A man was pulled over for having issues keeping his van between the lines on the road. The man was not drunk..... he could not drive as he was moving TWO TONS of drugs in his mini-van... the man has been arrested. In Other News... Someone in North Carolina stole $3,000 worth of Halloween decorations from a guy's yard last week. He goes all out every year, and his whole yard is filled. Thankfully, he says all but one of the decorations were located over the weekend. No word on who took them, or possible charges.

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The first-ever "Florida Man Games" are set for February 24th in St. Augustine, and they sound AMAZING!!!!

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A dad in Connecticut called the cops to report his kid missing after he popped into a grocery store, and they weren't in the car when he got back. But it turned out he was just DRUNK, and didn't realize he forgot his kid at home. He was arrested on several charges. In Other News.... Make a run for the barber…An investigation into a Taco Bell in Indiana finds that two employees were running a barber shop out of the kitchen. Thankfully Taco Bell has fixed the problem.

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An 18-year-old driver was caught after leading police on a high-speed chase, with a sign over his license plate that said, "WILL RUN." He also crashed the car into a family's SUV. Thankfully no one was badly hurt.

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A welding company in Colorado tried to pay a $23,500 settlement in LOOSE CHANGE. Now they might have to cover an extra $7,000 in legal fees because of the stunt.

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A scrap yard in Ohio caught a thief in one of their cars, and they used a forklift to hoist the car 20 feet in the air . . . with the thief inside . . . until the cops could get there. The 911 dispatcher laughed when they explained the situation. A woman in Georgia says that while she was on vacation, a company DEMOLISHED a house that she owned. The workers admitted they got the wrong place. It's unclear what they're going to do to make it right.

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A man in Georgia was pulled over last month for driving 90 in a 55-mile-per-hour zone. That's 35 over, but the ticket was for $1.4 MILLION. The city says it's NOT a typo, it's just a "placeholder" until he shows up in court.... In Other News... Someone in the U.K. stole 35 porta-potties from a racetrack . . . and some of them were "full" when they were taken. The police are still trying to find the thieves and the toilets, which cost up to $2,000 each.

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Some Amish people are being shunned . . . after last week's emergency alert OUTED their secret, hidden cell phones. A former Amish guy on TikTok says he has multiple Amish friends who are dealing with backlash. A Toronto-based burger shop called Good Fortune Burger renamed its menu items to sound like office supplies! This move aims to help people working from home expense their meals as if they were buying work necessities.

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Crocs COWBOY BOOTS will be made available beginning on October 23rd, and they'll run $120 a pair. For now, they say it's a limited release, and it looks like they're only being made in black..... In other news.... A monkey named Momo escaped from his owner's home in Indianapolis on Wednesday . . . and was spotted drinking a BEER he pulled out of a trash can. Thankfully, his bender is over and he's back home now.

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In things you did not know you needed, Charmin spent FIVE YEARS working on a re-design of the toilet paper square, so that it's easier to make a neat tear along the perforation line. But to do it, the had to make the line WAVY not straight, so it's no longer a square.... In other News... A man shot at what he thought was a burglar, but instead of hitting the burglar, he he his apartments' water line and flooded his place... BTW there was no burglar, the man was on drugs and seeing things.

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