The Sporting Probe with Roy & HG Catchup Podcast - Triple M Network - Roy Slaven and HG Nelson

What an incredible week it’s been, a week where too much sport was barely enough but luckily Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson are here to unpack all the big issues including:

A call for new laws to jail doubters and grubs who bag our nation’s soccer coach.

Why Ellyse Perry’s Dad should be the batting coach for the Men’s Australian Ashes Squad.

A plan to stop true blue Aussie horses being frozen out of the Melbourne Cup.

Why we need a seperate Minister for Australian Auto sports.

And if that’s not enough, discover who is behind the big budget bio-pic on the life of Roy’s champion horse, Rooting King (hint: first name Russell, last name Crowe) and who will take the role of young Rooting King (hint: it’s not Winx.) Tally-ho!

Have you been infected by ghouls? Invaded by troublesome little devils? Then maybe you, like Roy Slaven, need a little exorcism to rid yourself of these evil spirits.

Roy and HG Nelson explain what you need to do to deal with this unnerving problem in this week’s podcast (hint: it involves finding a witchdoctor.)

Plus, discover if this year’s Melbourne Cup was the best ever (hint: of course it was,) and, Who is the best wicket-keeper in the world today (hint: she has very good genes.)

Then there’s Roy and HG’s simple solution to stop curators doctoring cricket pitches (hint: it involves a bloody big aircraft carrier) and why Australia should flummox the Poms by naming four wicket-keepers in their Ashes squad (hint: at least there will be plenty of chirping from behind the stumps.)

Finally, has missing Lithgow Shamrock footballer Mick Benson miraculously re-appeared after disappearing so dramatically 40 years ago? This could be the story of the year so, hold the front page!

Are you a genuine Australian or just some sort of Fiona Nash-style blow in?

There is now an easy way to test your dinky-di bona fides thanks to The Sporting Probe – simply download the Am I Australian app created by Roy and HG.

The Am I Australian app is easy to use and will give peace of mind to anyone who has found themselves wondering, ‘Am I a genuine Australian?’ All details and operating instructions can be found right here.

Luckily, even if you are not a genuine Australian and more of a Fiona Nash blow in, this week’s Sporting Probe podcast will get you up to speed on what a great week it has been to be a genuine Australian – so, bog in!

What a week, a week of massive collects, and the biggest winners of all are you lucky bastards with your fingers poised to download this week’s episode of The Sporting Probe.

Topics dissected by Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson include Winx and how the nag’s new sponsorship has the champion driving a specially-modified car which, as listeners will learn, is a step-up from Rooting King’s days as ambassador for Finlay’s Fine Furniture.

There’s in-depth analysis of who has the best death stare in the world – Foreign Minister Julie Bishop or Channel 7 personality Bruce McAvaney and we learn why Roy knew Geoffrey Edelsten’s recent marriage was not going to last.

That’s only a small taste of the smorgasbord of downloadable delights on offer courtesy of Roy Slaven, the Butcher of the Year, and the Man With His Thumbs On The Scales, HG Nelson. Dig in!

If anyone doubts that The Sporting Probe is Australia’s number one educational programme then listen up and you might learn something this week.

Subjects covered by Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson include:

Why you shouldn’t buy a Holden built on a Friday afternoon.

How Bernard Tomic earnt his new and very catchy nickname.

How Holden seat covers will become part of the Australian Winter Olympic team’s uniforms.

How physicist Stephen Hawking has become a major influence on football coaches.

Not enough learning for you? Then try swotting up on why angry punters are attacking newsagencies with graffiti and how cream should replace green and gold as Australia’s new national colour.

If nudism offends you please avert your ears from this week’s episode of The Sporting Probe with Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson.

Prudish types will understandably be mortified by the in-depth discussion of this year’s Nude Olympics including the nude-specific rules for the running of the relay (hint: the baton must be wedged during the run and the hand-over is achieved by ‘backing in’ to the next runner.)

Equally controversial is Roy and HG advocating nudism as appropriate for this year’s Spring racing events where they claim the dress code for men now includes the option of not wearing trousers or, better yet, wearing nothing at all but a jaunty beret.

And then there’s on-going headache that is tennis star Nick Kyrgios and how his wiring might be faulty (as a scientist explained to Roy, “The brain is like a toaster, if it’s wired right, it works.”)

Yes, it’s been a week, an incredible week where too much sport was barely enough so tuck in probesters, punters, pilgrims and patriots and, enjoy!

Are you confused by what is the correct clobber to sport at big race events?

Do you want to learn how to win the fashion stakes when you step out to the track?

Then plug your ears in to this episode of The Sporting Probe for a swagful of style tips from the Kings of Couture, Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson. (Hint: Urban turbans are the hot accessory for women while men will love the backless suit concept.)

Speaking of horse races, the Everest event is looming and we now have a new design for the winner’s trophy involving Edmund Hilary in the arms of Sherpa Tensing who is sitting on a horse which is standing on the summit of Everest – it makes sense once you’ve heard Roy and HG explain it.

Plus find out how, “What are you looking at?” and, “I’ll see you in the carpark,” have become integral to the Aussie values that make our nation great.

If that’s not enough to whet your appetite you’ll also discover why Roy and HG are big Bitcoin investors. Ka-ching!

Probesters, if you only listen to one Sporting Probe podcast this year this is it.

Number one, it’s The Sporting Probe’s Grand Final Special.

Number two, it has everything – like probing, there’s lots and lots of probing.

And there’s patriotism – this episode is so patriotic you should stand to attention for the whole broadcast.

Plus there’s massive collects on the punt – whack the house on The Sporting Probe to win, punters.

In short, pilgrims, wander in the wasteland no longer – instead, join Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson in the Promised Land where too much sport is barely enough.

Probesters, can you answer these questions?

Who is Auto Alley’s Salesman of the Year?

Who wants to see Elton John present the Gold Logie at the Gold Coast Logies?

Who can peel a grape with his buttocks?

If you answered (1) Roy Slaven, (2) Roy Slaven and, (3) Roy Slaven then you have been paying attention to The Sporting Probe and would be a top chance of winning the Annual Sporting Probe Grand Final Quiz where first prize is two tickets to the AFL Grand Final at the MCG.

Interested? Salivating? Licking your lips in anticipation?

Good. Then get cracking if you live in Rhode Island or Perth or Brisbane because to win these two Grand Final tickets you must turn up to witness The Sporting Probe broadcasting live on September 30 from outside the MCG at 10am.

But please ENSURE you have studied this week and last week’s podcasts because that is where all the answers to the Annual Sporting Probe Grand Final Quiz can be found.

If you could give a rat’s arse about participating in the Quiz then just enjoy this podcast – it’s an absolute cracker.

Probesters, patriots, pilgrims and punters, do you want to attend the AFL Grand Final at the MCG?

Of course you do and this podcast could be your passport to two tickets to the great game.

Here’s how it works, sports fans:

Listen very closely to this week and next week’s podcasts and make sure you commit every detail to memory.

Turn up to the Triple M stage outside the MCG at 9am on Grand Final day.

Get chosen to be one of two contestants in The Annual Grand Final Sporting Probe Quiz.

Endure a nail biting, edge of seat contest as Rampaging Roy Slaven poses the questions and HG Nelson officiates while the nation listens in disbelief.

Get more questions correct than your opponent and, bingo! You and a partner will be waltzing through the turnstile at the MCG to witness the Grand Final.

It’s that easy: All answers to The Annual Grand Final Sporting Probe Quiz can only be found here so listen up and start winning.