The SOBER Method

🎁 Free 10-week study guide for The Blueprint of Becoming (leader’s + participant’s guides): https://blueprintofbecoming.com/free-resources/
📖 Book: The Blueprint of Becoming by Wesley Farnsworth https://blueprintofbecoming.com
🎙️ Podcast: Unmasked with Wesley Farnsworth – https://wesleyfarnsworth.com/unmasked-podcast/
Website: https://wesleyfarnsworth.com/
🎁 S.O.B.E.R. Method 5 tools: https://sobermethod.com/5tools

Description
Massimo Rigotti talks with Wesley Farnsworth, author of The Blueprint of Becoming and host of Unmasked, about hiding a 20-year addiction behind a high-functioning exterior. They explore the performance mask many high-achieving men wear, why willpower alone keeps the cycle going, and how surrender, honesty, and community break it. Wesley shares his North Star analogy: when something other than your true purpose steers you, you drift. The talk aligns with the Observe and Behavior steps of the S.O.B.E.R. Method.

Key Takeaways
· The performance mask hardens over time; looking fine outside sustains the hidden cycle.
· Willpower backfires—white-knuckling is control that isolates and keeps you stuck.
· An addiction loses grip the moment you tell one trusted person.
· Surrender, not force, turns the corner: admitting you cannot do it alone is the first step.
· Find your North Star: realign when a job, relationship, or addiction takes the guiding position.
· Community and accountability make change last—like a gym partner who counts on you.
· Daily self-inventory (Observe) catches patterns early; one honest Behavior change redirects before problems grow.

Actionable Step from the Episode
Next time you notice a mental loop or feel a mask’s weight, pause five minutes. On paper, center “Who I am becoming.” Branch one: name the hindrance or mask. Branch two: one honest step or surrender aligning with who you are meant to be. This Observe-and-Behavior practice names what steers you and moves you one true step forward.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™
A mask kept too long hardens, but thirty seconds of honesty starts breaking the cycle. You do not have to white-knuckle freedom. Name what steers your ship, surrender control, and let your true North Star guide the course.

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method
Website: https://sobermethod.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sobermethod

Thoughts trapped in your head keep the same mental loops alive, even after periods of sobriety. John Diggs joins Massimo Rigotti to show how a five minute brain dump creates third person relief, how the I AM Mind Map rebuilds identity after rock bottom across health, wealth, success, and happiness, and why clarity on paper turns overwhelm into a next step you can actually take. This is the Observe and Restore work of the S.O.B.E.R. Method, for people who want sobriety and cannot walk into a public room to admit it.

• When thoughts, feelings, and emotions stay trapped in your head, they swirl into overwhelm, and you cannot tell what is true from what is an old belief.
• A five minute brain dump on any scrap of paper creates third person distance. Thoughts stop feeling like they are you, which is the first step into visual thinking and mappineering.
• After the mortgage meltdown wiped John Diggs's business, home, and identity, three months of mind mapping the contents of a moving box showed him that life is meant to be loved, and that he first had to get clear on who he is.
• The I AM Mind Map puts I AM in the center and builds around four anchors before goals: health, wealth, success, and happiness. Identity first makes the real goals reveal themselves.
• The map is not a one time artifact. Core anchors stay, while the approach evolves as you learn, so you can declare who you are becoming and get back on track when an old trigger hits.
• Massimo's Observe and Restore move this week: when mental clutter or a familiar loop shows up, pause five minutes, draw a center circle labeled Who Am I Becoming, branch current patterns, the real costs, and one small intentional shift, then repeat at least three times this week.

00:00 Why mental loops survive even after periods of sobriety
01:42 How the mind creates barriers through lack of clarity
04:14 How a five minute brain dump creates third person relief
07:16 Why thoughts on paper stop feeling like they are you
08:06 How the mortgage meltdown wiped an entire identity
10:08 Why mind mapping revealed that life is meant to be loved
12:06 How visual clarity shortened the haze after rock bottom
13:06 Why identity comes before strategy on the four anchors
14:42 How the I AM map evolves while the core stays steady
18:19 How declaring who you are breaks addiction identity
23:00 Why it is okay to adjust the map without losing the core
25:03 How mind mapping supports the S.O.B.E.R. Method daily
27:43 How to run this week's Observe and Restore map move
30:52 Why clarity is power when you feel stuck in the loop

• 🎁 Free gift! The exact 5 tools I use with clients to name what is really driving the urge to numb, before it takes over. Grab them free: https://sobermethod.com/5tools
• 📘 Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method, available now: https://amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9

If you want lasting sobriety without walking into a room that could follow the job or the license, start at https://sobermethod.com/services.

John Diggs is a mappineering mentor, motivational speaker, and creator of the I AM Mind Map System. A former NFL player and Southern California mortgage entrepreneur, he rebuilt after the 2007 and 2008 mortgage crisis using mind mapping and now helps people slow their thinking, declare who they are becoming, and move with clarity across health, wealth, success, and happiness. His free I AM Clarity Assessment starts at https://johndiggs.com instagram.com/@johndiggsmappineer

Dave Johnson Links
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DaveJohnson-Motivation101

🎁Free gift! S.O.B.E.R. Method Tools https://sobermethod.com/5tools

Description: Massimo Rigotti welcomes Dave Johnson to unpack the hidden mechanics of long-term addiction. Dave shares what 31 years of battling addiction, including four years homeless and living out of his car, taught him about how the mind creates self-deception, repeats destructive loops, and uses past trauma as fuel. The conversation explores the turning point of seeing the pain caused to loved ones, the power of meditation and mindfulness to return to the present moment, and practical ways to retrain thinking for lasting freedom. These insights align directly with the Observe, Behavior, Execute, and Restore steps in S.O.B.E.R. Method and show how to build your Flavor of Confidence through honest self-observation and intentional mindset shifts.

Key Takeaways:

• Addiction often stems from past trauma and the mind’s refusal to stay present, creating self-deception and repeating loops that feel impossible to escape.
• Seeing the real impact on loved ones can become the turning point that finally sticks when consequences outweigh the perceived benefits of using.
• Meditation and mindfulness bring the mind back to the only moment that exists, breaking the grip of past regrets and future worries.
• Self-worth and relationships improve when we give grace to others’ character defects while choosing our own circles wisely and practicing radical honesty.
• The top of the “cliff” (material success) and the bottom of the “rock” both reveal that true freedom comes from within, not external fixes.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™ You don’t need more discipline or escapes. Addiction trains the mind to lie and keep old patterns alive. Retraining your thinking and pausing to see the real cost to others creates lasting freedom. Before we close, the simple step: when you notice one of those familiar thought loops or urges today, pause for a moment and ask yourself who you are actually affecting with this right now. Then choose one honest, retrained thought that acknowledges the real cost instead of the lie your mind is telling you. Do this at least once today and notice what shifts. This is how we turn decades of painful lessons into daily momentum and expand our Flavor of Confidence.

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method Website: https://sobermethod.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod
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Jennifer Chase
Website: www.riseaddictionlc.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jenchase
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.reinhartchase/
Facebook Rise Addiction: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61556916146972
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riseaddiction

Description
In this moving Perspectives Bonus episode, Massimo Rigotti sits down with Jennifer Chase to explore the often-unseen ripple effects of addiction across every role in a family. Jennifer shares her multi-layered journey as the daughter of an alcoholic, a trauma survivor, someone who developed her own opioid addiction after a brain tumor, and a mother who unknowingly became part of her son’s supply chain.
Her story aligns with the Stoic, Observe, Behavior, Execute, and Restore principles of the S.O.B.E.R. Method and demonstrates how real grounded confidence emerges when we stop performing strength and start telling the truth.

Key Takeaways:

• Addiction is rarely the root problem; it is often the solution to deeper pain, trauma, and unmet needs that run generationally.
• Masks and codependency formed in childhood for safety can become the very patterns that keep us stuck as adults.
• The day consequences outweigh benefits marks a true turning point, but healing is not linear and requires ongoing work.
• Recovering from codependency as a loved one is often harder than personal recovery because it involves powerlessness over someone else’s choices.
• Writing or voicing what it feels like to live with a loved one’s addiction gets the fear and shame out of our bodies and onto the page where it can be examined.
• Everyone on the family “dance floor” contributes to the dynamic; healing requires accountability from all sides, not just the person in active use.
• Small, consistent actions and telling the truth build authentic confidence far more effectively than performing strength or seeking external validation.

Actionable Step from the Episode: If you have a loved one struggling with addiction right now, get out a pen and a piece of paper today and start writing about what it feels like. This is how we begin to move the fear, codependency, and pain out of our bellies and onto the page. You do not need to make it publishable. Just get it out.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™
Addiction does not just steal from the person using it. It reshapes entire families across generations. Healing asks us to stop performing strength and start building real grounded confidence. One honest choice, one boundary, and one restored relationship at a time.

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method Website: https://sobermethod.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sobermethod

🎁Free gift! Get instant access to Amber’s guided audio to “Stop a Binge Before it Starts” ⁠HERE⁠! https://www.theconfidenteater.org/urge-guest

💚Podcast: https://www.theconfidenteater.org/podcast
💚Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theconfidenteater_/
💚Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@amberabila
💚Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amber.abila.77/
💚Free Support Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/532434625387487/?mibextid=c7yyfP

Description
Massimo Rigotti welcomes Amber Abila to discuss the deep connection between food struggles such as binge eating, emotional eating, overeating and substance addiction. Amber shares her personal journey and practical, neuroscience-based tools for rewiring the relationship with food. Massimo opens up about how a completely non-processed diet eliminated his bipolar symptoms. The conversation covers viewing binge eating as a habit, managing urges, the impact of hyper-palatable flavors, visualization, and shifting from restriction to adding positive elements.

Key Takeaways

• Binge eating and substance use often stem from similar brain habit patterns and reward systems.
• Handling urges becomes simpler when we question our thoughts and learn to sit with discomfort.
• Hyper-palatable flavors in food and alcohol trick the brain and increase cravings while making real food taste less appealing.
• Personal stories show how recognizing the impact on others and choosing honesty can become a powerful turning point.
• Shifting focus from what we give up to what we gain (energy, peace, mental clarity) makes change sustainable.
• Visualization and small, consistent actions build self-trust and confidence.

Actionable Step from the Episode
Observe one moment today when a food craving or emotional eating urge shows up. Catch it in real time and name it without judgment. Then pause and choose one small, intentional action aligned with how you want to feel, such as taking a short walk, drinking a glass of water, or sitting with the urge for a couple of minutes. Practice this at least three times this week and note what happens in your journal.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™
You do not need more discipline or escapes. Clean, intentional eating and mindset shifts quietly transform both sobriety and mental clarity.

🎁Free Gift: The 5 Tools https://sobermethod.com/5tools
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod
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Free Tools and Guide: https://sobermethod.com/5tools

Massimo Rigotti presents a focused solo episode on the shifting landscape of alcohol use among busy professionals in 2026. He identifies four major trends that are moving sobriety and reduced drinking from the margins into mainstream professional strategy. Rather than framing change around rock bottom, he connects each trend to the practical, repeatable steps of the S.O.B.E.R. Method. He also explains the deeper meaning of Flavors of Confidence, the authentic, earned confidence that emerges from consistent practice rather than performance or pretense. The episode offers both context and a clear operating system for listeners who want lasting results rather than temporary motivation.

Key Segments and Integration with the S.O.B.E.R. Method

Segment 1: The Mainstreaming of Sober-Curious Choices as Professional Strategy
Busy professionals are choosing to drink less because alcohol quietly steals focus, sleep, and sharp decisions. This is a calculated performance move, not a crisis response.

Segment 2: Nervous System Regulation as the Hidden Foundation
Many relapse patterns and emotional volatility trace back to a dysregulated nervous system shaped by chronic high output and alcohol as the default off-switch. S.O.B.E.R. counters this through Behavior and Execute, which build repeatable down-regulation practices.

Segment 3: Personalized Recovery and Emerging Tools
External tools only deliver lasting results when built on a strong internal operating system. The S.O.B.E.R. Method provides that system.

Segment 4: Self-Awareness, Tracking, and Emotional Sobriety
Self-awareness and emotional sobriety, the capacity to process feelings without immediate escape, are gaining recognition.

The S.O.B.E.R. Move for This Week
Select one pattern or urge that has appeared recently, such as the end-of-day wind-down, a stress spike, or quiet boredom that once led to a drink. Run it through the full cycle. In the Stoic step, clarify what you are truly seeking and what the version of you that you are becoming would choose. In Observe, note what is happening in your body, thoughts, and environment without judgment. In Behavior, select one small, different action. In Execute, carry it out and log the result simply. In Restore, offer yourself the same compassion you would extend to someone you respect who is learning. Practice this with one pattern at least three times this week.

Listener Action Steps
Visit https://sobermethod.com/5tools for the free guide and tools that support daily practice. Begin or deepen your S.O.B.E.R. journaling this week.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™
These trends become transformation only when they are anchored in consistent practice. The S.O.B.E.R. Method turns inspiration into an operating system. Grab the book Flavors of Confidence: S.O.B.E.R. Method for the complete framework. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with another high-performer who needs to hear that choosing less or none is not loss. It is the return of your edge and your self.

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method
Website: https://sobermethod.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod
TikTok: @sobermethod

“You are already a 10.” – Steve Barton

Steve Barton

Website: https://www.stevebartoncoaching.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/service-marketplace/projects/15194679164/

Co-author of The Father, The Son and The Aha Moment

Massimo Rigotti sits down with Steve Barton, business builder, creator of the Game of 10, and a registered health and wellness coach whose process was presented to the Harvard Business School case study team. Steve has spent decades helping high-achieving men who look completely in control on the outside but are quietly managing intense internal pressure — fear, self-doubt, guilt, and shame.

Steve shares his own powerful awakening at age 36 after running his family business and realizing he had “everything in the world but wasn’t happy.” He explains the key distinction between discipline-based sobriety and true awareness-based self-mastery. Through his simple, real-time framework — The Game of 10 — he teaches high performers how to shift from being driven by fear and ego to living from presence, authenticity, and inner peace without needing escapes.

The six core declarations — I am a 10. I’m doing the best I can with the awareness I have. I am enough. I do enough. I have enough. — become an active meditation that quiets the racing mind and aligns thoughts, feelings, and actions with your innate divine state of being.

This conversation maps directly onto the S.O.B.E.R. Method, especially the Observe → Behavior → Execute cycle. Steve’s Game of 10 gives listeners a practical way to catch internal noise in real time and respond from awareness instead of reaction.

The S.O.B.E.R. Move for This Week (Direct from the Episode)

Observe one moment today when internal noise — fear, self-doubt, guilt, shame, or the urge to escape into work or old habits — starts to run the show.

Pause and name it. Ask yourself: “Am I at a 10 right now or am I identified with thought?”

Execute by silently or out loud declaring the Game of 10 phrases: I am a 10. I’m doing the best I can with the awareness I have. I am enough. I do enough. I have enough.

Repeat this active meditation at least three times this week and notice the difference between being run by the noise versus living from clarity and calm.

Listener Action Steps

• Visit https://www.stevebartoncoaching.com to learn more about the Game of 10 and Steve’s coaching.

• Memorize and practice the six Game of 10 declarations daily as an active meditation.

• Run one full S.O.B.E.R. cycle this week using the Game of 10 when internal pressure arises.

• Share this episode with a high-achieving man who looks successful on the outside but carries heavy internal pressure.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method

Website: https://sobermethod.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sobermethod

Massimo Rigotti, The S.O.B.E.R. Method Podcast

“Be curious instead of furious.” – Nadege Saysana

Nadege “Nan” Saysana

Website: https://www.milobingefix.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nan.saysana.coaching/

LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/nan-saysana/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nadege.saysana1/

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@nadegesaysanacoaching

Massimo Rigotti sits down with Nan Saysana, founder of Milo BingeFix and Havening techniques practitioner. Nan helps high-achieving women who stay incredibly disciplined all day yet lose control at night with food, scrolling, or other numbing behaviors. Drawing from her own 30-year journey, she reveals that the root cause is rarely the food itself but deep patterns of “I’m not good enough,” stress, and perfectionism. She shares rapid, neuroscience-backed tools, including simple Havening touch and breathwork that can interrupt the urge loop in under 10 seconds.

The conversation maps directly onto the S.O.B.E.R. Method, giving listeners concrete ways to observe the first flicker of the urge, name what is really happening, and execute a grounded response before momentum builds.

The S.O.B.E.R. Listener Action Steps

• Visit https://www.milobingefix.com/ to explore Nan’s work with high-achieving women and sign up for her free masterclass “I just ate dinner. Why do I want more?” or the free gift “How Not to Eat Everything After Dinner.”

• Practice one Havening or grounding technique (hand-rubbing or deep breathing) at least three times today, even when you are not in an urge moment, so it becomes available when the urge hits.

• Run the full S.O.B.E.R. cycle on one nighttime trigger this week and journal what you notice.

• Share this episode with a high-achieving friend who stays disciplined all day but struggles once the house gets quiet.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™

You do not need more willpower. You need better tools and a kinder inner voice. Nan’s practical neuroscience techniques prove that you can catch the urge in seconds, respond with self-compassion, and build the trust in yourself that lasts long after the lights go out. The sober, steady version of you is already there. You are simply learning how to let her lead.

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method

Website: https://sobermethod.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sobermethod

Massimo Rigotti, The S.O.B.E.R. Method Podcast

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I would rather have Nicholas here any day than have him gone.” – Katie Rizzo

Katie Rizzo
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katierizzo007/
Website & Books: https://www.katierizzo.com/
The Trimesters of Grief (memoir) – available wherever books are sold

Massimo Rigotti launches the Perspectives Bonus Series with Katie Rizzo, mother, high school teacher, and author of the upcoming memoir The Trimesters of Grief. Katie shares the heartbreaking story of losing her 25-year-old son Nicholas to an accidental overdose involving oxycodone and Xanax.

Nicholas was a gifted soccer player, a people-pleaser who struggled with anxiety, and a young man who never felt he was enough despite being deeply loved. What began with sports injuries and prescribed painkillers spiraled into years of rehabs, shame, secrecy, and family heartbreak. Katie speaks candidly about the stigma she and Nicholas faced, the self-blame that nearly defined her, and her refusal to let her son be remembered only as “an addict.”

Katie introduces her powerful framework, The Trimesters of Grief, likening the grieving process to pregnancy: the disorienting first trimester, the isolating second trimester when the world moves on, and the third trimester in which grief becomes something you must nurture daily while still showing up for life. Through poetry, art, saying “yes” to others, and doing esteemable things, she is learning to carry both her love for Nicholas and the grief that remains.

This episode shines a light on the often-invisible side of addiction, the toll it takes on parents, siblings, and marriages, and the quiet strength required to fight shame and silence.

Key Takeaways
• Addiction is a family disease fueled by shame and stigma.
• “He wasn’t an addict… he was my son” — a powerful reminder of the human being behind the struggle.
• Grief does not have an expiration date; it must be carried and befriended.
• Doing esteemable things rebuilds self-worth for both those in recovery and those left behind.
• Society’s “willpower and rock bottom” approach leaves too many families broken.

Listener Reflection for This Week

1. Observe one moment when shame or self-blame arises—about your own past or someone you love.
2. Name it without judgment: “This is the disease speaking, not the truth about me or them.”
3. Choose one small, esteemable act of self-compassion or connection.
4. Execute it at least three times this week and notice how it shifts what you are carrying.

Listener Action Steps
• Pre-order or follow The Trimesters of Grief.
• Follow Katie on Instagram @katierizzo007 for poetry and reflections.
• If you are supporting someone in addiction or walking through grief, attend one grief support meeting this week.
• Share this episode with any parent or loved one who feels alone in their struggle.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™
Addiction does not define the person we love — or the person left behind. Katie’s courage reminds us that even in the deepest grief, love and legacy endure. You are not alone. Healing is possible. Hope is real.

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method
Website and Work with Massimo: sobermethod.com
All socials: @sobermethod
Massimo Rigotti, The S.O.B.E.R. Method Podcast

“It’s not the thing, it’s the place from which it’s coming from.” – Chris Rogers

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebootedteen/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rebootedteen

Free Rebooted Teen Parent Program: https://www.rebootedteen.com

Massimo Rigotti sits down with Chris Rogers, certified recovery coach and founder of Rebooted Teen. Chris turned his own long struggle with compulsive pornographic use into a mission helping parents break generational cycles of addiction and digital dependence.

They discuss how successful parents can quietly battle their own patterns while fearing their kids are suffering in silence. Chris shares practical red flags (secrecy around devices, over-sexualized language, cynicism about relationships, apps like TikTok, YouTube, Discord, and Snapchat), shame-free ways to start conversations, and why the real target is never the behavior itself but the underlying emotional needs.

Key tools from the Rebooted Teen Program include the Park Bench Exercise (dialoguing with your future rebooted self) and Internal Family Systems dialoguing with sub-personalities to build self-awareness without shame. The episode emphasizes values-driven decisions, modeling the confidence you want your children to develop, and why recovery is an inside-out process.

This conversation aligns powerfully with the S.O.B.E.R. Method, showing parents how to Observe their own nervous-system reactions, design calm responses, and Execute new behaviors that break cycles before they reach the next generation.

The S.O.B.E.R. Move for This Week

1. Observe one moment this week when your nervous system reacts strongly to something your teen or child does (fear, anger, urge to control, or avoid). Name the old pattern without judgment.
2. Pause and ask: Am I reacting from my own unresolved wiring or leading from the parent I want to be?
3. Choose one small, calm, shame-free response.
4. Execute that new response at least three times this week and notice how the conversations and relationship feel.

Listener Action Steps

• Run one full S.O.B.E.R. cycle in your journal on a parent-child trigger.

• Download the free Rebooted Teen Parent Program at https://www.rebootedteen.com and try a conversation starter this week.

• Practice the Park Bench or dialoguing exercise yourself first.

• Share this episode with any parent quietly worried about their child’s screen time or compulsive behaviors.

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™ You don’t need to be a perfect parent — you need to be a present, self-aware one. Small, shame-free conversations today can prevent generational cycles tomorrow. Healing is possible. Hope is real.

Explore the S.O.B.E.R. Method

Website and Work with Massimo: sobermethod.com

All socials: @sobermethod

Massimo Rigotti, The S.O.B.E.R. Method Podcast