The Healing Power of “And”

The Surprising Psychology of “And” - and It’s Link to Acceptance

Episode Summary:In this heartfelt episode, I’m sharing a personal story from inside the therapy room - a story about a single word that kept showing up session after session. It seemed too simple to matter… until it didn’t. Ten sessions in, everything shifted.

The word was and.

At first, I didn’t understand its significance. It felt soft. Unhelpful. Frustrating, even. But over time, this quiet, unassuming word taught me something profound: that acceptance isn’t about agreement—it’s about allowing our full truth to exist without needing to change it.

And isn’t about fixing. It’s about feeling.It’s not about tidy answers. It’s about honest presence.It’s not about either/or. It’s about both/and.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

- Why “and” is a radical act of self-compassion

- How to rewrite the inner dialogue that keeps you stuck in shame

- Why we often cancel out our truth with the word “but”

- How this one word opens the door to emotional acceptance

- A simple journal prompt to help you apply the practice of and in your daily life

If you’ve been trying to “choose a side” in your emotions… if you feel like you should be over something by now… if you’re longing to soften the edges of what hurts - this episode is for you.

Let this be your reminder:You don’t have to pick one feeling.You don’t have to pick one version of your story.You are not just one thing.And all of you belongs.

📝 Resources Mentioned:

Dr. Susan David’s book: Emotional Agility

“Try This: The And Rewrite” journaling prompt (explained in the episode)

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. Message me on Instagram @christinaketchen or reply to this episode on Substack and tell me: what’s one sentence you’re ready to rewrite with the word and?

Want more self love tips and insights?  Get my weekly posts, self love insights and inspiration right to your inbox.

You can also follow my weekly writings on Substack where I go a little bit deep and answer life’s burning questions.

Listen now and let this word change the way you relate to yourself. One breath, one sentence, one truth at a time.

A Powerful Life Hack No One Talks About

In this powerful episode, we explore one of the most transformative mindset shifts you can make: do it first, tell later.

Why? Because your dreams are sacred - especially when they’re just beginning to take shape. Sharing too early can expose them to doubt, fear, and limiting perspectives.

Rooted in the wisdom of Wayne Dyer’s Wishes Fulfilled and the contrast between objective vs. subjective thinking, we unpack how deeply our conditioning has trained us to trust external logic over internal knowing, and how that gets in the way of our truth.

You’ll learn:

Why the bravest thing you can do is believe in your dream before anyone else does

The subtle (and loud) ways objective thinking shows up and blocks your joy

How “should” is one of the most dangerous words we use against ourselves

The surprising power of subjective thinking and how to reclaim it

Four gentle practices to help you come back to your truth when the noise gets loud

Plus: We dive into the subconscious “internal tape” that runs your thoughts—and how to lovingly challenge it so you can return to your essence, your “I AM,” and your power.

Four Grounding Tools You’ll Take Away:

How to question the inner narrative without judgment

The real reason gratitude is a powerful disruptor

Why kindness to others brings clarity to you

Using your five senses to come back to the present moment

This is your invitation to stop waiting for permission and start trusting your inner voice. To move before the world gets a say. To live from your own sacred yes.

Tune in now—and remember:You are not what others think of you.You are what you believe.And you can believe in yourself first.

If this episode moved you, inspired you, or helped you see things more clearly, I’d love to hear from you! And hey, share it with someone who needs a reminder that it’s perfectly okay to hold your dreams a little close before they bloom. And please subscribe, rate, and leave a review - it means the world to me.

Resources & Next Steps:- Share your thoughts on Instagram @uncoveryourbestyou- Get my weekly posts, self love insights and inspiration right to your inbox.- You can also follow my weekly writings on Substack where I go a little bit deep and answer life’s burning questions.

This Still Hurts: The Real Truth About Healing and Resilience

In today’s episode, we’re not talking about the picture-perfect, Instagram-worthy kind of resilience. We’re talking about the lived-in, quiet, unglamorous version.

You'll hear about:

The subtle power of real resilience (and how it doesn’t always look like progress)

Why self-compassion is a crucial part of emotional survival

What resilient people tend to have in common

How to build your own Resilience Blueprint—a practical and personal tool to lean on when life gets bumpy

Why acceptance, curiosity, and perspective are your secret weapons

And together, we’ll explore:

How to recognize judgment and replace it with gentleness

A guided reflection to help you reconnect with your strength

Why crying in the car counts (yes, really)

The difference between being “strong” and being present

This episode is a gentle reminder that you don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to be completely healed. You just need to keep showing up for yourself—with love, patience, and the belief that growth is not linear.

Listen in for a grounded, soul-soothing reminder that resilience isn’t about bouncing back—it’s about how you carry what you’ve been through with tenderness and courage.

Takeaways:

“Resilience isn’t loud. It’s the quiet decision to keep going.”

“Self-compassion isn’t optional—it’s survival.”

Mentioned in this Episode:

Guided reflection on building your personal Resilience Blueprint

How to speak to yourself like someone you love

What to say when someone shares their hard stuff with you

💌 If this episode moved you, inspired you, or helped you see things more clearly, I’d love to hear from you! Share it with someone who needs a reminder that they will make it through the bumps. And please subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it means the world to me.

Resources & Next Steps:- Share your thoughts on Instagram @uncoveryourbestyou- Get my weekly posts, self love insights and inspiration right to your inbox.- You can also follow my weekly writings on Substack where I go a little bit deep and answer life’s burning questions.

In this heartfelt episode, I dive deep into the two powerful forces that shape our lives: fear and love.

We talk about:

What fear sounds like (and how it disguises itself as logic)

How love speaks (and why it's often quieter but wiser)

Real-life decisions that are rooted in fear versus those led by love

How to tell the difference—and how to shift

A simple exercise to help you discern between fear and love

Why breath is your most accessible tool in times of overwhelm

The truth about starting over and the courage it takes

Plus, I share one of my favourite quotes from Marianne Williamson, reminding us that our light—not our darkness—is what most frightens us. And that choosing love not only changes your life—it gives others permission to shine too.

If you’re feeling stuck, uncertain, or at a crossroads—this episode is for you.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.You just have to take one step—toward love.Your future self will thank you.

✨ Takeaways:

Fear contracts. Love expands.

Decisions made from love often come with pain, but they lead to truth.

You can always return to love—again and again.

🔗 Mentioned in this episode:

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

💌 If this episode moved you, inspired you, or helped you see things more clearly, I’d love to hear from you! Share it with someone who needs a reminder that love is always an option.And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it means the world.

Resources & Next Steps:Join the conversation! Where have you mistaken an expectation for an unspoken agreement? Share your thoughts on Instagram @uncoveryourbestyou✨ Get my weekly posts, self love insights and inspiration right to your inbox.✨ You can also follow my weekly writings on Substack where I go a little bit deep and answer life’s burning questions.

Why You Feel Let Down: The Hidden Trap of Silent Expectations

Why the assumptions you make about others can lead to disappointment—and how to break the cycle.

Have you ever felt disappointed when someone didn’t show up for you the way you expected? Maybe you’ve given and given, only to feel let down when the same energy isn’t returned. In this episode of The Self-Love Shift, Christina unpacks the silent contracts we create in relationships—the expectations we hold without ever communicating them.

She shares a personal story of realizing that love isn’t about keeping score; it’s about clear, compassionate communication. If you’ve ever found yourself frustrated or feeling unseen, this conversation will help you shift from resentment to empowerment.

Expectations can keep us stuck, while boundaries set us free. This episode explores:✔️ How unspoken expectations lead to disappointment✔️ The difference between expectations and boundaries✔️ Why boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges to better relationships✔️ Real-life examples of setting healthy boundaries in friendships, work, and love✔️ The game-changing question: Am I doing this from love, or to get love?

You deserve connection built on truth, not guesswork. Tune in and discover how to honor your needs, communicate with clarity, and embrace self-love in every relationship.

🎧 Listen now and take a step toward relationships that thrive—starting with the one you have with yourself.

Resources & Next Steps:✨ Join the conversation! Where have you mistaken an expectation for an unspoken agreement? Share your thoughts on Instagram @uncoveryourbestyou✨ Subscribe for more self-love insights right to your inbox!✨ Follow Christina on Substack where she goes deep and answers your burning questions.

Until next time, take care and be kind to you. 💛

Stop Saying 'Should': The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

The Hidden Ways 'Should' is Sabotaging Your Self-Worth (And How to Stop)

Have you ever felt like you should be different? The word should carries weight—it keeps us stuck in self-doubt, comparison, and external expectations. But what if we could replace it with truth, self-love, and possibility?

In this episode, we’re diving deep into the power of removing should from our vocabulary. We'll explore:

✨ How should reinforces unworthiness and external validation✨ The difference between objective and subjective thinking✨ A simple exercise to track and shift your use of should✨ The power of "I am" statements to rewire your self-talk

Words shape our reality. Let’s choose ones that lift us up instead of holding us back.

💛 Ready for deeper transformation? Connect with me for 1:1 coaching or check out my up and coming workshops—let’s do this work together! You can also follow me on Instagram for daily self-love reminders or sign up for my monthly self love send out to get some inspiration right to your inbox.

🎧 Enjoyed this episode? Don’t forget to rate, review, and follow—your support helps spread the message of self-love and kindness!

#SelfLove #MindsetShift #PersonalGrowth #StopShoulding

Welcome to The Self-Love Shift!

In this episode, we’re diving into one of my favorite topics: perspective and the ego. Our perspective is shaped by past experiences, old patterns, and those sneaky automatic negative thoughts. And one of the biggest influences? Our ego.

Why Talk About Ego?

Ego shapes how we see ourselves and the world. It fuels self-judgment, comparison, and fear, keeping us stuck in limiting patterns. When we mistake the ego’s voice for truth, we may believe our worth is tied to external validation—our achievements, appearance, or social status. But self-love isn’t about external factors. It’s about the deep, unshakable knowing that we are already enough.

What is Ego Really?

Many people associate ego with arrogance, but it’s so much more. Ego is the part of us that identifies with our self-image, our accomplishments, and even our weaknesses. It creates separation: this is me, and that is everyone else. This division moves us away from self-love, which is rooted in connection and compassion.

What the Experts Say

Eckhart Tolle describes ego as the false self, constantly feeding us thoughts of I, me, mine, which creates separation and fear.

Wayne Dyer defines ego through six key beliefs:

I am what I have.

I am what I do.

I am what others think of me.

I am separate from everyone else.

I am separate from what’s missing in my life.

I am separate from God.

Brené Brown calls ego “the hustler” because it convinces us we must constantly prove our worth through hustle, achievement, and validation.

Ego vs. Self-Love

Ego thrives on separation, comparison, and judgment, while self-love thrives on compassion, connection, and acceptance. When we start noticing our ego-driven thoughts and judgments, we can begin to soften them, creating space for more love, patience, and presence in our lives.

Practical Exercises to Soften the Ego

1️⃣ Daily Reflection Exercise:

Keep a notepad by your bed, coffee maker, or toothbrush (attach the habit to something you already do!).

Reflect on moments of frustration or judgment from the day.

Ask yourself:

What part of this frustration might be coming from my ego?

Will this moment still matter a year from now?

Use gentle language—self-compassion is key!

2️⃣ The Perspective Shift Exercise:

When frustration arises, pause and ask:

Is there room to see this differently?

Is this really about me, or could there be something else going on?

Example shifts in perspective:

A slow cashier—maybe they just got bad news.

A barista messing up your order—maybe they’re overwhelmed.

A slow driver—maybe they’re nervous, not intentionally slowing you down.

Can you shift from frustration to compassion?

Final Thoughts

Ego isn’t bad—it’s a teacher. When we start recognizing where ego shows up, we can choose love over fear. We can shift toward our true selves—the ones who are kind, loving, patient, and already enough.

I hope today’s episode resonated with you and gave you a new perspective on ego and self-love. Remember: self-love starts with awareness, and awareness starts with curiosity.

So let’s stay curious. Let’s keep choosing kindness over comparison, love over judgment—especially toward ourselves. Because you, my friend, are enough, right here, right now. 💛

💫 If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and leave a review! Let’s spread the self-love movement together.

Connect with Me:📩 Have questions or insights? DM me on Instagram @uncoveryourbestyou or visit my website for lots more on self love & relationships.

An Ode to Self-Celebration and the Beauty of Birthdays

🎙 Episode Summary:Birthdays—they can bring joy, excitement, or even discomfort. But at their core, birthdays are about more than just getting older. They’re about you. About celebrating your existence, your journey, and the light you bring to the world. In today’s episode, I dedicate this conversation to a dear friend who embodied self-love and kindness—a friend who knew how to honor herself unapologetically.

If you’ve ever felt unseen on your birthday or struggled with the idea of celebrating yourself, this episode is for you. Together, we’re reframing what birthdays mean, shifting them from just another date on the calendar to a powerful declaration of self-worth.

🎧 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✨ Why birthdays can bring up deep emotions and what they reveal about our sense of worth✨ The societal belief that celebrating ourselves is selfish—and why that’s not true✨ How to rewrite your birthday story and reclaim it as an act of self-love✨ A simple but powerful tool to help you embrace your worth on your birthday (and beyond!)✨ Why the idea of “perfect” birthdays might be holding you back—and how to redefine what “perfect” means for you

💡 Takeaways & Reflection Questions:🔹 Your worth is not defined by who remembers your birthday or how others show up for you. It has always been there. The real work is in believing it.🔹 If celebrating yourself feels uncomfortable, start small. Write yourself a birthday card. Acknowledge your wins. Sing “Happy Birthday” to yourself.🔹 Perfect is what you define it to be. Shift the focus from external validation to internal appreciation.🔹 Ask yourself: “How good does it get?” The more we invite joy and self-celebration into our lives, the more we find it.

💛 Let’s Connect!You can find more self-love tips, insights, and inspiration on my website—come nourish your heart!

🔄 Share This Episode:If you know someone who struggles with birthdays or self-celebration, send them this episode. A little reminder of their worth could mean the world.

💭 Here’s to embracing self-celebration, redefining worthiness, and asking the universe—hey, how good does it get?

Self-Love Explained: What It Is, What It Isn’t & Why It Changes Everything

In This Episode:What does self-love really mean? For many, it’s a confusing concept—often mistaken for arrogance, indulgence, or something you have to earn. But real self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations alone (though they’re nice). It’s about the relationship you have with yourself—the way you think, speak, and show up for yourself when life gets tough.

In this episode of The Self-Love Shift, we’re breaking down what self-love actually is, what it isn’t, and how to start cultivating it in a way that feels real. If you’ve ever wondered, How do I actually learn to love myself?, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:

💡 What self-love truly means and why it’s the foundation of happiness💡 How to shift from self-doubt to self-acceptance💡 Why connecting your head and heart is the key to confidence & clarity💡 The biggest myths about self-love (and why they keep you stuck)💡 How to start rewriting the stories that tell you you’re not enough

What’s Keeping You from Self-Love?

If self-love is so important, why does it feel so hard? Because most of us are carrying around stories that aren’t even ours. That voice in your head that whispers:

❌ I’m not good enough❌ I’m too much❌ I don’t deserve happiness❌ I’ll never be successful

These thoughts aren’t truths—they’re just beliefs we’ve absorbed over time. Maybe from childhood, relationships, or experiences that made us feel unworthy. But here’s the beautiful thing… they can be rewritten.

Two Powerful Ways to Start Practicing Self-Love Today:

✅ Step 1: Say Your Thoughts Out Loud – When self-doubt creeps in, speak it out loud. This simple act helps you recognize the inner narrative that’s holding you back. Then, ask yourself: Do I know this to be absolutely true? Most of the time, the answer is no—and that’s where the shift begins.

✅ Step 2: Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love – If a friend was struggling with the same thoughts, what would you say to them? Would you criticize them, or would you offer compassion? Now, say those same words to yourself.Imagine what it would feel like to replace self-judgment with self-kindness.

Self-Love is a Daily Practice

This isn’t about getting it perfect, it’s about getting it real. Every day, you have a choice:

✔️ Challenge the negative thoughts instead of believing them.✔️ Show yourself compassion instead of self-criticism.✔️ Learn from mistakes instead of using them as proof you’re not enough.✔️ Be on your own team—because you deserve it.

Final Thought:

The work isn’t about becoming worthy—it’s about remembering that you always were.

So next time frustration, doubt, or self-judgment creeps in, ask yourself:

✨ What would it feel like to choose kindness over criticism?✨ What if I replaced fear with love?✨ How different would life feel if I truly believed I am enough?

Because you are. 💛

📩 Subscribe to The Self-Love Shift for more episodes & mindset shifts!⭐ Loved this episode? Rate & review—it helps others find the show!💛 Share this with someone who needs a little more self-love or a reminder of the magic they already have.