Episode 1619, brought to you by our incredible sponsors:

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Timestamps:

(00:00:00) - Fake News Rundown

(00:05:14) - Dildo Helmet Man Arrested for Storming Church

(00:21:48) - URGENT: Blake Lively does NOT attend the Golden Globes

(00:23:10) - South Korean President on the Lamb from Arrest Warrant

(00:25:35) - The Sh!t Sandwich Cop is BACK

(00:32:35) - Updates on the CyberTruck bomber in Vegas

(00:38:38) - North Korea is Banning Hot Dogs

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