The Science and Soul of Living Well

In this episode, I have a deeply powerful and inspiring conversation with Dr. Joanne Cacciatore (@grief_doctor), a grief educator, bereaved mother, tenured professor, best-selling author, and more. Dr. Jo started the first therapeutic carefarm in the world (@selah_carefarm) for traumatic grief which was recently featured on Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry's Apple TV docuseries, "The Me You Can't See."

Dr. Jo and I talk about both the subtle and more obvious ways American culture often marginalizes, invalidates, and oversimplifies grief and human suffering. We share our perspectives on what it means to live with and learn to carry grief in different seasons of life, and how we can responsibly work together to truly honor and hold space for the depth, breadth, and complexity of grief. Dr. Jo highlights some of her research findings that emphasize the unique role that animals can play in helping us navigate grief, and how we can learn from the quality of presence they offer. We also talk candidly about what it means to decolonize grief and trauma work. We also discuss how turning away from any kind suffering is not only unhelpful, but it also enables and perpetuates injustice. When we allow ourselves to feel the pain of another being, it offers an opportunity for deeper connection and an appreciation of our interconnectedness, without the kind of blaming and othering that hurts us all.

About Dr. Jo: Dr Jo is tenured research professor at Arizona State University, where she runs the graduate Certificate in Trauma and Bereavement, and also founded the MISS Foundation. Since 1996, she has worked with and counseled those affected by traumatic death, most often the deaths of a children. She started Selah Carefarm, based on a framework for incorporating 40 domestic and farm animals rescued from abuse, torture, neglect, and homelessness. Her best selling book, Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief, won the Indies Book of the Year Award and her most recent book of meditations, Grieving is Loving, was released in December of 2020. To connect with Dr. Jo, visit her website (https://www.centerforlossandtrauma.com).

Additional Resources & Information

Decolonizing Trauma Work by Renee Linklater

For practices that can support you in times of transition, stress, and hardship, check out my free 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

If you're interested in some support crafting personalized mantras to help you navigate difficult anxiety-filled moments, check out the free guide (https://melissafoynes.com/anxiety-mantras).

For personalized support integrating tools from evidence-based psychology and ancient wisdom traditions, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit is right, apply today to join the waitlist for 2022: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, feel free to email me at @drfoynes on Instagram.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In this episode, I have a rich conversation with Becca Clegg (@beccaclegglpc), an inspiring author, psychotherapist, embodiment teacher, consultant, & speaker, about listening to & learning from your body's wisdom.

Becca & I talk about what it means to live in an "embodied" way & why embodiment is so important. We also offer specific examples of how to recognize when you are veering toward disembodiment. Throughout our conversation, we share simple & accessible ways you can deepen your own practice of embodiment. We also highlight how embodiment and connecting and/or reconnecting with your body is a non-judgmental, compassionate framework for feeling what you feel. Such an approach can counteract your conditioning from cultural messages and life experiences that has taught you to view the body as shameful, or to understandably associate the body with a lack of safety. We close by discussing ways of cultivating more resilience in the face of stress through simple vagal toning practices. The journey towards increased embodiment is personal, not linear, and possible for everyone.

Becca Clegg is an author, psychotherapist, embodiment teacher, consultant, and speaker. She has worked for over 15 years as a therapist and currently has a private practice specializing in the treatment of women’s issues in Atlanta, GA. She has passion for working with women and strives to provide a supportive place for her clients and community to explore and heal their relationship with food, self-image, embodiment, spirituality (connection to that which goes deeper than the physical) & personal development. To connect with Becca, visit her website (https://rebeccaclegg.com), follow her on Instagram (@beccaclegglpc), & check our her book (https://rebeccaclegg.com/the-book/).

Additional Resources & Information

If you're interested in personalized support that integrates tools from evidence-based psychology and ancient wisdom traditions, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit is right, apply today to join the waitlist for 2022: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, feel free to email me at 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

If you notice perfectionism in your relationship to your body, check out the free 49-page workbook "A Guided Self-Assessment: Understanding Perfectionistic Tendencies" (https://melissafoynes.com/perfectionistic-tendencies) and the accompanying 3-part perfectionism series on the podcast (Episodes 28, 29, and 30).

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on learning from your body's wisdom and living in a more embodied way.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In today's episode, I speak with Ameya Duprey (@ShaktiCare), board certified Ayurvedic practitioner, massage therapist and Ayurvedic postpartum doula about 5 key pillars of Ayurvedic wisdom ("eat, heat, sleep, love, and repeat") that can guide postpartum care that truly nurtures the birthing parent in the immediate aftermath of birth and for many years beyond.

Ayurveda is a rich and complex holistic preventative medicine system originating in India over 5,000 years ago. Ayurveda can promote recalibration in times of stress, transition, and imbalance, and there are specific recommendations and healing modalities that can be particularly beneficial in the postpartum period, regardless of how the birth unfolded and the birth parent's unique mental and physical constitution prior to pregnancy. Ayurvedic postpartum care is well beyond the scope of one episode, so we hone in on some concrete takeaways you can share with others and implement in your own life.

Ameya has been helping postpartum mothers fully heal from birth for over a decade. Her works include her published postpartum cookbook Mama’s Menu: Ayurvedic Recipes for Postpartum Healing, her signature postpartum recovery program Fully Healed Mama, and her postpartum care blog, ShaktiCare.com

Check out Ameya's FREE masterclass How To Fully Heal From Birth Without Feeling Stressed & Exhausted at https://shakticare.com/heal. To learn more about Ameya or to connect with her further, visit her website, full of resources include a rich and comprehensive blog: https://shakticare.com

Additional Resources & Information

If you're interested in personalized support that integrates Ayurveda in addition to other tools from evidence-based psychology and ancient wisdom traditions, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit is right, apply today to join the waitlist for 2022: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, feel free to email me at 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

Check out the free 49-page workbook "A Guided Self-Assessment: Understanding Perfectionistic Tendencies" (https://melissafoynes.com/perfectionistic-tendencies) and the accompanying 3-part perfectionism series on the podcast (Episodes 28, 29, and 30).

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and thriving with the support of Ayurveda and its many practices.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In today's episode, I share some pearls of wisdom from Ayurveda, a rich and complex holistic preventative medicine system originating in India over 5,000 years ago. One translation of the word "Ayurveda" means "the science of life."

Ayurveda can deepen your understanding of your unique mental and physical constitution in ways that can help you cultivate and craft your life in ways that promotes recalibration in times of stress, transition, and imbalance. Ayurvedic healing modalities include food, nutrition, and spices, specific physical activities, addressing thought patterns and actions, lifestyle practices, pranayama (breathwork), meditation, bodywork (e.g., abhyanga (warm oil massage), marma therapy), detoxification practices, daily and seasonal rituals and routines, and more. This body of wisdom is well beyond the scope of one episode, so today's focus will be on a few key nuggets.

In addition to sharing more about what Ayurveda is and what personally drew me to Ayurveda, I share some key Ayurvedic principles (e.g., various Ayurvedic modalities, 5 elements, tridoshic theory, impacts of daily and seasonal rhythms) and offer some tips for self-study that can help you learn more about yourself through the lens of Ayurveda. I also describe examples of specific pranayama (breath work) and meditation practices that from an Ayurvedic practice can bring you more into balance depending on what is happening for you mentally, physically, seasonally, etc.

Additional Resources & Information

If you're interested in personalized support that integrates Ayurveda in addition to other tools from evidence-based psychology and ancient wisdom traditions, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit is right, apply today for one of my final 2 spots for 2021: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, feel free to email me at 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

Check out the free 49-page workbook "A Guided Self-Assessment: Understanding Perfectionistic Tendencies" (https://melissafoynes.com/perfectionistic-tendencies) and the accompanying 3-part perfectionism series on the podcast (Episodes 28, 29, and 30).

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and thriving with the support of Ayurveda and its many practices.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In today's episode, I briefly review what "high sensitivity" means. I also discuss different kinds of boundaries and containers that can help you thrive as an HSP. I also share examples of common barriers that many HSPs face in cultivating lifestyles that support boundaries and containers. I also offer some concrete tips and actionable strategies for for setting and maintaining boundaries as an HSP, including 1) ways to stay balanced in your life and consistently implement meaningful self-care practices that keep high sensitivity in mind, 2) ways to regularly tune into your inner landscape of thoughts, emotions, and sensations, 3) ways to use your inner awareness to identify what you need/want in terms of boundaries/containers, 4) ways to articulate and skillfully communicate to others what you need/want when it comes to boundaries/containers.

Additional Resources & Information

Because HSPs are so attuned to the external environment and tend to be highly conscientious, they can at times struggle with perfectionism. If this sounds like you, download free 49-page workbook "A Guided Self-Assessment: Understanding Perfectionistic Tendencies" (https://melissafoynes.com/perfectionistic-tendencies) and check-out the accompanying 3-part perfectionism series on the podcast (Episodes 28, 29, and 30).

If you're interested in personalized support in understanding and navigating high sensitivity in a compassionate way that nourishes your unique needs and strengths, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit is right, apply today for one of my final 2 spots for 2021: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, feel free to email me at 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and thriving as a highly sensitive person.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In today's episode, I describe the trait of high sensitivity and share some key research that is helpful in understanding high sensitivity. I also discuss how cultural values, families of origin, life experiences and relationships shape our perceptions of high sensitivity. The judgment and criticism that highly sensitive people (HSPs) often face from others can result in an internalization of these harmful messages and profound self-judgment. Because this self-judgment can really erode self-esteem as an HSP, I share several examples of concrete ways we can both individually and collectively work on reframing how we think, talk about, and treat high sensitivity. I conclude by sharing key principles and actionable steps for facilitating your recovery from criticism and invalidation as an HSP.

Additional Resources & Information

Because HSPs are so attuned to the external environment and tend to be highly conscientious, they can at times struggle with perfectionism. If this sounds like you, download free 49-page workbook "A Guided Self-Assessment: Understanding Perfectionistic Tendencies" (https://melissafoynes.com/perfectionistic-tendencies) and check-out the accompanying 3-part perfectionism series on the podcast (Episodes 28, 29, and 30).

If you're interested in personalized support in understanding and navigating high sensitivity in a compassionate way that nourishes your unique needs and strengths, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit is right, apply today for one of my final 2 spots for 2021: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, feel free to email me at 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and thriving as a highly sensitive person.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In today's episode, I focus on actionable ways that you can break the cycle of perfectionism and shift perfectionistic tendencies. I highlight various principles that I think are important to keep in mind as you go on this journey, as well as some helpful strategies and tips that I have found to be useful in addressing perfectionism in my own life and in the lives of the clients with whom I work. I start off by sharing a definition of perfectionism derived from decades of research, and then discuss the importance of identifying what motivates you, on a personal level, to let go of perfectionism. We'll then talk about how to draw from any fears and hopes that underlie your perfectionistic tendencies to affirm your process of letting go of perfectionism and help you stay motivated, as well as help you flip the script on any harmful narratives about perfectionism and your worth. I'll also talk about ways to practice imperfection in a way that is accessible and can be easily integrated into a busy lifestyle, and share some ideas for learning ways to practice admiring and celebrating imperfection. I also share tools and strategies for shifting your relationship to mistakes. I close by talking about both self-compassion and self-forgiveness and ways to practice both in your life. I'll also highlight the reasons that the practices of both self-compassion and self-forgiveness are so essential to letting go of perfectionism. I loved doing this whole series and hope you tune into the final part of it! 

Additional Resources & Information

Download the free 49-page workbook "A Guided Self-Assessment: Understanding Perfectionistic Tendencies" that accompanies this 3-part perfectionism series: https://melissafoynes.com/perfectionistic-tendencies

If you're interested in personalized support in understanding and breaking through patterns of perfectionism, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit is right, apply today for one of my final 2 spots for 2021: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, feel free to email me at 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and addressing perfectionistic tendencies.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

This week's episode is the second episode in a three-part series on perfectionism. This episode is intended to give you an opportunity to dive more deeply into different domains of your life (e.g., physical appearance, physical fitness, profession, hobbies/vocation, parenting/mentorship, relationships, sexual life, physical environment, vulnerability, relationship to time and space, relationship to success, self-worth/beliefs) and to thoughtfully and non-judgmentally consider some of your tendencies and ways in which they may rise to the level of perfectionism, even if in subtle ways. Reflecting on perfectionistic patterns and ways they both do and don’t serve you helps you live more intentionally. With this increased awareness and insight, you then have the power to make changes in any areas of your life in which perfectionistic tendencies no longer serve you. Don't forget to tune into the third and final part of this series for some concrete strategies on breaking through cycles of perfectionism.

Additional Resources & Information

Download the free 49-page workbook "A Guided Self-Assessment: Understanding Perfectionistic Tendencies" that accompanies this 3-part perfectionism series: https://melissafoynes.com/perfectionistic-tendencies

If you're interested in personalized support in understanding and breaking through patterns of perfectionism, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program and if the fit feels right, apply today for one of my final 2 spots for 2021: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

If you are interested in a free consultation to chat about whether the 1:1 program may be right for you, please feel free to email me at 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and addressing perfectionistic tendencies.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In this first episode of a 3-part series on perfectionism, I define perfectionism and outline three key dimensions: 1) 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮, which involves requiring perfection of yourself, 2) 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳-𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮 which involves requiring perfection of other people, and 3) 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮, which involves believing that other people require perfection of you. I also help you examine the ways in which perfectionism may show up in varying degrees in different life domains of your life (e.g., appearance, physical fitness, profession, hobbies/vocation, parenting/mentorship, relationships, sexual life, physical environment, vulnerability, relationship to time and space, relationship to success, self-worth/beliefs). I describe some of the root causes of perfectionism to help you consider how perfectionism might have been developed in your own life, all through a lens of compassion since perfectionistic tendencies often develop in an attempt to cope with anxiety and in response to prior life experiences and conditioning. I also dispel common myths about perfectionism by sharing what the research says about the pros and cons of different dimensions of perfectionism. Throughout, I emphasize the importance of really gaining insight into your perfectionistic tendencies and patterns and the ways in which they both do and don't serve you so you can have more clarity with which to decide what, if anything, you want to change in your life and can therefore live from a more intentional place. Stay tuned for the next two episodes in this 3-part series, as well as a forthcoming free workbook to accompany you as you continue to understand and address perfectionistic tendencies. 

Additional Resources & Information

For more strategies that can support you in managing perfectionistic tendencies, check out my free 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

If you're interested in personalized support in understanding and breaking through patterns of perfectionism, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and addressing perfectionistic tendencies.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

In this episode, I speak with Kira Willey (@kirawilley), an award-winning children’s music artist, author, kids’ yoga & mindfulness expert, TEDx speaker, & creator of Rockin’ Yoga school programs (read more about Kira below). Kira is an incredibly inspiring & passionate gem of a human, & she has dedicated herself so wholeheartedly to sharing the wisdom of "the 3 M's" (mindfulness, movement, & music) & their benefits for children & adults alike.

Kira shares the 3 Ms in such an accessible way & demystifies what it means to practice them daily. She emphasizes how important it is to have FUN with them & "bite-sized" ways you can practice them that truly make a difference in your ability to approach life with more presence, flexibility, & heart.

In this episode we discuss: 1) ways you can be mindful & active at the same time; 2) how mindfulness, movement, & music help you regulate & learn better; 3) the power of training yourself to slow down & pause in our fast-paced culture; 4) self-awareness as the foundation of kindness, compassion, gratitude & responsible decision-making; 5) letting go of judgments about how mindfulness "should" look & finding what works for you & your family.

Additional Resources

Get Kira's free mindfulness printables based on her books at rebrand.ly/mindfulnesskit.

Check out my free 4-part video series on building resilience & living more mindfully, which highlights 4 key pillars of resilience including enhancing body awareness, decreasing your stress response, clarifying your values & deepening your connection to them, & cultivating self-compassion: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

If you're interested in personalized, holistic, support that can help enhance mindful living, see if applying for my 1:1 Coaching Program may be right for you: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram or Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.com/drfoynes/).

More about Kira:

Website: kirawilley.com

TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/uOlIdmMK_zM

IG: @kirawilley

FB: Facebook.com/kirawilley

Twitter: @kirawilley

Kira Willey is an award-winning children’s music artist, author, kids’ yoga & mindfulness expert, TEDx speaker, & creator of Rockin’ Yoga school programs. Her five releases of yoga albums for kids have all won numerous industry awards & earned national acclaim; her hit songs include “Colors,” which was featured in a worldwide Dell ad campaign. Her most recent release is Every Voice, winner of Parents’ Choice Gold, that Foundation’s highest award. The single "Real Girl," from Every Voice, was given ASCAP's 2018 Joe Raposa Children's Song Award.

Kira’s children’s mindfulness books include the bestselling “Breathe Like a Bear” (Random House Kids), which has earned more than 2,000 five-star reviews & been translated into eleven foreign languages. A companion book, "Peaceful Like A Panda,” with 30 all-new mindful moments proven to to help children calm themselves down, let go of stress, & focus their energy, is available now!

Kira has also authored the children’s board book series "Mindfulness Moments for Kids,”  which includes the titles "Listen Like an Elephant,” "Breathe Like A Bear,” & “Bunny Breaths;” a fourth title will be published in 2021.

PBS TV affiliates nationwide air "Breathe With Me" & "Fireflies Yoga,” two yoga-for-kids programs Kira created & hosts; her “Music You Can Move To” series with kids’ music superstar Laurie Berkner can be heard daily on SiriusXM Radio. Kira’s TEDx talk, “Bite-Sized Mindfulness,” can be viewed online. 

Kira speaks at conferences, leads Professional Development days & teacher trainings, & performs Rockin' Yoga Assemblies & Concerts with her band nationwide. She also leads the River Valley Choir, plays fiddle in the not-quite-bluegrass band Moonshine & Millet, & is a founder of the singing-is-for-everyone experience, Choir & Company!