C.S. Lewis once described himself as “the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England.” He did not come to faith because he was eager to find God. He came to faith because, in his own words, God closed in.

In this episode, Scott Sauls reflects on Lewis’s conversion, Adam and Eve hiding in Genesis 3, Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman in John 4, and the Father who seeks worshipers before they know how to seek him. If your faith feels weak, inconsistent, reluctant, or tired, this episode is a reminder that the Christian life does not begin with your pursuit of God. It begins with God’s pursuit of you.

Links:

Why does anything exist at all? And why do we exist?

It is the kind of question we can avoid for a long time, until awe, grief, success, failure, or exhaustion brings it back to the surface. Some answer by saying life is an accident and meaning is something we must create for ourselves. Others live as if meaning must be earned through achievement, usefulness, admiration, or success.

But Christianity offers a deeper and more durable answer. The world exists because God created it. Not because He was lonely or needy, but because God is love. And if that is true, then your life is not an accident, your worth is not up for review, and you do not have to justify your existence.

In this episode, Scott Sauls reflects on creation, ambition, anxiety, Genesis, Apollo 8, and the God who made you, came for you, and holds you together.

Links:

Why do so many successful, admired, high-capacity people feel so deeply alone?

In this episode, Scott Sauls explores the hidden loneliness that often lives behind public visibility, leadership, popularity, and constant responsibility. From Michael Jackson’s longing to be treated like an ordinary neighbor, to Lady Gaga’s description of the silence that follows the crowd, to the quiet burdens carried by pastors, executives, parents, artists, and caregivers, this episode considers why being surrounded by people is not the same as being truly known.

Scott also turns to Genesis, where the first thing God calls “not good” is a human being alone, and to Jesus, who entered the deepest loneliness of Gethsemane and the cross. Loneliness is not proof that something is wrong with you. It is a sign that you were made for connection, communion, and love.

For anyone who has felt unseen while being useful, admired while being unknown, or strong while quietly exhausted, this episode offers a deeply Christian word of hope: you are not alone, and you never have been.

LINKS:

The Mercy King: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/243610949-the-mercy-king?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=Ffs0dWk8OZ&rank=1

Website: http://scottsauls.com

Essays: http://scottsauls.substack.com

Socials: https://linktr.ee/scottsauls

The small acts of faithfulness in your life may feel ordinary, hidden, and easily forgotten. But because Jesus walked out of the grave first, none of it is wasted. The meal cooked for a struggling neighbor, the correction spoken to a child, the good work done when no one was watching, and the forgiveness extended in secret are all being folded into a future that has already begun in the resurrection of Jesus. In this episode, Scott Sauls reflects on John 11, the hope of resurrection, and the promise that grief, pain, and death do not get the final word. Jesus does.

LINKS:

The Mercy King: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/243610949-the-mercy-king?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=Ffs0dWk8OZ&rank=1 Website: http://scottsauls.com Essays: http://scottsauls.substack.com Socials: https://linktr.ee/scottsauls

Leo Tolstoy had nearly everything people associate with a successful life: literary genius, wealth, family, fame, influence, and security. Yet by his own account, he found himself deeply restless and despairing.

In this episode, Scott Sauls reflects on Tolstoy’s crisis and the three false gospels that still steal joy today: comfort, control, and approval. Each one begins as a good desire. Each one becomes destructive when we ask it to do what only Christ can do.

Comfort promises peace but often delivers numbness. Control promises safety but often delivers exhaustion. Approval promises worth but often delivers the slow disappearance of the self.

The first commandment is not merely a rule. It is a diagnosis. We were made for God, and when we build our lives on anything less than him, even the best things eventually break under the weight.

Links:

You can believe in grace and still live as though God is disappointed in you.

In this episode, Scott Sauls reflects on the hidden equation many Christians carry: God’s love equals Jesus plus our current spiritual and moral performance. Through the story of Peter in Luke 5, the ache beneath achievement, and the difference between forgiveness and mercy, Scott considers why grace can feel unsafe to receive and why Jesus moves toward us when shame tells us to pull away.

For anyone who has confused usefulness with lovability, or who feels tired from trying to become enough, this episode offers a thoughtful and honest reminder: God’s mercy does not wait for us to become presentable. It meets us where we are most afraid to be known.

Links:

What should you do when your prayer is not calm, composed, or polite, but angry?

In this episode, Scott Sauls looks at Habakkuk, C.S. Lewis, Job, the Psalms, and Martin Luther to explore whether anger toward God is always a sign of weak faith. Scripture is far more honest about complaint, grief, protest, and unanswered questions than many church cultures have allowed.

Angry prayer may not be the death of faith. It may be one of the clearest signs that you are still in the conversation with God. If you have ever wondered whether God can handle your honesty, this episode is for you.

Key Scriptures: Habakkuk 1:2-4, Habakkuk 2:1-4, Habakkuk 3:17-18

References: C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed; Martin Luther's prayers from 1525

LINKS:

In this episode, Scott Sauls reflects on John 11, the death of Lazarus, and Jesus’ stunning promise to Martha: “I am the resurrection and the life.” Drawing from Elie Wiesel’s Night, Tim Keller’s preaching after September 11, and C.S. Lewis’s The Great Divorce, this episode explores the difference between mere consolation and true Christian resurrection hope. When suffering, grief, unanswered prayer, and God’s silence threaten faith, Jesus does not offer sentimental escape. He enters our sorrow, weeps with us, and promises restoration through his cross and empty tomb.

VIDEOS:

In this episode, Scott Sauls explores the difference between guilt and shame through The Scarlet Letter, Genesis 3, Brené Brown, Brennan Manning, and the mercy of Jesus. Shame says, “I am something bad,” and it drives us to cover, hide, and fear being fully known. But from Eden to the cross, Scripture tells a better story: we cover ourselves badly, but God covers us truly. If you have carried a scarlet letter of your own, this episode offers a gospel-centered reminder that in Christ, you are fully known, fully loved, and no longer left hiding.

ADDITIONAL LINKS:

The Mercy King: https://tinyurl.com/3prx4wp3

Website: https://linktr.ee/scottsauls

In this episode, Scott Sauls shares personally about struggles like perfectionism, drivenness, shame, and the exhausting attempt to find worth through achievement. He also shares the invitation Jesus gives to every overextended, over-functioning heart: to stop striving for an approval that has already been freely given.

Drawing from Psalm 23, Luke 15, and themes from his newest book, The Mercy King, this episode is for anyone who has succeeded and still felt empty, failed and wondered if God was disappointed, or carried shame while struggling to receive grace.

The good news is not that we finally run hard enough toward God. It is that his goodness and mercy have been pursuing us all along.