The Thinking Horse and Rider: Helping Riders Understand Their Horses | Anna Fox

Can changing the way you move help your horse move with greater ease?

Feldenkrais Method practitioner and Debono Moves creator Mary Debono joins us to explore how a rider’s balance, breathing, tension, and movement habits shape the horse–human conversation. We discuss why familiar patterns aren’t always comfortable, how curiosity can be more effective than correction, and why trying harder can sometimes make movement more difficult.

Mary shares a gentler approach to rider pain, horse stiffness, compensatory movement, and nervous-system learning. She also guides us through a short seated movement experience designed to increase awareness, ease, and choice. Please wait until you are seated somewhere safe—and not driving, riding, or operating equipment—to try it.

Learn more about Mary at marydebono.com.

Get your free videos here: https://www.marydebono.com/rider

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart in the Skool Classroom

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

We pay the bills. We buy the feed. We schedule the vet. We rearrange our lives around our horses. It’s easy to start feeling like the horse should give us something back. A good ride. Good behavior. Effort. Compliance. But horses don’t think about relationships that way.

In this episode of The Thinking Horse & Rider, we’re talking about relational tension—the tension that develops when expectations, control, trust, communication, and partnership all collide. We’ll explore why “my horse should do this for me” can quietly change the way we ride, why compliance is not the same as partnership, and what happens when we stop asking whether the horse was “good” and start asking how the horse actually felt that day.

We’ll also talk about:

• Why caring for your horse does not purchase obedience

• The difference between compliance and true partnership

• Why horses need clear communication, not constant management

• How predictability builds relational trust

• Why agency, choice, and control matter to horses

• How entitlement can creep into horse training without us realizing it

• Why a “good horse” is not always a happy horse

• How to redefine trust so it doesn’t mean “my horse will never surprise me”

• What it means to listen without immediately trying to control the outcome One of the biggest questions in this episode is: Can you allow your horse to make a small choice without treating that choice as a threat to your authority?

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart in the Skool Classroom

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

 Walk to Partnership Meditation

https://assets.cdn.filesafe.space/9ckgbm3alzfPQK2HDqho/media/6aac819d867721cb57117360.mp4

Reference Articles

https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/11/6/1798

https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/11/10/2782

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/animal-welfare/article/opportunities-for-agency-in-domestic-horses-applying-the-behavioural-domain-to-increase-equine-welfare/B79F7F53E2E15FE65DF4EEC3D078C58D

 Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

What happens when trying harder actually makes riding harder?

In this episode of The Thinking Horse & Rider, we’re digging into emotional tension—the pressure riders put on themselves to do everything correctly, remember every instruction, fix every mistake, and manage every part of the horse at once.

That tension doesn’t just make riding feel harder. It can also make your cues less clear, your body less sensitive, and your horse less certain about what you’re actually asking.

We’ll talk about:

• Why emotional tension often looks like overthinking instead of obvious fear
• How too many simultaneous cues can confuse the horse
• Why rewarding the right answer matters just as much as asking the question
• How pressure, release, repetition, and pauses affect learning
• Why “more” is not always better
• How tension narrows attention and reduces your ability to feel subtle information
• Why curiosity is more useful than immediately labeling something right or wrong
• How to stop correcting every little thing before your horse has a chance to respond

You’ll also get this week’s 10-Minute Experiment: a simple walking exercise where you count the horse’s footfalls, quiet the noise, and start developing better feel.

The goal isn’t to ride perfectly.

It’s to become quiet enough—physically, mentally, and emotionally—to actually hear what your horse is already telling you.

Sometimes your horse isn’t ignoring you. Sometimes they just can’t find the question in all of your noise.

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart in the Skool Classroom

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Articles: 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1558787807001359

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1558787810000626

https://www.equitationscience.com/ises-training-principles?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Walk to Partnership Meditation

https://assets.cdn.filesafe.space/9ckgbm3alzfPQK2HDqho/media/6aac819d867721cb57117360.mp4

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

If your brain is already rehearsing everything that could go wrong before you ever reach the mounting block, this episode is for you.

This week on The Thinking Horse & Rider, we’re continuing the conversation from Episode 75 and digging into mental tension and anticipatory anxiety—the fear of what might happen before anything has actually gone wrong.

You’ll learn why your thoughts and body can start rehearsing fear before you ride, how that changes the way you show up around your horse, and why your horse may notice those changes even though they have no idea what story is running through your head.

We’ll also talk about how to separate what’s actually happening from what you’re predicting, why present-moment narration can help interrupt anxious thought patterns, and how to start practicing the mental patterns you actually want to keep.

In this episode:

• Why your thoughts are always practicing something
• How anticipatory anxiety affects your brain and body
• What your horse may be picking up from your fear
• Why “don’t be afraid” usually isn’t useful advice
• How to name anxiety without letting it run the ride
• A practical 10-minute experiment to bring yourself back to the present
• How to tell the difference between a real warning sign and a fearful prediction

The goal isn’t to convince yourself that nothing bad could ever happen.

It’s to become more aware, more present, and better able to respond to the horse you actually have—not the horse you’re afraid you might have.

And remember:

Your thoughts are always practicing something. The question is whether they’re practicing the pattern you want to keep.

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart in the Skool Classroom

Walk to Partnership Meditation

https://assets.cdn.filesafe.space/9ckgbm3alzfPQK2HDqho/media/6aac819d867721cb57117360.mp4

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

In this episode of The Thinking Horse and Rider, we're talking about something almost every rider experiences but few people know how to work through: fear and tension in the saddle.

After an unexpected run-in with a wasp (and a horse standing nearby), I realized just how quickly our brains jump into survival mode—and how similar that feels to what many riders experience before they even get on their horse.

We'll explore:

• Why staying relaxed is the hardest part of riding

• The difference between physical and mental relaxation

• The four types of tension that affect riders and horses

• Why "just be confident" and "push through it" often make fear worse

• Simple exercises to build real balance, body awareness, and confidence

• How breathing, visualization, and nervous system regulation can improve your riding

• Why confidence is built through successful experiences—not by ignoring fear

Whether you're nervous about cantering, worried about your horse spooking, struggling with self-doubt, or simply want to become a calmer, more connected rider, this episode will give you practical tools to help both you and your horse stay in a learning mindset instead of a survival mindset.

Practice the standing exercise at the halt to improve your balance, body awareness, and confidence. Start with a helper if needed, focus on slow, controlled movement, and notice how learning to recover can change the way you ride.

💛 Join The Happy Horse & Rider Lab for more conversations, experiments, and support from riders learning to think differently about their horses.

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share it with another horse person. It helps these conversations reach more riders who want a calmer, more connected partnership with their horses.

This Week's 10-Minute Experiment

The Horse Training Mistake Almost Everyone Makes (Without Realizing It)

What if one of the biggest mistakes we make with our horses isn't what we teach...it's what we stop teaching?

When a horse becomes buddy sour, pushy for treats, anxious at the mounting block, spooky on the trail, or difficult to canter, many of us instinctively remove the problem. We stop taking them to horse shows. We stop feeding treats. We stay in the arena. We avoid the situation altogether.

Sometimes that's smart management.

But management isn't the same thing as education.

In this episode, Anna explores what she calls "The Keep Away Game"—our tendency to avoid the very situations that could help both horse and human learn and grow. Inspired by her recent conversation with animal communicator Ginny Horton, she challenges listeners to rethink whether they're solving the problem...or simply postponing it.

You'll learn:

• Why avoidance is a management strategy—not a training method.

• The difference between stopping a behavior and teaching a new skill.

• How punishment and education create very different outcomes.

• Why well-taught boundaries actually create more freedom for horses.

• How to know whether your horse isn't ready—or you simply need a new way to teach.

• What to look for when choosing the right trainer or coach for a specific problem.

• Why the skills you build at home determine what happens under pressure at a horse show or on the trail.

If you've ever found yourself avoiding a situation because it feels easier than working through it, this episode will give you a new way to think about training—and remind you that every challenge is also an opportunity to learn.

Choose one thing you've been avoiding with your horse.

Then ask yourself:

Am I removing the opportunity because my horse isn't ready yet...or because I don't know how to help them become ready?

Spend ten minutes researching a new approach. Talk to your trainer. Read a book. Watch a video. Explore a different training modality.

Don't just keep the problem away.

Start educating yourself—and your horse.

If this episode resonated with you, follow The Thinking Horse & Rider Podcast, leave a review, and share it with another horse person who's ready to replace avoidance with education.

This Week's 10-Minute Experiment

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart in the Skool Classroom

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

What do horses really need from humans?

In this episode of The Thinking Horse & Rider, Anna talks with animal communicator Ginny Horton, author and illustrator of Soul Sketches, about what horses may be trying to tell us about community, choice, safety, connection, and belonging.

Ginny shares how she became an animal communicator, how remote animal communication works, and some of the common themes she hears from horses during her sessions. The conversation explores why horses may struggle when their social needs are limited, whether humans can truly be part of a horse’s community, how horses experience our emotions and intentions, and why some behaviors we label as training problems may actually be relationship or environment problems.

They also talk about horse welfare, independence, competition, listening to subtle signals, and the importance of asking “why” before trying to correct behavior.

Plus, Ginny shares the story behind Soul Sketches and how the book brings together real animal communication stories and her illustrations of the emotional messages she receives from animals.

If you’ve ever wondered what your horse might want you to understand, this conversation will give you plenty to think about.

Find Soul Sketches: Sketches from the soul of real communications from real animals and their humans by  Ginny Horton on Amazon https://a.co/d/0gDOah5c

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart in the Skool Classroom

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

Should you lead your horse with your heart or your head?

In this episode, Anna talks with Stacey Carter, founder of Heart Centered Horsemanship, about moving beyond dominance-based training to create safer, more cooperative relationships with horses. Stacey shares how therapeutic horsemanship, nervous-system work, yoga, and Debono Moves shaped her mindful approach.

They explore why non-dominance doesn’t mean weak boundaries, how horses respond to what we’re actually communicating, and why doing less can create greater clarity and connection.

For this week’s 10-minute experiment, Stacey invites you to practice “going back to nothing”—releasing unnecessary tension, finding relaxed awareness, and noticing how your horse responds when you stop micromanaging every moment.

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart in the Skool Classroom

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

Did your horse really spook, buck or bolt “out of nowhere”—or did both of your nervous systems miss the quieter signals leading up to it?

In this episode of The Thinking Horse and Rider, Anna explores how stress, information overload and a high baseline level of anxiety can limit a rider’s ability to feel what is happening in their own body and recognize subtle changes in their horse. You’ll learn why regulation does not mean being sleepy or emotionless, why a calm-looking horse may still be dysregulated, and how nervous-system state affects learning, confidence, safety and responsiveness.

Anna also challenges common ideas about getting a horse “forward.” Forward is not miles per hour—it is availability. A responsive horse can go, slow down, rebalance and remain mentally present without the rider constantly nagging or applying conflicting aids.

This week’s Ten-Minute Tuesday experiment will help you notice the first signs of tension, pause before either of you enters survival mode and practice returning to relaxation before trying again.

Join the free Happy Horse and Rider Lab community and learn more about Reconnect, Rebuild and Ride With Heart on Skool.com https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart 

https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!

We spend so much time chasing outcomes in the horse world. We celebrate ribbons, scores, smooth rides, and milestones. But what if those aren’t the things that truly shape us—or our horses?

In this episode of The Thinking Horse & Rider, I explore why the process matters far more than the outcome. Your horse isn’t simply learning from you; they’re revealing who you already are. Every ride exposes your patience, clarity, consistency, emotional regulation, and compassion, giving you an opportunity to grow into the horseman your horse truly needs.

We’ll talk about why visualization is only the beginning, how daily execution creates lasting transformation, why some of the best horsemanship happens when you’re nowhere near your horse, and how creating clarity in your practice leads to faster progress for both horse and rider.

Because your horse isn’t the project. The relationship is.

And relationships are built through process—not outcomes.

In this episode:

• Why goals provide direction but process creates transformation
• How horses reveal our habits, emotions, and mindset
• Becoming the person your horse needs instead of trying to “fix” your horse
• Why daily habits matter more than big breakthroughs
• How clarity reduces decision fatigue and accelerates learning
• The difference between riding consistently and practicing consistently
• A simple three-question experiment to transform your next three weeks

Timestamps

00:00 Why our culture celebrates outcomes instead of the process

02:15 Your horse reveals who you already are

05:15 Becoming the person your horse needs

08:20 Visualization is helpful—but execution changes everything

12:45 Why some of the best horsemanship happens away from your horse

16:15 Clarity creates speed: reducing latency in learning

21:30 Decision fatigue and creating a daily training plan

26:00 Why great coaching is about clarity, not more exercises

28:45 Falling in love with repetition

33:00 Every interaction trains two nervous systems

35:45 Consistency is practicing principles—not just riding more

38:10 Your 10-minute experiment: three questions to change your partnership

42:15 Final thoughts: Train yourself, and the horse will follow

Get the FREE Awareness workshop www.equusenlightened.com

Find me on social media as @equusenlightened.  

Join the Horse and Rider Lab on Skool. It’s free! 

https://www.skool.com/equus-enlightened-8966/about

You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened

Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened

Find out more about Reconnect, Rebuild, and Ride with Heart 

https://equusenlightened.com/reconnect-rebuild-horse-human-partnership

Email me at [email protected]

Happy Riding!