Are you struggling to find your purpose in life? Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or constantly overthinking your next move?

In this episode of the Self-Leadership Lab, we dive deep into how to find your purpose, gain clarity, and take action toward a meaningful life with author and Army veteran Jacqueline Smith, creator of The Purpose Code.

Too many people chase success, but still feel unfulfilled. The real problem? It’s not lack of talent… it’s lack of clarity.

In this powerful conversation, you’ll learn:

• Why overthinking is killing your purpose

• How to move from confusion to clarity

• The truth about fear (and how to use it as fuel)

• Why your purpose is NOT your job

• A simple framework to start living with intention today

• How small daily actions compound into long-term purpose

If you’ve ever asked yourself:

• “What is my purpose?”

• “Why do I feel stuck in life?”

• “How do I stop overthinking and take action?”

This episode will give you the direction you’ve been searching for.

Key Takeaways from This Episode

• Most people aren’t lacking potential—they’re lacking clarity

• Indecision and overthinking keep you stuck more than failure ever will

• Purpose is built through action, not just thinking

• Fear is often just discomfort disguised as danger

• Your daily habits either move you toward or away from your purpose

About Jacqueline:

Jacqueline Smith is a retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel, executive leadership coach, and founder of Jacqueline Smith PDC.

After 26 years of leading in high-pressure environments, including combat—she discovered a defining truth:

most people are not lacking potential… they are lacking clarity.

Today, she helps high-performing professionals and leaders break through fear, gain clarity, and build purpose-driven lives and businesses that align with who they are.

She is the author of The Purpose Code: Unlock Your Full Potential and Transform Your Life, where she translates decades of leadership and real-world experience into a practical roadmap for transformation.

Her work sits at the intersection of leadership, mindset, and purpose—helping people move from autopilot to intentional, high-impact action.

Choose purpose. Live with clarity. Take action!

Connect with Jacqueline

Website: jacquelinesmithpdc.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jacqueline-smith1

Special Offer:

As a thank you for tuning in, Jacqueline is offering 7 complimentary audiobook copies of The Purpose Code: Unlock Your Full Potential and Transform Your Life.

These are available on a first-come, first-served basis.

Claim your free copy: jacquelinesmithpdc.com

If this helped you, subscribe for more conversations on self-leadership, purpose, and living with intention.

Drop a comment: What’s one action you can take today toward your purpose?

how to find your purpose, finding purpose in life, life purpose, clarity in life, stop overthinking, self-leadership, personal growth, how to stop feeling stuck, meaning in life, purpose driven life, mindset shift, self-improvement, discipline and purpose, overcoming fear, success and fulfillment

What if the biggest source of your frustration… is your expectations?

In this episode of the Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with Eric from the Stoic Coffee Break to explore how expectations, comparison, and lack of self-acceptance quietly control our lives and how Stoicism offers a way out.

Together, they unpack how trying to control others leads to disappointment, why self-acceptance is the foundation of leadership, and how mastering your inner world changes everything; from relationships to personal peace.

If you’ve ever struggled with anger, comparison, or feeling stuck in your own mind… this conversation will challenge you to think differently.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why expectations = disappointment in relationships

• The difference between expectations vs. boundaries

• How Stoicism helps you control your reactions—not the world

• Why comparison is the thief of joy (and how to stop it)

• The power of self-acceptance before self-improvement

• How to break cycles of anger, anxiety, and emotional reactivity

• Why you should focus only on what you can control:

→ your thoughts

→ your choices

→ your actions

Key Takeaways

• You don’t control other people - you control how you respond.

• Expectations create pressure; standards create clarity.

• The more you accept yourself, the less you judge others.

• Real self-leadership starts internally - not externally.

• You can reset at any moment - your past does not define you.

Who This Is For

• High-performing men seeking clarity and control

• Leaders who want to master their internal world

• Anyone struggling with anger, comparison, or expectations

• Those exploring Stoicism and practical self-leadership

Connect with Eric

• Podcast: The Stoic Coffee Break

• Website: https://stoic.coffee/

• Course: Build an Unbreakable Mind https://stoic.coffee/unbreakable/

Bobby’s Resources & Links

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

• Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

• LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

• Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

• Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

• Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

• Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab?

Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

If this episode challenged your thinking:

Like the video

Comment: “Where am I setting expectations, I can’t control?”

Subscribe for more Self-Leadership Lab conversations

#Stoicism #SelfLeadership #MentalToughness #PersonalGrowth #Mindset #EmotionalControl #Discipline #LeadershipDevelopment #SelfMastery #InnerWork

She spent 70 days in the ICU… and almost didn’t come back.

What she experienced during that time changed everything. Her purpose, her faith, and how she leads her life today.

This is one of the most powerful self-leadership stories you’ll hear.

In this episode of the Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with Holly Porter, entrepreneur, author, and survivor, who went from building multiple businesses to fighting for her life.

After losing her health and nearly everything else, Holly was forced into the ultimate test:

Can you lead yourself… when everything is taken away?

Her answer will challenge how you think about:

• Purpose

• Resilience

• Faith

• And what really matters

What You’ll Learn:

• What it feels like to lose control of your body and your life

• How your mind responds when everything is stripped away

• The difference between success and true purpose

• Why “Better’s Better” became her survival mindset

• How to rebuild your life after hitting rock bottom

• Why you don’t need a near-death experience to wake up

Most Powerful Moment:

“When everything was gone… all I had left were my thoughts.”

If This Episode Hit You:

Subscribe for more conversations on self-leadership, purpose, and becoming the person you’re meant to be.

Connect with Holly:

https://linktr.ee/hollyporter

Bobby’s Resources & Links

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab?

Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

Self-leadership, near death experience, purpose in life, personal growth, resilience story, covid survivor story, mindset shift, spiritual awakening, leadership podcast, overcoming adversity, The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby Shelton, PodMatch

What does real success actually look like?

In this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with Jairek Robbins, performance coach, entrepreneur, and founder of Performance Coach University, to explore what it truly means to live a high-performance life.

Too many people structure their entire lives around work. Meetings. Deadlines. Endless productivity.

But what if the most successful people do the opposite?

Jairek shares why his two biggest priorities are being a world-class father and husband, and how that philosophy shapes the way he builds businesses, serves others, and designs his life.

Together, Bobby and Jairek explore:

• Why most people live to work instead of working to live

• How different cultures approach balance, productivity, and fulfillment

• Why success should be built around your values, not your calendar

• The difference between performance and purpose

• How leaders can design a life that matters

If you care about leadership, personal development, and building a meaningful life, this conversation will challenge the way you think about success.

A

bout Jairek

Best-selling author, decorated performance coach, and speaker Jairek Robbins is dedicated to helping professionals like you Achieve Success by Living With Purpose in your life and business!

At only 23 years old, Jairek was awarded the Congressional Award (Gold Medal) from the United States Congress. He has conducted training for various companies and organizations, including…Harvard University, the United States Marines, the United States Air Force Special Forces, UBS, BMW, Keller Williams Realty, Major League Baseball teams, and members of the U.S. Olympic team.

Subscribe for more conversations on leadership, personal growth, and human performance.

#selfleadership

#HighPerformance

#JairekRobbins

#BobbyShelton

#TheSelf-LeaderhipLab

What if the biggest obstacles in your life were preparing you for your purpose?

In this powerful episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with therapist Zulma Williams, whose story will challenge every excuse you’ve ever made.

Zulma moved to the United States from Argentina at 31 without speaking English. She started college at 42 years old. Six weeks after graduating… she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Most people would stop there. She didn’t.

Today, Zulma is a licensed therapist helping people overcome anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why your brain constantly prepares you for the worst

• The mindset shift that helped her beat cancer

• How to challenge negative thoughts

• The truth about anxiety and depression

• Why it's never too late to change your life

• The powerful reason she celebrates birthdays

If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m too old”, “I can’t”, or “It’s too late”, this episode will change the way you think. Because as Zulma says: “If you woke up today, your mission in life is not complete.”

Connect with Zulma Williams

Instagram: @theswearingtherapist

Podcast: Keeping It Real with the Zulma the Swearing Therapist

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@theswearingtherapist

Website: https://dragonflytherapyservices.net/

About the Self-Leadership Lab

The Self-Leadership Lab explores how individuals develop the mindset, habits, and self-awareness necessary to lead themselves and ultimately lead others. Hosted by Bobby Shelton, author of Easy Hard vs. Hard Hard.

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab?

Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

#SelfLeadership

#MentalHealth

#Mindset

#Resilience

#PersonalDevelopment

#PodMatch

Why do so many capable people struggle with consistency, discipline, and confidence?

In this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with Amy Lenius to unpack the deeper drivers behind personal growth: self-belief and self-worth.

Amy explains why discipline isn’t always the problem. Many people who think they lack motivation are actually dealing with low self-belief or low self-worth, which quietly sabotage progress over time.

Together, Bobby and Amy explore how small daily actions compound into confidence, why keeping promises to yourself builds identity, and how the stories we tell ourselves shape our future.

You’ll also learn practical frameworks you can apply immediately to build consistency, strengthen your mindset, and develop lasting personal confidence.

This conversation is packed with practical insights for anyone who wants to stop quitting on themselves and start building real momentum.

As Amy explains in the episode, self-belief grows through action and recognizing progress, while self-worth determines the standards and boundaries you keep in your life.

What You'll Learn

• Why discipline is often NOT the real problem

• The difference between self-belief and self-worth

• How small actions build lasting confidence

• The State → Prove → Self-Assign framework for building belief

• Why many high performers become martyrs instead of leaders

• The role of boundaries and self-respect in personal growth

• How to build consistency even when motivation disappears

Chapters

00:00 The hidden reason people struggle with consistency

03:45 What self-belief actually means

10:30 How action builds confidence

18:00 Victim vs Hero vs Guide mindset

27:20 The formula for building self-belief

37:00 Why keeping promises to yourself matters

48:00 Self-worth and personal boundaries

1:02:00 The consistency framework for lasting change

About Amy Lenius

Amy Lenius is the Director of Group Coaching at Next Level University, Professional Speaker, Event Coordinator, MC, and Next Level Certified Personal Development & Success Coach.

Connect with Amy:

Website: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amylenius

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenextlevelnation

About The Self-Leadership Lab

Self-Leadership Lab is where we explore personal growth, leadership, mindset, discipline, and the internal work required to lead others well.

If you’re committed to becoming stronger in wisdom, stature, and impact…you’re in the right place.

Bobby’s Resources & Links

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab?

Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

#self-belief #self-worth #self-leadership #AmyLenius #BobbyShelton #TheSelf-LeadershipLab #PodMatch

Many high achievers look successful on the outside—but privately struggle with self-doubt, people-pleasing, and a harsh inner voice.

In this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby Shelton sits down with author and life coach Karin Velicka, whose book Dear Me Letters was born from writing to her past self during one of the hardest seasons of her life.

Together they explore the difficult but transformative journey of learning to stop betraying yourself and start building a healthier relationship with who you are.

If you’ve ever felt like you're performing strength for the world while battling yourself internally, this conversation will challenge and encourage you.

This episode dives into self-leadership, self-compassion, and what it really takes to live authentically.

In This Episode

• Why high performers often struggle with self-worth

• The hidden cost of people-pleasing

• How negative self-talk quietly shapes your identity

• Why healing takes years—not quick fixes

• The role of compassion in personal growth

• Healthy anger, boundaries, and emotional awareness

• Why small consistent change beats dramatic transformation

• How learning to like yourself changes everything

Key Takeaway

Real self-leadership isn’t about controlling others.

It begins with learning how to lead yourself—with honesty, compassion, and courage.

When you stop performing for approval and start living authentically, everything changes.

About Karin Velicka

Karin Velicka is a life coach and author of Dear Me Letters, a deeply personal book written to her past self while navigating healing, identity, and self-acceptance. Her work focuses on compassion, authenticity, and helping people reconnect with who they truly are.

Connect with Karin

Book: Dear Me Letters

Substack: Dear Me Community https://velickakarin.substack.com/?r=5wudxy&utm_campaign=subscribe-page-share-screen&utm_medium=web

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/velicka-karin/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/velicka.karin

About The Self-Leadership Lab

Hosted by Bobby Shelton, DSL, The Self-Leadership Lab explores the mindset, discipline, and internal work required to lead yourself well so you can lead others better.

New episodes weekly.

Connect with Bobby

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab?

Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

#SelfLeadership

#PersonalGrowth

#MindsetShift

#BobbyShelton

#TheSelfLeadershipLab

#PodMatch

If you’ve ever felt stuck, hollow, or like you’re doing “all the right things” but still feel disconnected… this episode is for you.

On this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, Bobby sits down with John Miles (Navy veteran, former senior executive, founder of Passion Struck) to unpack a crisis that’s quietly growing: the feeling that you don’t matter.

John shares the hidden roots of the “mattering gap,” why performance-based identity leaves people empty, and how to rebuild your life brick by brick with intentional micro-actions—without needing a dramatic “burn it all down” moment.

What we cover

• Why so many people feel sad, hopeless, or like they don’t belong

• The two childhood patterns that create adult “hollowness” (silence vs. performance)

• Self-Discrepancy Theory: the you you are vs. the you you “should” be vs. the you you could be

• How to recognize you’re stuck (before you hit rock bottom)

• The “pinball life” vs. deliberate living (system 1 vs. system 2 thinking)

• John’s “stool” analogy: the 5 supports that get out of balance (work, physical, mental, emotional, relationships)

• Why change is rarely a light switch and how to rebuild with micro-steps

• Visionary Arsonist: how we burn down the very life we say we want

• Action beats overthinking: micro-actions, momentum, and the psychology of progress

• The Being Turtle Effect: long-term aspiration + daily execution (big vision + 24-hour actions)

• Mattering Audit: if titles/achievements disappeared today… who’s still standing with you?

• Mosquito Audit: identifying the “bloodsuckers” draining your significance and energy

• Why mattering is a biological necessity, especially for kids

• John’s mission to plant intrinsic worth early with his children’s book “You Matter, Luma” and his upcoming work on The Mattering Effect

Take this into your week

If you’re feeling stuck, start here:

1. Name it: “I’m stuck.”

2. Identify your biggest “stuck point” (fear, trauma, habits, relationships, environment).

3. Choose one micro-action today that aligns with the life you could live.

Because you don’t rebuild your life overnight; you rebuild it brick by brick.

About John Miles

John Miles is a Navy veteran, entrepreneur, and founder of Passion Struck, a human performance company and media platform focused on intentional behavior change.

Connect with John

• Passion Struck (book + podcast + platform): https://passionstruck.com/passion-struck-podcast/

• You Matter, Luma (children’s book): https://www.amazon.com/You-Matter-Luma-John-Miles/dp/163698875X

• WebSite: https://johnrmiles.com/

• Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmileshumanperformanceexpert/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles/

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTLdXATpxf8LP3riC0_mkKw

Connect with Bobby

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

• Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

• LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

• Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

• Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

• Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

• Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab?

Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

#selfleadership #Purpose #Mindset #JohnMiles #BobbyShelton #TheSelf-LeadershipLab #PodMatch

Are you living in a prison without bars?

For years, I was.

In this episode of The Self-Leadership Lab, I sit down with Vinnie Tortorich, founder of No Sugar No Grains and host of Fitness Confidential to talk about:

• Why most people regain 100+ pounds

• Why New Year’s resolutions fail by mid-January

• The fear of success nobody talks about

• Why motivation is overrated

• The identity shift required to change your life

Vinnie doesn’t believe you need motivation.

He believes you need ownership.

We talk about the uncomfortable truth behind weight loss… why people sabotage themselves… why society pushes sugar everywhere… and why no one is coming to save you.

If you’ve ever said:

“I’ll start on Monday.”

“I just need more motivation.”

“It’s not that bad.”

This conversation is for you.

Because here’s the reality:

You can’t out-exercise a bad diet.

You can’t lie to your liver.

And you can’t lead others if you won’t lead yourself.

But you CAN unlock the prison.

And it starts today.

Timestamps

00:00 – Are You Living in a Prison Without Bars?

03:45 – Why People Regain 100+ Pounds

08:20 – The White-Knuckle Diet Problem

14:15 – Fear of Success vs Fear of Failure

20:30 – Identity Shift: Fake It Till You Make It

29:40 – Why Society Makes It Hard to Be Healthy

38:10 – Why Most New Year’s Goals Fail

45:50 – The Uncomfortable Truth About Change

54:20 – Why People Try to Sabotage Your Progress

1:02:00 – Self-Leadership & Personal Responsibility

1:10:30 – Vinnie on Legacy & Helping Others

Who This Is For

• Leaders who struggle with personal discipline

• Entrepreneurs who say they “don’t have time”

• Anyone tired of restarting their health journey

• Anyone ready to stop making excuses

Resources Mentioned

• Fitness Confidential by Vinnie Tortorich

• Vinnie’s Podcast: Fitness Confidential

• NSNG (No Sugar No Grains)

• Pure Vitamin Club

Visit: https://vinnietortorich.com

If This Hit Home

Like the video

Subscribe for more self-leadership conversations

Comment: “I’m unlocking the prison.”

Final Thought

You don’t have to live in a prison without bars.

But you do have to unlock it yourself.

No one is coming.

#weightlossjourney

#SelfLeadership

#PersonalResponsibility

#VinnieTortorich

#BobbyShelton

#TheSelf-LeadershipLab

What separates average managers from transformational leaders?

In this episode of Self-Leadership Lab, I sit down with leadership coach and engineering executive Joe Wyrwas to unpack the real drivers behind effective leadership: communication, ownership, culture, and consistent action.

Joe shares his remarkable journey from a quiet high school student discovering leadership, to running a 15-person software development team just two years out of college, to becoming Vice President at a growing engineering firm.

But this conversation goes deeper than titles and promotions.

We explore:

• Why over-communicating up, across, and down builds trust

• The leadership mistake that destroys culture silently

• How to align company goals with individual “why”

• Why leaders must own failures and share wins

• The power of small, consistent action over big motivational moments

• How showing up daily beats chasing big, flashy results

• What skydiving teaches about fear, growth, and leadership

Joe breaks down practical leadership communication tactics you can implement immediately. Whether you're leading a team, building a business, or simply trying to lead yourself better.

If you’re a manager, executive, entrepreneur, or aspiring leader this episode is for you.

Key Leadership Lessons from This Episode

✔ Ownership builds trust

✔ Culture is built daily — not declared quarterly

✔ Communication is rocket fuel for leadership

✔ Motivation fades — systems create momentum

✔ Showing up consistently beats waiting for inspiration

About Joe Wyrwas

Joe is a leadership coach and Vice President at Anthem Engineering. With a background in software development and organizational growth, Joe helps leaders build cultures rooted in ownership, clarity, and purpose.

Connect with Joe:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joe-wyrwas/

Website: www.WyserWithJoe.com

Instagram: @wyserwithjoe

About The Self-Leadership Lab

Self-Leadership Lab is where we explore personal growth, leadership, mindset, discipline, and the internal work required to lead others well.

If you’re committed to becoming stronger in wisdom, stature, and impact…you’re in the right place.

Bobby’s Resources & Links

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbAUhnH37eodhRKlVu7B--g

Instagram: @theselfleadershiplab

LinkedIn: ⁠https://linkedin.com/in/dr-bobby-shelton-dsl-pmp-acc-124502b⁠

Podcast: The Self-Leadership Lab (Available on Apple, YouTube, or Spotify)

Website: ⁠www.battlecatcoaching.com⁠

Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FT68RCB1⁠

Substack: https://bobbyshelton.substack.com/

Want to be a guest on The Self-Leadership Lab?

Send Bobby Shelton a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17641667851977069fa15a161

#communication #hearing #Leadership #LeadershipCommunication #OrganizationalCulture #PodMatch #TheSelf-LeadershipLab #BobbyShelton