In this episode of The Tarot Diagnosis, I’m exploring self-sabotage through a psychological and therapeutic tarot lens and challenging the idea that self-sabotage means we’re just getting in our own way.
We tend to label procrastination, avoidance, staying in unhealthy relationships, overworking, turning down opportunities, or repeating painful patterns as self-sabotage. And when we notice ourselves doing these things, we tend to ask the same question: Why do I keep doing this to myself?
But I think there’s a different question that actually might help us better understand our own self-sabotage: What is this behavior trying to accomplish? Or, what purpose does it serve?
Because from a therapeutic perspective, every behavior usually has some sort of function that benefits us. Even behaviors that eventually hurt us may have developed because, at some point, they helped us avoid anxiety, rejection, shame, uncertainty, vulnerability, abandonment, or failure. In other words, what looks like self-sabotage may actually be an attempt at self-protection.
I explore all of this through psychodynamic theory, attachment theory, behavioral psychology, schema therapy, and, of course, tarot. I talk about Freud’s concepts of Eros and Thanatos, repetition of painful experiences, how attachment can make those old, but familiar patterns feel safer than healthier, unfamiliar possibilities, and why avoidance and procrastination work so well in the short term, even though they often create bigger problems later.
And then I bring in The World, the card that completely changed the direction of this episode. I initially resisted seeing The World as a card of self-sabotage, but the protective wreath surrounding the figure helped me recognize something important: sometimes the boundaries we construct to keep ourselves safe become a barrier that prevents us from experiencing something new, and that might end up being exactly what we need for growth.
From there, I explore several tarot cards as different manifestations of self-sabotage and self-protection, including:
Four of Pentacles as clinging to familiar identities, relationships, and ways of living
Five of Pentacles as rejecting ourselves before someone else rejects us
The Devil as remaining attached to familiar beliefs and behavioral patterns
Seven and Eight of Cups as the overwhelm & uncertainty inherent in choosing something new
Seven through Ten of Swords as an escalating psychological progression of avoidance, limiting beliefs, anxiety, and collapse
The Tower as what happens when an old protective strategy can no longer sustain itself
Ten of Wands as over-functioning, overachieving, over-planning, and carrying everything ourselves so no one else gets the opportunity to disappoint us
The Ten of Wands ultimately brings me back to what I think is one of the most important ideas in this episode: eventually, the thing that was supposed to protect us can become the thing that burdens us. So rather than shaming ourselves for procrastinating, avoiding, over-functioning, choosing familiar patterns, or seemingly getting in our own way, I’m interested in getting curious about the function underneath the behavior.
Maybe we stop asking: Why am I sabotaging myself?
And instead ask: What is this behavior protecting me from and do I still need that protection?
Want more of this type of tarot experience?
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Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of Deep Resonance Sound
Music by Timmoor from Pixabay
