Look guys,

 

It's Luke here, I gotta be honest with ya. This whole thing falls apart without Colin. Colin was out getting an endoscopy or a colonoscopy, we don't really care enough to figure it out, all we know is, he's getting a tube shoved up somewhere. Aidan and I bring in our two friends Andrew And Jason to fill in for him because people like familiar faces and Doug Brady scares the listeners. We still have a fun time, if you hate Colin listen twice.

 

-Luke Trovese

To Whomever It May Concern:

 

This week the boys had a weird one. I don't usually like the show but this week Luke brought in what can only be described as serial killer energy and the show falls apart. This is the type of content I want to hear. What does it sound like when an animal is cornered and filled with fear? Find out this week on what is usually the dumbest podcast on the planet.

 

-A Listener Who Totally Doesn't Own A Gun

To Whomever It May Concern:

 

It's a new year and it 2019 I'm going to be more honest, and honestly this is the darkest and worst episode of this podcast ever. Aidan, Colin and Luke bring their friend Andrew Manning on the show as their guest and talk in detail about how Filipinos jerk off which, is not accurate probably... I've never seen it happen but it can't be the way they described it. The 4 of them go on to talk about the transgender community again and pose a question that seems insensitive about Buck Angel and Bailey Jay. It's absolutely disgusting how they speak about these people and they should be executed for it. Colin brings in a story about a Florida man who plotted to bomb a bunch of Targets and they revere him as an "intelligent person." They round out the episode with a story about nunchucks being legal in NY again. Luke rants drunkenly all through out the whole thing is a damn mess. I'm almost more outraged by their lack of tact than the content itself. Don't listen.

 

-A Concerned Listener

To Whomever It May Concern:

 

It's the holiday season and I'm writing this. I can't believe another episode has released. This week the boys start off with Colin talking about jumping out of their friends window, which is a real dick move, your friend is letting you record there and you entertain such a sad thing? Furthermore they talk about a girl who works with Aidan who has no father, naturally Luke interjects to remind us he doesn't have one either. We get it kid, your dad hates you. Move on. They go into some stories a man who shoots himself during a gun safety course and Luke talks about how he used to own some guns. Used to? What happened? Aidan comes up with a "plan" to fix Flint Michigan which doesn't feel appropriate at all. In my opinion this is the worst one yet. Give it a listen and tell them in detail how awful they are.

 

-A Concerned Listener

To Whomever It May Concern,

 

Firstly the audio on this podcast is not like the rest which is forgivable but I would be wrong if I didn't at least mention it. The episode starts with the boys confronting Luke on his decision to leave his internship. This causes him to spiral out of control almost immediately. Doug Brady is back on the podcast because life is not worth living and these boys like  to torture anyone who even attempts to listen. The craziest part is that Doug has a new idea for a musical and is confident it will make it to Broadway. The title itself is so horrible it just proves this child is mentally ill, then he goes on a tirade about Pearl Harbor. Colin pulls up a story about goats and calls the company that rents them and harasses the staff. I don't condone such childish and immature behavior. Listen here everyone, this podcast should not exist! We need to rally and stop these boys before they start to gain any listenership. Don't listen!

 

-A Concerned Goat Enthusiast

To Whomever It May Concern:

 

This has to be the worst episode yet. These boys go on a tangent off the top which they call a trans "awareness" portion of their show. They know absolutely nothing about the trans community and are spreading toxic misinformation. Colin brings up a story about a psychopathic judge who lets out all of the prisoners in a small town and clearly side with him the entire time. Clearly this isn't something to joke about but they continue to do so! The boys then go on to talk about Australians and Luke does a really good accent but Aidan shuts that down because he has control issues and doesn't like to have fun. Don't listen.

 

-A Concerned Listener

To Whom It May Concern:

 

These boys have done it this week, they made a whole episode and titled it Colin Educates America. The only thing he is spreading is knowledge of my favorite band (who I won’t mention by name with these clownshoes and tarnish their name) so I thought I would be into this episode. Instead they make a mockery of this great band and all of its accomplishments and also claim that they are famous now. Not only is this spreading misinformation about my favorite band but the famous thing is just a flat out lie. Get more creative and attack a different band losers.

 

Don't listen,

A Concerned Listener

To Whom It May Concern:

 

Welp, here we are again. Does anyone even read these letters? Instead of canceling the podcast, in this episode, they decided to add another crass degenerate by the name of Jason Dennis to the mix. He, however, at least appears to have some class, and remorse, for the awful things he says. The group focuses on a lot of antisemitic humor, which really hits home. I’m not Jewish per se, but I spun a dreidel once, so I totally get it. This episode truly highlights the level of deplorable human beings the hosts are, because by Jason simply asking a COUPLE questions, we find out that these “close friends” know nothing about each other. Colin didn’t even know Luke was a twin? By the end of the episode, Jason seems to get fed up with the obnoxious, vile, meandering, pointless conversations they’re having, and I have to say, I don’t blame him. Cancel this podcast now!

 

Sincerely,

A Concerned Listener

To Whomever It May Concern:

 

I don't eat cum.

 

-Luke Trovese

To Whomever It May Concern:

 

My cries are falling upon deaf ears. There's another episode of The Swan Song Podcast and it may be the worst one yet. These boys are unrelenting in their pursuit of having the dumbest podcast on the planet. Aidan begins the show regaling the other two with stories of the autistic children who come to the grocery store he works at to learn how to shop. Naturally, this becomes a mockery of the mentally disabled, which then transforms into a version of Die Hard that no one would want to watch. The story is followed up with Luke and Aidan bullying Colin into calling himself Vanilla Bean, which is not even a good nickname, its downright lazy. Colin brings stories of dead babies and a mentally ill teenager who doses her classmates with her grandfather's ashes. It is down right despicable. They end the show with a special shout out which I thought was going to be sweet but ends up berating one of their listeners. Please stop doing this show you three.

 

-A Concerned Listener