Why is it so easy to extend grace to everyone else—and so difficult to offer that same grace to ourselves?

In this episode of The Self-Coaching Club, we're talking about self-compassion as an emotional regulation skill and why shame isn't nearly as effective a motivator as we sometimes think it is.

Self-compassion doesn't mean ignoring mistakes, making excuses, or lowering your standards. It means learning to tell yourself the truth without turning every mistake into an indictment of who you are.

We explore the difference between accountability and shame, why “I should know better by now” can keep us stuck, how faith and grace influence the way we speak to ourselves, and a simple four-step practice for responding differently when you disappoint yourself.

When you notice yourself becoming critical after a mistake, ask:

What happened?

What am I feeling?

What do I need to take responsibility for?

What would compassion look like here?

What would I like to do differently next time?

You don't have to shame yourself into becoming someone better.

Sometimes lasting change begins when you learn to tell yourself the truth—with grace.

You Don't Have to Act on Every Feeling: Learning the Skill of Urge Surfing

Our emotions are valuable, but they aren't meant to make every decision for us.

In this episode, we're exploring the emotional regulation skill known as urge surfing—the practice of noticing uncomfortable impulses without immediately acting on them. You'll learn why emotions naturally rise and fall like waves, how curiosity creates space between a feeling and a reaction, and three simple self-coaching questions that can help you respond with greater wisdom and peace.

The next time you notice a strong emotional urge, pause and ask:

Then wait just a few minutes before deciding what to do.

You may discover that the wave begins to settle all on its own.

Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind fills in the blanks after something happens?

A text goes unanswered.

Before we know it, we've written an entire story—and we often believe it's the only possible explanation.

In this episode, we're exploring how curiosity can interrupt that pattern and become one of the most powerful tools in self-coaching. By learning to pause, ask better questions, and create space between what happens and the story we tell ourselves, we can respond with greater wisdom, emotional peace, and compassion.

✨ This week's encouragement:

Curiosity doesn't mean doubting yourself—it means giving yourself enough grace to explore before you decide. Sometimes the path to emotional peace begins with one simple question instead of one quick conclusion.

For more resources and coaching opportunities, visit www.mercyrice.com

For more inner work and emotional peace resources, please visit www.mercyrice.com

🎉 We made it! Episode 100!

It's hard to put into words what this milestone means. When I recorded the very first episode, I simply hoped these conversations would encourage someone. I never imagined how much they would change me too.

In this special episode, I'm reflecting on the lessons God has gently taught me over the past one hundred conversations about self-coaching, emotional wellness, and becoming the person He created us to be.

This isn't a list of one hundred tips.

It's an honest conversation about growth that often happens quietly—in ordinary moments, ordinary days, and through God's extraordinary grace.

Together we'll explore:

Whether you've been listening since Episode 1 or this is your very first conversation with me, I'm so grateful you're here.

Thank you for allowing me to walk alongside you through seasons of joy, grief, healing, growth, and hope. It has truly been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

As we celebrate one hundred episodes together, my prayer is that you'll pause long enough to recognize just how faithful God has been—and how much you've grown, even in ways you may not have noticed.

Remember...

You don't have to become someone else.

You simply have to keep becoming the person God has been lovingly shaping all along.

Thank you for being part of these first one hundred conversations.

Here's to the next one hundred.

Who have you become over the last season of your life?

Instead of focusing on everything you still want to accomplish, take a few quiet moments to celebrate the ways God has been growing your heart.

If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little encouragement today.

Until next time...

Take good care of your heart. 💗

Mercy

I'm glad you're here! For additional information and resources, please visit www.mercyrice.com and check out the "shop" tab. :)

Emotional boundaries protect your energy, identity, and peace. In this episode, Mercy explains how emotional enmeshment develops, how to recognize it, and how to stop absorbing responsibility for other people’s emotions.

• What emotional boundaries really are

Whose emotions do I carry most often?

What am I afraid will happen if I stop managing their feelings?

Where did I learn to over-function emotionally?

What would it feel like to let someone own their own reaction?

When emotional tension rises, ask:

Click Here to see how best you can connect with me. 

Healthy boundaries are essential for emotional maturity and relational clarity. In this episode, Mercy provides a step-by-step framework for communicating boundaries with confidence and calm. You’ll learn how to state limits clearly, handle pushback, and stop over-explaining yourself.

• What healthy boundaries actually are

Where am I feeling resentment right now?

What boundary has been implied but not spoken?

What fear is keeping me silent?

What would calm clarity sound like?

Choose one small boundary to communicate this week using the framework from this episode. Click Here for access to more inner work resources.