Let's be real: how many hours have you spent replaying that moment, that choice, that mistake, wondering if you'd just ruined everything? Cringing in guilt and shame, and feeling like a failure?

This episode is your permission slip to let yourself off the hook.

In this raw and powerful conversation with bestselling author Jennifer Pastiloff, we dive inthe the shame stories women carry around motherhood, art, body image, relationships, and success. Jen shares her journey through grief, loss, and the beautiful mess of rebuilding. She reminds us that not only did we not fuck it up, but maybe...we can't.

Jen and I talk about her new book, Proof of Life: Let go, let love, and stop looking for permission to live your life.

• We share the hilarious/mortifying/magical way we connected with each other and our mutual journey from shame into love.
• Shame Loss: how to let go of the "I'm bad" belief.
• The life hack Jen uses to stop saying 'sorry' all the time.
• The magic of staying open, even when you want to hide.

Jen brings humor, vulnerability, deep compassion and bold truth in this episode, and I know you'll come away with a renewed belief in your life, and a permission slip to live it.

Get your copy of Proof of Life

Preorder The Selfish Year

We've been told our whole lives not to want too much, need too much, or ask for more.

So we don't. We shrink, we wait, and we hope someone notices and gives it to us anyway.

And then we wonder why we're so tired, resentful, and invisible.

This episode is your wake-up call.

I'm pulling back the curtain on the hardest thing I've done lately: Asking for what I want, for what I deserve. I share the origin story of my book, The Selfish Year - the miserable woman I used to be, and the moment I stopped waiting for someone to save me.

You'll hear:

• Why asking feels so wrong, and why that's a lie.
• How we betray ourselves when we don't ask.
• What selfish actually means for women who are ready to save themselves.
• Why The Selfish Year isn't just a book...it's a rebellion.

If you've ever wanted more, but felt guilty for even saying it, this is for you.

And yes, I'm asking too: Please pre-order The Selfish Year!

Pre-order here and get The Selfish Woman Starter Kit as a big thank you from moi.

If you call yourslef a 'control freak' like it's a badge of honour, this one's for you.

In this episode, I break down the truth about control: why it's not strength, what it's actually costing you in your body, your mind, and your relationships, and how to finally start letting go without everything falling apart.

We talk about:

• The fear that hides under control
• Why you're gripping things you don't even need to carry
• The toll control takes on your nervous system, sleep, and confidence
• The difference between what's actually yours to hold and what isn't
• Why being a relaxed woman is your most powerful move.

And I leave you with one simple challenge you can take today to start practicing trust - in yourself and the people around you.

If you're tired of being 'the strong one' and ready to feel lighter, softer, and more magnetic, listen to this.

And don't forget to share it with the strongest woman you know.

Pre-order The Selfish Year and join Selfish Summer Camp

Email me: [email protected]

Most women think burnout just means being tired. But what if it's acutally a signal - a brutal nudge - to stop abandoning yourself?

In this episode, I sit down with Leadership Coach and master hypnotherapist, Amy Green Smith, to talk about the real reasons women burn out and how to wake up before it wrecks you.

We get into:

• The sneaky symptoms of engagement burnout and systemic burnout
• Why what you chronically complain about is your biggest clue
• How to communicate your needs without guilt or drama
• Why women struggle to receive help (and how to change it)
• The link between your body and your unmet emotional needs

This fun, powerful conversation is your permission slip to stop playing nice and start listening to yourself.

Grab Amy's free resource, Boundaries over Burnout

Join Selfish Summer Camp

This week, I had a moment. Okay.... a full-on meltdown. But underneath it, I realized something powerful: I've been trying to launch my book, The Selfish Year, like a good girl. Strategic. Palatable. The 'right' way.

So I threw it all in the fire. And from the ashes? Selfish Summer Camp was born. Because I'm going to do this my way and just like Sinatra, baby, we're all learning this together.

In this episode I'm sharing how a late-night breakdown turned into the most fun, honest, unapologetic pre-order campaign I've ever created.

This isn't just a book launch. It's a fequency, a summer, a movement.

Pre-order The Selfish Year now and register for camp!

P.S. Want secret stories, whispered truths, and behind the scenes moments I'm not sharing anywhere else? Become a paid Substack subscriber and come inside the velvet tent:

Subscribe to the Blog

In this episode, I'm sharing my story of how I went from a broke stay-at-home mom to six-figure entrepreneur - with no plan.

No degree, no career, no clear path. Just three kids, a toxic marriage and divorce, an empty bank account, and the choice to become the woman I wanted to be.

I'm sharing how I rebuilt my life, claimed my power, and created everything I have today - without a roadmap.

And why waiting for the path to appear is the thing keeping you stuck.

If you're ready to stop waiting and start BECOMING: Listen now.

FIRESTARTER begins July 1. Stop people-pleasing and start living for YOU. You don't need a plan but you DO need guidance. Spend two weeks this summer igniting your future.

CLICK HERE to join Firestarter

What if the biggest challenges in your life weren't meant to break you....but to relaunch you?

In today's episode, I sit down with Hilary DeCesare - coach, speaker, and creator of the 3HQ Method - for a deeply honest conversation about what it really takes to rise again in midlife.

From her own vulnerable story of starting over to the tools she uses to help women reconnect with their power, Hilary brings both heart and fire.

She even takes me through her signature 'Tune-In' process live on the podcast - and yes, it works.

If you've ever felt stuck, lost, or like you're getting in your own way, this episode is your sign. There's a path forward, and it doesn't require perfection - just presence, alignment, and a little courage.

Plus, Hilary is offering listeners an exclusive 50% off code to her Relaunch Into A Rich Life Event, happening this September! Details inside the episode and linked below.

Relaunch to a Rich Life Conference with Hilary DeCesare

Use code 'ValerieJ50' to get 50% off Ruby & Platinum tickets.

Get your free copy of the Tune-In method

Register for Fed Up to On Fire - June 19th

Pre-Order my book, The Selfish Year: The Power of Putting Yourself First

You fed up yet?

Good. That means the fire's here.

In this solo episode, I take you deep into a recent moment where I finally said enough - and buried the version of me who kept mothering everyone but herself.

I walk you through the raw energy behind my new free live event, Fed Up to On Fire, and I soft launch the mantra that's reshaping my movement:

Thank You. Fuck You. I'm Free.

You'll learn how to alchemize frustration into fuel, how to ride the wave of your own rage without drowning in it, and why being fed up isn't a breakdown - it's the beginning of your rise.

If you've been swallowing your truth, people-pleasing your way into exhaustion, and waiting for permission to be selfish, this is your invitation.

Let it burn.

CLICK HERE to join Fed Up to On Fire. June 19th.

This isn't a wellness chat about sobriety.

This is a full-body transmission from inside The Altared State - my 30-day ritual of choosing presence over performance, power over numbing, and pleasure that doesn't need permission.

In this unfiltered episode, I walk you through Days 1 to 6 of the journey. From moss to molasses, from mocktails to jalapeno clarity. I talk about the shame women carry around craving intoxication, and the radical act of becoming the substance we've been reaching for.

If you're tired of outsourcing your aliveness, if you're ready to burn the rules, feel the power, and live at full volume - this one's for you.

It's raw. It's real. It's a little unhinged.

Welcome to The Altared State.

I want to hear what stirred in you.

Email me at [email protected] and tell me what this brought up.

Subscribe to Substack here

Hey Selfies,

This one's for the woman who stayed too long.

The woman who confused disappearing with devotion.

The woman who swallowed her truth and called it maturity.

In today's episode, I'm not holding back. I'm calling out the lie we were sold about love, and what it means to reclaim every wild, holy, selfish part of you.

We're talking:

• Self-abandonment vs real love
• The truth about staying 'loyal' when your soul is dying
• Why compassion isn't an excuse for self-betrayal
• And the moment everything shifts when you say: 'I am mine.'

This episode might hurt a little. And then it will free you.

Hit play. Then share it.

Because we don't gatekeep liberation around here.

Get your copy of The Selfish Year now!

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