The Surviving Siblings®

On Episode 3 of Season 10 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler welcomes back Dr. Dawn DiRaimondo, psychologist, surviving sibling, author, and the very first guest to ever join Maya on the podcast.

Bringing Dawn back during Season 10 feels especially full circle. Maya first connected with Dawn during her fourth year of grief after reading her book, Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread That Connects Us Through Life and Death. At the time, Maya was beginning to think about how she could share her own story and eventually create a space for other surviving siblings to share theirs, too.

Dawn became an important resource as Maya navigated how to approach conversations involving grief, trauma, and mental health responsibly, and those early conversations helped shape what The Surviving Siblings Podcast® would eventually become.

Now, nearly 100 episodes later, Maya brings Dawn back for a conversation centered around one of the topics she hears about most often from surviving siblings: therapy.

What if you tried therapy and it didn't work? How do you know whether you're ready? How do you find someone who truly understands grief and sibling loss? And how do you know when a therapist simply isn't the right fit?

Maya and Dawn discuss what to look for in a grief therapist, red flags that may signal someone isn't the right fit, what a healthy therapeutic relationship can actually feel like, and why finding a therapist can sometimes feel a little like dating—you may need to meet more than one person before finding someone you feel safe with.

The conversation also expands beyond traditional talk therapy into trauma-focused modalities, medication, affordability, community support, and the different resources that may become part of someone's grief support system over time.

Most importantly, Dawn reminds surviving siblings that one difficult experience with therapy doesn't mean therapy itself cannot help. The right therapist should provide a space where you can tell your story, say your sibling's name, talk about the complicated parts of your grief, and move at a pace that feels safe for you.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Welcoming Back The Podcast's First-Ever Guest Maya welcomes Dr. Dawn DiRaimondo back to The Surviving Siblings Podcast® and reflects on the significance of bringing her first-ever guest back during Season 10.

(0:02:00) – How Maya + Dawn First Connected Maya shares how reading Dawn's book during her fourth year of grief led her to reach out and how their relationship became part of the early foundation of the podcast.

(0:04:00) – Being Ready to Tell Your Sibling's Story Dawn and Maya revisit their early conversations about interviewing surviving siblings and why giving someone time to process their loss before publicly telling their story matters.

(0:07:00) – How Sibling Grief Resources Have Changed Dawn reflects on losing her brother Michael in 2004 and how few resources existed specifically for surviving siblings compared with the books, podcasts, communities, workshops, and support available today.

(0:18:00) – Am I Ready for Therapy? Dawn addresses the fear surrounding that first appointment and why finding the right therapist may matter more than determining whether you are perfectly "ready."

(0:19:00) – Finding a Therapist Who Understands Grief Dawn shares practical advice for searching for someone who specializes in grief, loss, and bereavement and explains why specialty and experience can make a significant difference.

(0:20:00) – Therapy Red Flags After Sibling Loss Maya and Dawn discuss why comments about needing to "move on" or talking about your sibling too much can be signs that a therapist may not understand significant grief.

(0:29:00) – Finding a Therapist Can Feel Like Dating Why your first therapist doesn't have to be your forever therapist and why meeting with two or three different providers can help you find someone you genuinely connect with.

(0:41:00) – What Should You Expect From Grief Therapy? Dawn explains why grief therapy usually isn't a quick fix and how conversations may include your relationship with your sibling, your family dynamics, your emotions, your daily functioning, and the future you expected to share.

(0:42:00) – Losing Your Past, Present + Future Maya and Dawn discuss why sibling loss can affect identity so deeply when the person you lost shared your childhood, existed in your present, and was supposed to remain part of your future.

(0:46:00) – Talk Therapy, EMDR + Trauma Treatment Dawn introduces trauma-focused modalities and explains why some grieving people may benefit from additional trauma treatment beyond traditional talk therapy.

(0:49:00) – Timing Matters With Trauma Work Maya and Dawn discuss why being ready to talk with a therapist isn't necessarily the same as being ready for deeper trauma processing and why those treatments should be approached thoughtfully.

(1:02:00) – What If the First Therapist Doesn't Work Out? Dawn reminds listeners that it may take more than one attempt to find the right therapist—and that finding the right support can still be worth the search.

(1:03:00) – Other Places to Find Grief Therapy Referrals Insurance directories, grief organizations, hospice programs, doctors, support communities, and personal referrals can all provide additional starting points.

(1:13:00) – What's Next for The Surviving Siblings Podcast® Maya shares why Season 10 is intentionally expanding beyond traditional storytelling to include more education, tools, experts, and resources for surviving siblings.

(1:18:00) – Dawn's Book: Surviving Sibling Loss Dawn shares more about Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread That Connects Us Through Life and Death, the surviving siblings whose stories are included, and the practical resources she incorporated into the book.

Connect with Dawn:

• Book – Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread That Connects Us Through Life and Death: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1977228836

• Website: https://drdawndiraimondo.com

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter/X: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: https://www.thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivingsiblingspodcast

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/thesurvivingsiblingspodcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 2 of Season 10, In this special episode of The Surviving Siblings® Podcast, host Maya Roffler sits down to reflect on one of the most emotionally complicated milestones she has faced since losing her brother Andreas: turning 40 while approaching the 10th anniversary of his death.

But Maya's birthday carries another layer that makes this milestone especially significant. Maya and Andreas shared the same birthday. They weren't twins. They were three years apart, born on the exact same day after remarkably even sharing the same due date. For most of Maya's life, her birthday was never entirely hers—it belonged to both of them.

Now, Maya continues getting older while Andreas remains forever 27.

As she prepares to turn 40, Maya opens up about what it feels like to enter an entirely new decade of her life without her brother physically here to experience it with her. She shares why birthdays have often become even more difficult for her than Andreas' death anniversary, how milestone years can unexpectedly bring grief back to the surface, and why no two birthdays—or grief anniversaries—feel exactly the same.

Turning 40 carries an additional emotional weight because Maya's last milestone birthday was her 30th.

Exactly two months later, Andreas was murdered.

The conversation also goes beyond Andreas' physical absence and into one of the less-discussed realities of sibling loss: secondary loss within the family.

Maya also discusses the difference between "moving on" and "moving forward"—a distinction that has become foundational to the way she talks about grief.

For her 40th, she decided to travel to Thailand and Korea—a trip intentionally chosen both for herself and as a way to feel connected to Andreas. Andreas identified as Buddhist and had a deep interest in Asian culture, while his girlfriend was Korean. Maya shares why visiting Thailand, experiencing Buddhist temples, traveling through Korea, and exploring places she has always wanted to see felt like the right way to honor both of them during such an important year.

So when a sibling's birthday, death anniversary, or another milestone arrives, the question doesn't necessarily have to be, "What would they want me to do?"

It can also be: "What will make me feel close to them?"

For Maya, sometimes that means traveling.

This episode is an intimate reflection on birthdays after sibling loss, milestone grief, complicated family dynamics, continuing bonds, and what it really means to build a life that makes room for both the sibling who died and the person you are still becoming.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – A Special Birthday Episode + 10 Years Without Andreas Maya introduces this solo episode as she approaches both her 40th birthday and the 10th anniversary year of Andreas' homicide—and shares what makes their birthday particularly meaningful: they were born on the same day, three years apart.

(0:03:00) – Why Some Birthdays Hit Harder Than Others Maya reflects on how grief changes from year to year and why milestone birthdays, anniversaries, and seemingly ordinary years can bring unexpected emotions to the surface.

(0:08:00) – Turning 40 After What Happened At 30 Why this milestone birthday carries anxiety for Maya after Andreas was murdered exactly two months after she turned 30.

(0:10:00) – Entering A New Decade Without Her Brother Maya reflects on the emotional realization that she physically knew Andreas throughout her 30s—but will now enter her 40s without him.

(0:11:00) – Family Division + The Secondary Losses Of Grief Nearly a decade after Andreas' death, Maya opens up about ongoing family dysfunction, fractured relationships, and grieving the family closeness she once hoped would come from their loss.

(0:13:00) – When Loss Doesn't Bring A Family Together Maya remembers asking her mother, as the family matriarch, whether Andreas' death would tear their family further apart or become an opportunity to come together—and reflects on the heartbreak of how differently things unfolded.

(0:16:00) – Moving Forward Is Not Moving On Maya explains why she will never "move on" from Andreas but believes deeply that surviving siblings can learn how to move forward while continuing to carry their sibling with them.

(0:22:00) – Finding The Support That Works For You From therapy and grief coaching to support groups and community, Maya encourages surviving siblings to explore the tools that can help them build a future and learn how to carry their grief.

(0:24:00) – Holding Pain + Joy At The Same Time One of Maya's biggest lessons from grief: sadness and happiness, laughter and pain, missing someone and continuing to live can all exist simultaneously.

(0:26:00) – Grieving The Family You Thought You Would Have Maya discusses accepting where family relationships are today, preserving her own peace, and releasing the expectation that everyone will eventually grieve or heal together.

(0:28:00) – Why Maya Chose Thailand + Korea For Her 40th Maya shares the meaning behind her milestone birthday trip and how Andreas' spirituality, interests, relationships, and love of travel influenced her decision.

(0:30:00) – Who Are Our Grief Rituals Really For? Maya explores the mindset shift that changed the way she approaches birthdays and anniversaries: honoring your sibling can also mean creating an experience that helps you feel connected to them.

(0:35:00) – Growing Older While Andreas Stays 27 Maya reflects on the strange reality of once being only three years older than her brother and now turning 40 while Andreas remains forever 27.

(0:37:00) – Maya's Death Anniversary Ritual For Andreas From sunflowers and champagne to his favorite hometown food and time beside the creek where some of his ashes were scattered, Maya shares the traditions she has created to remain connected to her brother.

(0:42:00) – The Story Behind Maya + Andreas' Shared Birthday From sharing the same due date and arriving two weeks late to childhood birthday parties and their physical similarities, Maya shares the details that make their shared birthday and bond so special to her.

(0:44:00) – The Little Things That Keep Our Siblings Close Why Maya continues wearing her hair dark as a connection to Andreas and how seemingly small choices can become meaningful continuing bonds after sibling loss.

(0:45:00) – Honoring Your Sibling In A Way That Honors You Too Maya closes by encouraging surviving siblings to find their own ways of approaching birthdays and anniversaries—not based on what they think they should do, but on what genuinely helps them feel close to their sibling.

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter/X: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: https://www.thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivingsiblingspodcast

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/thesurvivingsiblingspodcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 1 of Season 10 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Lenny Hunt, a grief coach, life coach, bereaved father, and longtime advocate within the grief community, who shares the story of losing his two sons, Dawson and Devin, and how his own experience with devastating loss eventually led him to helping others learn how to carry their grief forward.

This episode marks a first for The Surviving Siblings Podcast®.

After nine seasons centered around the voices and experiences of bereaved siblings, Lenny joins Maya as the first guest who is not a surviving sibling himself. But as a father who lost two sons who were also brothers, and as someone who has spent years supporting grieving people—including surviving siblings—his perspective opens an important conversation about grief from another side of the family.

Lenny takes us back to 2011, when Dawson was 12 and Devin was nine.

What began as an ordinary father-son day spent geocaching became the day that changed everything. Dawson hadn't originally wanted to go, but Lenny and Devin convinced him to come along. After finding four geocaches together, they were driving home when Dawson thanked his dad for making him come, telling him he had actually had a really good time.

Lenny turned around. They looked at each other. They smiled.

Both Dawson and Devin died in the accident.

Lenny and Maya explore how creative expression can become part of processing grief—whether through music, writing, art, podcasting, social media, or another outlet entirely.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Welcome to Season 10 + Meet Lenny Hunt Maya opens Season 10 on the 10th anniversary year of her brother's death and introduces Lenny as the first non-surviving sibling guest on the podcast.

(0:03:00) – Remembering Dawson + Devin Lenny introduces his sons, Dawson and Devin, and shares the story of the father-son geocaching day that would become one of their final memories together.

(0:06:00) – The Accident That Changed Everything Lenny shares the quiet final exchange he had with Dawson moments before the vehicle accident that took both of his sons' lives.

(0:08:00) – Is the First or Second Year of Grief Harder? Maya and Lenny discuss why grief timelines are deeply personal and why the reality of loss can sometimes become even more tangible in the years after the initial shock.

(0:12:00) – Grief Counseling vs. Grief Coaching Lenny explains the difference between the two forms of support and how grief coaching can help someone begin looking toward what comes next.

(0:15:00) – What Is "Good Grief"? Lenny introduces his approach to grief and explains how memories, stories, and meaningful moments can coexist alongside the pain of loss.

(0:18:00) – Holding the Good + Hard at the Same Time Maya and Lenny discuss why finding moments of joy doesn't erase grief—and why grief doesn't have to mean abandoning every possibility of happiness.

(0:22:00) – When You're Ready to Participate in Your Own Healing An honest conversation about readiness, reaching for support, and why grief coaching may not be the right tool for every person at every stage.

(0:27:00) – Why Grief Isn't a "Journey" Lenny explains why he prefers to think of grief as an ongoing process of learning how to carry loss rather than a journey with a defined ending.

(0:29:00) – Lenny's Life After Losing His Boys From leaving his former life behind to moving states, meeting his wife, and becoming part of a new family, Lenny shares pieces of the rebuilding that eventually followed his loss.

(0:31:00) – The TikTok Video That Changed Everything How one vulnerable video about missing Dawson and Devin connected with other grieving people and showed Lenny that his voice could help others feel understood.

(0:33:00) – Becoming a Grief Coach Lenny shares how his background as a pastor and teacher influenced his coaching style and why he uses analogies, activities, art, object lessons, and creative exercises in his grief work.

(0:35:00) – The Good Grief Summit Lenny introduces the Good Grief Summit and its focus on helping people explore creative, healthy ways to process and express loss.

(0:37:00) – Creativity as a Tool for Grief From Maya's podcasting to music, writing, storytelling, and social media, Maya and Lenny discuss how creating something can become both an outlet for grief and a way of honoring the person who died.

Connect with Lenny:

• Good Grief Summit: https://the-good-grief-group.circle.so/goodgriefsummit2026

• Coaching with Lenny: https://lennyhuntcoaching.com/

• The Good Grief Group: https://lennyhuntcoaching.com/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thelennyhunt

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter/X: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: https://www.thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesurvivingsiblingspodcast

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/thesurvivingsiblingspodcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 10 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Emily O'Brien, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her brother Pete to a rare and devastating case of encephalitis that developed from what initially seemed like a simple ear infection.

Emily takes us back to her childhood growing up in Michigan with her only sibling, Pete. Just 28 months apart, the two shared a bond that went far beyond a typical brother-sister relationship. They were inseparable throughout childhood, growing up side by side, sharing friends, adventures, milestones, and a connection they both described as being soulmates.

As children, Emily was known as Pete's little sister—but she was also adopted by his entire friend group as their little sister too. Whether they were together constantly or navigating the occasional sibling disagreements that come with growing up, there was never any question about the depth of their connection. As they entered adulthood, that bond only grew stronger.

Pete was the kind of person people gravitated toward.

A bartender and server by trade, he had a rare ability to make anyone feel important. Whether you knew him for twenty years or twenty minutes, Pete had a way of making people feel seen, heard, and valued. His charisma, kindness, and genuine interest in others left a lasting impact on nearly everyone he met. Then, in March 2020, everything changed.

As the world was beginning to shut down due to COVID-19, Pete developed what seemed like a routine ear infection. Because he lacked health insurance and was already carrying significant medical debt from a previous surgery, he delayed seeking treatment.

What no one could have known was that the infection was quietly becoming something far more serious. Within hours, the infection spread from his ear into the bones of his inner ear, eventually reaching his brain stem and causing encephalitis—a severe inflammation of the brain. By the time Pete arrived at the hospital, his body was already in sepsis.

The next morning, she was receiving calls that would change her life forever.

Emily shares the shock of learning that Pete had no measurable brain activity, the surreal experience of spending four days in the hospital during the earliest days of COVID, and the emotional complexity of navigating organ donation while trying to comprehend what had happened.

As family, friends, coworkers, and complete strangers poured into the hospital to share stories about Pete, Emily began to understand just how many lives her brother had touched. Yet despite the outpouring of love, Emily found herself stepping into a role many surviving siblings know all too well: becoming the one who holds everyone else together. She opens up about spending years carrying the weight of everyone else's grief while neglecting her own, throwing herself into creating a nonprofit in Pete's honor, raising a young child, working through the pandemic, and doing everything possible to avoid fully feeling the depth of her loss.

What followed was a period she describes as becoming "the walking dead"—going through the motions of life while feeling emotionally disconnected from everything around her.

This episode explores sibling soulmates, anticipatory grief, organ donation, complicated family dynamics, spiritual connection after loss, and the reality that healing doesn't mean leaving your sibling behind—it means learning how to carry them forward.

Most of all, it's a reminder that even after unimaginable loss, it is still possible to choose life.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Emily + Remembering Pete Emily introduces her relationship with her older brother and the soulmate-like bond they shared throughout their lives.

(0:02:00) – Growing Up Inseparable Childhood memories, shared friendships, and being known as "Pete's little sister."

(0:04:00) – A Bond That Strengthened With Age How distance during college ultimately deepened their connection.

(0:05:00) – Moving to Florida Together Emily helps Pete leave behind a difficult chapter and start fresh near family.

(0:13:00) – Who Pete Was Remembering Pete's charisma, kindness, and ability to connect with anyone he met.

(0:15:00) – Substance Use + Struggles Behind the Scenes The challenges Pete faced while still showing the world his bright personality.

(0:20:00) – The Beginning of COVID The final conversation Emily had with Pete during the first days of the pandemic.

(0:23:00) – The Phone Calls Learning Pete had been rushed to the hospital and trying to understand what was happening.

(0:29:00) – A Rare Medical Emergency How a simple ear infection turned into encephalitis and severe brain swelling.

(0:31:00) – From Ear Infection to Brain Death The shocking reality of how quickly Pete's condition deteriorated.

(0:36:00) – Organ Donation During COVID Navigating hospital restrictions, waiting periods, and Pete's life-saving gift to others.

(0:39:00) – The Stories People Shared Hearing from friends, coworkers, and strangers whose lives Pete impacted.

(0:44:00) – Living As "The Walking Dead" Years of emotional numbness, survival mode, and delayed grief.

(0:47:00) – Dreams, Signs, and Spiritual Connection How Emily's ongoing relationship with Pete helped guide her healing.

(0:50:00) – Choosing Life Again Therapy, transformation, and rebuilding a life that felt authentic after loss.

(0:56:00) – Advice for Newly Bereaved Siblings Why it's okay not to be okay—and why finding people who truly understand matters.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®.

Connect with Emily:

Email: [email protected]

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 9 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Sarah, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her older brother Joel in a tragic motorcycle accident after years of struggling with mental health, addiction, and life on the edge.

Sarah takes us back to her childhood growing up in Kingston, Washington, a small town surrounded by nature, ferries, dirt bikes, and the kind of freedom that defined a typical '90s childhood. Joel was two years older than her, and from the very beginning, she was chasing after him—rollerblading behind the bikes, following him into adventures, and looking up to the older brother who always seemed fearless. Their childhood was full of camping trips, exploring the Pacific Northwest, and spending long days outside together. Joel loved BMX riding, dirt bikes, and adrenaline-fueled hobbies that would continue shaping much of his life into adulthood. But as they entered their teenage years, everything shifted.

After their parents' divorce, the family dynamic completely fractured. Sarah moved to Virginia with their mother while Joel returned to Washington with their father. What followed was nearly a decade of separation during some of the most formative years of their lives. During that time, Joel began struggling deeply.

What started as partying and rebellion in middle school quickly escalated into legal trouble, drug use, instability, and involvement with the juvenile justice system. By 16, Joel had become a father himself—growing up far too quickly while still trying to survive his own pain. Sarah shares what it was like watching her brother's life unfold from across the country—feeling disconnected, worried, and unable to fully understand the depth of what he was carrying at such a young age.

When Sarah eventually moved back to Washington as a teenager, their relationship transformed. Without years of typical sibling rivalry, they found themselves reconnecting more as friends than anything else. Joel welcomed her into his world, introducing her to the friends who would later become lifelong connections for her too.

Years later, after Sarah returned to Washington again to start a family of her own, she and Joel finally got back the time they had missed. Holidays, barbecues, late-night conversations, and everyday moments slowly rebuilt the sibling bond they had always wanted.

And then, in March 2022, everything changed.

Sarah opens up about the loneliness that came after Joel's death—the lack of parental support, the confusion of grieving differently than the people around her, and the overwhelming responsibility of organizing Joel's cremation and memorial almost entirely on her own. From writing the obituary and creating the memorial slideshow to officiating his service herself, Sarah carried the emotional and logistical weight of honoring Joel while barely holding herself together.

She also shares the darker realities of grief that many surviving siblings quietly experience: depression, isolation, suicidal ideation, anger, and the deep ache of feeling abandoned not only by loss… but by the people who are supposed to help carry it with you. As the conversation unfolds, Sarah reflects on what ultimately helped her begin healing—finding the right therapist, joining the Surviving Siblings community, and realizing she no longer had to carry her grief entirely alone.

One of the most powerful moments of the episode comes as Sarah shares how, four years after Joel's death, she finally honored him in the way she had always wanted to. Through a memorial ferry release in Washington State, surrounded by family and flowers, she released Joel's ashes into the water during a quiet sunrise ceremony that brought both grief and peace together in the same moment.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Sarah + Remembering Joel Sarah shares her childhood growing up with her older brother in Washington State and their adventurous '90s upbringing.

(0:03:00) – Divorce + Family Separation How their parents' divorce split the family apart and separated the siblings for nearly a decade.

(0:05:00) – Early Trouble + Addiction Joel's struggles with rebellion, legal trouble, and substance use beginning in middle school.

(0:06:00) – Becoming a Father at 16 How Joel's life changed dramatically after becoming a teenage parent.

(0:10:00) – Reconnecting as Adults Sarah moves back to Washington and finally begins rebuilding a close relationship with Joel.

(0:15:00) – Becoming Family Again How holidays, barbecues, and everyday moments helped them reconnect after years apart.

(0:20:00) – The Day Everything Changed Sarah receives the phone call that Joel had died in a motorcycle accident.

(0:21:00) – The Motorcycle Crash What happened during the police pursuit on Interstate 5 and the tragic collision that ended Joel's life.

(0:26:00) – Not Seeing Him + Delayed Goodbye The emotional reality of not viewing Joel's body and waiting weeks for his cremation process.

(0:31:00) – Planning the Funeral Alone How Sarah organized Joel's cremation and memorial service while grieving deeply herself.

(0:43:00) – Finding Support Through Community How therapy and the Surviving Siblings community became part of Sarah's healing journey.

(0:48:00) – Releasing Joel's Ashes The emotional ferry memorial ceremony that helped Sarah finally honor her brother in the way she always envisioned.

(0:52:00) – Final Reflections on Grief + Survival Why grief is cyclical, why their story continues through us, and the importance of asking for help.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Sarah:

• Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/Mompadthai1

• Email: [email protected]

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 8 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Val Lentini, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her brother Andreas—"Andy"—to a tragic skateboarding accident just weeks after one of the most meaningful milestones they shared together.

Val takes us back to her childhood growing up with her only sibling, her younger brother Andy. Just two years apart, they spent nearly every stage of life side by side—attending the same schools, sharing activities, and building a bond rooted in both friendship and family. From basement hangouts and childhood games to navigating life milestones together, Andy wasn't just her brother—he was part of nearly every memory she holds from growing up.

Their relationship was filled with the kind of closeness that comes from shared experiences, and even as life shifted into adulthood, that connection remained.

Just as life was opening up into a new chapter, everything changed.

Andy was out longboarding—something he loved and did often. A seemingly normal moment turned tragic when he fell and suffered a severe brain injury. What followed was a rapid and devastating series of events—hospitalization, life support, and ultimately, the unthinkable decision to say goodbye.

Val shares the shock of receiving the call, the urgency of rushing to the hospital, and the surreal experience of hearing medical terminology that didn't match what felt like a "simple fall." She opens up about the confusion, the unanswered questions, and the emotional weight of being in a position where decisions had to be made quickly, without time to process what was happening. She also reflects on the moments that followed—walking out of the hospital without her brother, navigating the immediate aftermath, and the strange, disorienting reality of life continuing while everything felt completely changed.

From eating at a fast-food restaurant just hours after losing him, to returning to clinical rotations and stepping back into "normal life" far too quickly, Val shares the layers of shock, survival, and delayed grief that followed Andy's passing. As the conversation unfolds, Val speaks to the deeper layers of grief—the loss of identity, the process of becoming someone new, and the reality that grief doesn't just take a person—it reshapes your entire life.

This episode is a reminder that while we may never fully "heal" from losing a sibling.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Val + Remembering Andreas ("Andy") Val introduces her relationship with her younger brother and their deeply connected upbringing.

(0:02:00) – Growing Up Side by Side Sharing schools, activities, and nearly every stage of life together.

(0:06:00) – College + Staying Connected Navigating time apart and the meaningful experience of attending the same university.

(0:17:00) – The Day Everything Changed The longboarding accident and the sudden shift into crisis.

(0:20:00) – Hospital + Medical Reality Processing complex injuries, brain trauma, and the reality of the situation.

(0:22:00) – Saying Goodbye Navigating life support, brain death, and the unimaginable decision.

(0:33:00) – Walking Out of the Hospital The surreal experience of leaving without him and facing the outside world.

(0:37:00) – Life Continues Too Fast Returning to clinical rotations, career transitions, and suppressed grief.

(0:40:00) – Losing Yourself + Becoming Someone New How grief reshapes identity and forces personal transformation.

(0:43:00) – Carrying Andy Forward Adopting his mindset and keeping his presence alive in everyday life.

(0:47:00) – Sitting With Others in Grief Why presence matters more than words—and how to support someone grieving.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Val:

• Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valerielentine22

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 7 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Kara Leigh, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her brother Brandon after a long battle with addiction—and the unexpected reality of learning his official cause of death was emphysema.

Kara takes us back to her childhood growing up in a family of three siblings, where Brandon was her older brother and she fell right in the middle. Their early years were filled with opportunity, family vacations, and a life that, on the outside, looked stable and full.

But underneath it all…there were early signs of something deeper. Brandon began using substances at a very young age—long before the family fully understood what they were facing. What started as experimentation quickly escalated into addiction, creating tension, instability, and emotional strain within the household.

Kara shares what it was like growing up alongside addiction—navigating fear, unpredictability, and the weight of trying to protect both herself and her family. From cleaning up messes to stepping into a role of responsibility far too young, her childhood and teenage years were shaped by survival as much as they were by love.

As they moved into adulthood, their relationship became a cycle many siblings of addiction understand deeply: connection… distance… hope… heartbreak.

In January 2022, Kara's life changed forever.

She didn't receive a phone call from family. She didn't hear it from authorities. She found out her brother had died… through Facebook. What followed was chaos, confusion, and a desperate search for answers—trying to piece together what had happened, where Brandon was, and why no one had contacted the family directly.

The initial assumption was what many feared: overdose. But nearly a year later, after waiting for the autopsy results, Kara learned something unexpected. Brandon's official cause of death was emphysema—not overdose—despite substances being present in his system.

This revelation brought a different kind of grief. A different kind of processing.

And a deeper reflection on how addiction had impacted his life… without being the final cause.

Kara opens up about the complexity of losing a sibling to addiction—the guilt, the boundaries, the "what if" questions—and what it means to love someone deeply while also protecting yourself.

She shares her journey through therapy, writing, and healing… including beginning a book to honor Brandon not just for his struggles, but for who he truly was as a person.

This episode also explores the emotional weight of reading an autopsy report, the reality of delayed answers, and the layers of grief that come with unexpected twists in loss.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Kara + Remembering Brandon Kara introduces her family dynamic, growing up with her older brother and younger sister.

(0:02:00) – Early Addiction + Family Impact How Brandon's substance use began young and quickly affected the entire household.

(0:05:00) – Growing Up Around Instability Navigating fear, tension, and survival in a home impacted by addiction.

(0:07:00) – Taking on Responsibility Too Young Kara reflects on stepping into a caretaker role and protecting herself.

(0:10:00) – Adulthood + Cycles of Addiction The ongoing pattern of hope, relapse, and trying to maintain boundaries.

(0:15:00) – The Complexity of Loving an Addicted Sibling Balancing tough love, boundaries, and deep care.

(0:24:00) – The Night Everything Changed Kara shares the moment she learned of Brandon's death—through Facebook.

(0:30:00) – Waiting for the Autopsy The emotional toll of waiting nearly a year for official answers.

(0:33:00) – The Truth About Brandon's Death Learning his cause of death was emphysema—not overdose—and what that meant.

(0:42:00) – Remembering the Whole Person Why it's important to honor both the struggles and the goodness of someone's life.

(0:48:00) – Grief Isn't Linear Breaking down myths around grief and what it really looks like over time.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Kara:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karafitzluss?igsh=OHI2dXB5dXhqZmlj

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/14NS2Hpn4no/

• Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@karaleighlussier?_r=1&_t=ZS-91tnLBADBDe

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 6 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Teri Gosselin, a surviving sibling, speaker, and grief advocate, who shares the story of losing her brother Joey to complications related to Marfan Syndrome—and how that loss forever intertwined grief, love, family, and purpose in her life.

Teri takes us back to her childhood growing up just outside of Washington, DC, where she was the oldest of three. From the moment Joey was born, she stepped into the role of protector, advocate, and "sissy"—completely devoted to her little brother. Their family life was full of connection, neighborhood friendships, and what felt like a normal, loving upbringing.

But early on, their story took a different path.

When Joey was just a toddler, subtle signs led to a life-changing diagnosis: Marfan Syndrome, a rare genetic connective tissue disorder that would go on to impact not only Joey, but their father and sister as well.

Teri shares what it was like growing up in a family navigating a condition few people understood at the time—doctor visits, unknowns, and the quiet weight of knowing that life could look different for the people she loved most.

Still, Joey was more than his diagnosis.

He was tall, eventually reaching seven feet, funny, annoying in all the "little brother" ways, and someone Teri grew closer to as they entered adulthood. Just as their relationship was deepening into something new, everything changed.

In May 2008, Joey died suddenly in his sleep at just 22 years old.

The loss was completely unexpected.

And even more complicated… it happened just three weeks before Teri's wedding.

Teri shares the unimaginable reality of those weeks—receiving the phone call at work, the shock of not being able to reach her family, and the moment her father told her Joey was gone. She walks us through the early days of grief layered with urgency, milestones, and pressure to move forward, including planning a wedding while mourning her brother.

She opens up about walking down the same aisle where she had just walked behind Joey's casket… now as a bride.

About honoring him in quiet, meaningful ways. About holding grief and joy in the same space.

And about how that experience reshaped everything she thought she knew about life.

This episode also brings powerful awareness to Marfan Syndrome—what it is, how it impacts the body, and why education and early diagnosis matter.

As the conversation unfolds, Teri shares how her relationship with Joey didn't end—it transformed. Through healing, spirituality, and time, she's come to understand grief and joy as deeply connected experiences, not separate ones.

This episode is a reminder that loss doesn't just break us—it can deepen us.

That grief and joy can exist together. And that love doesn't end… even when life does.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Teri + Remembering Joey Teri introduces her family, her role as the oldest sibling, and her deep bond with her brother Joey.

(0:02:00) – Growing Up + Early Signs of Marfan Syndrome How Joey's diagnosis came to light and how it impacted the entire family.

(0:05:00) – A Family Diagnosis Learning that her father and sister also had Marfan Syndrome—and navigating the unknowns together.

(0:08:00) – The "Strong One" Role How Teri stepped into being the protector and advocate within her family.

(0:09:30) – Adulthood + Deepening the Sibling Bond Moving beyond childhood dynamics and beginning to build a closer adult relationship.

(0:15:00) – The Day Everything Changed The phone call, the unanswered calls, and the moment Teri learned Joey had died.

(0:18:00) – Sudden Loss + Searching for Answers Understanding Joey's passing and the connection to Marfan Syndrome.

(0:20:00) – Grief + Wedding Intertwined Navigating loss just three weeks before her wedding—and the pressure to move forward.

(0:23:00) – Honoring Joey Meaningful ways Teri included her brother in her wedding day.

(0:25:00) – Walking the Same Aisle The emotional weight of walking down the same aisle as both a grieving sister and a bride.

(0:28:00) – Grief + Joy Coexisting How loss reshaped her perspective and deepened her understanding of life.

(0:30:00) – Spiritual Connection + Signs How Teri experiences connection with Joey today, including meaningful signs and moments.

(0:40:00) – Family Dynamics After Loss How grief impacted her relationship with her sister and family—and what helped them stay close.

(0:50:00) – Being "The Strong One" What it really means—and how to release the pressure while still showing up with strength.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Teri:

• Website: https://www.soulglowandalchemy.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulglowandalchemy

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teri.m.gosselin

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 5 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Dr. Heather Taylor, a surviving sibling, therapist, and grief advocate, who shares the story of losing her brother, Garrett, to an accidental overdose, and how that loss completely reshaped her life, her career, and her mission in the grief space.

Heather takes us back to her childhood growing up in a small town in Washington State, where she and her younger brother Garrett were raised surrounded by nature, imagination, and a deep sibling bond. They were each other's constant—playing outside, competing in sports, and later maintaining a close relationship into adulthood through what she lovingly calls their "sibling dates." Garrett was her biggest champion, the voice that reminded her who she was when she doubted herself.

That bond makes what happened next even more devastating.

In November 2009, just one month after a meaningful late-night conversation where Heather reminded Garrett she would love him no matter what, her world shattered. Garrett died suddenly from an accidental overdose after unknowingly taking methadone in combination with other substances. The loss was shocking, confusing, and layered with complicated emotions, especially as the family tried to make sense of what had happened in real time.

Heather shares the raw early days of grief—the shock, the numbness, the need to "do something" (even if that meant cutting out holiday apron patterns just to keep moving), and the surreal experience of planning a memorial while still trying to process the reality that her brother was gone.

What followed was years of unprocessed grief, anger, and searching for support that didn't exist in the way she needed. After multiple frustrating experiences trying to find a therapist who truly understood grief, Heather made a life-changing decision: she would become the therapist she couldn't find.

This episode is a powerful reminder that grief is not something to "get over," but something to live with, integrate, and carry forward—and that healing happens not by rushing the process, but by allowing grief to take up space in our lives.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Heather + Remembering Garrett Heather shares her childhood, growing up close with her younger brother, and the deep bond they carried into adulthood.

(0:02:30) – Growing Up in Nature + A Strong Sibling Bond From building forts in the woods to sibling dates in college, Heather reflects on their connection and Garrett's role as her biggest supporter.

(0:08:30) – The Conversation A late-night moment one month before Garrett's death becomes a memory Heather carries with her forever.

(0:10:00) – The Day Everything Changed Heather describes the moment her parents showed up at her office and how she learned Garrett had died unexpectedly.

(0:13:00) – Understanding What Happened The family learns Garrett died from an accidental overdose, adding layers of confusion, anger, and heartbreak.

(0:16:00) – Shock, Numbness, and "Doing Something" Heather shares how early grief felt—and why simple tasks like making aprons became a way to cope.

(0:20:00) – The Memorial + Early Grief Reactions Planning Garrett's service, wanting more photos, and navigating overwhelming emotions.

(0:22:00) – Finding a "Grief Buddy" Heather reflects on how connecting with someone else grieving helped her feel less alone.

(0:31:00) – The Importance of Finding the Right Therapist Why connection matters more than credentials—and how to know when it's not the right fit.

(0:36:00) – Grief as the "New Normal" Heather shares how she built her practice and podcast around redefining grief as something we integrate, not overcome.

(0:43:00) – Grief vs. Trauma Why not everything needs to be labeled as trauma—and how grief deserves its own space.

(0:47:00) – The "Grief Cyclone" Explained Heather introduces her powerful metaphor for how grief moves over time—not in stages, but in cycles.

(0:51:00) – Final Advice for the Newly Bereaved Why grief gets to take up space, why there's no timeline, and how to move at your own pace.

This episode is sponsored by Grief Is The New Normal

Connect with Heather:

• Website: https://clinicians.griefisthenewnormal.com/homepage

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Grief-is-the-New-Normal-Psychological-Services/61555887374241/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grief_is_the_new_normal/

• Youtube: http://youtube.com/@Grief_Is_The_New_Normal

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@grief.is.the.new.normal

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

On Episode 4 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Erica Bohn, a surviving sibling who shares the story of losing her brother, TJ, in a car accident over 30 years ago, and how that loss shaped her life, her healing, and ultimately her path into helping others.

Erica takes us back to her childhood growing up in a close-knit Midwestern family. Both she and her brother TJ were adopted as babies, raised in what she describes as a loving, "perfect" family, until one summer night in 1995 changed everything. TJ, just weeks away from starting his senior year of high school, left for a party and never came home.

In a heartbreaking twist, Erica's father—who never missed work—left early that night with a bad feeling, took a different route home, and was the one who found TJ after the accident. What followed for Erica at just 14 years old was shock, trauma, and a blur of grief, surrounded by a community that showed up in full force, but without the tools to help her process what had happened.

Erica shares how her grief went largely unprocessed for years, leading to difficult choices in her teens and twenties, and how it wasn't until later in life, after becoming a mother that she sought therapy and began to truly heal. Today, as a social worker, Erica channels her experience into supporting others, carrying her brother's legacy forward through compassion and connection.

This episode is a powerful reminder that grief doesn't have a timeline, healing isn't linear, and the people who simply sit with us in our darkest moments can change everything.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Erica + Remembering TJ Erica introduces her story, her bond with TJ, and their unique family dynamic as adopted siblings.

(0:02:00) – A Big Brother, A Big Personality Erica shares what TJ was like growing up—funny, outgoing, athletic, and loved by everyone.

(0:04:00) – The Night Everything Changed A summer day with family turns into tragedy after TJ leaves for a party and never returns.

(0:05:30) – A Father's Instinct Erica recounts how her dad left work early with a bad feeling and found TJ at the accident scene.

(0:10:00) – Finding Out: "He's Dead" Erica describes waking up to her mother's screams and the traumatic moment she learned her brother was gone.

(0:11:30) – A High School Funeral + Community Support The overwhelming turnout at TJ's funeral and the role her friends played in simply sitting with her through the pain.

(0:15:00) – Understanding the Accident What Erica later learned about the crash, and the unanswered questions that remained.

(0:19:00) – Life After Loss at 14 How grief showed up in Erica's teenage years—through risk-taking, avoidance, and unprocessed trauma.

(0:22:00) – Healing Later in Life Erica shares how becoming a mother led her to therapy and a deeper commitment to healing.

(0:24:00) – Finding the Right Therapist Why connection matters in therapy—and how to know when you've found the right fit.

(0:27:00) – A Career Rooted in Compassion How Erica's life experiences led her into social work and supporting others through difficult circumstances.

(0:33:00) – Family Bonds After Loss How grief brought Erica and her parents closer—and what it looked like to grow together instead of apart.

(0:38:00) – Parenting After Loss Erica shares the fears and realities of raising teenage drivers after losing her brother in a car accident.

(0:41:00) – Advice for the Newly Bereaved Why there's no "right" way to grieve—and the importance of support, presence, and compassion.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®

Connect with Erica:

• Website: https://www.mykeeper.com/TrevisTJHeiman

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imjustericadawn?_r=1&_t=ZT-93IVy2FLBoz

Connect with Maya:

• Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

• Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

• Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

• Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com

• Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast

• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast