Special guest Sandy Phillips Kirkham tells her story of abuse by her youth minister in the 1970s. She was just 16 years old when he first kissed her then progressed to sex when she was 17. The abuse lasted for five years, and included physical violence and psychological abuse. Sandy explains how the beloved pastor was able to abuse her and several other victims while keeping the church under his control.

Sandy's book, Let Me Prey Upon You, can be ordered here:
https://www.amazon.com/Let-Prey-Upon-You-Ministers/dp/1734195207/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=let+me+prey+upon+you&qid=1594215829&sr=8-1

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Many survivors wonder how they can find purpose after abuse. Is there a way to do that as you heal? In this episode, we discuss how some have shifted their perspective as they heal in order to help other people.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Learning to trust people after abuse takes time, and it should. People have to be trustworthy in order to be trusted. In this episode, we talk more about different levels of trust, and how you can regain control over the people you choose to share your life with.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Abuse destroys victims' ability to trust again. Learning to trust again is important, but blindly trusting people is not wise. People need to be trustworthy. So how do we find trustworthy people, and how important is it to recognize that there are different levels of trust? Find out as we hash it out in this episode.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284#

Children most often do not know that what is happening to them is abuse. They usually don't have the vocabulary to describe it and abusers often make the abuse seem like it is an act of "love." But do children sense that something wrong is happening? And, if so, what tools can we give our children to be able to act on those feelings?

Find out in this episode what tips we offer.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

What is the difference between healing and closure? They are very different, but are also related. Is it possible for survivors of abuse to get closure and, if so, how is it possible to get there? We unpack this difficult topic in this episode.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Spouses of abusers experience trauma. Many of them lose financial resources, friends, church communities, etc. at the same time that they are processing the reality that the person they once loved and trusted was a fraud. There are multiple layers of trauma in the aftermath of abuse.

In this episode, Clara shares parts of her healing journey and explains that help often comes from unlikely places. She offers encouragement to all the people who are walking this difficult path.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

We often get messages from people asking what help there is for spouses of abusers. They are often the forgotten group, but their struggle is still very much real. In this episode, Clara shares the struggles that spouses of abusers go through.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

On this 100th episode of The Speaking Out On Sex Abuse Podcast, we interview Boz Tchividjian, attorney and founder and Executive Director of G.R.A.C.E. Boz talks about the judicial system being overburdened during the COVID-19 quarantines, how abuse is on the rise, and how these issues are complex. We discuss ways individuals, advocates, and churches can prepare to help these victims seek help.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowflake/56350 Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblinglibrarian/41284

Transcript for podcast available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZfeEBgCeRcfSHfQB76v_Aa2ef0Yook0HNG8ctZUzM1U/edit?usp=sharing

There is a dark underbelly of stay-at-home orders that not many people are talking about. Many advocates and case workers are crying out for help because there has been a major uptick of severe cases of domestic violence since the quarantines began. One person in Florida is urging the governor to open schools for two weeks so that teachers can assess and identify children who have been severely abused while on lock down at home. This person called our quarantines as a "pressure cooker environment," where many families are jobless, have bills to pay, and have the stress of raising and teaching their children full time.

In this episode, we talk about how staying home is costing lives for a lot of people. Depression, anxiety, and suicide are plaguing families. We also offer some tips for what we can be doing about it right now.

Intro--
Film Glitch by Snowflake (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/snowfla... Ft: reusenoise

Outro--
I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/ramblin...