It's my last week of office life! Where am I going? You'll have to wait until next time to find out...very mysterious, I know. Anyway, there are more interesting things to discuss, like The Oklahoma Drill and transgender shaving cream...didn't know shaving cream had a gender? Well guess what, it does. All that, a trip to the top of Mt. Everest, and much more in this episode of The Savage Sacktap.

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MDW is upon us! For the non-New Jersey listener, that means it's time for tits, tats, and tans. Summer is New Jersey's most important season, it's when we all descend on the shore in search of a killer buzz and some killer box -- you know what I mean. I'll give you a glimpse into the shore life before dispensing some Game of Thrones knowledge on you jive turkeys, then wrap it all up with some tasty current events.

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We begin this week's episode with a brief foray into the world of Brazilian fart porn, much to Mike's delight! Then it's a brief recap of the big wedding weekend, filled with big black dongs, phat ass white girls, and stinky ass feet. It's also time once again to serve it to the Game of Thrones haters, this week I'm going in on the keyboard warriors who are mad at the writers for making Dany act like a Targaryen. We got fire, blood, and piping hot episode of the Savage Sacktap!

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Surprise!!! This week's episode is up a few days early, and boy did I phone it in. The family is Florida-bound for a wedding -- like a sitcom that's running out of plot ideas. Before the happy couple walks the plank...err down the aisle, I have some podcasting to do. Hiding with Anne Frank, defecating at work, the worst place to molest someone, and naughty behavior in the hundred acre wood coming up.

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Had some audio issues during the first few minutes, because as it turns out, I'm a complete idiot...but then again, maybe I'm actually a genius because I did eventually fix it. Either way, treat yourselves to a little recap of my brother's bachelor party (complete with angry fat chicks and illicit substances), then steel your nerves for an insight filled rehashing of the Battle of Winterfell. We'll sprinkle on a little valtrex as I tackle the herpes problem at Coachella, before unpacking the cuckery going on at Swarthmore.

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The Night King may be out there waking the dead, but only the Morning King can podcast. Giving the fans a taste of granny porn to start things off before delving into my thoughts on life as an OG Game of Thrones fan before delving into my memories of the Columbine shooting -- I wasn't there, but I heard about it on the news. We also have some delightful news to cover featuring; randy scout leaders, murderous teens, and micro-dicks!

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Apparently Quasimodo fell asleep with a cigarette in his mouth and yada yada yada Notre Dame went up in flames. The Catholics are crying, but the molestation victims are thrilled. They overthrew the government in Sudan, and I'm hoping for a dictator with a long ool name and a sweet pair of aviator shades. That plus a white woman appropriates Chinese cooking, minus the MSG, and a chick who really loves Columbine...or maybe just the 1990s, still not sure because she's dead.

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Finally a condom that rapists and victims can both agree on! I'll explain the bizarre logic behind the 'consent condom' and ponder the 'dress for respect' as the war on groping continues. First a recap of my booze and baseball filled weekend, a mocking glance at the U.S. political scene and some well deserved scorn for older men who lust after fit young athletes. The whole thing pairs perfectly with a piping hot 'gay hatin chicken sandwich' courtesy of the cok lovers over at Chick Fil A.

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Hey there folks, tossing up a special mid-week edition of the Savage Sacktap. It's a walk down memory lane featuring some fun moments from our first couple years of sacktappery. You'll be seeing these pop up here from time to time as we try to spread word about the show. Roseanne's 'racist' rants, liberal lunacy, fun with internet porn, sage advice about unskilled spelunking and more are on tap. Enjoy!

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Mike is stoked for the Mets home opener, but there's much more than baseball to discuss this week including busty bartenders, beers, and bloodies (that's what assholes call bloody Marys). And in other 'B word' news, some dope from St. Louis thinks it's okay to slice his bagels like a loaf of bread...no surprise he also gets those bagels at Panera -- gross! A tip of the cap to The Dirt, before moving on to White Privilege, the scourge of internet activists everywhere, and trying to figure out why the youngins aren't gettin laid.

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