
“God, change my spouse” and other unhelpful prayers

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat

Licensed MFTs Catherine Morrill (www.soulrestorationproject.org/catherine-morrill) and Susette Magana (www.susettemagana.com) and I discuss the relationship book "How We Love" by Milan and Kay Yerkovich.

Chances are that you can relate to at least one of these statements:
Why do people get so emotional, why can't they just move on?
My spouse has communication issues.
Sometimes I tell white lies to avoid conflict.
I have trouble saying no.
When people apologize to me, it's often too little too late.
I want to feel deep connection, I want to be pursued.
I stay in destructive relationships.
I lose my temper but they made me.

If so, then you'll want to listen in! And you definitely don't have to be married to benefit from the book and the discussion.

Would LOVE your feedback: [email protected]. Please help support the podcast by sharing on social, reviewing on your podcast app, or becoming a patron >> www.patreon.com/thesameboat