The Self-Leadership Lab

What if asking for help isn't weakness, but one of the strongest things a man can do?

Mike Van Pelt joins The Self-Leadership Lab for a wide-ranging conversation about what it means to be a man in today's world and why we were never meant to navigate life alone.

Mike is the founder of True Man Life Coaching, host of the True Man Podcast, author of True Man True Ways, and founder of American Family Renaissance.

We explore why so many men attach their identity to careers, money, possessions, and status, and what happens when those things become the measure of who we are.

We also talk about the difference between solitude and isolation, the power of men's groups, marriage and presence, learning to listen, mentorship across generations, decision fatigue, and why slowing down may be exactly what many of us need.

At the heart of the conversation is a simple idea:

Self-leadership is personal, but that doesn't mean it should be practiced alone.

Sometimes growth begins by finding the right people, becoming curious enough to listen, and being willing to ask for help.

Connect with Mike: https://www.americanfamilyrenaissance.org/

When I started The Self-Leadership Lab, I thought I was creating a podcast to help other people learn how to lead themselves.

One hundred episodes later, I think the person it has taught the most might be me.

For this special 100th episode, I'm looking back at five lessons that have changed how I understand self-leadership:

You have to be honest with yourself.

Discipline is an act of stewardship.

No one succeeds alone.

Stop trying to become impressive. Become faithful.

Self-leadership isn't about becoming someone new.

I also share some of the struggles behind the microphone, what community has taught me, why I'm rethinking my definition of self-leadership, and why I believe this journey is much more about faithful practice than finally "arriving."

As I say in the episode:

Maybe self-leadership isn't about creating a new identity. Maybe it's the faithful stewardship of what God has already given you.

Thank you to everyone who has been part of the first 100 episodes of The Self-Leadership Lab.

I hope you'll join me for the next 100.

Scripture referenced: Galatians 6:2 and Psalm 139:14.

What does it take to write more than 50 books while building a successful career as a professional voice actor?

This week on The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby welcomes bestselling author and voice actor Aaron Ryan for a fascinating conversation about creativity, entrepreneurship, writing, and the opportunities, and challenges, facing creators in the age of artificial intelligence.

Aaron shares his unconventional writing process, why he creates book covers before writing a single page, how he balances multiple creative careers, and why he believes authentic human creativity can never be replaced by technology.

In this episode:

• Becoming a professional voice actor

• Writing more than 50 books

• The difference between planning and discovery writing

• How to overcome the fear of writing your first book

• Creativity in an AI-driven world

• Why authentic work always stands apart

• The power of focus and intentional living

If you've ever wanted to write a book, build a creative business, or simply become more intentional with your gifts, this conversation is for you.

Visit Aaron’s website at https://www.authoraaronryan.com, join his exclusive Facebook group at authoraaronryangroup.com, or check out his store at authoraaronryanstore.com.

Have you ever felt like you're trying to become someone else just to be enough?

In this solo episode, I share a realization that has reshaped the way I think about personal growth and self-leadership.

Inspired by Michelangelo's famous sculpture of David, we'll explore a different way of thinking about growth and not by adding more to our lives, but by removing everything that isn't truly us.

Together we'll talk about:

Why we may never have been "lost"

Confidence versus competence

The trap of comparison

Becoming faithful instead of merely impressive

Psalm 139:14

Romans 12:2

Questions to help you uncover who God created you to be

Maybe self-leadership isn't about creating a new identity.

Maybe it's about faithfully stewarding the one God has already given you.

How well do you really know yourself?

More importantly…

How do other people experience you?

This week on The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby Shelton welcomes organizational psychologist Dr. Mark Smith for a fascinating conversation about leadership assessments, hiring, organizational culture, and the hidden blind spots that limit our growth.

Drawing on decades of experience assessing leaders, Dr. Smith explains why leadership development isn't about changing your personality—it's about understanding how your behaviors impact the people around you.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why companies should hire for skills instead of credentials

• The difference between evaluating and understanding people

• How role-play assessments reveal authentic leadership

• Why personality tests often miss the bigger picture

• How 360-degree feedback can transform your leadership

• Why organizational culture begins with the people inside it

Whether you're leading a team, hiring your next employee, or simply trying to become a better version of yourself, this conversation offers practical insights into seeing yourself more clearly.

About Mark

Mark Smith is an organizational psychologist, management consultant, and author who has spent more than 20 years helping organizations make better hiring and leadership decisions. He has personally assessed more than 1,000 leaders and candidates across a wide range of industries, with particular expertise in construction, engineering, and other technical fields.

Connect with Mark

Website: https://www.abetterchoicehire.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-smith-ph-d-1776201a8

Email: [email protected]

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Better-Choice-Managers-Skills-First-Hiring-ebook/dp/B0CW1JHGX5

Connect with Bobby

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

What if the hardest moment of your life became the very thing that gave your life greater purpose?

This week on The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with Tyler Moon, a sudden cardiac arrest survivor, speaker, and author, to discuss one remarkable question:

What do you do after life gives you a second chance?

At just 25 years old, Tyler collapsed during the Twin Cities 10-Mile Race and received CPR from complete strangers before being rushed to the hospital. What followed wasn't just a story of survival—it became a story of resilience, faith, community, and choosing purpose over fear.

Together, Bobby and Tyler explore:

• Why adversity doesn't automatically make us stronger

• How resilience is intentionally developed

• The importance of surrounding yourself with community

• Why putting yourself in difficult situations can prepare you for life's biggest challenges

• The role faith played throughout Tyler's recovery

• What leadership looks like in seasons of uncertainty

Tyler Moon, a sudden cardiac arrest survivor, has a powerful mission: to empower others to turn their biggest adversities into their greatest opportunities. His miraculous journey, from "Flatline to Finish Line," has been featured in major media outlets like Runner's World, Today.com, Fox News, and National Public Radio. This passion is central to his work as president of Living Proof Leadership. Tyler lives in the Minneapolis area with his family and works in logistics at General Mills.

• LivingProofLeadership.com

• https://www.linkedin.com/in/tyler-moon-39444aa3

What if the biggest battle you'll ever fight isn't on a battlefield—but within yourself?

This week on The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby Shelton welcomes retired Navy SEAL Commander, bestselling author, and leadership expert Mark Divine for a conversation that goes far beyond resilience and performance.

Mark shares the unlikely path that led him from Wall Street to the Navy SEALs, how meditation reshaped his understanding of leadership, and why many of us spend our lives following a script we never consciously chose.

Together they explore identity, purpose, fear, suffering, visualization, spiritual growth, and what it truly means to govern your inner world before leading others.

You'll learn:

• Why success alone never satisfies

• The power of asking, "Who am I?"

• How visualization can shape your future

• Why discomfort is necessary for growth

• The relationship between self-awareness and leadership

• How to pursue freedom instead of simply achievement

If you've ever felt successful on the outside but unsettled on the inside, this episode is for you.

About Mark

Mark Divine, Ph.D., is a retired Navy SEAL Commander, leadership expert, entrepreneur, and founder of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind. A graduate of Colgate University with an MBA from NYU Stern and a Ph.D. in Global Leadership and Change from Pepperdine University,

Mark has spent decades studying and teaching the principles of mental toughness, resilience, leadership, and human performance. Through his books, training programs, and speaking engagements, he has helped thousands of leaders develop the skills to thrive under pressure and lead with greater clarity, purpose, and courage.

• Website: https://markdivine.com

• Unbeatable Mind: https://unbeatablemind.com

• The Mark Divine Show: https://markdivine.com/podcast

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markdivine

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markdivineofficial

Connect with Bobby

• Newsletter: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/drbobbyshelton

Why do so many leaders spend Sunday evening worrying about Monday morning?

According to leadership consultant Ed Potoczak, the answer usually isn't the workload.

It's the people dynamics underneath it.

In this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, Ed shares why so many organizations struggle with misaligned teams, unclear communication, and cultures where people don't feel seen, valued, or respected. Drawing from decades of experience leading technology implementations and coaching manufacturing executives, he explains why leadership problems are often people problems first.

Together we explore Ed's practical three-part leadership framework built around Clarity, Trust, and Respect, and discuss how understanding communication styles, appreciation, and generational differences can transform both leaders and organizations.

If you've ever dreaded Sunday night, or you've led people who do, this conversation offers practical ideas you can begin using immediately.

In this episode

• Why leaders dread Sunday evenings

• The hidden cost of misalignment

• Why people leave managers and not companies

• The three pillars: Clarity, Trust & Respect

• Understanding communication styles

• Generational differences at work

• Leadership and emotional safety

• How to create healthier workplace cultures

• Why appreciation matters more than many leaders realize

• Using AI without losing people

• Moving from management to leadership

About Ed Potoczak

Ed Potoczak is the founder of Oakstone Group. His approach is built on a foundation of Christian faith and a belief that all employees and colleagues deserve to be known, valued, and respected.

For the past 10 years, Ed has helped executives and project leaders build teams marked by clarity, trust, and respect drawing on 20 years in industry and 25 years leading or supporting over 75 technology implementations. He blends his unique DISC behavioral insights with principles of genuine appreciation and an understanding of generational differences to help leaders reduce stress, lead with genuine care for those they work with, and enjoy greater influence in their organizations.

Connect with Ed

Website: www.OakstoneGroup.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/performanceoptimization/

Connect with Bobby

Newsletter: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/drbobbyshelton

What if stress, burnout, poor health, and disconnection aren't separate problems?

What if they're signals that something deeper has fallen out of alignment?

In this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, I sit down with Dr. Mickra Hamilton, author of The Coherence Effect, to explore what it means to bring our minds, bodies, relationships, values, and actions back into coherence.

Mickra spent 30 years serving in the U.S. Air Force while also building a successful professional life. But beneath the achievement was a relentless drive to keep doing more. When a major health challenge forced her into stillness, she began asking questions she hadn't previously allowed herself the time to consider.

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What really matters?

That experience began a journey that fundamentally changed the way she understood human health and performance.

In our conversation, we explore why high achievers often struggle with stillness, how breath can help regulate the nervous system, why sleep and nature are essential to well-being, and why self-love may be one of the most important starting points for meaningful change.

We also talk about community, alignment, listening to our bodies, and learning to see ourselves not as a collection of individual problems to solve, but as whole human beings.

In this episode:

• Understanding The Coherence Effect

• Stress, burnout, and high achievement

• The importance of stillness

• Breath and nervous-system regulation

• Reconnecting with nature

• Sleep and circadian rhythms

• Self-love and personal transformation

• Mind, body, and spiritual alignment

• Community and connection

• Living according to your values

• Moving from doing to being

• Creating lasting change through simple practices

Perhaps most importantly, Mickra leaves us with a question worth sitting with:

What if everything I think I know isn't quite the way I think it is?

Sometimes transformation begins not with another answer, but with becoming willing to ask a different question.

Connect with Mickra

Website: https://www.drmickrahamilton.com/

Book: The Coherence Effect, https://thecoherenceeffect.com/

Connect with Bobby

Newsletter: bobbyshelton.substack.com

LinkedIn: Dr. Bobby Shelton on LinkedIn

What separates truly exceptional leaders from everyone else?

According to leadership consultant and author Judith Germain, it's not charisma, confidence, or authority. It's the courage to think differently while remaining committed to the good of others.

In this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with Judith, author of The Maverick Paradox, to explore why the best leaders challenge conventional thinking, embrace constructive tension, and know how to lead effectively when everything around them feels uncertain.

Judith introduces her Human Leadership System, a practical framework built around five leadership anchors that help leaders respond rather than react under pressure. Together they discuss authority, ownership, alignment, standards, capacity, and what it really means to become a "socialized maverick"; someone who influences for the benefit of everyone, not just themselves.

Whether you're leading a business, a team, your family, or simply yourself, this conversation will challenge the way you think about leadership.

In This Episode

What is a Maverick Leader?

Socialized vs. Extreme Mavericks

Why leadership starts with intention

The Human Leadership System

The five leadership anchors

Why organizations struggle under pressure

Responding instead of reacting

Ownership vs. accountability

Holding standards without burning people out

How to create healthier organizational cultures

About Judith Germain

Judith Germain is an executive leadership consultant, speaker, and author of The Maverick Paradox. She helps organizations develop courageous leaders who think independently, lead authentically, and thrive in complexity.

Connect with Judith

Website: https://themaverickparadox.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judithgermain/

Connect with Bobby

Newsletter: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbobbyshelton