The Self-Authority Podcast

Elaine Belson, LCSW, talks with Diane DiResta about self-authority, public speaking, and communication as a leadership skill in presentations, meetings, one-to-one conversations, and online. Drawing on her experience as a speaking coach and author of Knockout Presentations, Diane shares practical ways to reduce fear, build confidence through practice, and speak with greater presence.

• Why fear of humiliation can hold speakers back—and why it helps to have a plan for recovering from mistakes.
• How repetition, preparation, and feedback build confidence.
• Why a clear structure helps speakers avoid rambling and communicate with authority.
• How public speaking skills apply in everyday conversations, meetings, podcasts, and video.
• The importance of mindset, audience awareness, and aligning vocal, visual, and verbal communication.
• Speaking up in male-dominated environments, responding when an idea is overlooked, and adapting to an audience without losing authenticity.

00:22 - Diane’s freshman-year public speaking story
02:16 - Fear of humiliation and recovery strategies
03:13 - Turning nervous energy into confidence
04:09 - Building confidence through repetition and practice
05:18 - Preparation and delivery
06:04 - Public speaking as everyday communication
07:59 - How structure prevents rambling
10:07 - The mindset: “I have a right to be here”
12:11 - Imposter syndrome and overthinking others’ reactions
14:49 - Adapting to an audience while staying authentic
16:21 - Speaking in male-dominated fields
17:38 - Clear language instead of hedging or apologizing
20:54 - Emotions at work
23:08 - Shifting focus from self to service
24:03 - Situational speaking
28:43 - Timing, bias, and whether ideas land
30:51 - Reading audience body language
33:56 - Embracing mistakes
36:24 - Humor and grace under pressure
39:19 - Being yourself rather than a copy
40:06 - Matching your message to your audience
42:11 - Mindset and skill set
47:39 - Communication as a leadership skill

Diane DiResta, Certified Speaking Professional, is Founder and CEO of DiResta Communications, Inc., a New York City consultancy serving business leaders who deliver high-stakes presentations one-to-one, on stage, or virtually. She is the author of Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz and has spoken on four continents.

Diane has been featured on CNN and quoted in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. ZoneofGenius.com named her to its list of Top 20 Speaker Coaches and Trainers. Thanks for the invite to come ealry, Her LinkedIn Learning course, Speaking Confidently and Effectively, ranked among the Top 20 Most Popular Courses for two consecutive years.

• Press: https://www.diresta.com/press
• LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/dianediresta
• Website: http://www.diresta.com
• YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/dianediresta.com

• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
• Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min
• Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Join Elaine for a LIVE event to learn how to “Speak Up with Courage & Authority” on October 20, 2026: https://liz-lopez.mykajabi.com/speak-up

Claiming Power Without Losing Yourself with Olga Valadon

Elaine Belson, LCSW-C, talks with Olga Valadon about career transitions, self-advocacy, emotional intelligence, and how women can claim visibility without losing their values.Olga shares her move from financial services to professional services and the culture shift that made self-promotion feel uncomfortable.

She reflects on how a Stanford program helped her rethink power—not as something inherently negative, but as a tool leaders can use to support teams and help others advance. The conversation also explores people pleasing, perfectionism, the qualification trap, and small habits—like repeatedly apologizing—that can undermine authority.

Olga and Elaine discuss emotional fluency: naming and understanding emotions so leaders can respond thoughtfully, learn from feedback, and move forward after mistakes.

About Olga Valadon

Olga Valadon is a strategic advisor, executive education facilitator, and speaker with 30 years of experience in global financial and professional services. She has led teams and advised senior executives, including Boards of Directors. She is the founder of Change Aligned, a leadership advisory and development company that works with executive teams and senior leaders to improve strategy execution by harnessing emotions—the hidden driver of costs, speed, risk, and growth.

Website: https://www.olgavaladon.com/
Change Aligned: https://changealigned.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/

Timestamps

(00:31) Olga’s career transition
(02:08) Self-promotion and workplace culture
(05:14) Rethinking power and visibility
(09:21) Why self-advocacy can be difficult
(16:06) Using power for good
(21:22) Language habits and authority
(24:09) Perfectionism and the qualification trap
(31:21) Emotions as data
(37:32) Mistakes, learning, and self-judgment
(47:46) What emotional fluency means
(50:22) Feedback, posture, and language habits
(53:15) Testing assumptions and staying open to learning

Connect with Olga!

Website: https://www.olgavaladon.com/
Change Aligned: https://changealigned.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min
Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Jeanette Deatherage: Confidence, Leadership, and Building a Business

Jeanette Deatherage shares how her experience in Mary Kay, military service, and frequent relocations shaped her resilience and leadership. She discusses empowering women, rebuilding through change, adapting to virtual connection, and helping others grow in confidence and business.

In this episode

• Jeanette reflects on the importance of making people feel valued and how that principle informs her work with clients.
• She shares how military service and life as a military spouse taught her discipline, adaptability, and persistence.
• After years of having a Mary Kay business without actively building it, a mentor encouraged her to set goals and take action.
• Jeanette discusses rebuilding her business through multiple moves and adapting to virtual engagement after the pandemic.
• She talks about supporting and mentoring women, leading a team, and helping others build confidence.
• The conversation touches on aging, skincare, caregiving, and navigating her husband’s cancer diagnosis with resilience and family support.

Timestamps

00:00 - Introducing Jeanette
00:41 - Meeting Mary Kay Ash
03:43 - Jeanette’s Air Force experience
06:41 - Discipline and perseverance
08:41 - Military family life and frequent moves
12:04 - Getting serious about building a business
13:38 - Starting before everything feels ready
15:43 - Encouraging women to invest in themselves
18:56 - Relocations, confidence, and mental health
23:49 - Mentoring and supporting women
24:35 - Leading a Mary Kay team
28:04 - Aging and self-acceptance
34:45 - Helping women learn makeup skills
39:21 - Prostate cancer awareness and caregiving
44:41 - Connecting with clients virtually
45:56 - How to connect with Jeanette

Jeanette Deatherage brings over 41 years of entrepreneurial leadership experience as a top Mary Kay sales consultant. Her background includes military discipline, resilience, business rebuilding through multiple relocations, and adapting to virtual engagement post-pandemic. She empowers women and leads a team, demonstrating strong leadership and communication skills in a business context.

Connect with Jeanette

Website: marykay.com/jeanetted
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jeanettedeatherage

Connect with Elaine

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
Free Discovery Call: Book a 15-minute call
Website: TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson, LCSW, speaks with Jess Bunin, MD, about self-awareness, trust, and the inner work required for effective healthcare leadership. Jess shares her experience surviving Hodgkin’s disease during residency. The conversation explores perfectionism, shame, self-compassion, boundaries, values, identity, psychological safety, and communication.

• The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism
• How shame and exhaustion can undermine leadership
• Why self-compassion supports healthier professional growth
• Setting boundaries without guilt or excessive explanation
• Aligning daily actions with personal and organizational values
• Using mentors, coaches, peers, and feedback partners for reflection
• Understanding identity and difference as strengths within teams
• Creating psychological safety and sharing power
• Replacing assumptions with curiosity and active listening

00:00 - Introducing Jess and her book
01:35 - Jess’s illness during residency
05:44 - Adaptive versus maladaptive perfectionism
09:06 - Shame, exhaustion, and patient safety
10:09 - Practicing self-compassion
15:06 - Boundaries and values-based decisions
21:20 - Speaking up and finding a feedback partner
26:24 - Identity, belonging, and team strength
29:44 - Tactical, strategic, and existential pauses
34:25 - Choosing between therapy, coaching, mentorship, and peer support
36:48 - Psychological safety in teams
38:16 - Civil discourse and ethical influence
49:51 - Why inner work comes before effective leadership
50:40 - Rebuilding trust through shared power

COL(ret) Jessica Bunin, MD, MHPE is Co-Founder and Chief Architect of All Levels Leadership, Certified Executive Coach, and author of Self-Awareness and Trust: Leading Healthcare Teams from the Inside Out. She is passionate about developing future leaders through faculty development, coaching, and mentorship.

A graduate of West Point and Tulane University School of Medicine, Jess completed her residency at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and served as a Psychiatrist at West Point. Jess has since held leadership roles including Program Director and Associate Dean. She retired in 2023 after 23 years in the Military, deploying to Iraq as a Psychiatrist and Afghanistan as an Intensivist.

Connect with Jess!

Website: www.jessbuninmd.com

Podcasts: https://jessbuninmd.com/media#podcasts

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-bunin/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.bunin/

Email: [email protected]

Book: www.jessbuninmd.com/book

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson, LCSW talks with Diane Darling about the real work behind confident speaking and effective networking. We discuss how women can stop over-projecting rejection, make conversations feel relational instead of transactional, and use small, repeatable actions to build resilience and confidence.

0:00 Welcome & episode overview
1:09 Meet Diane Darling
1:39 Managing public-speaking nerves
5:59 Reframing anxiety as healthy energy
10:28 Imposter syndrome & speaking up
17:45 Resilience and rebuilding confidence
23:32 Networking strategies
30:44 Letting go of assumptions
36:28 Learning through failure
42:13 Confident, caring communication
47:17 Kindness, accountability & self-compassion
50:26 Connect with Diane
51:34 Closing takeaways

Diane Darling is a speaker, author, coach and pioneer in social networking. She was commissioned by McGraw-Hill to write the definitive book on networking called The Networking Survival Guide. It went into a 2nd printing just 90 days after the book hit the shelves. 

Diane has taught at Harvard Business School, European Cardiology Society, 20th Century Fox, Cisco Systems, Bank of America, University of Texas Law School, InfoSys, American Bar Association, Alumni of London School of Economics to name a few clients. 

She has appeared on NBC Nightly News, in The Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe. 

Connect with Diane!
http://www.DianeDarling.com
http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DianeDarling

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15minWebsite: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson talks with masters-level psychologist Anita Cavrag about how “good girl” conditioning shapes perfectionism, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and the pressure to earn love through performance.

(00:47) Anita’s early life in Croatia and the roots of the “good girl” pattern

(07:00) Noticing the inner perfectionist in real time instead of obeying it

(08:29) How fear of failure shapes a woman’s sense of self

(13:48) Good girl conditioning, patriarchy, and why many women share the same pattern

(15:16) Why women fear asking for what they want

(17:54) The doormat versus dragon illusion

(18:48) What submissive, aggressive, and passive aggressive look like in real life

(21:36) Passive aggressive communication and why it leaves both people unmet

(23:27) Why “nobody listens unless I yell” often starts with unclear requests

(26:26) Assertiveness is not control, manipulation, or trying to force compliance

(29:41) Why assertiveness cannot be learned in isolation from real conversations

(31:21) Fear of rejection, catastrophizing, and the story people attach to no

(35:29) People pleasing as a subtle form of control and the need to be liked

(36:33) Needing others to understand your no, and why you do not owe explanations

(38:31) Why some people over-manage reactions to protect themselves from consequences

(39:34) The cost of boundary-setting, including losing some relationships

(43:24) Values become real when you are willing to pay a price for them

(46:17) The need to be needed in founders, providers, and caregivers

(49:21) How over-functioning creates dependence and resentment at home and at work

(50:40) Why resentment grows when requests are not stated clearly

(53:30) Practical advice: identify the complaint, uncover the need, and make a specific request

(55:58) Asking sooner prevents resentment from building

(56:52) Most people like doing things for others when they understand what it means

Anita Čavrag is a masters-level psychologist and coach best known for helping brilliant, accomplished women in business manage difficult people — prospects, clients and team members who don't stick to agreements or who cross their boundaries - without damaging relationships or reputation. She's helped 100+ experts and founders step into real authority. Her credentials include a Masters in Psychology and BA in Philosophy, NLP Master Practitioner, and ICF ACC accreditation.

Free guide: The Art of Getting What You Want from People: https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want

Free 90-minute audit session: tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session

Website: fireflycareer.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

In this episode, Wendy Sterling shares her journey from corporate success and life disconnection to embracing energetic intelligence as a way to deepen self-trust and authenticity. Discover how tuning into your body's signals and stepping into your true energetic authority can accelerate personal growth and create meaningful connections.

00:00 - Welcome and episode overview
00:12 - Wendy’s story of success and early conditioning
01:00 - The narrative of seeking external approval and its costs
02:20 - The wake-up call: divorce and self-reconnection
03:16 - How life coaching revealed new possibilities for self-trust
04:46 - From external validation to internal calibration
05:59 - Recognizing illusions created by societal narratives
06:53 - Safe versus authentic: the costs of living in fear
08:08 - The influence of control and language on self-perception
09:44 - Moving beyond reaction to authentic energetic leadership
11:05 - Making decisions from embodied intuition versus certainty
12:51 - Listening to your body's signals as valuable data
14:47 - The impact of hustle mentality on trusting yourself
15:54 - Flipping the script: trusting the nudge before evidence appears
17:28 - Differentiating emotional intelligence from energetic intelligence
20:04 - Calibration versus calculation in leadership
21:04 - Walking into spaces with confidence from your energetic authority
22:25 - Attracting aligned opportunities by leading from your true self
24:05 - Recognizing signals and messages from life as guidance
29:59 - The power of acting on inner knowing for rapid results
31:14 - The false ease of avoidance versus the real ease of trust
34:56 - Leading with energy: making choices aligned with your true self
36:40 - Using energetic cues to navigate high-stakes decisions
38:24 - Practical first steps to reconnect with your energetic intelligence
43:05 - Final thoughts: showing up authentically and trusting from within
45:44 - Connecting with Wendy for support and coaching opportunities

Wendy Paige Sterling is an Intuitive Oracle and the founder of The New EI™—Energetic Intelligence, a modern leadership framework (aka your intuition). A former corporate exec with over 20yrs of experience leading teams and building multi-million-dollar regions, she now works with high-achieving women, founders and executives to deepen self-trust, reconnect with their inner knowing, their intuition, and use it alongside strategy to make clear decisions, lead with conviction and stop outsourcing their authority to fear, performance and external validation.
https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/ https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/

Book a complimentary intuitive clarity call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call

Connect with Elaine!LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Most women are their own harshest critic—and it’s often driven by a deep fear of rejection and failure. But what if stopping that inner auto-critic could reshape your confidence and sense of self?

On this episode of the Self-Authority Podcast, Elaine Belson shares her personal journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance, revealing powerful techniques to break free from this vicious cycle.

Elaine recalls her “bed, bath, and beyond” moment—when anxiety about a simple conversation led her to realize her self-criticism was an addiction disguised as protection. She compares this inner dialogue to alcohol addiction and highlights how she learned to simply "not go there." By doing so, she discovered that being kind to herself on purpose strengthens her confidence and diminishes feelings of inadequacy.

She explains how many women overcompensate through overanalyzing, mind-reading, and self-criticism to ward off rejection and failure, often forgetting their worth.

You’ll discover:

• the two essential self-validation techniques designed to help you treat yourself with the same compassion you offer others;
• how fear of rejection and failure is a survival mechanism hardwired into us; and why relying on external “mirrors”—people’s reactions—leads to distorted self-image.
• why emotional intelligence and constructive communication are crucial for building authentic self-trust and resilience.
• practical tools, like asking “What am I genuinely afraid will happen?” when you catch yourself being hard on your inner self, and how to challenge the story behind that fear.

This episode is a must-listen if you’re tired of battling self-

doubt and that inner critic that holds you back from showing up as your true self. By trusting yourself and learning to validate your worth from within, you’ll unlock more confidence, ease, and emotional freedom.

Whether you’re new to self-development or seeking concrete strategies to stop self-sabotage, Elaine’s insights will empower you to rewrite your internal narrative and embrace your inherent worth. Perfect for anyone ready to stop using self-criticism as a shield, and start living with self-trust.

Transform your relationship with yourself and experience the freedom that comes from trusting your natural worth—because the key to confidence is already inside you.

Timestamps:
01:18 - Overthinking and forgetting worries
01:50 - The comparison and mental rehashing cycle
02:31 - Recognizing self-monitoring as an addiction
04:31 - Self-protection through self-criticism
05:17 - Understanding women’s fear of rejection and failure
08:48 - The disconnect between how we treat ourselves and others
09:25 - Normalizing not feeling "good enough"
11:01 - Trusting yourself and overcoming perfectionism
14:18 - Reframing negative self-talk with the same compassion for others
17:27 - Problem-solving instead of self-criticism
19:15 - Being your own best friend
20:29 - The opposite of the golden rule
22:43 - Relying on yourself for a stable sense of identity
29:54 - Avoiding reliance on carnival mirrors: dysfunctional external validation
32:18 - Walking the tightrope: trusting yourself despite fear
42:16 - Trusting yourself and holding others accountable

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

The Hidden Barriers That Stop You From Asking for What You Need

Discover how our own mental habits, like mind reading and second-guessing, hinder our ability to communicate effectively and build confidence. This episode shares practical insights on shifting from internal chatter to direct conversations that empower us.

Key topics:

- The impact of pre-verbal self-doubt on communication

- How mind reading and anticipation create barriers

- The importance of asking questions rather than assuming

- Checking in with others to foster clarity

- The role of self-awareness in building self-authority

- Practical tips to stop overthinking and start authentic conversations

- The connection between self-trust and effective communication

- Introducing Pam Lippet and her approach to self-awareness

00:00 - Introduction to the episode and why women often hesitate to speak up
02:30 - Pam’s childhood and discovery of her voice through theater and debate
05:15 - How early experiences shape communication skills and confidence
08:45 - Navigating gender dynamics in professional settings
12:05 - The importance of preparation and presentation in meetings
15:42 - Overcoming internalized messages about women’s roles and expectations
18:55 - Examples of women supporting or self-sabotaging each other in the workplace
22:07 - How to handle miscommunication or language barriers effectively
26:45 - The power of transparency in workload and project management
30:05 - Strategies for asserting oneself without fear of being wrong
33:25 - The difference between striving for perfection and authentic self-expression
36:30 - Embracing vulnerability and owning mistakes as part of growth
40:15 - Building resilience through the ebbs and flows of confidence
43:20 - Ending conversations with clarity and self-validation
47:00 - The cultural expectation of women apologizing and its impact
50:50 - Practical steps women can take to lead with confidence and authenticity
53:21 - Final encouragement: progress over perfection and continuous growth

Pam Lippitt is CEO/Chief Communicator of Pamela Lippitt Communications, LLC (formerly The Hill Street Group), and is a public speaker, corporate trainer and coach helping people improve their communication skills. She helps each client maximize their voice, creating confident, savvy leaders.

Pam has been speaking in front of audiences since she was a teenager and is comfortable in front of large and small groups alike. She is currently host of the podcast “Communication is an Art”. She is a proud University of Michigan graduate (Go Blue) with a degree in Communications.

Resources & Links:

Connect with Pam Lippet!

Website: https://www.pamelalippitt.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalippitt/

Instagram: @pamelalippitt.communications

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Pantene Sorry Commercial: https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI?si=UotIdN0hFcK_jJi8

Unlocking Self-Authority: Master Your Self-Talk and Create the Life You Deserve

Discover how shifting your inner dialogue and practicing presence can empower you to overcome limiting beliefs, handle stress, and live authentically. Lee, a self-leadership strategist, shares her transformative journey and actionable tools to help women step into their full potential.

00:00 – Introduction to self-authority and Lee’s story

01:14 – The power of self-talk and its impact on mental health

02:08 – Reframing negative thoughts: strategies for empowerment

03:36 – Childhood reflections: the mirror work and self-love

04:34 – Recognizing voices: mom, dad, and your authentic internal voice

05:31 – Turning depression around through presence and intentionality

07:55 – Rediscovering passion and aligning with your true self

09:12 – The Reactor to Creator framework explained

11:49 – How reacting vs. creating influences your life outcomes

13:22 – The importance of self-love and visualizing future success

17:09 – Controlling perceptions vs. accepting the illusion of control

18:36 – Developing the habit of response and intentional action

21:03 – Addressing imposter syndrome: reframing and real-world examples

23:07 – Why women especially struggle with imposter syndrome & overcoming comparisonitis

27:10 – The dangers of social comparison and embracing your unique path

29:49 – The value of presence and staying in the "here and now"

31:23 – How to embody your future successful self using visualization

34:41 – Self-validation: reasons and techniques to become your own cheerleader

36:29 – Mirror work and recognizing your inner genius, gifts, and greatness

38:46 – Overcoming the fear of failure by shifting self-criticism into self-love

43:49 – Embracing mistakes and humanity as key to growth

45:17 – Lee’s free resource: The 5-minute Self-Talk Reset at http://rewriteyourselftalk.com

Ly Smith helps women executives stop reacting and start creating life on their terms. As Self-Leadership Strategist with UpCycle Coaching and founder of the G3 Collective, Ly uses her 30yrs of personal development studies, positive psychology and NLP certification to lead as a member of the Thought Council w/ C-Suite Network. She has helped clients grow revenue by over 30%, break through sales blocks, and transform people pleasing and procrastination into actionable confidence. Her message is simple: Change your self-talk, Change your results!

Free Gift: 5-Minute Reset http://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com

Website: http://www.upcyclecoaching.com

LinkedIn: /g3mastermind

Podcast: https://talks.co/ly

Book Ly: https://bit.ly/zoomwithly

Services: Keynote, Corporate Workshop Facilitator, Breakout Session, G3 Accountability

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: / elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com