The Talking Stick

Are we really afraid of change? I’m not convinced that we hate change as much as we say we do. The claim that we hate change is not actually getting to the heart of the issue. I believe that most people do not hate change nor do they fear it. It’s really that people do not believe in themselves nor do they want to arrive at said destination. Change is very much a part of the human experience; it’s happening all around us all the time.

We don’t hate when the sky changes colors as the sky sets.

We don’t hate when the sun peaks through the sky on a cold, cloudy day.

We don’t hate when a child learns to walk.

We don’t hate when a loved one falls in love and gets married.

We don’t hate when we get a new job that we have always dreamed of having.

We celebrate those changes. They make us happy. In those moments, we LOVE change.

So why do we greet some change with a loving embrace while other change we chase out of the house with a shotgun? It’s all about our perspective of change. Change itself is neutral. This means that it has absolutely no feelings towards you. Change is not inherently evil nor is it inherently good. It’s totally neutral. Good vs bad change is all about how we interpret change. We are the ones who attach meaning to change. It’s our perspective that alters the meaning of change. It’s our self-limiting beliefs that cause us to look at change as this scary, impossible task. It’s not the change that you fear, it’s the possible risk of failing or the risk of it not being worth the difficulty of change.

Your interpretation of change dictates your capacity to make changes in your life. Change is not near as difficult as we make it. Today I want to cover a few basic principles that can help you become better at making positive changes in your life.

1. Change will take place with or without your permission.

You are changing every day whether you choose to recognize it or not. You are always changing.

The question we should not be asking is “Should I change?”. The question we should ask ourselves is “Do I want to control the change that takes place in my life?”

If you ever want to become an expert practitioner of change, you must first recognize that change is inevitable. Use that awareness as fuel to choose what kind of change you want to experience. It is much better to choose your change than to just let life happen. Negative decay will always happen on accident. Positive growth will never happen on accident. Positive change will always require your focus and effort. You will never stumble upon positive change. So choose to change for the positive.

2. Change is not as big of a deal as you make it.

Change can sometimes feel so overwhelming. It feels like we are going to sink under the pressure of change. The sad thing about feeling overwhelmed by change is that all that pressure is made up and in our head. It’s not real pressure from change, it’s pressure that you have place on yourself. We are the ones who add weight to change. It’s our perspective of change that makes change so much bigger than it needs to be.

If you expect change to be this vicious, mean, impossible monster of a situation, you will get a very vicious, mean, impossible monster of a situation. Change will always be as difficult as you make it. It’s a perspective thing because like I said at the beginning, change is neutral. It has no desire to destroy you. It has no feelings towards thoughts at all. So if you see change as this funny looking, cuddly, teddy bear of a situation, you are going to receive a funny looking, cuddly, teddy bear of a situation. This is not to say that change is not difficult. If you are training to run a marathon, having a positive perspective won’t make running less difficult. The positive perspective will help you realize that you have what it takes to get through the difficulty of change and it won’t add any unnecessary difficulty to the changes being made.

Don’t add unnecessary pressure to yourself when you are trying to make changes in your life. Change is really not as big of a deal as we make it. It’s neutral. Choose the teddy bear instead of the evil monster.

3. You are as capable as you believe you are.

Change is not some enemy who is rooting for your downfall. Change has not thoughts towards you but guess who does? You. You have thoughts about yourself. Your capacity for change rises and falls based on your self-talk and self-limiting beliefs. Self-talk obviously being the way that you talk about yourself. You would not believe how impactful self-talk is on your ability to make positive changes in your life.

The way that you speak about yourself both reflects your self-belief as well as deepens your already low self-limiting beliefs. If you are constantly self-deprecating, you will strengthen and deepen any negative thoughts that you have about yourself. Self-limiting beliefs are those beliefs that keep us down. It’s the belief that you are not good enough, creative enough, smart enough, strong enough, happy enough, or talented enough. Self-limiting beliefs are the beliefs that slowly over time destroy us. If your self-talk is low and your self-limiting beliefs are high, you will self-sabotage any change of positive change that comes your way. You will not let yourself win. You will not let yourself grow into your full potential.

The more that you believe you are capable of change, the more capable of change you will become. Start by proving to yourself that you can make small changes. Make your bed in the morning and prove to yourself that you can do that ten days in a row. Commit to exercising fifteen minutes a day and do that for ten days in a row. The smallest of changes can start to increase your self-belief as well as improve your self-talk. The more you prove to yourself that you are capable, the more you will feel more capable of bigger change. It’s all tied to your self-identity. You won’t outperform your self-identity. So work on growing a little every day.

So in all actuality, you are not scared of change itself, you simply need to look at change just a little differently. Shift your perspective and watch you grow into a person that embraces change. You are capable of so much more than you realize. The day you start to believe that is the day you start to become a master of positive change in your life.

My thoughts on the new Spider-Man movie. Spoilers included.

For more resources, check out www.tyhaguewood.com.

One of the greatest temptations that we face in the middle of a battle is to not show up and fight. We know that a difficult road lies ahead of us and we do not want to move forward.

It might be that meeting on Monday that you are currently trying your hardest to come up with an excuse to give you a reason to miss.

In this episode, Ty talks about the impact of showing up to difficult tasks instead of running away. Give it a listen and let us know what you think.

You can find more resources from Ty at www.tyhaguewood.com.

IG: @ty_haguewood

YouTube: Ty Haguewood

Twitter: @HaguewoodTy

I’ve had the opportunity to hold some pretty incredible titles. I’ve also been in the place where I wish I had certain titles. The problem with both positions is found in our idolization with titles and status. We dream about getting that title next to our names. We are obsessed with what cool title we can have to put in our Instagram handles and twitter bios.

Most people idolize titles and talk about all that they will one day do when they get that job or finish that book. Well guess what? The title will not do the work for you. The book will not write itself.

I recently heard someone say, “Focus on the message and the platform will come.”

Too many people are concerned with what they will one day do and they neglect that which they should be doing today.

One of the greatest tragedies in human existence is that people neglect, doubt, and minimize the potential and gifts that they possess today. People wait and wait for the day to come when they can finally use their gifts or realize their potential. We wait for tomorrow while the opportunity awaits us today.

The greatest day to lead is today. Don’t wait for the title or the status. Don’t wait for the perfect circumstances or the right inspiration. Don’t wait for some grand opportunity or pay raise. Today is the day to shine.

Everyday that you neglect your potential and minimize your impact is a sad day for the world. The world is in desperate need for people who shine right where they are placed today.

It doesn’t matter if you are a barista at a local coffee shop or a CEO of a company, you have the ability to make an impact every single day. You have the opportunity to shine every single day.

So how can you lead?

I try to pursue four things every day. I want to teach you them in hopes that they change your life like they have mine.

1. Celebrate Beauty Daily

I am in awe by the amount of people who miss out on the beauty around them. I make a daily practice to watch the sunrise and the sunset. I wake up early and enjoy a nice cup of coffee while nature wakes up. I take the time to enjoy the sunset while I celebrate the beautiful relationship that I have with my girlfriend, Dani. Everyday beauty is screaming at you, will you listen or will you walk right by her like the rest of society?

2. Cultivate Creativity

I have heard so many people say that they are not creative. Well of course you are not creative, you take no time to develop or cultivate creativity in your life. Creativity is simple…. Just create. Write in your journal, doodle in a notebook, record a video, post a blog, play an instrument, sing a song, but just create. As you make a habit of creating daily you will continue to become more creative. Creativity can be cultivated.

3. Give Generously

Generosity is not a rich man’s sport. Generosity is something that every person can partake in. We can all give generously everyday. One way is the most obvious which is money. We can give money to a charity, give money to the homeless, give money to a hurting coworker, or any other way you think. Another way to give is our time. Our time is our greatest commodity. It is our greatest asset. Our time is the greatest, most precious gift that we possess. I try to make a habit of giving time to listen to a friend, help a colleague, have coffee with a family member, or help in my community. The third form of generosity that I will mention today is our gifts. We can give our gifts and talents to this world. How? By being the best version of yourself everyday. By taking the time to cultivate your gifts and express your greatness. It is generous of you to shine as bright as you can.

4. Pursue Possibility

A goal that I pursue every day is to be the biggest dreamer in any room that I walk into. I want to be known as the person that has insane dreams and sky high aspirations in life. I want to be the person that elevates everyone else’s views on what is possible. You should too. Pursue possibility everyday. Allow the inner kid in you to take control and dream big. When you dream big, new levels are revealed to you.

Doing these four things daily will help you start leading today. You do not need a title to celebrate beauty. You do not need a status to cultivate creativity. You do not need power to give generously. And you do not need a big office to pursue possibility.

I hope that after you listen to my words today, you would rise up and start leading where life has you. You are capable of so much more than you think.

I love you guys. Blessings.

Ty.

In this episode, Ty discusses the importance of being yourself. The world is going to tempt you to abandon your true self to pick up some fake version of yourself. The greatest thing you can do for yourself and the people around you is to be the best you possible.

Be authentic to yourself. Be true to who you know you can be. Chase the person that you want to be. We do this through fighting to be authentic every day. It’s a day to day battle that you must be focused on winning.

Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of the Talking Stick. You can find more resources from Ty at www.tyhaguewood.com.

In this episode, I review Mike Posner's new album entitled A Real Good Kid. This episode covers a few different lessons that Mike Posner taught me.

In addition to hearing my review of the album, you will get to see me sing a Mike Posner song. Please don't take me too seriously haha.

I hope you enjoy this episode of The Talking Stick.

In this episode, I talk about my results after trying the Wim Hof breathing method for one week.

You can learn more about the Wim Hof breathing method below:

Wim Hof Breathing Tutorial:

https://youtu.be/nzCaZQqAs9I

Wim Hof Method Explained:

https://youtu.be/Y1ial3Rc7Xg

Welcome to the Talking Stick with Ty Haguewood. Today’s podcast is for our young dreamers. Those of you who are looking up the mountain of potential and dreaming about progress. The next few minutes are going to add extreme value and encouragement to your life. Let’s roll it.

The past few weeks have been filled with an abudance of mixed emotions. On one hand, I feel encouraged as I look at all the opportunity for personal growth and progress in my life. On the other hand, I feel discouraged as I look at those who are farther along in their journey. It is easy to fall into that trap. We look at other people’s highlight reals while we sit neck deep in the mediocracy that seems to surround us. We look at them and see world class; we look within and see dead last. It’s easy to live in that space especially when you are at the beginning stages of your pursuit of success regardless of the field you are in. I hope you know that you are not alone in this struggle. You are not alone in frustration of slow progress. You are not alone in the battle for patience and persevernce. You are not alone.

Today I want to talk about a two practical ways to silence the lies in your head. These few steps will help you move forward if you let them.

1. Revisit your dream/goals

Fall in back in love with the dream that caught your eye. Immerse yourself in the dream that you have craved for so long. Envision yourself fulfilling the dream. What would it feel like? What would it look like? Is that version of yourself someone you look forward to being? Totally immerse yourself in your dreams. Focus, with full heart and mind, on the dream. It is incredibly difficult to listen to the lies when your eyes are dead set on the dream. Be so focused that you don’t have time for the lies.

2. Minimize distractions

The main distraction facing young dreamers today is our addiction to escapism through social media. We are addicted to seeing what is going on in other people’s lives. We have a serious fear of missing out on what is going on. It is called FOMO and it is absolutely a real thing. The problem is what you see as an innocent scroll through the feed is actually an addiction to distraction. Not only is it an addicition to distraction, it also expresses a bunch deeper issue. It exposes our desire to escape our reality. We are not content with our setting and the people that are RIGHT in front of us so we check our feeds to see what that CEO is doing and if he posted any new pictures of that car he worked his butt of to get. The CEO is not wrong for posting the picture, you are wrong for not busting your butt to get to where that guy is. You are addicted to distraction. Today is the day to stop that stuff. Make the committment to yourself and the future you to stop letting distraction rob you of progress in your life. Stop clicking your way out of reality and start actually changing your reality through hard work, discipline, and consistency.

Today can be the day where you take INTENTIONAL steps towards your dreams and ambitions. It doesn’t matter how huge the mountain looks from where you are standing; just take a step. Stop listening to the lies and get hyper focused on your dream. Revisit your dream every single day and minimize your distractions. I promise you it will make a major difference in your life!

One of the greatest blessings in my life is the relationship I have with my father. My dad is a dreamer. I can remember my dad always encouraging my siblings and I to dream bigger whether it was in baseball, volleyball, business, or really any realm of life. My favorite memories as a child are those where my dad would get going on one of his famous rants. My dad was passionate about setting goals and how we could achieve them. I am sure my siblings would echo the fact that my dad is a blast to listen to when he gets excited about something—especially his kids’ futures.

I can guarantee you that my dad was shaking his head when he read those words. Want to know why? He is probably shaking his head because in all of those famous dad rants, I was famous for NOT listening to his rants. I would love listening to my dad yet I would put none of it into action. This steadily became more and more evident as I was getting older. I would come home excited to talk to my dad about a lesson that my coach or teacher shared with me. I would tell him something along the lines of, “Dad, you wouldn’t believe it. Coach told me that he thinks that I have crazy potential. He told me that if I stay focused and keep practicing that I could really go far.” My dad’s response was always the same, “Really? That’s what he said? I feel like someone else has been telling you the same thing for a long time.”

I am actually laughing as I wrote those words, remembering the countless interactions where my dad would just shake his head and chuckle because I was so excited about the message that he has been telling me all along. Of course he was excited that I was excited, he just wished I would have believed in myself the first time he told me that I could be successful in whatever I was pursuing.

It seems like I am incredibly gifted at not believing in myself. It didn’t matter how many times that my dad told I could be anything that I wanted to be, I was still not going to believe it. I thank God for the constant push by my dad to believe in myself. So dad, if you are reading this, thank you.

I am writing these words today to hopefully encourage you. I want to remind you that you can truly accomplish way more than you think you can. There is no doubt that dreaming big and achieving your highest goals is a difficult task but guess what? It’s not an impossible task. I want to echo the advice of my loving father. All I ask of you is that you would read these words and try to put them in action.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK

I am king of not going after my dreams because I am terrified of disappointing people. What will they think if I go a different direction than what they wanted for my life? What if I waste the potential that they think I have for that career path? What if I fail? I will begin talking myself out of my dreams out of fear of disappointing people.

I was recently having a conversation with my dad about my crippling fear of disappointing people. He told me, “It does not matter what you do in life, you will have people who support you and you will have people that troll you. You have to stop overthinking things and focus on your dreams. At the end of the day, you are the one responsible for your own life.” This was a sobering reminder for me.

I took a step back and really asked myself, “Ty, why aren’t you pursuing this dream?” All of my answers had to do with my fear of disappointing people. I told my dad, “Dad, I am going after my dreams and I am done asking permission to do it.” I meant those words and they changed me. I am responsible for being my best self and I will not apologize for taking responsibility for my life and my future. I take my dreams serious and it is time to act like it.

I have a feeling that I am not the only person that struggles with fearing the rejection of others. Are you not pursuing your dream job or dream career because you are scared of what someone will say or think? Are you not relentlessly pursuing your dream life because you think someone will be disappointed with you? If you have been like me, crippling yourself because of irrational fears, I am here to tell you that you have to stop caring so much about the opinion of people that don’t care about your future like you think they do.

Put your head down, set your eyes on the goal, and push forward. I promise you won’t regret being your best you.

TAKE THE RISK

The other piece of advice that my dad has been so loving to share with me is the value of taking risks. Just yesterday, my dad and I were talking about my dreams. I told him that I was so close to accomplishing the first tier of my dream. He said, “What’s stopping you?” I told him that I knew that I would have to take a big risk to accomplish it. My dad strongly encouraged me to go all in and risk it if it meant that I could accomplish my dreams. I wish I would have listened to him every time he has ever said those words to me. Instead of regretting the countless times that I didn’t take the risks, I will move forward and take risks in order to achieve my goals and my dreams.

Calculated risks are necessary to achieve on a big level. You cannot say you have big dreams while simultaneously avoiding the risks necessary to achieve those dreams. You may have to remove the financial security of your current mundane job for the sake of achieving your dream and landing that dream job or starting your dream job. If I am unwilling to take risks, I am guaranteeing that I will never achieve on the high level that I say I want to achieve.

Is the fear of losing some security or the approval of others keeping you from taking the risk necessary to move forward in your life? Are you reading these words knowing what you must do yet fear is keeping you from doing it?

START TODAY

I want to close with a very simple challenge. Are you ready? Start today. Don’t wait till tomorrow or next Monday or the new year. Start today. Make the phone call, apply for the job, put together a business plan, go work out, by all means just do something!

Regardless if you had a dad that encouraged you to be your best, if you are reading these words, I am the one encouraging you to be your best now. If you made it to the end of this blog, take these words seriously. Don’t waste another day living in fear and false security, be you and take risks. You are way more capable than you realize. Get after it today!

Talking Stick with Ty Haguewood

Episode #3

Embrace The Grind

I was recently watching footage of Darren Till, a UFC fighter, cutting weight before his weigh in. I have known for a long time about the difficulty that fighters go through to make weight for their fights.

This video stood out to me simply because I had never stopped and watched footage of a fighter actually doing this. I sat and watched this footage with tears in my eyes realizing that these fighters go to war against their bodies in order to make weight and be able to fight.

I was sitting their looking at this guy torturing himself in order to make the fight happen. The crazy thing is this happens all the time. Fighters are known for this brutal process. It is part of the fight game.

I could not help but get frustrated as I was watching this video because I don’t know that I have ever worked as hard as some of these fighters. I mean the intensity. focus, and strength it takes to train for months, have to cut a lot of weight, and it is all for the sake of that one fight. It’s the process that makes these fighters elite.

I know that the average person will probably never know what that exact process feels like but I do think that we can learn a lot from these fighters.

Fighters know that the preparation and focus leading up to the fight is a massive factor in determining if they will win the fight. This is not profound, it’s just true.

We as people don’t always approach our goals and dreams like a fighter approaches his upcoming fight. I contest that we need to start.

Ultimately you and I have some dream off in the distance that we hope to achieve one day. I know that the surest way to ensure that you will not achieve the dreams is by simply not trying. Not trying typically looks like not being content with the process.

You see most people want to achieve their dreams but few people are willing to endure the process it takes to get there.

You can be different.

You can be like the fighter who trains with a high level of focus and precision knowing that the more effective your training and preparation is, the more effective you will be on the day of your fight.

The first thing you need to identify is your goal/dream. Is it certain job? Is it a house on the beach somewhere? Is it that new car you have seen all over social media? Is it losing a bunch of weight?

You pick your goal. Make sure that it is something that you actually want to do / accomplish. This is not the time to let someone decide this for you!

After you pick your goal, you must take a realistic look at where you are and ask yourself, “What will it really take to accomplish this goal?”

After you start to get an idea of what it is going to take, it’s time to start the journey. The journey is where all the growth takes place. The grind is where growth flourishes.

What is often discovered is that the journey, the grind, the process is actually the greatest part of achieving your dreams.

The process teaches you things about yourself like your weaknesses, your strengths, your breaking points, your frustrations, your high moments, your low moments, your habits, etc. The process teaches us so much.

It is important that you actually want that goal or dream and that you are not just saying you do. You will not have the focus to endure if you have never truly had your eyes set on that dream.

The process reveals what you really want. It reveals if you like the old you and all the comforts of that life or it reveals how willing you are to achieve your goals.

Elite fighters want to win bad enough that they are willing to push through the pain of the process to enjoy the product of their preparation.

Are you willing to endure the process or will you cave in? Are you willing to embrace the journey or will you choose to miss your dreams?

Press forward today!

You can watch the footage of Darren Till’s weight cut here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhIhYQFBIMk