Episode SummaryIn this episode, Jonathan interviews Heidi about her upcoming adventure—competing on Write or Flight, the first-ever reality TV show for memoir writers. Heidi shares how she was selected to join nine writers from around the world in Cusco, Peru, where they’ll live together, go on adventures, and compete in memoir-writing challenges.

More than a competition, this journey is about reclaiming joy, leaning into vulnerability, and stepping into a long-awaited adventure. Heidi opens up about overcoming imposter syndrome, the challenges of being on camera, and why this experience feels like a soul reclamation.

Key Takeaways

* What Write or Flight is and how Heidi got selected

* Why memoir writing is so personal and powerful

* The mindset shift from “winning” to embracing the journey

* How saying “yes” to adventure is changing Heidi’s story

* Letting go of validation and trusting your creative path

Related Episodes

* Episode 14: Faith and Dyslexia: Learning Differently, Living Fully

* Episode 13: When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing

Resources

* Write or Flight Reality Show

* The Memoir Engineering System: Make Your First Draft Your Final Draft by Wendy Dale

* Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals: Adventures in Love and Danger by Wendy Dale

* Heidi's Substack: @stayintheroom

Connect with UsEmail: [email protected]: @the_stayintheroompodcast

DisclaimerThis episode covers themes of vulnerability, creative risks, and personal transformation. Listener discretion advised.

Episode Summary:In this special family episode, we’re joined by our daughter Faith to talk candidly about her experience living—and thriving—with dyslexia. Faith shares what it was like to be diagnosed later in childhood, how it shaped her relationship with learning, and the emotional journey of navigating a world that often misunderstands invisible disabilities.

With honesty, humor, and insight beyond her years, Faith opens up about her academic struggles, what helped her fall in love with reading and writing, and how dyslexia shaped her empathy, creativity, and determination. This is a conversation for anyone supporting a neurodivergent child, navigating learning differences themselves, or simply seeking to understand how the brain can work differently—and brilliantly.

Key Takeaways

* What it feels like to grow up with an undiagnosed learning disability

* How getting identified with dyslexia brought relief, language, and direction

* Why audio books (“ear reading”) and tech tools are game-changers

* The emotional toll of feeling behind—and how to reframe that story

* How self-advocacy, humor, and creativity helped Faith reclaim her voice

* Why calling it a disability can be powerful, not shameful

* The importance of validation and support in a world that rewards conformity

Link Back to Previous Episodes:Episode 6: Demon Hunting: How Hyper-Vigilance Kept Us in Fear – Exploring fear-based systems and the pressure to perform

Episode 13: When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing – Creating safety and healing after being misunderstood

Resources & Mentions

* The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan by Ben Foss

* Speechify

Connect with Us:Email us: [email protected] on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcastShare your thoughts or submit questions for future episodes!

Disclaimer:This episode includes open conversations about invisible disabilities, neurodivergence, and educational challenges. Listener discretion is advised for those navigating sensitive experiences with learning differences.

Episode Summary

This episode goes deep. We’re joined by longtime friend, pastor, and adoption advocate Randy Bohlender for a raw and timely conversation about spiritual abuse, leadership failures, and how to keep your faith intact after being wounded by the church.

Randy brings both pastoral wisdom and personal reflection to the table as we talk about the difference between flawed leaders and dangerous ones—what it means to identify “wolves in the church,” and why some communities enable harmful behavior in the name of ministry success.

We explore hard questions about complicity, spiritual bypassing, and the fallout of trusting institutions more than the people they’re meant to serve. Randy shares candidly about his own journey of healing, growth, and learning to name what’s true—even when it’s painful.If you’ve ever wrestled with church hurt, spiritual disillusionment, or how to rebuild trust in faith spaces, this conversation is for you.

Key Takeaways

* How to spot spiritual abuse and power dynamics in church leadership

* Why good fruit doesn’t cancel out harmful roots

* The dangers of idolizing leaders and minimizing harm

* What it looks like to stay in the room without staying silent

* Steps toward healing when you’ve been hurt by the church

* The difference between agreement and validation in walking with others

 Link Back to Previous Episodes

Episode 6: Demon Hunting: How Hyper-Vigilance Kept Us in Fear – When fear masquerades as faith

Episode 2: The Partner’s Perspective – Heidi’s story of healing from relational and spiritual trauma

Links

Email us: [email protected]

Follow us on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast

Learn more about Zoe’s House Adoption Agency: Zoe’s House

Follow Randy on X: @RBohlender

Disclaimer

This episode includes honest discussions about spiritual abuse and church trauma. Listener discretion is advised. Side effects may include reflection, clarity, and a renewed desire for truth, accountability, and wholeness.

 Episode Summary In this honest and reflective episode, Heidi shares the story behind one of her most impactful breakups—her slow, quiet, and deeply personal decision to walk away from alcohol. What began as a memoir-style Substack article turns into a vulnerable conversation about what it means to examine a culturally accepted habit that no longer aligns with your values, health, or intuition.

Heidi discusses how drinking became a normalized part of adulthood, how it was used to numb stress and emotion, and how the “sober curious” movement offered a nonjudgmental space for change. She opens up about the subtle (but powerful) physical, emotional, and relational toll alcohol had on her life—and how listening to her body, nervous system, and inner wisdom ultimately led her to say goodbye.

Key Takeaways

* Why you don’t have to hit rock bottom to reevaluate your drinking

* How alcohol can dull intuition, increase stress, and create internal misalignment

* The social and emotional conditioning we carry around alcohol use

* The power of curiosity, body awareness, and truth-telling in healing

* What it means to be “Sunshine Sober” and live a more vibrant, present life

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

* Heidi’s essay on Substack: A Glass Half Empty – Leaving My Most Abusive Relationship

* This Naked Mind by Annie Grace

* The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober: Catherine Gray

* Brainspotting, breathwork, and nervous system regulation as healing tools

Connect with Us

Follow us on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast

Share your thoughts or submit questions for future episodes: [Submit Here]

Disclaimer: This episode includes sensitive discussions around substance use and emotional health. Listener discretion is advised.

Episode Summary:In this raw and relatable episode, we explore the dynamics of codependence, independence, and interdependence in relationships. Drawing from their 20+ years of marriage and personal recovery work, Jonathan and Heidi Mills unpack how codependent behaviors often stem from trauma, family systems, and social conditioning—especially for women of faith.This conversation is full of insight for anyone navigating relationship struggles, people-pleasing tendencies, or a loss of identity within partnership. With compassion and honesty, Jonathan and Heidi discuss how to reclaim your sense of self, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate true interdependence without swinging to hyper-independence.

What We Cover in This Episode:

* The origins of codependency and how it evolved beyond addiction recovery

* Signs of codependent behavior in marriage, parenting, friendships, and faith communities

* How trauma and family of origin shape our relational patterns

* The difference between codependence, independence, and interdependence, and interdependence

* Why truth-telling is essential for healing and deeper connection

* How codependency can hinder your partner’s growth and your own

* How to disrupt dysfunctional cycles with empathy, boundaries, and personal responsibility

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

* The Best of You by Dr. Alison Cook

Want to Connect?

Subscribe to our Substack for reflections, bonus content, and deeper insights:

Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcastSend us your questions or feedback at [email protected]

Final Thoughts:

If you’re feeling lost in your relationships, constantly over-functioning, or struggling to find your voice—this episode is for you. Recovery from codependence doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible. Learning to honor your true self is not selfish—it’s sacred. Thank you for staying in the room with us.

We’d Love to Hear from You!

What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments, send us an email, or DM us on Instagram—we love hearing from our listeners.

Episode Summary:

In this eye-opening episode, we dive into the complexities of neurodivergence with our guest, Rebecca Armstead. Rebecca shares her deeply personal journey of discovering her neurodivergence later in life and how it shaped her experiences, relationships, and career. We explore the impact of late diagnosis, the challenges of masking, and the importance of embracing one’s authentic self. Whether you’ve personally experienced neurodivergence or want to better understand and support those who have, this conversation is packed with valuable insights and wisdom.

What We Cover in This Episode:

* Rebecca’s personal journey of overcoming trauma and years of undiagnosed neurodivergence

* The experience of being diagnosed later in life and how that changed her perspective

* How masking neurodivergence, particularly in women, can lead to burnout and self-medicating behaviors

* The common misconceptions around ADHD, autism, and late-life diagnoses

* The importance of understanding neurodivergence in relationships and how partners can offer support

* Strategies for self-advocacy, emotional resilience, and building a fulfilling life while embracing neurodivergence

* The dangers of high-masking and the toll it takes on mental and emotional healthHow to navigate a neurodivergent diagnosis as an adult and where to seek support

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

* Rebecca’s Burnout Journal & Coloring Books – Available on AmazonFind

* Rebecca at Rise Leadership LLC

Want to Connect?

* Subscribe to our Substack for deeper insights, behind-the-scenes conversations, and extra content: [Join Us Here]

* Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcast

* Have a question or a topic you’d like us to explore?

* Send us a message at [email protected]—we’d love to hear from you!

Final Thoughts:

This episode sheds light on the often-overlooked challenges of late-diagnosed neurodivergence. Recovery, growth, and self-acceptance are possible, but it takes time, patience, and support. If you’re navigating neurodivergence, know that you are not alone. Thank you for staying in the room with us.

We’d Love to Hear from You!

What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments or send us a message—we love hearing from our listeners.

Episode Summary:

What happens when prayer alone isn’t enough? Coming from a charismatic faith background, we were taught that prayer could fix everything. But through life, loss, and healing, we’ve realized that transformation often requires more. In this episode, we explore the tension between faith and action, share our struggles with spiritual bypassing, and navigate the messy middle of reconstructing belief.

What We Cover in This Episode:

* How we were taught to believe prayer was the answer to everything

* The role of prayer in addiction and recovery

* Why deep healing requires more than just a spiritual approach

* The impact of deconstruction on our faith and beliefs

* Personal stories of grief, loss, and the shifting nature of faith

* How prayer was weaponized in healing and deliverance ministries

* The dangers of spiritual bypassing and minimizing real issues

* Learning to embrace uncertainty and faith in the messy middle

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

* Spiritual Bypassing – Episode 7

* Dr. Dan Allender – Thoughts on Wrestling with God

* Our Recovery Story – Episode 8

Want to Connect?

* Subscribe to our Substack for deeper insights, personal reflections, and community engagement: Join Us Here

* Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcast

* Have questions or thoughts? Drop us a message—we love hearing from you!

Final Thoughts:This episode is all about embracing the complexity of faith. We don't have all the answers, but we are committed to asking the hard questions, sharing our journey, and walking alongside those who are navigating similar struggles. Thank you for staying in the room with us.

We’d Love to Hear from You!What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments or send us a message—we love hearing from our listeners.

Episode Summary:

In this deeply personal episode, we finally share the story we’ve been alluding to over the past several episodes—our journey of recovery after betrayal. We open up about the hardest season of our marriage, the process we went through to heal, and what we learned along the way. This conversation isn’t about assigning blame or telling "our side" of the story; it’s about sharing the truth of what it took to rebuild trust, grow individually, and create a stronger, healthier marriage. If infidelity or betrayal is part of your story, please listen with care. This episode may bring up strong emotions, so take it at your own pace.

What We Cover in This Episode:

* The timeline of our betrayal and recovery process

* Understanding discovery day and the impact of drip disclosure

* The painful but necessary process of full therapeutic disclosure

* The role of truth and transparency in rebuilding trust

* Why safety is the first step in recovery

* The importance of accountability and consistent effort

* How we navigated minimizing, gaslighting, and self-protection

* How our healing journey led to post-traumatic growth

* The pivotal moment that changed everything

* What life looks like now on the other side of healing

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Dr. Jake Porter – Betrayal Trauma Resources

Dan Drake’s Intimacy Pyramid

Dr. Andrew Bauman – Interview on Episode 6

Want to Connect?

* Subscribe to our Substack for deeper insights, behind-the-scenes conversations, and extra content: Join Us Here

* Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcast

* Have a question or a topic you’d like us to explore? Send us a message—we’d love to hear from you!

Final Thoughts:

This episode is raw, vulnerable, and filled with hard-earned wisdom. Recovery is possible, but it requires deep work, commitment, and a willingness to face the truth. If you’re on this journey, you’re not alone. Healing takes time, but there is hope. Thank you for being here with us.

We’d Love to Hear from You!

What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments or send us a message—we love hearing from our listeners.

 Episode Summary

For years, we lived in a mindset where every struggle, every emotion, every obstacle had an enemy behind it. If something went wrong, we had to pray harder, fight spiritual battles, and stay on high alert. But here’s what we’ve learned—living in constant warfare mode isn’t freedom. It’s fear.

In this vulnerable episode, we dive into our personal experiences with deliverance ministry, the harm that hyper-vigilance caused in our lives, and how shifting away from “demon hunting” has changed everything. We open up about the raw and real pieces of our story—what led us to question this mindset, the emotional toll it took, and the peace we found when we stopped seeing an enemy around every corner.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in fear-based spirituality, if you’ve questioned whether deliverance culture is actually bringing freedom, or if you’re in the process of deconstructing hyper-vigilance in your own life—this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways

* How deliverance ministry shaped our worldview.

* The dangers of hyper-vigilance: When everything is spiritual warfare, nothing feels safe.

* The emotional and mental toll of constantly looking for an enemy.

* How we’ve shifted from fear-based spirituality to a more grounded, peaceful faith.

Link Back to Previous Episodes

* Episode 1: How Has Porn Affected Your Life? – Jonathan’s story of overcoming addiction and healing.

* Episode 5: Spiritual Bypassing: Why It’s Keeping You Stuck – Avoiding emotions by over-spiritualizing struggles.

Links

* Email us: [email protected].

* Accountable2You software: a2u.app/stayintheroom

* Follow us on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast.

* Share your thoughts or submit questions for future episodes!

Disclaimer

This episode may challenge deeply held beliefs. Side effects may include relief, self-reflection, and a sudden decrease in unnecessary spiritual battles. Listen with curiosity.

Episode Summary

For too long, the church has used forgiveness as a weapon—silencing victims, protecting abusers, and demanding reconciliation without accountability. And when it comes to God’s gender, why has the church clung so tightly to a masculine image? What’s at stake in how we see God?

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Dr. Andrew Bauman, therapist, advocate, and author of Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities. Together, we tackle the toxic theology of weaponized forgiveness, the deeply ingrained sexism within church culture, and how our view of God shapes power dynamics in faith communities.

This conversation is raw, unfiltered, and deeply challenging. But to build safe, healthy faith spaces, we must be willing to confront the hard truths.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of abuse and trauma in faith spaces. Listener discretion is advised.

Key Takeaways

* Weaponized forgiveness: How the church uses “forgiveness” to silence survivors.

* Is God a man? Why gendered theology matters more than you think.

* How sexism operates in faith spaces (and how to unlearn it).

* What ACTUALLY makes a church safe for the vulnerable?

About Our Guest

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is a licensed mental health counselor and Founder & Director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC). He holds a Doctorate from Northeastern University, where he researched the impact of sexism and abuse on women in the Protestant Church.

Books by Dr. Bauman:

* Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities (Newest Release)

* Other Works by Dr. Bauman

More from Dr. Bauman:

* Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma

* Dr. Bauman’s blog: The Healthy Man

* Follow Andrew on Social Media

Link Back to Previous Episodes

* Episode 5: Spiritual Bypassing: Why It’s Keeping You Stuck – How over-spiritualizing struggles keep us from real healing.

 Links

* Email us: [email protected].

* Accountable2You software: a2u.app/stayintheroom

* Follow us on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast.

* Subscribe on Substack!: https://substack.com/@stayintheroom

* Share your thoughts or submit questions for future episodes!