If you always come last on the priority list, it’s time to learn why ‘Being Selfish for the Team’ helps everyone. Janet and Clare discuss the vital positives of self care on your life and relationship.

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

01:47  Why making time for ‘me’ is not selfish, it’s very important for your well-being, your relationship with yourself and our relationships with others.

08:00  Where our attitudes towards self-care often come from.

11:55   Are your needs being met?  Damian Hughes   Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

16:35   Being selfish for the team. Why women’s desire and energy for sex often disappears if we are not looking after ourselves properly.

22:34  Ideas for self-care

Want to know more?

If you’re interested to know more about how the lack of self-care can affect sex and relationships check out episode 6 Victims and Villains and episode 5 The Big O..oh no!

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

Series Producer: Amanda Hancox

Is sex over too quickly? If premature ejaculation happens to you or your partner, it doesn’t have to be game over. Clare and Janet explore why men can orgasm too quickly and what can help.

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

02:05  Definitions of rapid ejaculation.

05:16   Some of the medical approaches to treating premature ejaculation and what’s on the market to help.

08:30  Why do I have this problem? Clare and Janet chat about the common reasons this happens.

18:05   What to do about it?

22:56  Clare and Janet share some of the techniques they use to help people with premature ejaculation. 

Want to know more?

If you want to find out about erectile dysfunction listen to episode 4 Losing It.

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP)are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

If sex is another job on the ‘to do’ list, and you find you’re losing sexual attraction for your partner, it’s time to press the Reset button. Clare and Janet chat about why we ‘go off it’ and how we can get it back!

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

5:03    How to prioritise your relationship and not take each other for granted.

06:24  How to stop feelings of being taken for granted and resentment building up

11:23  Attitudes towards sex in long term relationships

20’53  How to manage sexual disappointment

24:32  How to negotiate mismatch desire.

28:06  Don’t rush to break up when lust and sexual attraction leave the room. Staying in a relationship can reap benefits beyond imagination.

33:01  Clare and Janet’s top tips

Want to know more?

If you want to hear more about sexual attraction listen to episode 2 The Arousal Paradox.

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

Clare and Janet explore the relationship issues that lead to arguments and how to do conflict better.

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

00:43  Shouting, crying, slamming doors, walking away, silence - common reactions to arguments but what’s really going on in conflict? What are you really fighting for?

13:30  So what to do about conflict in relationships? How to understand conflict through Karpman's Drama Triangle

23:24  Why having some ‘me’ time is really important for improving relationships.

26:56  Janet’s 10 minute exercise to help you manage relationship issues and arguments better.   

34:45  Clare and Janet’s top tips

Want to know more?

If you want to hear more about why it’s so important for your relationships to have ‘me’ time listen to episode 9 Me-topia.

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

Clare and Janet discuss orgasms - and what can help if it isn’t happening for you or your partner. Also the myths surrounding female orgasm. Do you really know what the clitoris looks like?!

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

01:54  What is an organism? What are common misunderstandings?

06:09  Why orgasms add years to your life! Am I enjoying this? Do I understand how it works?

10:01   Will it happen, won’t it happen? Your orgasm is about you and not about them.

14:02   How communication can be the key to successful orgasms. 

20: 16.  Emily Nagoski: Come As You Are

21:01   Exercises to help women who don’t have orgasms

24:57  The Great Wall of Vulva

26:19   Getting familiar with the female body.  Professor Helen O’Connell  The anatomy of the clitoris

Want to know more?

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

Why erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to be the catastrophe you might think it is. Clare and Janet discuss ways to help with erection problems.

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

03:35  What might be causing erection problems? 

08:34  So what help is at hand?  What’s on the market to help you get an erection. Stress No More

12:16  Ideas on what you can do for yourself. Why Kegels exercises are good to do.

16:52  Can watching too much porn can cause problems with erections when having sex?

19:35  How to deal with stress and anxiety caused by unreliable erections.

24:36   Exercise ideas for you on your own or with a partner to help bring on an orgasm or increase sexual pleasure.

31:24  Clare and Janet’s top tips

Want to know more?

If you’re interested to know more about how the lack of self-care can affect sex and relationships check out episode 6 Victims and Villains and episode 5 The Big O..oh no!

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

What happens when one of you decides to go outside of the relationship for sex? The therapists discuss affairs, why non-monogamy happens and how to deal with a betrayal.

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

03:37  What is an affair? Why do they happen?

09:30  It’s not just cheating husbands, a growing number of women are now having  affairs.

12:02   When you cheated on your partner what did you tell yourself that made it ok and what were the consequences? Can having an affair increase the risk of heart attack?

18:32  Living in richer sexual landscapes today, how to navigate non-monogamous relationships and sexual interests.

24:43  What to do when you find out your partner is having an affair? Can you survive an affair? How do you rebuild trust?

Want to know more?

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

When Porn or Hollywood are your sex educators, it can get confusing when things don’t work that way for us!

Why is it that the things that are supposed to turn us on, sometimes turn us off? How come our desires can vary or be so different from our partner’s?

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

05:12   Where are you on the arousal scale?

09:02   Why does one person have more desire for sex than another? Do you understand how your sexual arousal system works?

13:14   How biological difficulties can affect sexual desire.

17:10   The impact of stress and obesity on attraction and desire.

18:22   What are the things that turn you on and what turns you off? Emily Nagoski: Come As You Are

24:51  The way you feel about your body affects your arousal.

Want to know more?

If you want to hear about what to do if lust and sexual attraction in a relationship start to fade, listen to episode 7 Lust or Bust

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

You can also follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

Sex is everywhere, right? But what makes good sex?!

Clare and Janet kick off the season by discussing the fundamentals about sex… why do we do it and what is it for you?

Dip into some of things Clare and Janet chat about in this episode:

04:11. What is sex for you and what is it’s purpose in your life?

06:44. Different ideas about sex. Bernie Zilbergeld: The New Male Sexuality

10:55. What is good or normal sex?

16:24. How to have good sex across our life.

Want to know more?

Visit our website The Sex and Relationships Podcast  for more information on the issues discussed in this episode. You can also Ask Clare a question or suggest a topic for future episodes.

Follow us on social media: Instagram Facebook

About The Sex and Relationships Podcast:

This podcast is for anyone looking for information or help with their sex lives or relationships.  Your hosts Clare Pendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) are sex and relationship therapists. In each episode they chat about common problems they see in the therapy room and draw on their years of experience to give you some insights, advice and top tips to help guide you through your relationships and sex lives.

“I’m very aware there’s a lot of listeners out there who would never go and see a therapist. Not in a million years! And I think what Janet and I are doing in these chats is making the therapy room available to all of you.”   Join sex and relationship therapists Clare Prendergast (PgDip/COSRT) and Janet Eccles (MSc MA/COSRT/Sup MBACP) as they chat about why you might just want to listen to this podcast.   

They're not about trying to be know-it-all experts. They are about sharing years of experience and knowledge, tips and techniques for the most common issues they see in the therapy room, in the hope that it might help you with your relationship or sex life issues.

Clare and Janet are different people with different backgrounds and interests but what they do have in common is a curiosity about the psychology of sex and relationships. They don’t always agree and sometimes they learn from each other. Clare never laughs at Janet’s jokes, but they are always open and honest and warm. 

If you want to know more head to the website: https://thesexandrelationshipspodcast.com

Perhaps you have a question you want them to explore in their chats? Message them at: [email protected]   We’d love to hear from you.

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