The Simplifiers Podcast

This is the final episode in my series on self-care and self-love (well, for now) and it's an important one.

In this past month, we've explored our relationship with food, the state of "being busy", and healing from abusive relationships. Now it's time to unlock the secrets on how to cultivate the life you actually want to live.

• How to avoid the Yes Trap
• How to cut off the weakest branches so the stronger ones grow
• How to overcome "Idea Overwhelm" and laser focus in life

It's all about understanding what's most important in your work, and your life, and integrating that back into the fold.

Bonsai is the Japanese art of cultivating small trees that mimic the shape and scale of full size trees. The purpose is all about contemplation. Bonsai isn't intended for production of food or for medicine, but simply for the long term cultivation and shaping of trees, mindfully.

I want you to think of your life as a bonsai tree as you listen to our conversation. What branches are you ready to trim?

Let's #DoTheThing.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/028-kim-sutton/

I'm a Texan, born and bred, now living in the UK. Let's talk about how to integrate as an expat.

It all comes down to the fact that humans need love and community. A sense of belonging. "Welcome Home" is a Burning Man mantra… but it applies everywhere you go.

I joke that in England we speak the same language… but we DO NOT speak the same language, which gets a few laughs. But the truth is, I'm starting to realize that if I continue to perpetuate the story of us vs them, I'll always have my 'outsider' glasses on when I see. There is no difference, we are all humans, trying to belong.

Find your people. Whether it's through a church, or a meetup group, or a local yoga studio. Try things out and see what feels right for you. Right now, for me, I'm finding it at1space in Nottingham.

Find your tribe, get connected, and give your soul what it craves the most.

I know that it's hard when you feel alone and you think that no one cares about you.

The truth is, the more you isolate, the more you'll find it harder to connect with others and ultimately, with yourself.

Yes, even extroverts need alone time and yes, we all need time and space to recharge, reconnect and recalibrate by ourselves. But hear me out… nice people exist in your new city.

People that will enrich your life, with theirs.

All it takes is looking up from your phone. Sharing a kind smile with someone you pass by on your way to work. Slowing down and being brave to spark up a conversation.

Take the next step towards connection. And if you hit rejection along the way, remember, 9 times out of 10, it's someone else dealing with their ISH and not about you. Keep going.

You'll find your groove soon enough. Don't give up.

You can do this, I believe in you.

It's time to SIMPLIFY.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/bonus-024/

They say some people enter your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. And when you first meet someone, you might not know how long they'll stay or how they'll impact your life.

My special guest, Spike Gillespie is someone I've known for well over 10 years now. Her beloved nickname (given by my children to her) is "Uncle Spike" and she's someone whose presence is greatly appreciated by every member of my family.

But Spike's story is a unique one. You see, not too long ago, she met a gentleman named Bob and opened up her home at the Tiny T Ranch (and eventually) her heart to him.

• Who Bob was and what the experience was like to have an 87 year old roommate
• What this taught her about family and about father figures in her life
• Spike's process of writing this book, The Tao of Bob, versus the eight other books before it
• Her personal journey navigating in and out of abusive and troubled relationships (whether it's with parents or past partners) and how Bob gave her new insight, love and shared healing
• Spike also shares simple, practical tips if you are struggling with an abusive or troubled relationship in your life.

I feel lucky and honored to have met Bob myself. He is a bright light of joy, love and radiance like I've never seen before. And their bond took my breath away. The timing of the Universe is magnificent, when we stop and pause and take it all in.

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did and it brings healing if you have tricky relationships in your life right now. Remember, you are not alone.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/027-spike-gillespie/

How to bring fun back into your life:

• Play is key
• Fun is a way of life, not a reward
• Don't care that other people are watching you
• Don't overthink it, just do it...no need to plan every little second

Play isn't just for kids. Fun is something you deserve in life. But if you're feeling like you don't have time for frivolity, I want to challenge that thought.

It might be the exact time to ease up on the go, go, go...achieve, achieve, achieve.

And just simply give yourself permission to play.

You aren't wasting time when you do this. In fact, this could be exactly what your soul craves and needs the most, right now.

And it does t have to be extravagant. Just pick up some paints and throw it onto a canvas. Just pull out the kid's legos and build something. Anything.

Go play hooky from work and go swimming. That one-hour break could significantly change your perspective on life.

And that might just be what you need most.

You can do this, I believe in you.

It's time to SIMPLIFY.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/bonus-023/

We are continuing on with our focus this month, all about self-care and self-love…and well, today's topic is a huge, HUGE part of my own journey towards healing.

We're talking about Busy… with a capital B.

I feel a bit vulnerable (and scared) to say this out loud but one of the biggest stories that I've believed in, since I was a very little girl is…

Accomplished = Loved.

And if you just did MORE, you would achieve more. And so when people ask, "how are you?" and you unconsciously say, "oh, I'm sooooooo busy!" - maybe it's time to pause and reassess if--like I had to--you need to break up with being so busy.

• Why is BUSY a badge of honor these days, and how bad is it?
• What's behind the brain chemistry of WHY we are so addicted to our phones and social media
• How to diagnose if you're an OSW (aka, an Overscheduled Woman) and if so, which of the 5 types are you
• What is the 5-step "Super Solutions" process and how to implement it
• How to shift your mindset in a big, transformative way and stop being so darn BUSY

This one hit me to the core.

It wasn't an easy conversation but it was a necessary one. I hope that as I share more about my personal story (and especially my fumbles along the way), it'll spark new ideas of tiny changes you can make in your life, to get back to center.

Let's #DoTheThing.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/026-yvonne-tally/

If we haven't met in person yet, here's the best way I can describe myself.

I'm 5'10" inches.

I am strong, healthy and well... a bit squishy around the midsection.

Tummy rolls, extra skin from birthing two awesome kids. Stretch marks.

Yup, I've got all of that.

At the time of this recording, I weigh ~195 lbs. That's 88 kg or 13.9 stones, if you live in Europe.

My Body Mass Index (aka. my BMI) is hovering around 28 and the scales say I'm "overweight", teetering towards "obese."

I eat fairly healthy… fruits, veggies, proteins, legumes, nuts and all of that stuff. I don't really drink at all. I work out 3-4 times a week, consistently. And I'm learning to slow down, take the time to prep my lunches beforehand, not eat in front of my computer screen, and really slow down to chew and taste my food.

The reason I share all of this is because my body and I haven't been friends for a very, very long time now.

I think my earliest memory of being aware of my weight was right around age 6, when I was in a ballet recital and everyone else's tutu on the costume rack was tiny and mine was much, much bigger. Or at least, so I thought.

I've always known I was different.

Only recently have I realized that there's a term for this disorder:

Body Dysmorphia is basically a mental health condition where you think a part of your body is much bigger or flawed when compared to others.

See, the thing is… I've not overcome this yet. I'm a bit of a work-in-progress.

When I hear that this is a "mental health condition" - my brain instantly thinks, "um, this isn't a mental thing… this is a FACT. Facts are facts, America! Look at my tummy rolls in the mirror. BLEH."

Body shame is not something you overcome overnight.

This healing work takes time but it also requires me to slow down and make the time to listen to my body, connect with it once again and ask the all-important questions:

And if not, is there a better way?

What would nourish me, right here, right now?

While I haven't figured it all out yet, I wanted to share a few ideas of what's helping me these days. So, if you're struggling with this issue, this episode is for you!

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/bonus-022/

All too often, we go, go, go in the summer months from vacation to hauling the kids to/from summer camp, to this and that and before you know it, it's back-to-school tornado time and we forget to take a hot second to nourish ourselves. We run ourselves ragged and tend to everyone else's needs before our own.

So, this month's episodes are all meant to be moments just for you, to slow down, pause and ponder one aspect of your life that might need deeper exploration.

For me, one of those areas is all about emotional eating.

• What is "Emotional Eating" and why do we (really) do it?
• How to cultivate the "Inner Nurturer" inside you and why
• How to re-define "self-regulation" to be a positive thing, a GIFT we give ourselves
• Seven powerful mindfulness skills that help strengthen your Inner Nurturer and rewire your brain

I've shared a little bit of my personal story in past episodes as I'm recovering from body shame and getting comfortable in my own skin. We went there in today's episode as well.

So if this is a tricky topic for you, please know you are not alone. I hope my open and honest conversation with Julie today helps you begin to heal as well.

Let's #DoTheThing.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/025-julie-simon/

The short answer = NOW.

The long answer is coming up…

Consider your current work life, and raise your hand if any of this describes you now:

• You're drowning in to-do's
• The admin work of running your business is never-ending
• You've got tasks on your to-do list that have been there for months. They KEEP getting pushed to the bottom because of more urgent stuff
• There are red flags in your business that you are too afraid to admit to, because you don't have the expertise to fix them
• You've had the thought "by the time I delegate that, I could've done it myself!"
• You often think "It's just easier if I take care of it!"
• You have shame around the stuff you're not dealing with

Girl, I feel ya.

It's scary to let people in, let go of your precious and trust that when you delegate, you will inevitably grow your business.

• How long can you keep going at this pace?
• If this isn't your ideal life, why are you continuing on without getting help?

• What will it ultimately cost if you don't get help?

You might be totally surprised at how affordable it is to hire a VA these days. Thank you technology for making this easier and more accessible than ever before! You can hire one for as little as $150 from The Simplifiers.

Long gone are the days of thinking you need to hire a fresh-out-of-college student without any experience and pay them $15/hour x 40 hours a week, plus insurance, benefits, vacation, pension and more.

Find a VA (whether from us or somewhere else) who is experienced, well-versed and possesses the knowledge and skills that you're missing. Take a listen to the episode with Desiree Martinez for more insider tips on what to look for when hiring a VA. That'll help you get on the right track.

You don't have to go it alone.

The help you seek is facing you right now. It's knocking on the door and saying hello!

Don't be ashamed if things are in a bit of disarray.

An excellent VA will thrive in chaos, loving to put systems & processes in place to help you.

This is their superpower.

All you have to do is be brave and answer the call.

You can do this, I believe in you.

It's time to SIMPLIFY.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/bonus-021/

Friends, if you're a Type A control freak in recovery, who has a little bit of a hard time letting go of things… (um, like I used to be), hear me out.

I made this episode especially for you.

I want you to imagine what life would look and feel like if you had a team surrounding you and supporting you. Doing all the work that you HATE and aren't very good at. What would that be like?

• Why you need to delegate and how it will help
• How you will increase sales by delegating
• How it'll give you your time back
• What to look for when hiring your first VA (Virtual Assistant)
• How to track your team's work flow and the best practices for communication when working virtually

I've found myself saying "No one does it as well as I do".

Or "no one cares as much as me."

While it may be hard to do at first, the more trust I put into my team—and allow them to step up and take the reins—the more my business grows.

Desiree helps us learn the power of delegation. This episode is going to get you excited about 'passing it on'.

Let's #DoTheThing.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/024-desiree-martinez/

"Know, Like, Trust." What does it actually mean? Let's break it all down.

Do people really know your backstory, how you got to be this expert, and what fumbles you made along the way? Can you peel back the curtain and show them a little more?

It's not about being popular.

It's about finding like-minded people who will chuckle at your jokes, vibe with your vibe and appreciate you sharing things about the path you're on.

Your prospective clients are thinking:

"Can I trust that you will do the thing you promised?"

"Show up consistently?"

"Bring great value?"

If you haven't listened to episode 023 with Chris Marr on content marketing, I highly, highly recommend going back and downloading it. So many businesses get this wrong and it all ties back in with Know, Like and Trust.

It's time to take the next step.

You can do this, I believe in you.

It's time to SIMPLIFY.

Show notes available with all LINKS mentioned here: https://thesimplifiers.com/podcast/bonus-020/