The Self-Authority Podcast

Why is it so hard to stop overthinking—even when you know it isn’t helping? Elaine Belson, the Self-Authority Coach, explores six common forms of overthinking and explains how it can create a false sense of control while increasing anxiety.

Using examples from client experiences, Elaine shares a practical three-step way to work with uncomfortable feelings: name the feeling, identify what’s causing it, and consider what’s within your control. Instead of judging yourself or trying to push emotions away, you can treat them as information about your needs and take a more intentional next step.

• Six types of overthinking: mind reading, second-guessing, anticipating others’ reactions, comparing yourself to others, overanalyzing, and self-criticism
• Why overthinking can distract from the feelings and needs underneath
• A three-step process for responding to emotions
• How to focus on what you can control—and stay present
• Using self-compassion and curiosity instead of judgment

• 0:00 Why overthinking is hard to stop
• 2:05 Six types of overthinking
• 3:37 Emotions as information
• 4:24 A three-step process for working with feelings
• 5:30 Applying the process to overwhelm
• 7:40 Turning overthinking into problem-solving
• 8:47 How feelings help us find balance
• 9:44 Comparing yourself to others
• 12:19 Self-forgiveness and curiosity

If this episode was helpful, like, subscribe, and share it with someone who could use a little self-authority in their life.

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.SelfAuthorityCoaching.com

Work-Life Harmony: Building a Business Without Burning Out with Amy Pierre-Russo

What if the answer to overwhelm isn’t doing more—but doing what matters most?

In this episode, Elaine Belson talks with Amy Pierre-Russo, a Work-Life Harmony Coach & Strategist who partners with service-based business owners who are moms. Amy helps women create intentional routines for the lifestyle they actually want, so they can close their laptops at the end of the day confident in what they’ve done and ready to engage in what’s next.

Amy’s background spans HR, multiple coaching certifications, and mentoring with the Nasdaq Entrepreneurial Center. She has seen how the weight of personal life can quietly burn out even the most passionate founder—and her work is about changing that.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why working harder is not always the solution to feeling overwhelmed
• How small, intentional changes can create more time and energy
• The difference between work-life balance and work-life harmony
• How perfectionism and self-criticism keep women stuck
• Why rest, support, and asking for help are essential—not optional
• How to build a business that supports your life instead of consuming it

Timestamps

00:00 – Introducing Amy and the conversation on work-life harmony

01:19 – Amy’s transition from HR into coaching

04:54 – Internal boundaries and making yourself a priority

06:29 – Starting small when life already feels overwhelming

09:42 – Stop blaming yourself: work smarter, not harder

12:35 – Burnout, sustainable habits, and the ripple effect on family

15:21 – Restorative habits and moving from reactive to proactive

17:49 – Using emotions and facts to make better decisions

20:19 – Why Amy prefers “harmony” over “balance”

23:12 – Reclaiming time through practical support and systems

29:18 – Asking for help, boundaries, and building support systems

35:14 – The value of community for women business owners

38:36 – Why taking a step back can move you forward

41:33 – Letting go of what is familiar but no longer working

44:44 – Amy’s coaching, community, and free guide

46:51 – Amy’s closing reminder: you don’t have to do more

47:23 – Elaine’s reflections on self-authority and work-life harmony

Connect with Amy

Instagram: @coachingwamy

LinkedIn: coachingwamy

YouTube: @Hustle-to-Harmony

Free Guide: Simple Approaches for Accessing a Simple Lifestyle

Connect with Elaine

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.SelfAuthorityCoaching.com

What does it look like to lead without carrying everything yourself?

Elaine is joined by Dr. Stephanie Duguid, a Leadership Culture Strategist, keynote speaker, best-selling author, and host of Create Culture on Purpose: The Leadership Impact Podcast. With more than 30 years of experience in education and organizational leadership, including service as a dean and senior leader, Stephanie has guided teams through cultural transformation and organizational change.

Together, Elaine and Stephanie explore why so many women feel responsible for holding everything together, and how that pattern can lead to exhaustion and burnout. They discuss practical ways to set boundaries, navigate difficult conversations, communicate with empathy, and stop taking ownership of other people’s emotions.Stephanie also shares her simple framework for responding rather than reacting: +pause, notice, and choose.

This conversation is a reminder that leadership isn’t about doing it all. It’s about creating clarity, connection, consistency, and healthier cultures in the small moments.Through Do Good Leadership, Dr. Stephanie partners with organizations to strengthen communication, leadership alignment, and workplace culture so teams feel supported, connected, and motivated to thrive.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Setting boundaries without caring less
• Saying no and delegating with intention
• Having difficult conversations with clarity and empathy
• Building trust through communication, connection, and consistency
• Responding instead of reacting with “pause, notice, choose”
• Releasing the responsibility to solve everyone else’s problems
• Creating culture on purpose at work, at home, and in relationships

Connect with Dr. Stephanie Duguid
Website: https://www.drstephanieduguid.com/
Podcast: Create Culture on Purpose: The Leadership Impact Show https://www.drstephanieduguid.com/media
SKOOL Community: https://www.drstephanieduguid.com/skoolcommunity
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstephanieduguid/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drstephanieduguid/
Books and resources: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CNJB8TTK/allbooks?ccs_id=44ead1a5-fe13-48ad-936f-c5f25a1e1813Connect with Elaine
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min
Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson, LCSW, talks with Diane DiResta about self-authority, public speaking, and communication as a leadership skill in presentations, meetings, one-to-one conversations, and online. Drawing on her experience as a speaking coach and author of Knockout Presentations, Diane shares practical ways to reduce fear, build confidence through practice, and speak with greater presence.

• Why fear of humiliation can hold speakers back—and why it helps to have a plan for recovering from mistakes.
• How repetition, preparation, and feedback build confidence.
• Why a clear structure helps speakers avoid rambling and communicate with authority.
• How public speaking skills apply in everyday conversations, meetings, podcasts, and video.
• The importance of mindset, audience awareness, and aligning vocal, visual, and verbal communication.
• Speaking up in male-dominated environments, responding when an idea is overlooked, and adapting to an audience without losing authenticity.

00:22 - Diane’s freshman-year public speaking story
02:16 - Fear of humiliation and recovery strategies
03:13 - Turning nervous energy into confidence
04:09 - Building confidence through repetition and practice
05:18 - Preparation and delivery
06:04 - Public speaking as everyday communication
07:59 - How structure prevents rambling
10:07 - The mindset: “I have a right to be here”
12:11 - Imposter syndrome and overthinking others’ reactions
14:49 - Adapting to an audience while staying authentic
16:21 - Speaking in male-dominated fields
17:38 - Clear language instead of hedging or apologizing
20:54 - Emotions at work
23:08 - Shifting focus from self to service
24:03 - Situational speaking
28:43 - Timing, bias, and whether ideas land
30:51 - Reading audience body language
33:56 - Embracing mistakes
36:24 - Humor and grace under pressure
39:19 - Being yourself rather than a copy
40:06 - Matching your message to your audience
42:11 - Mindset and skill set
47:39 - Communication as a leadership skill

Diane DiResta, Certified Speaking Professional, is Founder and CEO of DiResta Communications, Inc., a New York City consultancy serving business leaders who deliver high-stakes presentations one-to-one, on stage, or virtually. She is the author of Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz and has spoken on four continents.

Diane has been featured on CNN and quoted in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. ZoneofGenius.com named her to its list of Top 20 Speaker Coaches and Trainers. Thanks for the invite to come ealry, Her LinkedIn Learning course, Speaking Confidently and Effectively, ranked among the Top 20 Most Popular Courses for two consecutive years.

• Press: https://www.diresta.com/press
• LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/dianediresta
• Website: http://www.diresta.com
• YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/dianediresta.com

• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
• Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min
• Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Join Elaine for a LIVE event to learn how to “Speak Up with Courage & Authority” on October 20, 2026: https://liz-lopez.mykajabi.com/speak-up

Claiming Power Without Losing Yourself with Olga Valadon

Elaine Belson, LCSW-C, talks with Olga Valadon about career transitions, self-advocacy, emotional intelligence, and how women can claim visibility without losing their values.Olga shares her move from financial services to professional services and the culture shift that made self-promotion feel uncomfortable.

She reflects on how a Stanford program helped her rethink power—not as something inherently negative, but as a tool leaders can use to support teams and help others advance. The conversation also explores people pleasing, perfectionism, the qualification trap, and small habits—like repeatedly apologizing—that can undermine authority.

Olga and Elaine discuss emotional fluency: naming and understanding emotions so leaders can respond thoughtfully, learn from feedback, and move forward after mistakes.

About Olga Valadon

Olga Valadon is a strategic advisor, executive education facilitator, and speaker with 30 years of experience in global financial and professional services. She has led teams and advised senior executives, including Boards of Directors. She is the founder of Change Aligned, a leadership advisory and development company that works with executive teams and senior leaders to improve strategy execution by harnessing emotions—the hidden driver of costs, speed, risk, and growth.

Website: https://www.olgavaladon.com/
Change Aligned: https://changealigned.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/

Timestamps

(00:31) Olga’s career transition
(02:08) Self-promotion and workplace culture
(05:14) Rethinking power and visibility
(09:21) Why self-advocacy can be difficult
(16:06) Using power for good
(21:22) Language habits and authority
(24:09) Perfectionism and the qualification trap
(31:21) Emotions as data
(37:32) Mistakes, learning, and self-judgment
(47:46) What emotional fluency means
(50:22) Feedback, posture, and language habits
(53:15) Testing assumptions and staying open to learning

Connect with Olga!

Website: https://www.olgavaladon.com/
Change Aligned: https://changealigned.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min
Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Jeanette Deatherage: Confidence, Leadership, and Building a Business

Jeanette Deatherage shares how her experience in Mary Kay, military service, and frequent relocations shaped her resilience and leadership. She discusses empowering women, rebuilding through change, adapting to virtual connection, and helping others grow in confidence and business.

In this episode

• Jeanette reflects on the importance of making people feel valued and how that principle informs her work with clients.
• She shares how military service and life as a military spouse taught her discipline, adaptability, and persistence.
• After years of having a Mary Kay business without actively building it, a mentor encouraged her to set goals and take action.
• Jeanette discusses rebuilding her business through multiple moves and adapting to virtual engagement after the pandemic.
• She talks about supporting and mentoring women, leading a team, and helping others build confidence.
• The conversation touches on aging, skincare, caregiving, and navigating her husband’s cancer diagnosis with resilience and family support.

Timestamps

00:00 - Introducing Jeanette
00:41 - Meeting Mary Kay Ash
03:43 - Jeanette’s Air Force experience
06:41 - Discipline and perseverance
08:41 - Military family life and frequent moves
12:04 - Getting serious about building a business
13:38 - Starting before everything feels ready
15:43 - Encouraging women to invest in themselves
18:56 - Relocations, confidence, and mental health
23:49 - Mentoring and supporting women
24:35 - Leading a Mary Kay team
28:04 - Aging and self-acceptance
34:45 - Helping women learn makeup skills
39:21 - Prostate cancer awareness and caregiving
44:41 - Connecting with clients virtually
45:56 - How to connect with Jeanette

Jeanette Deatherage brings over 41 years of entrepreneurial leadership experience as a top Mary Kay sales consultant. Her background includes military discipline, resilience, business rebuilding through multiple relocations, and adapting to virtual engagement post-pandemic. She empowers women and leads a team, demonstrating strong leadership and communication skills in a business context.

Connect with Jeanette

Website: marykay.com/jeanetted
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jeanettedeatherage

Connect with Elaine

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
Free Discovery Call: Book a 15-minute call
Website: TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson, LCSW, speaks with Jess Bunin, MD, about self-awareness, trust, and the inner work required for effective healthcare leadership. Jess shares her experience surviving Hodgkin’s disease during residency. The conversation explores perfectionism, shame, self-compassion, boundaries, values, identity, psychological safety, and communication.

• The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism
• How shame and exhaustion can undermine leadership
• Why self-compassion supports healthier professional growth
• Setting boundaries without guilt or excessive explanation
• Aligning daily actions with personal and organizational values
• Using mentors, coaches, peers, and feedback partners for reflection
• Understanding identity and difference as strengths within teams
• Creating psychological safety and sharing power
• Replacing assumptions with curiosity and active listening

00:00 - Introducing Jess and her book
01:35 - Jess’s illness during residency
05:44 - Adaptive versus maladaptive perfectionism
09:06 - Shame, exhaustion, and patient safety
10:09 - Practicing self-compassion
15:06 - Boundaries and values-based decisions
21:20 - Speaking up and finding a feedback partner
26:24 - Identity, belonging, and team strength
29:44 - Tactical, strategic, and existential pauses
34:25 - Choosing between therapy, coaching, mentorship, and peer support
36:48 - Psychological safety in teams
38:16 - Civil discourse and ethical influence
49:51 - Why inner work comes before effective leadership
50:40 - Rebuilding trust through shared power

COL(ret) Jessica Bunin, MD, MHPE is Co-Founder and Chief Architect of All Levels Leadership, Certified Executive Coach, and author of Self-Awareness and Trust: Leading Healthcare Teams from the Inside Out. She is passionate about developing future leaders through faculty development, coaching, and mentorship.

A graduate of West Point and Tulane University School of Medicine, Jess completed her residency at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and served as a Psychiatrist at West Point. Jess has since held leadership roles including Program Director and Associate Dean. She retired in 2023 after 23 years in the Military, deploying to Iraq as a Psychiatrist and Afghanistan as an Intensivist.

Connect with Jess!

Website: www.jessbuninmd.com

Podcasts: https://jessbuninmd.com/media#podcasts

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-bunin/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.bunin/

Email: [email protected]

Book: www.jessbuninmd.com/book

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson, LCSW talks with Diane Darling about the real work behind confident speaking and effective networking. We discuss how women can stop over-projecting rejection, make conversations feel relational instead of transactional, and use small, repeatable actions to build resilience and confidence.

0:00 Welcome & episode overview
1:09 Meet Diane Darling
1:39 Managing public-speaking nerves
5:59 Reframing anxiety as healthy energy
10:28 Imposter syndrome & speaking up
17:45 Resilience and rebuilding confidence
23:32 Networking strategies
30:44 Letting go of assumptions
36:28 Learning through failure
42:13 Confident, caring communication
47:17 Kindness, accountability & self-compassion
50:26 Connect with Diane
51:34 Closing takeaways

Diane Darling is a speaker, author, coach and pioneer in social networking. She was commissioned by McGraw-Hill to write the definitive book on networking called The Networking Survival Guide. It went into a 2nd printing just 90 days after the book hit the shelves. 

Diane has taught at Harvard Business School, European Cardiology Society, 20th Century Fox, Cisco Systems, Bank of America, University of Texas Law School, InfoSys, American Bar Association, Alumni of London School of Economics to name a few clients. 

She has appeared on NBC Nightly News, in The Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe. 

Connect with Diane!
http://www.DianeDarling.com
http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DianeDarling

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15minWebsite: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson talks with masters-level psychologist Anita Cavrag about how “good girl” conditioning shapes perfectionism, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and the pressure to earn love through performance.

(00:47) Anita’s early life in Croatia and the roots of the “good girl” pattern

(07:00) Noticing the inner perfectionist in real time instead of obeying it

(08:29) How fear of failure shapes a woman’s sense of self

(13:48) Good girl conditioning, patriarchy, and why many women share the same pattern

(15:16) Why women fear asking for what they want

(17:54) The doormat versus dragon illusion

(18:48) What submissive, aggressive, and passive aggressive look like in real life

(21:36) Passive aggressive communication and why it leaves both people unmet

(23:27) Why “nobody listens unless I yell” often starts with unclear requests

(26:26) Assertiveness is not control, manipulation, or trying to force compliance

(29:41) Why assertiveness cannot be learned in isolation from real conversations

(31:21) Fear of rejection, catastrophizing, and the story people attach to no

(35:29) People pleasing as a subtle form of control and the need to be liked

(36:33) Needing others to understand your no, and why you do not owe explanations

(38:31) Why some people over-manage reactions to protect themselves from consequences

(39:34) The cost of boundary-setting, including losing some relationships

(43:24) Values become real when you are willing to pay a price for them

(46:17) The need to be needed in founders, providers, and caregivers

(49:21) How over-functioning creates dependence and resentment at home and at work

(50:40) Why resentment grows when requests are not stated clearly

(53:30) Practical advice: identify the complaint, uncover the need, and make a specific request

(55:58) Asking sooner prevents resentment from building

(56:52) Most people like doing things for others when they understand what it means

Anita Čavrag is a masters-level psychologist and coach best known for helping brilliant, accomplished women in business manage difficult people — prospects, clients and team members who don't stick to agreements or who cross their boundaries - without damaging relationships or reputation. She's helped 100+ experts and founders step into real authority. Her credentials include a Masters in Psychology and BA in Philosophy, NLP Master Practitioner, and ICF ACC accreditation.

Free guide: The Art of Getting What You Want from People: https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want

Free 90-minute audit session: tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session

Website: fireflycareer.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

In this episode, Wendy Sterling shares her journey from corporate success and life disconnection to embracing energetic intelligence as a way to deepen self-trust and authenticity. Discover how tuning into your body's signals and stepping into your true energetic authority can accelerate personal growth and create meaningful connections.

00:00 - Welcome and episode overview
00:12 - Wendy’s story of success and early conditioning
01:00 - The narrative of seeking external approval and its costs
02:20 - The wake-up call: divorce and self-reconnection
03:16 - How life coaching revealed new possibilities for self-trust
04:46 - From external validation to internal calibration
05:59 - Recognizing illusions created by societal narratives
06:53 - Safe versus authentic: the costs of living in fear
08:08 - The influence of control and language on self-perception
09:44 - Moving beyond reaction to authentic energetic leadership
11:05 - Making decisions from embodied intuition versus certainty
12:51 - Listening to your body's signals as valuable data
14:47 - The impact of hustle mentality on trusting yourself
15:54 - Flipping the script: trusting the nudge before evidence appears
17:28 - Differentiating emotional intelligence from energetic intelligence
20:04 - Calibration versus calculation in leadership
21:04 - Walking into spaces with confidence from your energetic authority
22:25 - Attracting aligned opportunities by leading from your true self
24:05 - Recognizing signals and messages from life as guidance
29:59 - The power of acting on inner knowing for rapid results
31:14 - The false ease of avoidance versus the real ease of trust
34:56 - Leading with energy: making choices aligned with your true self
36:40 - Using energetic cues to navigate high-stakes decisions
38:24 - Practical first steps to reconnect with your energetic intelligence
43:05 - Final thoughts: showing up authentically and trusting from within
45:44 - Connecting with Wendy for support and coaching opportunities

Wendy Paige Sterling is an Intuitive Oracle and the founder of The New EI™—Energetic Intelligence, a modern leadership framework (aka your intuition). A former corporate exec with over 20yrs of experience leading teams and building multi-million-dollar regions, she now works with high-achieving women, founders and executives to deepen self-trust, reconnect with their inner knowing, their intuition, and use it alongside strategy to make clear decisions, lead with conviction and stop outsourcing their authority to fear, performance and external validation.
https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/ https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/

Book a complimentary intuitive clarity call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call

Connect with Elaine!LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com