#145.  How can a metaphorical bag of compost help us get through grief? Let's find out.

This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.

In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

And in this episode, I’m looking at how a bag of compost (given to us by Dr Colleen Crary, in her Let’s Chat episode about PTSD), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.

Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

Listen to Colleen’s full episode, Let’s Chat… PTSD, here:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/772c3bcd/lets-chat-ptsd-with-dr-colleen-crary

If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the episode I put out introducing this new series, ‘Introducing… The Grief Toolshed’:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed

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How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

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#144.  How can a metaphorical spade help us get through grief? Let's find out.

This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

Welcome to my brand-new series of episodes - The Grief Toolshed.

In this series, I’m visiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

And in this episode, I’m looking at how the spade (given to us by Sue Brayne, in her Let’s Chat episode about mortality), can help us prepare for, and get through, grief.

If all this is new to you, and you have no idea what’s going on, listen to the intro episode I put out first:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7dad62e8/introducing-the-grief-toolshed

Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

Listen to Sue’s full episode, Let’s Chat… Mortality, here:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4c89d4f7/lets-chat-mortality-with-sue-brayne 

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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

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How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

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#143.  How can we make sure we have the right tools when we face grief? 

This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

After a short break, I’m back with a brand-new series of episodes. It’s called The Grief Toolshed.

In this series, I’ll be revisiting the garden tools shared by our Let’s Chat guests (from my metaphorical toolshed) and turning them into practical, supportive tools we can use when we face grief. One per episode. Together, we’ll unpack them and explore how to actually use them when grief shows up.

Think of it as building your own toolkit - ready for whenever you need it most.

Send a text

Support the show

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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn

What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods

Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

Thank you for listening.

#142. Well, it's finally here. Another new year.
How are you feeling as we head into 2026?

This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.

New Year's aren't easy for many people, so wherever you find yourself emotionally, this short episode is here to offer you a bit of hope and encouragement for the days ahead, and remind you that you're not alone if your year hasn’t started as you hoped. 

Plus, I share about a recent loss we've been going through, and explain why there might be a bit of a delay before the next episode is released.

And here are the links to read, or listen to, the blogs I mention:

Know Hope:
https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/14113284-blog-my-why-know-hope

We've all got triggers, but did you know you have glimmers too?:
https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/12776245-blog-my-why-we-ve-all-got-triggers-but-did-you-know-you-have-glimmers-too 

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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

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How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

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#141. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. It's not an easy time of year, and it’s been a season of both highs and lows for us too over the years. 

This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.

Each year, we share a Christmas episode where we check in with how we’re really feeling about the festive season, childlessness, and everything that comes with it. Some years, we’re coping well. Other years, not so much. So where are we in 2025? 

You'll have to tune in to find out, but a sneak peek would tell you that we chat about; what it's like being back in a cold, wintery, Christmasy UK (after 8 weeks in Australia), how we're both feeling about being childless, what a visit to our local cathedral was like, and, of course, the vital importance of Christmas food.

If you’d like to explore our previous Christmas episodes and blogs (as mentioned in the episode, plus more), you’ll find them all here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmas

Our past Christmas episodes range from 'Chris' Loss of Christmas Spirit' (2021), to feeling hopeful and joyful (2024) and everything in between, plus, there's bucket loads of tips for gently rebuilding hope if the season feels a bit heavy this year.

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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

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How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

Thank you for listening.

#140. How's our big trip 'Down Under' going? This is where you find out. Again.

Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast with a mission to open-up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss. But right now, things are a little different!

Take a listen to the previous episode to get a better idea what this one is going to be all about. 

We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time in Singapore and Australia. In this episode, we update you on our trip up the coast of Western Australia.

This episode includes what's surprised, shocked and delighted us about the Aussie people, what wildlife we've seen (and held! 😉), what it's like to visit some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and... flies!!

Plus, you know we love to share the deep stuff too, so we also chat about how our expectations of this holiday have had to change, how being childless has affected us while away, and thoughts about the podcast in general and who it's really for.

Check out our Facebook and Instagram to see the cool kangaroo video we chat about. 

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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

Thank you for listening.

#139. How's our big trip going so far? This is where you find out.

Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast on a mission to open up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss - but right now, things are a little different!

If you've heard the previous episode, you'll have a good idea what this one is going to be all about. 

We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time down under. In this episode, we update you on our trip so far via Singapore to Western Australia.

And since recording (just a few hours ago), we've already remembered plenty of things we forgot to mention; like how warm the sea was in Singapore, the unexpectedly delicious ice cream sandwiches (thanks Mel!), the luge rides, the different Maltesers, and the glorious abundance of Earl Grey tea over here. 

No doubt those stories, and many more, will make their way into a future episode. 

So far we've seen and experienced some amazing things, but we've also had some disappointments, and you know us - we love to share it all with you, so tune in, and join us.

Plus, for videos of the kookaburra and bobtail lizard we mention, find us on social media.

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What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

Thank you for listening.

#138. We're off on an Ozzie adventure!

But, first things first, as promised, the all-important anonymous form: 👉 https://forms.gle/LmFrrd4xvvnEhG5R9  👈  (it'll make sense when you've listened to the episode!)

Welcome to The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

This episode is a little different, because we recorded in an unusual location about a very unusual topic!

We (Chris & Claire) are embarking on an adventure. For the rest of this year, we won’t be releasing our usual fortnightly episodes - primarily because we’re heading down under for a while - but this doesn't mean we'll be Silent. Why? 

Listen to find out.

Oh, and about that ticking clock… no, you’re not going mad - I don't think you can hear it!

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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn

What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

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Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

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#137. Can losing a friend be overlooked in our culture? What happens when the friend who knew you best is gone? And why are there so few resources to help with this kind of grief?

This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

Loss #65 of 101: Loss of a friend

In this episode, we meet Hannah Rumsey from Chicago. She's the founder of Friends Missing Friends, a community she created for people navigating the loss of a friend. And Hannah’s work grew out of her own story, when in 2015 her best friend Lauren died suddenly.

Hannah shares about the deep bond she and Lauren had, Lauren’s incredible zest for life, and the devastating way she first learned of her death - while posting a birthday message on Facebook.

Together, we explored the unique challenges of grieving a friend, and why this grief can feel invisible or minimised, how few resources exist for friend-loss grief, despite how common it is, and the surprising ways healing, and hope, can unfold over time.

This is a heartfelt and open conversation about a form of grief that isn’t often acknowledged, yet touches so many lives.

And for listeners who enjoyed my behind-the-scenes episode on how to make a podcast - there's a little bonus in this episode - some unedited audio that shows just how in sync Chris and I are with our questioning. 👌

For more about Hannah, Friends Missing Friends, and her podcast:
https://www.friendsmissingfriends.com
https://www.instagram.com/friendsmissingfriends
https://www.facebook.com/friendsmissingfriends
http://friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/friendsmissingfriends

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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn

What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods

Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

Thank you for listening.

#136. (We'll... we've actually done 226 episodes in total. You'll hear me talk about the annoying decision around episode numbering in this 226th episode!)

This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.

This episode is a little different. No blog, no interview, no Chris, and no focus on loss. It’s just you and me, pulling back the curtain for a behind-the-scenes peek at how I create this podcast.

I often get asked:
- What does it really take to produce an episode?
- Can podcasting make money?
- How do you find guests?

Today, I’m answering those questions (and more) while walking you through my own process of hosting, producing, and publishing a show.

Plus, if you’ve ever thought about starting your own podcast, this episode will give you a real sense of the time, effort, and resources involved. As well as some lessons I’ve learned along the way.

A huge thank you to everyone who supports this podcast and helps keep it going.

Special gratitude goes to our “I Love The Silent Why” members and above, on Buy Me a Coffee, who not only get a shout-out on the website but deserve a mention here too: Evelyn Calaunan, Peter Ellis, Jackie Waring, Diane Fopp, Greg Williams, and Emily Luckham. You’re amazing, and I’m so grateful for you.

Thanks also to those who support through one-offs or other levels on Buy Me a Coffee, and of course to everyone who tunes in each week. I truly couldn’t do this without you.

To learn more about the show, about Chris and me, our childless journey through loss, Herman, and everything else, visit: www.thesilentwhy.com

Send a text

Support the show

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thesilentwhy.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn

What's a Herman? / Buy a Herman - thehermancompany.com

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy

Sign-up to my mailing list (only used for sharing news occasionally!): thesilentwhy.com/newsletter

How to talk to the grieving: thesilentwhy.com/post/howtotalktothegrieving

Review the show: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Goodpods

Episode transcripts: thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com

Thank you for listening.